The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

at darwin airport

sitting here waiting to fly home

have had an amazing time

played 3 gigs

one in fremantle (filmed and recorded)

one in broome

one in darwin

plus an impromptu private party gig in darwin on saturday night (solo)

the other gigs were including adrian hoffmann on guitar shaun hoffmann on drums

and 2 lovely string players rachel aquilina on violin and anna sarcich on cello

we did a wide cross section of my stuff

and it was incredible!!!

very happy camper

more later

sk

summons

if you have eyes only to see it

if things added up or went away

if music grew on leaves as if in summer

then summer leaves itself revealing autumn

the bonfires are gone

the vine slack

the line taut disappearing in the murk

the fly buzzing in and out of speakers

paspalum and clothes pegs

the families walk away from the shore

little purple towel hanging on the wire

sunday evening mauves in

the machinery halted in mid dig

new improved hotels half empty

clouds gather round the point of evening

thankful for darkening shadows

we have disappeared into history now

we enter the past via the present

soon time moves apart for us swallows us

it opens up we move forward into some time ago

existing only memory sticks to the sides

you were alone when you came in here

your face hidden in planes of grey

the solid cables groan underwater mooring us all to the floor

hardly anyone about in the dells downtown

in the groves of building and the glades of car

in the schools of helicopters swimming through sky

shall we depart then?

shall we make such preparations and plans?

and all the time the soft mouth and nightbelly

and the discarded shallow pleasure of river

rushing back up

into the mountainous height

limbed

where the black snouted night delved into hillside

a golden sun emerged tumescent and ablaze

behold a lilac lake of  blooming tree

a silver gallery of mirrored fish flash

untrammelled panelled oak soaked light of afternoon

the ritual of forest glen

the other time of men

now evensong is calling

vespers sung by lifes own hum

roaming through these star cracked places in new lothian

yes and my companions sloth and the crazed blackberry girl

my rubiest dreams of opalmarine

my sentient thoughts go running abreast in fields of teetering amethyst

the trappings of a despotic tyrant with my entitled free mantle

i explode in hyper semantic priming that pumped up jumped up mind machine

mind machine throwing it all together as quick as this

electrons interpenetrating  the very wall

we hear that old future call

flash bang wallop

we were living forever

in some strange city

in some strange day that stretched on and out

somebody talking in labyrinthian chambers

somebody framed against the pale sky at dawn

somebody walking down gardened roads in quiet time slowly

somebody else i suppose was following close

reality warped in memory though

some sanctuary

there was or there must have been that

where did we hide from wolves and jackal men then?

the mind is a mystery

it cannot fathom itself

it cannot dive deep into its ocean and find all the monsters

it cannot sort out the voices and lives it contains

it cannot map the forces which have come down to bear on it

it cannot always tell sweet truth from brute lie

harnessed to anxiety

goaded by pride

and hammered by doubt

(what the fuck am i saying?)

it apprehends the world a dim thing

immured to beauty

immersed in merciless acts

wickedness breeds in the swamps of imagination

like lust for money like avarice for flesh

like need to see hurt and taste blood

the mind of human cannot understand the mind of animal

the mind of human cannot understand the mind of god

we are neither one thing nor the other

or maybe in transition

try explaining abattoirs to the aliens

see if they can buy into it

the gods and the aliens with their prints all over me

moulding me holding me telling me what to say

even if i am mad and my mind is now gone

something still out there tells me what to say

and how i should say it…

i wonder who that is?

i wonder who  else is in my mind

i wonder how all this came to be here

working so well (except for some men)

i wonder why things are so hard for some

so easy for others

and others who dont even know theyre  playing a game

at first it can seem like all beer and skittles

then snakes n ladders n then i dont know

but youve been dicing with death all along

and must have realised that

when they began the last song

all man is dark and deceitful

dismality

pulled hither and wither by the winds of opportunity

his senses all confused

his eyes and ears fail him

the familiar suddenly strange

in the moment that went that he was in

the darkness of fear and stupidity

his own furtive shorting mind

the sludge of a million years

the attributes of beasts and stone

between the selves a thin brittle veneer

cracked and strained and crumbled and shattered

in narcissistic holes that take you down

the shell shock terrain of fried brain

nothing numbing it now

it calls out for something in the blackness

it calls out for something to distract it from itself

it cries incessantly like a kid driving you mad

it taps on your door as youre falling asleep

waking up there is no one there

unknown unto themselves everyone else sleeps

the unfeeling rain belts down outside

miasma of damp and mildew and rust

the night has little pity for anything

it is only the absence of sunlight after all

all regrets and no remorse the night and its crocodile tears

only a fool can know these things he must be mad to think it

a man is undone by himself and usually no one else comes close

a man is just a man

no justice man

only karma which remains inexorable

and hidden

bib is honest as the day is long

bib pectin here (obviously you idiots!)

i was doing a corporate gig for the laboral party the other night

when approached by two of the top geezas

vis a vis my availability to run for the seat of Chiselling in sydneys western beaches

i was not surprised at their approaches actually

because any nong can be PM these days

its not like the old days when they had all those serious old grandad types as PMs

man thats not gonna getcha any fricking votes

down the local primary school on polling day izzit?

i reckon just about any old body could get that gig these days

and thats where i come in

except for some arrests for drugs violence and fraud

well i’m pretty fuckin’ clean

i paid my debt to society

working off parking fines being a standby lifesaver at sydneys most glamourous beach

stuff like that

mentoring kids with rich impressionable parents hell yes i have

for a modest fee plus gee ess tee (enquire pectin@mentor.org)

i play golf with jim olgivie-crumm the minister for miscellaneous things

you know

he often has remarked

“bib you should deffo check out canberra as a fulltime gig

you know how much these dicknosed twits get paid?

they are so average and totally fucking hopeless bib…

man youd fit right in!”

i stared at the minister with his great tan R M Williams jeans

“but what can i do in canberra ?” i dared to ask

and then…

well then he made me see it

the fucking lurks the beautiful perks

the pensions baby the staff the cars the PDs

the lodges the apartments the appointments ….

“yes i want in!” i told him

of course..!

“you mean these cats goin’ getting paid forever

even when the gig is over and finished?”

“thats right. till the end of our lives baby!”

“but who fucking allowed that?” i barked in my usual astonishment

“ha ha” says the minister “ha ha ha ha ha ”

so anyway

i want to say this

all that stuff about me in stripclubs n escort agencies

i tell you that is the oppositions fabrication i promise you

maybe it was my evil twin dub pectin who occasionally turns up

wreaks havoc and then slips back into the shadows ie ( ie adelaide)

maybe he has been hired by the greens reds and white shoe brigade coalition…

probably it was him who nobbled that horse

in that race i got all that investment back from….

and he ran a speed lab n lube shop up in qld…not me!

my charity work has kept me off the streets!

my own pectin foundation sending valuable assets offshore to tax havens

(for everybodys sake)

my work with the developers is amazing

we’ve had all those “picturesque ” cottages knocked down

and had some lovely concrete edifices chucked up down by the seaside

no more beach sunburn its permanently in the shade now

so please dont call me un-civic minded

after a bit of consideration i have decided to close down a few hospitals

a few old peoples homes and a few kindergartens

quite frankly they dont generate much income and are kinda depressing

i am going to bulldoze a library over in Chiselling (the new seat, remember)

to build my new offices and a projected mobile phone museum

my offices will be modest and yet sumptuous

no expense will be spared although i hope to bring it in under budget

you do not want your elected representative in some shoddy workplace!

i will be hiring some attractive women to “man” the desks

nothings worse than a tiresome bint of a secretary looking boring

also looking for a chauffeur to drive me jam-jar

(a good working knowledge of kings cross and st kilda a definite advantage!)

also looking for attractive travel companions

i am undertaking research in the bahamas and in switzerland

(on behalf of my electorate)

as for sorting out yer legislation

ive passed over a few bills i can tell you

to all kinds of people for all kinds of things

improving your infrastructure and stuff

you may not even notice how i’m out here tweaking the old parameters

another study was so successful it will never be published i expect

i have attended meetings many meetings

the ones the court ordered me to attend

and other meetings besides

how we have spied on you to protect your freedoms

how we pay ourselves exorbitantly just so we dont defect to private industry

and thanks for my campaign dosh Harvey Bishop  Whitegoods sales n service

it looks easy but it isnt easy

my name is pectin

i am your political future

i will govern you and sort you out properly

i swear on this frickin’ holy bible in spades and for sure

a vote for pectin is a vote for jesus and safeguarding our personal wealth

i will defend you i will work for you

i will make you all rich

and if any of you hurts yourself

I WILL COME OVER AND HANG OUT FOR A WHILE N KISS IT BETTER!

no matter what time

no matter what place

i beg you nay i command you

VOTE 1 Pectin B

triumph herald the angels sing

write something nice

the gallery demanded

so i searched through the storm for the usual debris

give us an ‘ero

give us a villain

give us a bit o’ the ole one-two-three

well the hero is everyman

the villain is no one

no one that is if it isnt me

and everyman here

who arrived with his angel

everyman who watcheth us all on teevee

the strings in crescendo

that tug at your harness

the clever words have made you quite dumb

the jury appears

thinking you witless

they summon some clown who never can come

sooth my apparel is vulgar and tasteless

then my demeanour is thunder by thumb

in linked sequences of arabesque dancers

the same old shriek and cackle wind scum

they swerve off

to their side of the dessert

the jerk off at the soda numb

the storm strides over the

sea like a titan

the storm moves through the thieves in the night

in permanent dwellings of memory dreams

with bob in Tamarama all white

with delicate chains our bodies constrain us

until you know one day they just snap

and off you go to the wildest blue yonder

yeah

or something like that

RIP bob 1954 2013

bwiti boy go boy

i am not like you

you are something else

something else quite wild and free

free your thoughts roam under the open air

there is so much more to life

than they would have you believe

everything is love and love is everything

hate cannot create a lasting state of grace

hate will seize us maybe frees us for a while

but i have seen some kingdom in a dream

something so sweet beyond nectar or honey

walking and talking in those dusks of eternity

away from these husks of humanity

away from the killing ray i go today

the breath is a spirit

incessant rain i go down to cold pools

swim in milky incandescent water emerge renewable

under plunges and lunges i realise who i am

the dripping weeds sodden and trodden down

cactuses in gardens thorns in teardrop

my shoes slosh slosh slosh

still underwater i breathe through my port jackson gills

my wings propel me through green lanes and rushing heron

my lovely bubble never pierced by even the mightiest ocean

i jetstream the grey morning

until my breakfast of rice milk and coconut juice

i am bequeathed today by the late yesterday

it said if you enjoy people

heres a whole packet dont scoff it!

under the pacific sea it feels more like tomorrow though

and maybe everything has changed under the waves

its so cold i’m burning

i get dressed shivering a song

i pull on my clothes dumbly all wrong

my shoes on my eyes i walk into the rain

the puddles all call out my name

and some drain gurgles a dim refrain

and when the first drop hits my new mouth who tastes it

the second drop fell on my heart who would waste it

the third drop fell in a deep black well

wherever it was who could even tell me a story about it

so sorrowfully  watch the sea swans don their night flight in black

hands still in swirling water something tugs memory like the tide

feeble hopes all bleached out on a grey day like today

the dismal surf churning without form

at home the eels feel their way around my heels

it doesnt matter i am not this body

someone a long way away says something i suppose

it has nothing to do with this

but i keep hearing distant words as though they are some clue

what should i do?

i sit under green ceilings as a blue fire raws

my suit  once cold and wet now marvellously dry

my my oxygen you cant see it or hear it

my jacket of fish hovering closer in currents of coldness

here in australia june has come freezing

my breath is the spirit of steam in an angel

i exhale miraculous creatures in sighs of vision

the world is alive pulsating with meanings

everything comes in through ions of everything

be prepared to be a maze in a puzzle

all the pieces are shifting

in diamonds all the players are sequenced by folly

in spades all ignitions and permissions enacted

in clubs sentinels of reality seem to walk off the gig

in hearts i understand nothing except thats its big

wow! says some cat who really can dig it

hes figured the whole thing out no doubt

down to every digit

and the numbers and notes and the words and the shows

all going round in a whirlpool you know how that goes

i gotta a genie in fathoms of delight with no close on

my opiated days are only the real comparison

in dream after dream in song after song

the summoning purr of machine that hums on

the whine of long distance line is mine to align

down to every last fragment of sand and its handsome shore

we all want more

oh baby

we all want more

heavenly hands guide my horns

you arrive at a party later

behind each door a beast inner room

as you alight from a car as light as a starburn

alight lightly like flame on wood

you the hammer on the subconscious gate

oh lemme in lemme in bang bang bang!

inadvertently insulting every guest

romeo crashes on his earth as poison curdles

the …what are those flowers called….?

they all pop headed in the winterbeam

you choose something else

triple impulsive deepening enveloping

you trip along incompleting man

your sense something whispers in your ear

that unlucky black cat is wagging his tail

all down the line the great comets will fall

on cities and dungeons that should ever lie in ruins

the words that come through me come true for me

the things i am told to say not withdrawn

you on the other hand are left

the foyer of dreams is a dreary place

when you know you wake up with the shakes

the sky open above it

the bomb shelters underneath it

the wind whistles through other years no one hears

yes when you wake up in your hotel by the sea

i will be faraway out of my tree

impelling this dust to form features on paper i call paintings

i cry a nightmare of mistakes

i breathe life into crayon kings in black coeur du roy

i whiten the smiles of misshapen goddess but still love beyond

the endorsement comes with its silky price

the wandering murmuring river of mirror flowing into your room

the frightening thought that you might be a fool

when all of your money is gone from your pockets and drawers

when the wondering paused at the top of the stairs

like a side of your hide out the other side hidden

forgetful in a trance you try some lame dance

astonishment rather than delight the audience reward you with bored boos

adjacent weather inclementing fever

the swamps of our city beckon like green mouths in the night

i cruise with a platoon of macaroons and a sip of star sop operetta

you tattered beat on your feet crushing the meek

i break everytime i hear your sacred names off my dial

you cursive dog ear rogue you scoundrel joe blow it all away

merry chrissmas you hawkhead you train enjoy your jamboree

the metal has melted or peeled away the years

where they bluffed time off your face

that place above the ocean where the highrise meets the shadows

i’ll be drinking a virgins martini and frivolously tearing wings off turns

you’ll be swerving the diamond illusion re-presenting itself as swami frickin’ love

alone in desert after desert you fall for that shebang

that shibboleth you dig so much from groovy kensington

jesus all the nails you did in amsterdam hook line and simper

yeah you whimpered when the hooker not a bad looker

but you shouldnt booker

at the ends of both earths why did you bother to ask her out?

doubt and misfortune cast their tar and resinous rays

you might laugh at this film of tears they screen twice weekly

we cry in the stalls when the hero gets taken off

you scoffed and laughed and suddenly the staff appear

shining a torch the scorching beams penetrate our every I

when it eventually stops the cops have arrived

they manhandle the us men on easy street like two bears

i didnt think itd be perfect

but

whatever it fuckin’ was

it wasnt worth it