The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

ok
im ashamed
im embarrassed
my bloggy yesterday
sorry
should not rant and rave
should not spend time releasing negative energy
should not bore you with my pustulent diatribes
so no more
that nasty part of sk has been quarantined
(tent on quarantino)
the troublemaker has been isolated
the ringleader has been apprehended and dealt with
severely
thats that
and thats it
and that
and that
no
nevermind

new paragraph
elektra and miranda have arrived
oh my lovely swedish daughters
so kind and nice
ole sk basking in the total overkill of feminine vibes
my five daughters waiting on me
hand and foot
oh so nice people
i recommend having five daughters
oh filial love
oh big daddy sk
(son, did you mo-lest mah daughter
he said, sk, i do not know of what you speak)
yes yes yes
what else
i can write a bloggy filled with love and light
i do not need to stoop to pointless carping criticism
of pea brained rockers
of gurlie schmaltz
of….
(ok he’s loose again
the demon sk
the bitter olde fellah
hang on
sound of left lobe being totally flattened)
ah, thats better
i mean he comes up with something interesting
every now and then
but he was the guy who was rude to the poor little bangles
he was the guy who wouldnt shake simon le blobs hand
he was the guy that played that nasssty trick on toto
whilst make starfish
he was the guy who disagreed with clive davis at arista
he was the guy who insulted the bullies at lyneham high
and left me to be beaten up
(hiya nick ward)
he was the guy….ah fuck him , people
if ya ever meet olde sk
and that wanker is in charge of the operation
give im a quick knee in the balls
and ask ‘im about maybe these fucken bouys
or whatever
whatever you like
i dont care
its a sunny morning in bondi
all five daughters present and accounted for
adelaide and melbourne looomin large
and a poetry reading in melbo as well
oh sk
you pretentious olde wanker
a fucking poetry reading
jesus
i cannot call myself a poet
it is a term that should be conferred
like genius
or a knighthood
(fat chance of that, olde bean)
so i dunno
if you meet someone who tells ya theyre a poet
laugh and walk away
(sounds of 250 people leaving sks bloggy)
hey mah peeeeple
where ya goin

but you do meet wankers
ya say what do ya do man
and they say
Im a poet, dude
HA
HA
nevermind my little fishes
still
it is alright
come to the po nite
the the cornah hotel
then the church murch desk
you can have a total sk nite
readin the po
listnin to the mooosic
lookin at the prints
then finish the nite
by being safe with the new sk condoms
available in titanium white
brilliant red
and regular sorta greeny yellow (these with ribs)
so
the merch train keeps on a rolling
with the new range of sk products
belching out of third world sweatshops soon
guaranteed to be made from endangered species!!
whatever you fiends
i should go home
before he gets nasssty again
lookin forward to narnia
BUT THE FUCKIN WITCH SHOULD HAVE BLACK HAIR NOT BLONDE!!!!!
nevermind all that
elektra is hassling me to finish up
havin a fershlugginer argument rite here
in this backpacker ridden, jet loving internet cafe
jesus
didnt see this coming
she cant understand that theres a few hundred peeeeple
who rely on this bloggo
for their daily fixx
ok
im gonna have to pull the pluggy now
im sorry, my little rodents
my little conkubines
my little ones
mu children of the night
BUT THATS IT
i love ya
YE OLDE SK

yeah
right
ok
here we are
sk had a goode knight last knight
rocked
rolled
shimmied
strolled
put my left foot in
put my left foot out
plucked the basse
sang like a lark in the warm fragrant dark
etc
etc
etc
youre not gonna believe this, my pets
but the jet are playing in this internet cafe
fucking up my bloggy
as i try to ignore their hamfisted sub acdc
bgrade beatle tripe with jam sauce
cmon lord
give us back george harrison and jeff buckley
and we’ll give ya the jet
gladly
(can ya imagine the meeting where they chose the name
uh um duh i gotta grate name fellahs
yeah…duh whats that?
well uh duh wait for it..its pretty speshal…JET
oh wow yeah thats great
sound of shakespeare and rimbaud rolling in their graves)
anyway
(fuck, its hard to ignore the sheer awfulness but im trying)
anyway
jesus
i dont know if i can carry on
anyway
the newt town
still basking in afterglow
still glowing in afterbask
how was it , for you?
im sorry i cannae sit here and listen to this any longer
blame the jet
blame the fuckin jet
im outta here
sk

yo peeeeeeple
alright
sunday morning in bondi
the internet cafe nearly empty cept for me
and some bleary eyed german backpacker
just had me brekky
sausage dog woke up scarlet
krallman had a machiato
nk bought 2 coffees to take home
eve and aurora had pancakes
ah the ordinary and the extraordinary
very few of the people at the cafe realise
that the dude in the black hat and white beardy
is a rocknroll superstah
about to tread the boards in only a few more hours
uh oh ahhh missy higgy on the radio
weakness in muscles
dark fog in mah brain
ah make it stop
ah make it go away
maudlin girlie mushiness invading ole sks neurons
ahhh no…cant take much more
syrupy schmaltzy tripe ascending mah cortex
must focus on bloggy….
must blot out this assault on my sensibilities
ah no sinking in fourth form gurlie poetry
NO
NO
NO!!!!!!
i will not succumb….
thank god
its over
collectin’ mah thoughts
can i be right and the whole world wrong?????

anyway
tonite
cautious, my felons
my fine feathered finks
my choichy little chickens
my anons
my avid and ardent amours
phew
poor sk
so sensitive to horrible sounds
so delicate mah poor ears
so much terrible noise around
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU LIKE YOU GRUMPY OLDE BASTARD?
IS THERE ANY FUCKIN MUSIC YOU LISTEN TO…….?
oh sk, isnt it lonely up here
here in yer tower where you guard the true rock heritage
here in yer brain where you still struggle to inject meaning
into a meaningless pop rock hodge podge
will they ever reward you sk?
will there be a shady grove at the end of your long trail?
will you ever be inducted into the heaven of olde rockers
put out to pasture
enjoying yer twilight years in the sun?
or is it just an endless struggle against the forces of syrup
against the horrible eighties dross of franz fuckin ferdinand
against the jet
against the backstreet bouys
against all those ten million girlie singers
against the hordes of rappers
against the grain
against the flow
against the wind
(SEE THEM CHOICHBOUYS RIDIN’ AGAINST THE WIND)
you see, the day i was born
an angel said to my muvver, (JOYCIE)
(WHO CANT COME ON THIS SITE COS SHE CANNAE ABIDE THE FOOKIN LANGWIDGE)
the angel said
this wee chile you hold in yer arms will one day be the saviour of
rocknroll
he will soldier on with his velvety voice
with his white beardy
with his freckles and earrings
armed only with ye olde basse
armed only with three f maj 7 chords
and the TRUTH!!!!!!
and lo, he will play the newt town twice
AND IT WILL BE GOODE
FOR THOSE WHO HAVE EARS TO HEAR
TO THOSE WHO HAVE BANK CARDS TO BUY CHURCH MURCH
TO THOSE WHO HAVE BACKSTAGE PASSES AND COCAINE
yes, go forth proudly
for this weee chile will teach us how to ROCK!
but he will rock without forsaking intelligence
he will rock without forsaking meaning
and literary devices
(DIDJA KNOW THERE WERE 7 TYPES OF AMBIGUITY….?
AND THE CHOICH KNOWS MOST OF EM)
and the angel sprinkled moondust in mah hair
and golden sunlight in mah eyes of grey

any way, i digress
i digress, my little whoppers w/cheese
i digress my soy lattes with raw sugar
i digress my wheat toasts with apricot conserves

uh oh im digressing helplessly here
and im spoilin’ ya with mah huge daily blog
you guys….!
you guys are gonna have to learn to get by with less
i cant give ya this much everyday
i gotta go home and play barbies with the kiddiwinks
i gotta go home and chop down a christmas tree
i gotta go home and scrub my basse guitar
and learn my fuckin scales
i gotta go home and warm up ye olde velvety deep voice
so tonite
so tonite
i can hardly type it without getting all misty…
so tonite that ye may rocke
so tonite ye may rolle
so tonite ye may twitch and stomp
and have a rockingly goode time
youll see me there tonite
i have propitiated Indra, no storms tonite
i have spoken to Vishnu
who is sks main man
and he said to me
(in sanskrit, which i mysteriously understood)
he said
oh sk
oh you noble and still handsome olde rocker
go to the newt town
and let your people know
it is ok to rock again
only by rockin shall ye be healed
and forget
the bills
the jobs
the politician wurms
the fuckin neighbours and their yappy lil sausage dog
the deadlines
the morons crowding ya in
the nay sayers
the big brothers
the schmaltzy syrupy fuckin tripe thats breakin ya down
the retro oafish swaggering pea brains
the poofy scotch rubbish
the country and weston drivel
the bouy bands and the gurl bands
the aor adult contemporary bullshit
and all the rest

yes sk
tonite
TONITE YOU WILL ROCK
(!)
thats all folks

so many in here
fighting for space
pleading their case
i am just one survivor
i am just a’jostlin’ to be heard
i am an aspect of a composite
that complex and brilliant machine
that had come to be known by the symbols “sk”
on this plane
on this particular plane only
didja think it was the only one
you see tomorrow nite will be played out
in a million newt towns
in a million conjuctions
in a million combinations
all those songs
all slightly different to the ones next door
the upgraded moment
almost was you
yonder the milky weigh
stephen kilby did you write these songs
aye m’lud
were you aware of the similarity between these songs
and the claimants work?
specifically
mr stefan killbees
under the milk and whey
mr s kilbouys
urdu, the milks on its way
and( an unlikely one, this)
mr steven kilbeys
under the wilky may

my honour
i rest my case…….

i can just do anything here

ha
ha
leave great spaces of blanks….

or anything
i can say anything i like
so having that great freedom
IS
paradoxically crippling me
i know what you want to hear
I AM UNABLE TO SAY IT
i know what you want to see
I AM UNABLE TO SHOW YOU
i know you want an end to the gratuitous swearing
SHUT THE FUCK UP
please sk (if it is you)
how will the newt town be
will ya wear ya white clothes as usual?
what does it mean, the white……?
what songs will you do…..anything new…or the same old bunch?
will you be trying any dazzling new dance steppes in your “unbassed” sequences
will you be inviting select fans up to sing maudlin renditions of your most
famous hits
will you be dematerializing the baby elephant from metropolis vid
and making hundred dollar notes rain down??
c’mon sk tell us everything….
a slight pause
hit the refresh button
take a glass of vino
make a fuckin fire, mon
sk is about to talk
sk is about to tell all
will the real sk please stand up…
ok ok thats him
i recognise him, its ok
sk?
SK?
oh…..SK!!!!

initiate sequence
bursts of static
voices come thru
dennis swain the medium
these are the voices of the dead
unintellible sound
transcript interrupted
someone called sk
i see these initials
s…k…?
now i know the answers…..
anything at all just ask
INTERMITTENT WHITE NOISE
what is it all about
BE MORE SPECIFIC
what does it all mean
MEAN IS A MEANINGLESS TERM
DARWIN WAS WRONG
EVERYTHING IS MEANING
THERE IS NO PLURAL
but are you sk?
NO BUT YOU CAN CALL ME THAT
i cant believe you can talk to us like this…on a blog, on the internet
SORRY I HAVE EXCEEDED MY DIMENSIONS
HAVE PERFORMED AN ILLEGAL OPERATION
MUST CLOSE DOWN
is that it?
what about newt town?
what about uninvited like the fuckin’clouds
what about scarlets fever
what about tims bass drum head
what about the distance
what about the time
please dont leave sk
your people need you
UNTRANSCRIBABLE ORGANO/ELEKTRO MISH MASH
BURSTS OF PINK NOISE
FILTERSWEEP
RING OSCILLATION
ATTACK DECAY SUSTAIN
RELEASE
RELEASE
RELEASE
WE GOT OUR RELEASE
IT BROUGHT ANYTHING BUT PEACE
*****************************
14 47.IN 3 MINUTES THIS PORTAL WILL CLOSE
iam dennis swain the medium
these are the voices of the dead

attention
attention
identity known as sk
unable to manifest
unsatisfied externals
problem in subroutine 13
this service temporarily unavailable
sks ego matrix now dismantled
we have nullified a perceived threat
no more velvety voice
no more poignant lyrics
no more freckles
no more white beardy
thats it
its over
off you go
what are you hanging about for?
i said
thats it
and thats it
means
thats
fucking
it
please destroy your choich memorobilia
please return your fanzines
and your choich dolls
these jib is up
intercepted
interference
rock and roll is dead
heres yer gamebouy pal
heres yer big mac
heres yer hollywood version of yer favourite greek epic AND its RUBBISH
heres yer kids hooked on texting and gossip rags
heres yer politicians, the worst sort of cowardly bloodthirsty little men
heres yer telly 24 channels of tripe 24 hours a fuckin day
heres yer job
get on yer computah
get in yer cell
and get typing
and forget the choich
forget those cascading guitars
forget those powerful virile drums
forget that insinuating bass
and forget that olde rockah
him who was le sk
him who was himself and no other
forget those songs about domes and esoteric shit
forget those melodies
forget those words
get that fucken ipod on yer lugs
AND LISTEN TO THAT CHRISTINA UGLYLEERER NOW
and enjoy it you swabs
and enjoy rob thomas
and enjoy limp biscuits
and enjoy britknee
and enjoy the rest of em
thats the end of space rock
enjoy yer blink 657
enjoy yer country and westin
enjoy yer soft adult schmaltz
enjoy yer classic hits from the 70s, 80s and 90s
enjoy yer mad cow disease mince
enjoy your tortured and fricaseed chicken nuggets
enjoy yer coca cola and yer salmonella fries
cos the choich aint gonna be around forever to protect ya
from all that stuff
we cant be yer buffer between yer lovely lil cocoon
and that nassssty hot cold cruel penetrating thing
they cunningly call REAL LIFE
the worlds gonna end in fire and brimstone
AND ALL YOU CAN DO IS REACH FOR A CHOICH CD
sk wont save ya
its all going blank here
uh…must keep……trying….
73$#f76548%*(%*&%5r8f
cant focus
losing…..
h…o…l…d
unstable phenonema
cant keep on….
(SOUNDS OF A COSMOS SUCKING IN ON ITSELF)
(SOUNDS OF AN OLDE ROCKAH SILENTLY SCREAMING)
(SOUNDS OF EMPTINESS)
and then……
NOTHING!

yo mah peeeeple
whats occurring?
ole sk at the internet joint
loads o nasssty eurotrash backpackers, my fishes
hot day in sydnee town, my leiblings
many people making ole sk very angry today
greedy nasssty people ruining it for everyone, my blushing violets
anyway
this is gonna be a short one
big i view today
with a big melbournian rag
dont impress ole sk none
who reads yesterdays newspaper
(well actually i did, just this morning)
yeah, gotta get home
get some answers ready
pull on my persona
get the beard out
put on my earrings
put on my velvety voice
tune up my charisma
(i just washed it and i cant do a thing with it!!)
lotsa people saying why this sk?
why that sk?
why you play that song? sk?
why you no play that one sk?
as if i am anyone to be held accountable ,my old fruits
do i look like im the sort of bloke who keeps his word?
im an olde rocker
i do whatever i like
ask yer polticians those questions, my flock
those lying fat poisonous worms
ask that scum you voted in ,my readers
ole sk never gotcha in no war
sk never ruined yer roads or yer education
or nuffink
just a singer in a rocknroll band
just a tired olde genius
who happens to be in the best band still extant on this plane
just yer regular renaissance dude
just the saviour of rock as we know it
a humble servant
just another blogger in a city of bloggs
just a blip on a screen
never mind
never mind, my starrlings
ive calmed down now
im over it
im surrendering to love
my mind is as big as the wild blue sky
i realise i havent sworn once today
fuck!
i love you
more than the stars above you
i love you
hang in there
be calm
keep on loving me
give me your everything
the lot
im waiting
lay it down
lay it on me
ah……..yes
i can feel it
sk

back in sydney
back in the smog
the jams
the noise
back in bondi
the backpackerss, sk hates nassssty backpackersss
the mynah birds
the seagulls
the fish an fuckin chips
sk, yer humble correspondent
sitting here
hot afternoon w/ sea breezes
all internet cafes full up to the back tourist
cmon sk, youre saying
we dont care about that
how was the gig
you had a bird sigh view
you were there in the thicket
on the grassy null
in the adult book repository
behind the bass
oh short term memory
oh vagueness
i said i was attacked by a crazed bird
feathered blur of testogeronal anger, avian andrenochrome
kids, dont attempt to write like this at home
hey kids rock and roll
ooh mah soul
hey kids boogie too
didja?
well of course we were pretty good i guess
at least it must be high or low
i cant tune in
but its alright
at least i think it was ok
act
the ACT
had sticky black rice, mango and coco nut milk for breakfast, bay bee
stayed in a swell establishment
who were not impressed with the sight of ye olde sk
8 30 in the morning
complete with attitude adjustment
and dressed as a crazed bricklayer
well cyril, they let anyone in here nowadays
aint that steve kilbey , doris?
why cyril, i do believe you are right
he aint alf still andsome…..
ha ha ha
no that was not the case ,my vanities, my little voyeurs
anyway
ole sk gets us back home safe and sound
hooray sk
youre a fershluginner genius
AND a safe driver
thats it you geese
more to follow
soon
real soon

running outta time
theyve found me
jammed mah mobile
cancelled mah cards
hunted me down
this maybe my laste poste
what now….?
the gig tonite and then…….?
and the small bird that attacked me today….?
is there a pattern here
not liking look of gig
not after NEWT town
which was rather nice
but as yall know
im such a little trooper
the show must go on
rah rah rah
back in canberra
where some of it began
wheres the nostalgia, sk?
fuck nostalgia my brethren, its poisonous.
oh yeah you say
betcha went round yer old house sk
and had a peek over the back fence
or went down yer olde skool
and see the place where nick ward intimidated you once
20 years before the choich….?!
yeah
what do ya think?
get in
get out
take those bulging bags o dough
and head for the nsw border
keep runnin ,sk
till they finally getcha
and ya hang up the olde basse
for the last time
love
sk

you got it all happnin’
the gig yeah a groovy club in newt town
the special guests…amanda brown from the go be s for godsake
the white clothes
the enormous lashings of talent
the distinguished good looks
the velvety voice
the 25 year catalogue with the best songs ever
and then
and then….
jehovah, you olde joker
right at show time
he lets ole sk have it
WITH BOTH FUCKIN BARRELS BAY BEE
torrential rain
hey listen you wimps in lundon and nu york
dont tell me a bout rain
what you guys have is drizzle
it spits, it drips
no
no
this was a deluge
this was a flood
this was monsoon, my little barometers
it bucketted down
it thundered
the lighning
the wind
the heavens opened up

in suburban homes around sydney you could overhear
hey honey…wanna see the choich tonite
yeah sure
(huge crack of thunder followed by a lake of water falling outta the sky)
on second thoughts…..forget it!

any way thanks god
thanks indra….was that you?
thanks zeus you egotistical bastard
thanks thor you nordic ninny
thanks for raining on sks parade

what can i say
it was all aligned against me
right as the doors opened

anyhow
the show
well
uh
i dunno
i guess….
was it any good for you….?
olde sk having a crisis of faith
disconnected
oh the snakes and ladders of extreme stardom
oh the cruel twists
oh the pain

and then
and then
i dunno
ole sk stuck for words
musta been that lightning hit i took
re arranged mah molecules
cant remember anything
please tidy up my room now
out to lunch
whats mah name
whats mah number
cmon sk get it together man
this be yer blog
how was the show??
fuck the lightning
how was the show?
sk?
sk?
hello
is there anybody out there?
knock knock
transmission interupted
insufficient credit for withdrawal
please contact your bank
please call home
earth to sk
earth to sk
beep beep beep
this page has expired
sk is dead
long live sk