The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

uncaptioned

picking up momentum

secrets only slowly reveal

so many memories

a long eventful life

all those w0rds i write going round

up n down in the pool again

another day will pass

music children painting

more life more to live

in my quiet room

where i work work work

play play play

closer to the sea

courtyard with floorboards and little plants

rain gently falls

my dreams will be amazing tonight i think

symbolic and prophetic and gone by morning

tuesday ruby red will rise from a green sea

no one bothers me or bothers about me here

so quiet

my daughters are all delightful

every single one what a blessing

every day they all amaze me

i hope i dream of some of them at least

let me dream of children i knew half a century ago

yet here i am still fired by some vigour

my mind and energy burn on and on

intensity and focus increase

let me sink into black slumber

where naked velvet flesh downy and fresh

cushioning my endless fall from grace

with the face of a fox tell me that

a spirit honours me with its whispered words

the rainy courtyard is drip drip dripping

buddhas and shrubs in some soft light from windows

i feel a sacred connection to the night outside

grateful for this peaceful room

i will lay down and let my furtive mind wander

in the dormant and deep turmoil of sleep

photo of me

on the bottom of the old white pool

winter swimming for endorphin fix i ever the junky

endorphin fix from twenty minutes of cold sea water is something baby

it aint nothing

man after that i sit out there and drink a coffee

i am blissed out on my own neurotonics and wow

every now and then i see a beautiful thing

winter arrives like a cold strumpet in my room

am i really in telepathic contact with some animals

or am i losing my mind?

i bought some thing sweet and i ate too much

i wish i could work harder

i think about about god and death a lot

five daughters are treasures i will bequeath for a better world

last night i listen to F/D

fuck!

i must not say too much

i’m doing a painting

i think about jesus

i think how much he would despise abbot and those guys

its so obvious

have they ever read the bits about looking after yer fellow man?

my thoughts are distracted by the model sopwith camel Chris b gave me

a book of indian tattoo i will comb through to see if i can recontextualise

a buddhist prayer deck from H Heart

i pull a card at random

people this is what it says

those whose minds are

filled with compassion

will never enter a world dark with woes.

no real harm will ever 

come to anyone who 

protects all living beings

and shows them kindness

so i love my buddha

i love my krsna

i love my jesus

i love the god of my understanding

not evolution

not jehovah creationism

i dont imagine you are ready for the totality of my god

i dont imagine for one minute i am either

but i have glimpsed

i have felt

something so fucking brilliant and so fucking compassionate

we are it

it is us

we are all one and separation is an illusion

yes but how to actualise that

i see some smarmy rich dressed up businessman type waddling along

i say to myself i love this man i love this man

some voice in my head going

like fuck you love this man..! you gotta be kidding me!

god says to me tell them this then

everything was and always will be here

our imperishable souls cannot be touched

we learning kid we learning

god says if you really want to work for me go ahead

that bass guitar of yours is a holy instrument capable of transmitting joy

with your words you can describe me forever and yet never come close

the creation of music and art

this gorgeous act of prayer and a wing

that white sheet of paper

that finger on the first note

the first word of your most achingly lovely song

let this heal those who are listening

fucking hell i have given them clues for the last 35 years

smoke some dope and listen to my music

there is sometimes something in there especially for you

you gotta wade through all those songs

but i digress

F/D will soon emerge

all will be revealed

i stake everything my judgement on this one roll

here it is

it took me until now to be able to be part of a record like this

all your preconceptions are mostly wrong

no one anticipated this

some beautiful muse guided all my actions

the band played on and on

we entered a creative realm where we mined songs from other universes

i mean how could some of this not be written before now?

familiar yet peculiar .

the record and sound has more layers that reveal and reveal

you will not be able to take it all in on first listen

you will only know that we have made one hell of a good record

soon you will begin to love it

we all stepped back and let this music in

the words were written in a secret book a strange angel gave me inner dream

how could i have written some of these couplets? where did they come from?

how did 4 musicians stumble across these lovely new but old songs

i dunno

i’m otherwise just a humble bloke in his humble room

humble except i happen to be on a roll and i know this is good

its like something that is purring along so fucking smoothly

walloping and caressing

warm and edgy

the whole record is a paradox

still i cannot explain it

i know a lot of you are dubious

i dont blame you

its hard to wait another few months before we can let it out

meanwhile

i swim

i do yoga

i hang out with my kids

i watch say lou lou and feel a deep parental pride that is surprising

because i am a cynical old bastard

i weep for ll the atrocities committed during last week

and all the atrocities that will come no doubt for the next seven days

the fucking idiots that run this stupid world

the beautiful cats like kip and JT and DR who make you have faith

the children

the future

room for every creature to live their life in peace

grant everything the mercy you would have god grant you

meanwhile F/D is gonna rocknroll your tiny world my friends

wait n see

you gonna love it or else!

empty frame of fame

all these options are driving me crazy

like some dumb stratocaster towering above me

its hearsay  the crowd used to love me alive

i was pulling it all in

i was tapped deep into the arcane shrubbery my legs all rubbery

my hands were slippered in gloves of satinate sequinned eyes of philip

in virtual miles i am taller than your house nestled into its hill

i visited the king in his exile-ish thing

hes down by the sand in a shack he built with his bear hand

the yoga and the sea did their magic on me

in fragile caves jesus saves my soul

in vast universes of blue light

the maintainer still holds back the oncoming night

in the wing or song of some bird i have heard

in a handshake in a dark place surrounded by shadows

in rushing trains and planes that shoot down lines

in the little girls heart a warm place for her dear father

alone in my room that i sit in as slumber beckons

i need nothing i have nothing i will become

in the blackness of dreams i will fly jungles and cities

old black cat inside a hollow dome

my old home away from alone

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now im in my room by the sea

mercy and happiness following me

close the door theres nothing to see

now im in my room by the sea

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i deal in spirit the heaviest element

titanium obrien

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writhing snake head of storm

the gushing wind

the burning water droplets fallen from the skys fire

the barbarian night finds me sworded

the tawdry lord of castled tower blocked shadow sun

liege lady linger in fading light

the evaporation and condensation of sweet love

arrow winged words piercing hold of desire

a stars gravity has sucked you in

you never pay because its a free fall

crumbled civilization ground down into powder

the one who screams truth is the biggest liar

god inside you think of it

yoga or magic

both have a secret agenda

suddenly you break into another realm

the morning will be a bitch but thats how it is

the night approaches in black cloaked immunity

invisibly slipping between dream sheets my etheric body

the red flash within a dark space

the heart pumps hot ichor round beyond all eyes

travelling faster than speed

hurtling out of nowhere and then gone

life in disguise

life in the canopy

life in charge

life mysterious and fragile

life as it is on earth

saturated blah

however tomorrow may come

here it is still now

the clocked toll beat understands the momentary loll

my factory mind bashed out phrases

like a bad fix on the veneer of some thunderbirded rod

the falcon swings through the eastern streets

the sky is irradiant and inflammable

i crash and burn in the leaf that spirals around in the non wind

a mention of forever quickly and forever is gone

it cannot be reached or apprehended

my beastly auto crashed the gear in the grinding traffic

we were stuck in a car with the stuff

nd someone jammed a needle on my favourite track

in the snow and wilderness of a huge graveyard outside stockholm

in a stolen car outside a factory by the train tracks

everybody arguing everybody complaining

everybody quiet in the wake of a white shot

i look out the window at an endless winter

the radio plays something faintly

there was another life somewhere else

people lived in the sun and surfed the aquatic billows

but i was sitting here forever in the stolen car

there was no movement

behind my eyes a warm universe had opened up

behind that universe

lay incredible certainty and safety

beyond the snow and the trains

it got cold in the car but we just sat there

in the softest snowflakes that melted in invisible implosion

as they came into contact

it was just before lunchtime

perhaps it was tuesday

the slow shudder of the tracks

the distant planets pulling on me since birth

head opened so help me

voice muted dampened inside your ear

intrepidly saying almost nothing

except maybe

listen!