The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

spectral gate

galaxy shoes says aurora

man i’d love to get me some of them galaxy shoes

galaxy shoes says scarlet  emphatically from behind

galaxy shoes says a chorus of voices

oh yeah those galaxy shoes

behind the wheel i’m driving my hard bargain

we travel over brook and stream

we see an eel under an old tree

we traverse sydney

day after australia day

summer after summer

suntan on suntan

evenings beheld in deepest delight

the quickening trees withhold a rustle ‘pon approach

the warmest nights down by the shore

the translucent sea becomes thee

i command this night to bring forth its fruit

some strange bloke n his bit of fluff

some shop we wander into

emerging clutching parcels years later

well we skid along under these neon beach lights

where the parking police have been trained in some remote desert camp

their hard hearts do not break so easily

but never mind it is tomorrow bondi will awake

the surfers are having hot showers and feeling the extreme endorphin hit

the restaurants fling open their doors

we have pizza joints n ice cream parlours

we characters in a background

patina of humanity

good guys turning into bad guys

bad guys getting worse

until sudden sainthoods conferred by accident in some kings cross bar

the market in darkness in the square

the trinkets and hats and bikinis and silver

woman with dreadlocks has been here forever

do yoga down by the shore while scarlet plays in the sand and rocks

dad whats under the sand …? she asks

then before i can answer

more sea i suppose…. she says dreamily

we walk back up the hill to the parade with imported mexican palms

i hope the old spirit don’t get lost

boy

i’d love some of them galaxy shoes

good onya mate

the lucky country.
i love australia
i am not an australian i am an englishman
but i love it here
i am aware of this countrys ugly beginnings
we all struggle to redress the imbalance
we struggle with our white collective guilty conscience
our english ancestors (and the spanish and french etc)
sailed round this world with their alcohol, christianity and their syphilis and their cannons and they took every place they came across
that was the way things were done
yet we were no less harsh to ourselves
look at the first fleet full of miserable convicts
it was the way things were done back then
we cannot alter it
the native australians needs and desires must be acknowledged
our australia day is their invasion day…it is so very true…
my dear friend kev carmody has told me of the horrors perpetrated on his family when his mother tried to hide him and his brother from the authorities who came to take them away at the end of the holidays each year. can you believe that they took kids away from their mums to reculturalise them? on the album we did together is a photo of kev bleeding and battered after 3 racists broke into his home…just to mistreat him…”they never even stole anything” said the bewildered man…and then later the warm mushy glow of seeing australias finest and most famous white singers interpreting this modest gentlemans songs….we need reconciliation…whatever that is..i dunno exactly…but i sure as hell want it….!
meanwhile the others are here to stay …the second lot of australians …and the third and fourth lot…..and most of us are kinda nice people….yeah laconic slightly lazy you might say in the rest of the world
we dont take things TOO seriously
we like to just relax
the weathers nice especially in sydney
melbourne is a groovy city
brisbane is all grown up and very savvy
perth and freo are gorgeous
the coastline is astounding
the interior is mysterious…its not for everyone
i need the sea so i have to stay here
i feel trapped away from the sea
i will pay the high rents to be beside it
without the sea i might as well die
our life in australia is mostly pleasant
our 2 political parties arent really that much different
everything here is less extreme
i pity the americans and their gun laws
whatever the constitution says
they didnt have fucking automatic machine guns back then
if people are dying its a bad and stupid thing
there arent so many guns here
things are more easy going
i have dealt with all kindsa policemen n customs men all round the world
i have found the australians to be more human as far as possible
more realistic more trying to sort it out
more tolerant
the schools are good too
at least my 3 kids here have been loving their school
everything feels relatively sane
i use the word relatively and i emphasise that
relatively sane
we are not quite so impressed with stuff just because someone in hollywood or paris or london says so
we make up our own minds
new zealanders are like that too only in spades…
i love australia but there is no dumb patriotism involved in my love
i have lived all over the place but i always will come back
bondi beach is bloody amazing
i am a lucky cat to live here
you can be whoever you like and nobody gives a damn
you can be hugh jackman or a nutty ninny
you can be keanu reeves or a geezer selling sunglasses
no one here gonna make a fuss
we got brazilians we got italians
we got russians n south africans
we got jewish we got moslem we got christian
we got sun worshippers and yoga freaks
we got families we got visitors
we gotta million swedes passing thru who will never stay
because sweden has its own sanity
but its not our easy going “she’ll be right, mate…”
i like australian culture
i like our actors our films our music our art
i like our lesser fixation on celebrity unlike some of our anglo brothers.
australia canada new zealand united states and the british isles are in perpetual brotherhood as springing from the same place and all retain a deep sense of kinship within these countries. the griefs of the other countries in this anglo kind of unspoken union weigh heavier upon us and so too do each others triumphs make us lighter
i could never foresee a time ultimately when these countries would ever forsake each other. i acknowledge the great things each country brings forth …and i shudder when they get it wrong…..
the beautiful countries of europe i love them too
especially italy which has delivered so much beauty and cruelty to this world too
and spain for its strengths and austerities
germany for its all its precision and its beautiful countryside
anyway even considering everything
australia is just a very easy place to live
we should be appreciative here
let us be involved in no more wars tho except of direst necessity
let us evolve in our attitudes towards all living creatures
let us lead the way in vegetarian and vegan eating
america will be conquered by fast food not an enemy
thats whats killing them over there
not lil kim jong or any persians its KFC and macdonalds
australia is facing the same fate
people eschew fast food!
people exercise people do yoga
people make music people make art
be nice to each other ….just how youd want it yerself
me…?
i am a grateful old pommy bastard
grateful my mum n dad migrated here
grateful for an easy going australian way of life
grateful for having had a good run here
grateful for the breaks i got etc etc ad tedium
therefore i wish you a happy australian day you gooseballs everywhere
we should be happy
we should be thankful
we should be nice to each other
there are much worse places to be my friends
sk bondi beach aust fucking day 2012

opportunity nocked

i wake one day and bondi is deserted

the people have all gone home

a hammock swings empty in the greenery

the ferns and cactuses

the colourful pots and vases

the paved courtyards are silent

oh the gentle rain

enriching soothing calming

the pool is warm

i plunge into the salty brew

the bottom of the pool is lined with seaweed

and waves crash over the side slapping me about

today a rare energy fills me

i kick through the dim warm green water

the waves come down and i escape  by diving under

the blessed quiet underwater

the healing power of this immense ocean

the holiness of the pure and simple things

in the sauna an old ukrainian guy tells me about his sauna hat

instead of listening i drift away on his marvellous accent

the melody of his speech suggests kiev and great forests

coming home i encounter hardly anyone

some good news i am moving into a nice  apartment soon

i will have a wonderful view up in the trees

this will inspire me to pour forth more creation isms

i have never lived anywhere as nice as this before in some ways

i am inspired to create some things that will be good

i am solving art conundrums by the easel load

i am sorting out music like it was my first language

i am understanding music on more levels more deeply

it is coming to me so easily

after this long apprenticeship a brief period as a master craftsman

saraswati favours me for the while

all art is from god

all art ultimately should be dedicated to god

it should contain or touch upon god

or even upon his perceived absence

god is afoot god is a mile

god is a warm grey day

the kind of god and day i like

i think i am content and happy just at this moment

the cool summer seabreeze the constant drizzle

the trees drip drip drip

i am detached and pleasantly so

warm grey day turns into cool black night

i look at a picture of kate mitchell and me that sits on my desk

i send my prayers to craig and the girls

i hope they are doing ok

i wish she was out there tonight

this world can be a real hell quite often

bad things happen

mission calls it a clusterfuck

i am grateful for this moments respite

a brief pocket of time in equilibrium

it is truly appreciated

morocco 1910

sam famine here i am

a private dick

a ladies man

i swear on these spheres that spin in space

i swear by the truth in every liar

never the shot without the fire

who let the lamb in…?

not sam famine

deals a’poppin’ in his car

wonder how he got that scar

wonder how he got this far

yeah

sam famine

infra red ultra marine

the blinds are busted

they knock against the sills in the breezes

well i went and waited for you  by the steps

where the fishermen and pelicans stand on the rocks

the sea wholly mackerel and whiting it out

descending in whirling schools like japanese waves

the swirling waters eddy and spasm

the clouds come right down and threaten

and a chill blows across the droplets of sweat

the green neon bar is pulsating thru bleary window

down by the sea shore i still hear its muffled beat

i exist by cockle shell and rock pool glow

a solitary black point in the faint light

me and some dog that followed me here

in the darkness i cant quite tell what it is

i hear it breathe in the foggy brain night

i see its shapes as it slinking along

the night has its names

but all mixed up all of them strange

the night reminds me of some subservient courtier

eager to please and swift nonetheless

already eleven o’clock

you check the screen for verication

scrolling down the lists of your lives

auditioning your various voices

you move within one frame to another

now youre one thing

now youre other

little fish

in the river

live a long life!

within the house of perpetual night

a wild and hungry evening

the people swarmed to the bars and restaurants

the phosphorescent  sea glimmered out there

no master could have captured its atmosphere

a boats lights bob in warm pinkness against the inky horizon

a breeze comes raking across the sea fresh from barbary

the elephant palms planted by queen Encelon

the tree lined boulevards lead to a lovely harbour

the people are affluent

the lamps in the houses are orange and red

where am i ?

lost in the breathless festival crowds

suddenly overcome by all the noise

then plunged into silence except for distant cars

the white noise of crashing waves upon our shores

the moon seems to moan

even the stars give off a slight sizzling sound

this summer of mans final times

a boat leaves for antioch

a ceremony to invoke a god with no name

prisoner in a cell who committed no crime

the arrival of love in the shape of a faun

always a summer though

the light through the trees

the nights were so warm the air was so dense

interwoven and bound in every sense

my holiday blurred through eyes of a boy

this night air is a miraculous cure for all ills

Encelon herself now sits in her arbour

surrounded by lodestones and pearls and in carnations

surrounded by paintings done by the masters

paintings of knights in lagoons and great muscled swans

paintings of heavenly visioned night encased within gold

dragged across unctuous membranes of silver

a faint electricity then follows the coils

Encelon in the warmth of her royal barbarian garden

reading her cards and drinking her tea

and the gardener who snips away at her hedges

and the cook who slaves away at her pie

and the riders who deliver her secret instructions

and the drivers who whisk her away to her sea

with all of that yet she cannot resist night

night has enveloped her favour in dark

night in the house of deep sleeping children

where summer co-ordinates their faded out dreams

summer and night go hand in hand

along marine avenue that leads to the boats

the water doth glitter and weave in its current

its easy to believe  some giant is under the sea

a worm from earths old days before its first rapture

a worm that swam in the depths of some sea

a huge black cold thing that knows all our names

it swims in the darkness of 5 thousand leagues

with every fathom it senses our coming

it smells all our souls from worlds away

but Encelon smiles in her garden of summer

the night reminds her of times long gone by

of dreams and of lovers who all run aground

before the reef of morning has loomed

the leaves outside her bedroom when she was a child

at night in summer they seemed to exult in these sea breezes

the night promised so much it could never deliver

each fool that believes it finds sorrow and blues

the night is a mercy on us shadowed in pain

but a night without sleep is an agony unequalled

you claw at its back but slumber is a beast

Encelon has spooked sleep with her trances and trinkets

in her sprawling mansion on top of the hill

she paces the floors until after the dawn

she sits by the fireplace all cold old and black

she watches the sun leap out of her sea

and me

i sit in this room

i paint and i write

i try my hand at a tune if i might

its quiet tonight

my own dear sleep beckons

i heed his heavy steps within my head

soon

then

i hit bed

i enter the great caravan park in disguise

i lay before you ladies and gentlemen

iridescent summer in iridescent pastel

the tents of yesteryears crammed full of memory

my australian idyllic place where i hide

there is no such place

it was once before me

it is now clearly behind me

the sea meets the carnival nights

all those kids coming out with their mums and dads

i saw a kid called vickers in a red shirt and long white pants

i was shocked at how grown up he looked

the carousel throbbing in my head

i kissed a girl from a catholic school

i swam in the sea pool alone in the night under a lonely light

this was my summer to claim or to blame

i owned that summer in the city by the sea smile

it was my summer everyone could have probably seen that

i was speeding in my fathers white cars

speeding through the naked streets behind the towns

speeding in the long lanes of shadow thrown by the sea towers

i was crashing in darkness in cinemas on stuffy airless nights

we fidgeted through god save the queen

but i digress it was a long time ago

now that i wander in summer my self

my new self my good self somewhat improved

the smell of that old suntan lotion in the distance i grant you

the sky is brighter though and more overbearing

its blueness threatens to burst in the sky

then afternoons move into fog and latitudes of softest warmest rain

as sweet as scarlets murmured kisses she says daddy i love you

or maybe it was the windows catching in the wind

but there is no wind

the summer night is still

pregnant perhaps with tomorrow

a summer day complete with the losers n champs

the beer will flow the children will wait

the mowing of a lawn

the hammer far away

theres a pool in that backyard darling

just on your tiptoes there can you see it

yes i see it oh its beautiful

summer is my thing look i can sell it back to you

my summer is in word and paint and song

my summer last all year long

my summer of  strange colour

my summer of sand in the bed

my summer of drama my summer of pine trees

my forest of summer at the back of the yard

the mosquito bites are starting to itch

my freckly skin gone a bit pink in the sun

this rockpool  has a clue for me

its indecipherable but still its a clue

in the backstreets of another bondi arm in arm

the summer people evaporate at my whim

i cast a storm upon the busy streets

but still the rain is soft

softer than anything else in this world

summer isnt fun when everyone you knew is gone

hang around in the market

i buy a shirt i never wear

the guy seemed so nice and i couldnt say no

he told me so much about the shirt

it would have been churlish not to buy it

it hangs in the wardrobe accusingly i sometimes think

i wonder if i should wear it

i try it on and it looks stupid

but in my summer of summers where all the boardshorts fit perfectly

the lights have changed and the baby rain has slowed to a mild fuzz

i’m having a milkshake in a cafe somewhere there

chatting up a couple of girls staying just over the bridge

and one of ems nice and one of ems not

the nice one says something nice

the not nice one saying something not nice

in bewilderment i turn on her quickly and rude

i say something quite nasty and stupid

and both of you stand of up and get ready to leave

you really are as bad as my friend makes you out

i sit in my summer alone but its nice

i mean my heart is wounded so it listens to songs on the jukebox

songs about guys with broken hearts just like mine

and i find a sense of sweetness and purpose

and a sense of necessity in all of those songs

those songs that some guy wrote for some woman

and she goes and leaves him or dies from OD

those songs about the loneliness of empty rooms

an empty old bed as the summer sun waves goodnight

in my summer of love love is elusive

in my summer of youth i imagined them up

summer of mercy

summer of mornings

summer of evenings ripped from a film

summer of heat summer of pain

summer of upheaval summer of null

crystallised summer in packets of lollies

i bid you all now sweet summer dreams

my head is so heavy

the night is forgiving

let it go on forever

forever and ever

amen

the picture is gone

let these words exist in darkness

let these words explode in some strangers head

someone i aint ever met

i dont write truth i dont write lies

i have everything yet nothing to tell you

a story as common as any old yarn if you please

why the author is already bored with retelling it

the usual conflicts the usual resolutions

the confused pawns moved by a distant hand

the sun and moon have exchanged positions again

the tide goes in and out

i come to grips with slipperiness

i contain the idea that detachment can be achieved violently

fresh treachery in every gesture

could one really be a hero in this novel no ones reading

the players are not fixed they drift in and out of mind

it seems no one knows why anything happens

it seems ive woken from a dream

but the other dreamers scream out

go back to sleep

there is no reason for all this thrashing around

the pointlessness of it all needs not be pointed out

we’re all just children no more helpless

we dont think to think

i am coming up against spirit

i am coming up against power

if you proceed against spirit and power you will fail

one leads to the other

deep foundations in some other eternity

intelligence alone is baffling bewildering

every genius an idiot but never vice versa i assure you

none of the best stuff comes from just us

with the invisible source gone from the equation

the figures can never reconcile themselves

overlooking the obvious well it happens all the time

ive found bad luck rubs off on whole planets

ive seen a jinx last ten thousand years

they dont have time to empty the traps

before we’re filling em up with our bodies again

here comes a guillotine here comes a plague

here comes a genetically modified germ

now i have the cure it will cost you 10 k

now i have a chip we should all wear in our heads

we can track each others movements thru lives

i have a screen all the children should watch

and once theyre hooked they will never slip off

i have a way of protecting you all

but first you must tell me your pins and your codes

i have a rock by the side of this ocean

i sit and i think of the fucknuckle idiots

the ones who keep on ruining my lives

just when i was sorting it out

another clown goes and another arrives

like a merciful king i send them all into exile

then one day i awake on my throne all alone

the night has receded like a black soothing sea

leaving me here just thrashing around

warm glow increases fractious display

i the telegraphic son of whom it is said : nothing

in sides the war-locked city spire

worked with water  lathed by puma clawed antelope wing

i am bounced between juxtaposed states

strange envelopes something hopes me to enter

off centre the squares line up against my stars

i perish in some menagerie gored by memphis horns

the wildnesses where i must interpret small hints

printed in elvish the passports of leaves

sometimes the great artist forgets a stray flourish

sometimes a spider may release a fly

sometimes the king can sing of these things

often the earth often the sky

but sometimes the lonely eye

then summon the women bearing the liquors

and bring on the girls all fruitful and kind

and send up a litre of yer finest nepenthe

perhaps i need to get right out of this mined

turk coys

music came into being

we stood in the garden

a vast sunset at dawn

we listened as she sang

black as raven voice of comet

milk of kindness

web of doubt

i knew then i had to sing that song forever

my fingers grew into keys which unlocked the notes

the notes were louder than silk yet softer than sun

the moon seemed all flute

i moved her one bar to the east

darling piano i tramp on your pedals

you resonate on and unto the aether

what song did our mother sing on that morning ?

what song did our sister welcome the night ?

what song did our daughter ask to be born ?

what song did all people enter the grave ?

then i stepped up to play

but my voice was all distant

like somebody else from so long ago

its never the same no matter how often it happens

so get on that stage and on with the show