The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

forgive me my blogg
as i forgive those who write against us
i mean
what are the chances
that i could coff up something brilliant here
every day?!
i mean
i bet even milkshakespeare
wasnt on the money everyday
i realise yesterdays blogg was merely treading water
what can you do with that?
so what can i give ya today?
its a medium day here
good weather for mediums
and re taling spirits
theyre all around
if we but had the apparatii
to apprehend them
i remember days like these
when i stayed with aunty may d.
aunty may was the most lovely lady
who looked after me when i was four
she had the bluest blackest hair i had ever seen
she had a bee hive hair do
and wild sunglasses
she had a lie down every afternoon
she loved the musicals like oklahoma
carousel
etc
she taught me the words to some of the songs
she explained the story of carousel to me
i was besotted
well you see there was this man
and his wife was having a baby
but when he thought it might be a girl
he was nervous coz he was quite poor
and he went out and robbed a bank…
why if he was having a girl did he rob the bank?
well i suppose he felt he would need more money
for clothes and things as she grew up….
anyway
he fell over on his own dagger accidently
and he died…
but years later
his daughter goes into a place
and the father is there as a ghost
and he talks to her, gives her advice..

i thought that was an amazing thing
when i was 4
so amazed by this concept
it seems to set me off on a course
where i expected,
nay,
demanded something extra ordinary
from music film whatever
if it didnae have that somehow otherworldly thing
then you could count me out
i liked religion at school
it was always me and some perplexed minister
debating some arcane biblical quibble
while the rest of the class mucked up
i mean
say what you like about the bible
but
theres plenty of otherworldly stuff in there
come on its a great read
have you read it?
in small chunks its not badde stuff
(even when you know the ending)
then as a kid
i always had the knack of finding books
in libraries that blue my mynde
lots of weird politically incorrect
DARK stuff
its all comin; out in my songs all the time
thanks aunty may d.
you looked after me just fine
and
you set me on my lifes predilection
one rainy afternoon in 1959
in mt st thomas nsw
i realised what i had to do
i had to try to describe
what could possibly be out there
and
in here
they dont make em like that lady anymore
i sure wish eve and aurora could spend an afternoon with her
ok my frends
thats a all
sk

where was i ?
i went to bed saturday nite
now its monday morn
oh sorry fiendss
didja miss me while i was away?
didja play my records all night long..?
well im back
and this time its personal
i been painting smoking listening
i been listening to some things
trying to work out howcome i still
love em
after so many years
moonlight mile by the rolling stones
jesus i love that song
i dunno what mick jagger means anymore
but when he wrote the words to this song
he was top of his game
and the music
evoking the wide spaces of america
im coming sister and im dreaming
im driving down your moonlight mile
the strings comin in
you can feel those green shadows swimming around ya
i wish id written that one
what else..
the cocteau twins
eno
single gun theory
loo read
tea wrecks
the usual stuff
i listen and i paint
and it all joins up
till im painting the music
and its going round and round
i finished shakespeare in bondi
its another mastahpiece
what can i say?
im tired of the louvre begging me for an xhibition
the da vischy code scared me off
gee this bloggy is refusing to coagulate today
i cant get onto the main vein here
its already 10 36
its already about 90 degrees farenheight
its already yesterday
the doodles back at skool tomorrow
the wheel turns
the silly season is over
sk gotta do all those things
he been procrastinating doing
beard needs a trim
“you look like father christmas, man”
my studio needs clearing up
pastel dust everywhere
dried up paint
pencil shavings
bits and bobs all over the plaice
random papers blowing around
toys and mags
i hate cleaning up
unless im listening to a good record
then i dont mind
im still waiting for the main thrust of this blog
to come to me
some poem
some rant
some rave
it aint happening
sometimes its like that
a gig that dont connect
a song that dont like to be sung
a picture you cant draw
a blog with no perceivable theme
ive already down my laps
and ive already done my lapse
beat my chi gong
meddi tated
i feel even steven
equilibrium
poised between the past and the future
between birth and death
the huge mystery still hardly even guessed at
51 years
hardly anything figgered out yet
wasting my time i guess
listening to my E go
cmon god
gimme a break
why is it so hard to even grasp ya for a nano sec
i dunno
i got no answers today
im just a civilian
im just a bohemian fool
with a bloggy
and not much to say today
trying to stretch it out
even tho it aint goin’ nowhere
in partickular
a holding pattern
whatever you think
insert yer own clever observations in the comments section
go on
knock yerself out
hey
you wanna take over for me…?
be my ghostblogwriter?
can you mix yer metaphors?
an aphorism for every occaision?
are you over 18 with a currant drivers licence?
raisin hell?
is you disposable income over 100 k with
bonuses and key to vip pissoir?
do you ever watch olde rockers
and think
“gee i could do that”
do you have an aptitude for jangly guitars
and wistful mistful wurds
apply here
sending your full names
your previous lives
your most unspeakable wishes
and a good nude polaroid
and you may be
helping me
put my next blogge together
and accompanying me
on a ten day
all expenses paid
holiday
somewhere nice
sooner or later
AAARGH!
i love you
eeek im mentioning you
handy youre mentioned too
but careful with the vegan jokes buddy
eating animals aint no laffing matter!
who else
krissy the groupie…
whose groupie were ya?
what was he like?
better than me?
impossible!
capt hession, my olde mate!!
anonymous, you bastard!
anonymous, hi, how are ya?
diane ooooh you are so nice to me!
cecilia oh i love you…remember montreal? sk in a dress?
my little brudder russell
this was all your idea!
michael h, you are a gentleman!
m w m are you reading today?
dutch pee air what a trooper
and yer still handsome after all these years
the boys in england…you pasty pale pommies
the oirish contingent, toppo the morning to ya
the swedes hej hej hej ..jag alskar er
the french….big deal
the germans…get me a bmw ad baby
i dunno who else is there
if i forgot you
tuff luck
it means i love you even more
i just couldnt remember ya thats all
love love love
sk

ok
everything back to abnormal
whatever i was gonna say yesterday
has flown from my head
i notice thre are small black ants
running all over my terminal here
its so noisy in here
hard for my imagination to take off
never mind
all that
as an incredible co incidence yesterday
i bumped into mr frankie k. a great musician
and a friend from the emerald aisle
very nice guitarist
who your humble scribbler met under
embarrassing circumstances
20 years ago
(ok oldetimer, were gonna hear it
whether we want to
or not..
aint we?)
yep
you are
it was like this…
your screen warps
you are inna limo
outside its a snowy cold day
turning into night
its 1986
your somewear up new england way
tonite your band is playing an ice rink
and for some reason
some dude has laid it all on
limos, accom thats like these
individual named winter wunderland cottages
in some little forest
now sk and boize
zipping down ye olde highway
imaginin their bigge rock starz
on their way to an important gigge
ya get to the ice rinky dinky
its huge baby-o
wow the fantasy is perpetuated…
we must be huge here…
theres fuckin’ security men everywhere
SECURITY MEN !!
wow im gonna need some protecting
from that wilde space rockin’
conneckykutt crowd
or wherever we are…
oh kay
nice catering
veggie food
guacemole dip….
BLUE corn chips, ok
im gettin impressed
this gigge could be ye olde rip snorter
oh we’re gonna feel like a real group…
we start yonder soundcheck
we are just doing myrrrhhh when
some uvver bleedin’ groop arrive
standin round staring
or glaring
at yer fave bands goode soundcheck
sk slings down his fender basse
carefully
minces off stage in a huffy
who the hell are these druids
raining on my little parade
here in this snowy forest ice rink
in the middle o nowear
tonite was gonna be our night…
nervous and long sufferin’ tour manny:
well uh steve uh theres a bitta confusion…
confusion..CONFUSION! what confusion??!!
well there two groopz playin in icy rinc tonite…
who are this uvver groop…?
theyre called CACTUS WORLD NEWS
the name sends fear into my innards
aint they from ireland?
yep.
somethin to do with you too
yep.and their album is 36 on
the blah blah blah chart
with the bullet, baybee.
sk all hot and bovvered
but says t. manny
the contract aint cleer who goes on first..
what? us open for them? us
the best aussie space rock band ever?
the guys who made heyday?
the orrible urch from bondi beach
opening for some irish unknown quantities
who may even be ..gulp…POLITICAL?
never the rose without the prick
why does every eden have a fuckin’ snake?
we hunker down into frozen silence
the 2 groups checkin’ each others haircuts
checkin’ each others guitars
checkin’ each others position in
the college crossover indy tiny chart
we aint goin on before them
we mutter to each other
angry and sullen
we watch their soundcheck
theyre kinda loud and angry
i’ll not bloody go on before loud and angry
irish groopz
how will this be resolved
were both been booked here
in this cold cavernous hall of ice
but it dont say who sposed to go on furst
we getting perplexed
what if it is sposed to be them…
(now heres a perfect example
of takin yer eye off the ball..
while we were sulking and complaining
and being all egotistical and proud
our managers were back home
rakin’ in the dollars
and laughin’)
so eventually we decide to just turn up late
that way they got no choice
and it worked before
once at a festival in norvern nsw
back in the erly daze
we didnae wanna go on before
the sonny boys
so we just turned up late
the sonny boys had to go on
ha ha
and now it was these guys turn
to learn
dont mess with the crunch
go back to my lil cabin
its even got its own name
we hang out
we hop in limos
we return to gig
the oirish fellas have been and played
we meet em backstage
they dont seem angry
or anyfing
they seem to be kinda smurking
ok whatever
sk retires to dressing room
ah this is more like it
ooowee theres my bottle of mescal
wow i drink it everynite
thinkin it contains mescaline
roll up a number
feeling like a little king here
celtic tiger vanquished for now
steve, i got some bad news for ya
i fix the t. manny with a laconic stoned gaze
not now olde been, im getting my charisma together
ok, man….it dont matter
ten minutes later
we swann onstage
to 8 people
in this enormous echoing empty
place
the security men outnumber the “audience”
ten to one
i see c.w.n. disappear out the back door
those lucky bastard escapin this frozen hell

it just goes to show…
something…
i guess
love on ya
meee

dear little fiends
i hadda lotta argy bargy getting on my own site today
i gave up in disgust and hadda look at
my poor neglected overflowin hotmail
i spy an interview with a vegan mag which i have half completed
i throw all my sk-ish-ness into that
thinkin’ yon blogg was a dead duck
now oh no
oh dear
here you are waiting patiently
expecting the next installment
and all i got for ya is this
SORRY
tomorrow tommorrow
everybody gonna know me better
and tommorrow
everybody gonna drink my wine
sk

my landlady had strange properties….

it was australia day
i was working on a picture of shakespeare in bondi
it was very very quiet
it was warm and overcast
special magic weather
it was dark in my house
i’d been stumbling along
in the hall
for hours and hours
somewhere up ahead
a door was open
and white light was streaming in
book shelves and toys went by
scooters guitars backpacks shoes
i stopped to rest by a forlorn suitcase
battered by a thousand trips
round and round the world
up n down the east coast
hey i left some of my inklings in here
a graveyard of half finished poems
and paintings that didnt work out
we need you too
they call out
as i fight n flail my way past
hoping desperately
to pick up some momentum
to achieve liftoff
a box of electric junk
cables levers buttons inputs
the debris from my mind
discarded worlds
used up love
you see
you think
that i could turn this off
like
ok i had enough now
but it doesnt stop
a verse of an old number
i whipped up in 1974
“god never looked so lovely
on such a moonlit day
all milky incandescence
all girlish gaunt and grey
the world below him trembled
and cried out in its awe
the rivers turned to silver
the silver turned to war”
all this old stuff hounding me
all the bits n pieces
i was trying so hard
just to move one inch towards that door
where that light shone so sweetly
calling me on through the molasses
of my memories
the syrup of my surplus
the cream of the rest
reminiscent backwater
dream cul de sac
a smoke dream
gone with the wind
after another thousand years
i reached the door
to the kitchen
and was surprised
by myself
hello how are you?
why ask me? you should know
the two of us shook out the drawers
and folded the plates
we rinsed off the goldfish
we polished the moon
we wrote a little song together
he came up with the music
and we did the words together
is this another red herring? i asked
for you maybe he said
but not for me
lets go and wake up the children
ssshhh i said
no dont
anyway theres no one home
all the rooms are empty? he said
i nodded miserably
man pull yerself together! i said to me
we decided to turn
and keep on trying for the door
he was no help
he had all my faults
but none of the strong points
what would they be? he asked smilingly
he dropped off somewhere back there
im better off without him
the hall was still dark
the light was still shining
i was still there/here
moving forward
inch over inch
degree on degree
song by song

see you real soon
sk

god morgon
how are you?
here, its a warm drizzly day
the walls between the worlds
wear thin
and in places
the holes are obvious
memories and ghosts come unbidden
in the warm dark spaces
in still rooms
in the paintings hanging down
in the mirrors
today everyones on their own
the newspapers are blank page
after blank page
the tvs are muted
the screens flicker soothing pattern
alone in this rain world
my memories fill up
teeming
they overflow
i remember days like this
1959 infants school
the rain outside
the smell of banana-y lunchboxes
the bush outside rustling and dripping
the wide eyed wonder of the children
amazed
to be here again
magic realism
suggestion
deep in my cocoon
the years find me
winkle me out
but i wanted to stay there
a little longer
come say the ghosts
we are your audiences
you can tell us everything
ok
im driving thru a tunnel
im in a band
the tunnel seems to be going on forever
the band is having a sleepy argument
i drive on
becoming hypnotised
by the walls which rush pass uniformly
there is no other traffic
in here
the guy in the middle awakes
with a start
he tries to wrestle the wheel from me
he was having a dream that I’d fallen asleep
at the wheel
we get to the gig eventually
my instrument curves away from me
even as i try to play
i meet some people outside
nice show man
you wanna come back to our place
i climb in their house
they seem so vaguely familiar
do you know who we are steve?
they say
no, not really, i mean…
we are the people in yer songs
oh yeah the sunburnt landlord
the guy from an interlude
some rainforest girls
a roman
florian trout
elli, eve and aurora
the glow worm
2 or 3 marias maybe
you can imagine
and others step forward
friends i didnt have
the people i never married
children who very well could have been mine
steve what can we get you?
i wander thru the party
in this rainyday house
somewhere on the edge
or conjunction
or warp in the fabric of my life
ah
its all coming back to me
we sat around laughing and drinking
i look at my watch
that i never wear
cos i cant stand time
its time to go
the door is closing
the chance has passed
the cupboard is empty
ah, its all so unlikely
already a silver sun is pushing thru
melting ghosts
dissolving memory
re-stabilising reality
reestablishing ordinariness
comforting warm ordinariness
sometimes im so glad to see you
sometimes im so glad you stayed
i gotta go now
gotta wander thru the streets
gotta keep on looking for you
even though i know you are here
i told ya yesterday
if you wanna be with me
you gotta embrace paradox
dutch pierre can….
why cant you?
sk

i was thinking about numbers
as i was pushing thru the sea pool
about how i been in this group
this band
for over half my life now
we left the main road so long ago
we are making our own way
but still perpetually lost
i am starting to appreciate the paradoox
we are making our own way
but we dont know where we’re going
everything is paradox
vishnu says I am and I am not
(the westerner in ya says
oh yeah, thats bullshit
it does not compute
captain, thats quite illogical)
now
you gotta get yer head around it
and you gotta get yer head around
being in something
for this long
having remained true to original manifesto
and yet
having transformed
sometimes so painfully
sometimes so easily
and here we are
still going
that doesnt deserve any applause
just cause we stayed together
maybe it was the path of least resistance
the devils ya know etc
i never in my wildest dreams
OR
nightmares
did i think this would go
on
and
on
and
on
what would 26 year olde sk say
about it all?
who cares, he wouldnt have understood
we have adhered to our manifesto
to create the best music we could
with nice lyrics
and all the accoutrements
according to our heroes
and as anathema to those whose music
we loathed
determination not to fall in all those
money glamour power traps
determination to steer our own little fucking ship
determination to seek the stuff we wanted
and not listening to small minded short sighted musick bizz
types
who disappeared a year or two later
while we have endured, baybee
you wouldnt believe how they try to deflect me
from my course
from my destiny
those clowns and leeches in the bizz
you see its not just writing
cool jangly oblique electric symphonies
thats the easy part
its battling the inevitable idiots
populating that strange stupid thing called
the bizz
so any way
26 years of strummin’
pluckin’
travellin’
waitin’
soundcheckin’
findin” veg restaurants
packin’ and repackin’
sayin’ goodbyes
scorin’
laughin’
yellin’
singin’
one year
in 1988
we would get up at six in helsinki
after having gone to bed at 3 or 4
we’d fly to rome
do a tv show
(with lotsa italian style argy bargy)
do a loada interviews
do a show
gee its 4 in the morning
dont we get up in an hour
and fly to minneapolis
jesus i might as well stay up
mmm i dont feel too badde
after havin flown here via 3 other airports
customs
queues
taxis
luggage
etc
sk check into nice roomy sorta art deco
oohh sk not feeling so goode
whole world warping in a very NONpsychedelic way
everything falling down on me
world was imploding on me people
can you dig this?
everything that was out there came in on me
i had nothing keeping the outside out
i start weeping uncontrollably
a music bizz type called my manager
comes in my art deco warping bleeding room
why are you crying guy?
your album just moved up the charts a few spots….!
sk has 2 big shots o brandy fast as room service
can bring em up
now its a good thing that i dont really drink much
and have NEVER really been drunk in my life
cos the brandy slugs me
hammers me back into
this theatrette
we call “reality”
manager whisks tired and emotional singa
off to hospytal
this man is exhausted says cluey doc
he needs 3 weeks off right now
sure sure says manny
i’ll see to it
next morning post my nervous breakthroughdown
im up at 7 touring sam fucking goodys warehouse
in st paulie
meeting and greeting bewildered staff
at this stoned reclusive aussie space rocker
who don’ wanna be there a’meetin’ em
and is just keeping that BIGGE nasty feelin’ at bay
you see folks
once that levee in yer head breaks…
its gonna happen easier the second time round
i thank all my gods
that i never had that feeling again
even getting off ye olde gear
but i seen others gettin’ it
and its somethin’ to be avoided
thats for sure
anyway i did get my day off eventually
3 weeks later
on a train between washington and somewhere else
much farther north
maybe up there
where mike baroney from new haven
used to come and see us
i tell you touring can be a lotta fun
it can also be the most infuriating
slow stupid fucking runaround
waiting for people
sitting and travelling with the same bunch
turns you into something
you didnt wanna be
so you gotta resist yerself
as well as the imbeciles out there
hell bent on turning the band
into whatever was “bigge” at that point in time
imagine if yer humble hero had listened
i’d be a kiltwearin’ breakdancin’newromantic
grungin’screamin’ wreck
i always thought
why dontcha get yer own band, pal
then you can try these pathetic OBVIOUS ideas
out yerself
and leave me be
i only tell you all this
deer reeders
so you may imagine a little
of the determination
that was needed
to be here with you today
still proud of my band
we’re oldies
but we’re goodies
i reckon anyway
see ya round
sk

morning, fiendss
today not a goode day
for yer humble scribe
gotta take yon kidss for innoculations
like many many things in this world
and this age
youre doomed if ya do
youre doomed if ya dont
theres a mountain o literature
why ya should
why ya shouldnt…
didja know, frinstance
that some of the injections are suspended in mercury???
gee i really wanna shoot lil baby bouncer
up with f$^&$ing quicksilver, dont i
poor lil scarlet gurl gotta have THREE shots today
this morning evie says
dad i dreamed you guys forgot we gotta have injections today
dream on, lil sister
you gonna have to have it
i hope im doing the right thing
another weird thing
have i ever told you that aurora gets up
sleepwalks around
talking in some olde germanic language
anyway, i have this book of medieval german painters
and she regularly comes in my studio room
and reads that book for hours and hours
aurora, i say, how come you can read that book for so long
she looks up dreamily
i dunno dad……i just like it…
hmmmm, something going on there
i need mr s fandorin to hear her
tell me if he recognises any words…
another dilemma: education
do i really wanna turn my kidss over to the sausage machine?
could i really eddycate them meself….?
did ole sk learn anything useful at school
other than avoiding bullies and chatting up les chicas?
after i learnt to multiply and divide…?
what goode did all that tripe do me?
evie and aurora aint gonna be useful cogs
in the great machine…
i hope
how about we establish
the united states of bohemia
no maths
no suits
no police
no politishians
no gossip rags
no gutter press
no pressure
yeah
no worries
gonna have to wait for heaven, i guess
the system is in place now
gonna take a huge upheaval to dismantle it
who wants all this?
you think this is why god put you on this
sweet green world?
to sit inna office
with flourescent lights and air cond.?
with underground carpark and friday arvo down the pub?
so you could grovel yer way up the fuckin ladder
(sorry mum)
cmon
what about all the other animals…?
they survive without all that stuff, dont they?
why did it have to go this way?
dont ask me
im just an olde rockah
who doesnt wanna see his wee daughters get jabbed
and whos railin’ against the injustice of it all
the unfeeling protestant work ethic trap we are all in
the industry
the pollushion
the modern hive
everyone working
typing away on electric boxes radiating their evil rays
up in skyscrapers
or down in pits
driving trucks
or filing reports
cmon
its all a red herring people
its keeping ya from discovering
why you have taken on yer suit of flesh
why you are here
what the hells going on out there
dont ask me
im just a singer in a rocknroll band
i love ya
i feel for ya
id make it better if i could
im as mad as hell
an’ im not gonna take it…

sk

sunday again
a lovely day for a ramble
a meander
thru my mind
with you there to keep me honest
make sure that i come clean
i was sposed to be at yoga
but its closed due to fire
the blogg monkey on my shoulder starts up
hey man lets score a little blogg…
ok here we are
me and my monkey
nothing to hide
im just gonna hit random
see what comes up

much attention in aust gutter gossip rags
paid to leaf carrot and peat doe-hurty
for drug offences
wallowing in their self righteous glee
printing carrots mug shot
listing all peats crimes and misdaemeanours
etc etc
build em up
knock em down
fry the small fish
while the leviathans get away
strange world my fiendss
the immanent nature immersing us
the skies, unfathomable
the seas, liquid green skies, themselves
birds and fish
flying through webs
nets
traps
down here on this earth
we encourage em
and we laugh at em
when theyre caught
focussed in on minutiae
the fine red print
rules and regulations
theyll drag yer dick thru the dirt
and tell ya yer name is Mud
jealousy and envy moved in next door
to everyone
i cant live my life
im too busy
wishing i was living yours
we are grown up children
we accept whole monstrous lies
we quibble over words
oh yeah sk,
we heard yer antimaterialistic rant before
i know you have, sweetheart
but im still perplexed
it dont go away with just one rant
the whales are still being a’killed
the bombs are still a’dropping
the worms are still a’lying
and the rest of us
we just want a quiet sunday
ok then
some peace and quiet
ah thats better
calm down
forget all that

my daughter miranda
wrote something in english
(not really her first langwidge, as ya may no)
and olde daddy steven
quite shocked and rocked
by goode yon daughters grasp
of sentence construction
use of unusual words
simplicity and flow
content
and by the singularity
which flowed thru the piece
a vein of thought
i also felt a certain kilbeyness
a way of seeing things
a way of putting things
now i know parents always trumpet their own kids
and i try to avoid that mostly
anyway
never underestimate yer children
they probably are much better
at some things
than you yerself are
i dunno how much i should discuss em here
i dunno if they or you will appreciate that too much
they are quite a nice bunch tho…

so much going on in crunchland
delays
(yep, you already guessed it)
discussions
projects
offers
fete openings
you know
secret bigge things coming up
maybe the crunch will climb everest
maybe we’ll hunker down
in antartica for a year
in a biosphere
jamming in a white void
miles from the nearest audience
maybe i should write my auto biography
i mean, who else is….?
yeah
06 could be a huge one for the crunch
or maybe the year that nuthin’ happened
its in the lap of yer gods
i just try and let go
i wanna do everything at once
but they tell me you cant
i wanted to release ultc the second after
david trump put the final mix to bed
and now its gonna take this long
guess we’ll all just have to be april fools then
i listened to it the other day
in my kitchen
as i was washin’ up
(yes, anonymous, even genii wash up
actually i have a dishwasher
but i dont know how to use it
PLUS
i hate the noise
PLUS
it seems after all that preparation
you might as well
just wash up)
anyway
i did listen to ultc
trying to hear it thru your ears
some goode stuffe indeed
by the way
i am reminded
that karmic hit gave all december buyers
a free cd
featuring a few sk thingos
but have not heard ONE word
from anyone anywhere about it
although my tracks are pretty good
my fave is track ten
which is by someone else
and its bloody gorgeous!!
try to get a copy if you don’ have one yet
its FREE baby!!!!
this blog contains no swearwords today
in honour of my mother joycie
who will wade thru the politics drugs and rock
but NOT the #*&%*^$ing swearing
muvver
this blogs for you

but i may not be able to keep it up
for too long

now
im thinking of an experiment
an experiment on myself
you see
ive got a foot in two boats
that are starting to drift away
from each other
on one side is yoga swimming meditation fruit etc
on the other
is pot chocolate alkyhole party drugs sweets etc
im thinking of going straight
not “straight”, paula
but straight
get off ALL the badde stuffe
the stuff thats binding me to maya
the heavy tripe thats weighin’ my spirit down
you see
i have had half a revolution
but now i have to purge
some of the things
that i SEEM to love
ive gotta get clearer
i gotta take the guesswork out of this
see what i can really do
it means no drugs
no tea or coffee
no sweets
it means 30 laps 6 times a week
it means yoga for at least an hour
every day
it means meditating at least 90 minutes a day
it means total veganism
it means regular fasts
it means contemplation and reflection
ok
they are the ideals
i did maintain this regime once
twenty years ago
after six weeks i was communicating with animals
(i don’ care if ya laugh)
i was ready willing and able
to do whatever you wanted
i tumbled outta bed every morning
laughing and saying whats next?
i was going up and up
i was slowly approaching god
and then
well
the crunch toured the u s a
enuff said
anyhow
i have been thinking of conducting this
experiment in realisation on myself
for our information
to see whatll happen
AND
i got all you
to keep me honest
as i said before
and everytime
im tempted
i will think of ye
and resist

but i aint started yet..
soon
baby
soon
i gotta sneak up on it
when its not looking
BANG!
sk is a saint!

i love you
i guess
me

hiya groovers
this is just a shorte blogge
im alive and living
and thinking of ya
love
sk