lamb
i am so angry
i ve been a stupid ive been a clown
i ve been trapped in my story
while scarlet stares at the ice on hornsgatan
and the christmas stars
its 5 am there lamb
what is she dreaming in her warm little bed
wheres my pet foot ? i ask her
its gone to sleep ….she says dreamily
hello i’m saying down a phone on a little beach
the ionian sea wraps a double bay
my shipwrecked posse gone down jammin’
i washed up on this career strand asking for help
we sit in the bath soaking in missions lotion
is anything happening to you ?i ask kathy
i look at her breasts in the dim candle light
i watch the warm glow hug at them
her nipples remain raspberry like
i sink down deeper into a suitcase with a false bottom
i buy some new shoes these will look good my sister had said
she could wear the same size as me
she found a shirt for me to wear
i put in on lamb
i looked in the mirror at some old cat in shorts n a fancy shirt
oh that looks good kathy said but i couldnt be sure
we walked around a bit together thru the monaro mall
what year is this mister someone asked me in thetis court
i turned to kathy but she had wandered off
the bathwater grew cold i climbed out i left her in there
my head was clouded my eyes all misted
i had displaced my weight in water
the front door was open
i stood in the night quite nude and innocent
the warm water turned cold on my skin
my skin moved over my bones and my flesh was as stone
kathy i said on the phone on the beach
but as i woke up my hair was full of sand
an old morning had dawned all sold or pawned
a tired grey sky
the same drab planes were coming in from hypothetical city
the sea churned and sloshed at the razor sharp shells
a fishermans boat a lone gull
no mermaids no mermen no treasure no exotica
a yacht on the horizon
a couple of the opera house sails
premature evening hovers like an ardent suitor
i see you in the darkness then lamb
i see you before me wandrin’ the fertile night
i still hear kathy splashing in her bath
i still see dad fighting in his war
the cards were to tell my fortune
and they did in spades
more ardent suitors on the phone for lamb
who followed me to school one day it was against the fucking rules
gee my new shirt looks good tho i say to my ‘maginary audience
kathy says theres skulls on yer shoes
boy she got things done fast
i forget how everything works
i cant find the instructions for my particular model
the fragrant evening caresses my tingling hide
music smeared across silence
flowers started to fade
alright
lets talk tomorrow