The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

morning fiendss
yep
im in spain
im in bilbao
on the north atlantic coast
lovely little hotel
full of art for arts sake
great room
al mod cons
makes the columbia hotel in london
seem like a prison
this is my home for a few days
and im happy to be here
i feel moreorless neutral towards spain
it aint on my a list like switzerland, holland, hungary,italia
but it aint on my z list like you know where
(the states, france, blighty)
its on my neutral list,
along with germany and belgium and i dunno
as if these countries give a toss what ole sk thinks
so here we are
marty in his element speaking spanish
(i dont like that lisping much tho……)
hello to
manfred u
a lovely german hippy
hello to johnny garret
hello to denise
hello to jaime r
hello to d and t that i met in sydney at the winebank
amanda princess, my greek friend
in melby
hello to nicky s in dublin
to donald b in melby…hows my jack frost videos going
to my friend and brother the mud man
to the guys in colourado
to holly j, my arty mannyger
to gee none, my poetry coordinater
to all the rest
rikki m
belfy
nicky l in putney
(druid, that cd HIT THE FUCKING SPOT)
to boy d, i love ya
ya wifes lovely
and yer son is twice as handsome as you
to altres, my saviour
all the rest of ya
im so in love with you all

i pay my obeisances to vishnu
the most glorious gorgeous magnificent one
he who lets our eyes see
and our ears hear
who makes everything happen in its own goode time
someone wrote in yesterday
why vishnu
why krishna
cant my god be nameless…?
yes he can
god is so kind
he will come to you no matter
my wife n my mother n my brothers call me steven
my friends call me steve
the guys in the groop call me killer
my doodles call me daddy
sometimes the twillies call me papa
the guy in the bank calls me mr kilbey
a guy on a bus might call me sir or mate or hey you
i’ll fucking answer to any of those names
if you need me, if you wanna talk to me
but
like
people
i been searching since i was born
ive dabbled in the lot
drugs, magic, christianity
new age
nlp,alp
i read the koran
i read the bible
i read the pali sutras of buddha
but
for me
the sublime thinking mans way
is bhakti yoga
devotion to god
to krishna
to vishnu
if i was god
id sure appear to humanity as vishnu
but my wife is a devotee of ganesha
the elephant god
we got more statues of old jumbo in our house
than ya can shake a wand at
for her she speaks to lord ganesha
and he answers
the hindus say vishnu has one thousand names
such are his attributes
on the battlefield of the mahabharata
arjuna implores krishna to reveal himself
in his universal form
krishna obliges his friend and devotee
but the sight is more than he can stand
so terrible and inexorably beautiful it is
“i saw whole universes being swallowed up in your mouths”
he begs krishna to return back to his human form
it was all too much
we have personalities and form
god can be formless, huge
a raging electrical void
but its hard for us to have a relationship with that
god is our father
fathers have personalities
god takes on the personality his devotee wishes
god can be your friend
your parent
your child
your lover
dont put limitations on it
vishnu/krishna was the one who came to me
when i hit that bottom
i know
but then again thats how i approached him
if you call for jesus
or shiva
or some goddess
if you call sincerely and needfully
im sure they will appear in these forms
in fact
it occurred to me
when vishnu did come to me that time
that it was more like
that i removed the barrier keeping him out
like taking a seal off something
it was me keeping him out
he was all around
but i was shutting him out
he will flow if you remove the barrier
of course as they say in narnia
aslan aint a TAME lion
meaning god aint at yer beck n call
you gotta mean it
you gotta work at it
i been up for three hours
bathing, purifying my body
chi gong
yoga
meditation
practising this art of communing with god
you think i could play bass n write songs
without years of practice
everything needs practice
you gotta work long n hard
marty speaks fuckin fluent spanish
i dunno a word
but he put those long hours in years ago
i didnt
i cant complain if i didnt do any work
atheism is a bit like that
you dont get results outta nothing
you have to figure it all out
i told ya
after 26 years in this groop
im only just beginning to sing
thats a lotta practice
how much harder if ya wanna walk n talk with jesus
nothing here comes easy…just like that
so i say to ya
read the gita
do some yoga
still your mind
then
and only then
if ya get no results
write back and tell me im jiving ya
proofs in the pudding baybee
you gotta do the homework (unfortunately)
a sublime bit of hindu philosophy
a master and a pupil
“master where does god reside”
the master says
“go to that yonder fig tree and pluck its fruit”
the pupil does so
“now cut the fruit open..what do ya see”
“i see these tiny black seeds”
“now crack a seed open what do ya see now?”
“master, there is nothing there”
ah says the master
that
that nothing
is the power behind everything.
its huge
its infintessimally tiny
its everywhere
its nowhere
get yer head round the paradoxes
you have to
this western world says
things are a or b
eastern world says things are both a and b and yet neither
when i 1st wanted to play bass n sing
i had to learn to deal with that little tiny paradox
my brains going whoah boy
i cant do both these things
i can only do one or the other..
i had to learn a way to do both
now its so easy for me its hard to imagine
a time i couldnt do it
i had to straighten out my brain
who was the “i” straightening out my brain
ah
that was the self
the one self
the same self
in every one of us
in the rocks
in the trees
in the aquatics
i guess even in some motherfucking idiot like georgie bush
there is that one self
that simply knows
how to do everything
the trick
to shut up yer mind
that dont know hardly anythin’
so you can hear the subtle message of the self
so thats why
i work on myself 2 or 3 hours a day
so the self
the brahman
the vishnu in my heart
can be heard
can whisper its knowledge
to my lumpen brain n body
cos i wanna hear that voice
i dont fucking care bout the world cup
(the beautiful game…HA!!)
i dont care bout the pop charts
wall street index
the bad n mediocre reviews ultc is getting
by people who obviously didnae listen
i dont care about yer gossip rags
or bread pitts new diet
or prince harrys new abortion
or whatever
i just wanna hear that sweet voice
we all have inside us
if you were at the borderline
you witnessed the result of my hard work
at rehabilitating my lazy middleaged puffy slob
that i was
into what im trying to become
its a work in progress
for 52 years
i aint even half a % there yet
im still arrogant angry revengeful
lustful greedy etc etc
(insert yer own most loathesome sk quality here)
but im gonna keep on trying
one of the side effects of this process
will be my songs n singing getting better n better
the happiness of my band
the communication with y’all
i thought the cchhur was MY band
nope
its all our band now
im just in control
but im trying to take on all yer dearest expectations
n actualise em for ya
a huge gig, my fiendss
i wont let ya down
our next album will be better
the next after that better still
i will be getting older AND better
till i drop off my perch
i am committed to you
i am committed to creating beautiful pop music
(to answer fandorins question)
i only realised that in the last 4 years
the guy before that wasnt me
he was a half me
not trying
not caring
tossing off the goode with the badde
but no longer
im gonna give ya the best of my love
you will be able to depend on it
i have surrounded myselves with players n producers
the calibre of tp, mwp, pk
simon pollywaffle
jeffy caino
mr kennedy
g bennie
im gonna give ya some goode stuff before i go
and i aint planning on goin anywhere fer a while

anyway that leaves me here
in bilbao
in a little hotel by the river
mountains all around
spaniards in the works
gigs to do
interviews to bullshit my way thru
people to meet
skies to see
gods to adore
im so excited by it all
the wonder of it all, baybee
its great being sk
i used to hate it
i hadda spend 500 bucks a day on smack
to get away from myself
now it aint so badde
i put in the hard yards
i beginning to see a light at the end o the tunnel
yes i still get angry when i lose my bologg
after typing it to ya for 2 fucking hours
yes i still have a million faults
very few virtues
im a human being
but i got lord vishnu sitting in my heart of hearts
and he and i got a tiny dialogue going
i love you people
please dont give up on it all
there IS a whole lotta hurt before ya get to the bliss
but you CAN get thru
bye bye blackbird
steve(n)
xxxxxx

good on ya belfrank
ya talked me into buying some manuka honey
it saved mah voice
it coated me throat
it gave me the energy
yer olde mum was right
i owe ya another one
take another knighthood
take another childhood
whatever
you saved my voices ass
(!?)
yes yes yes
what can i say
the hchcur were brilliant
we rocked
we rolled
we shook our beatle booties
2 shows
4 hours playin n singin
with a fucked throat
can only thank this miracle manuka honey
got me thru
the london audience were the best
people i say i love you
i love you
i thank you for making it what it was
yes i am an extremely charismatic talented man
handsome debonair suave
possessed with talent in spades
yes thats all true
but what am i without a lovely audience
like you guys n gals
to worship n adore me
and buy my merch
it was nice to meet ya all
it was nice to shake the babies
and kiss yer hands
you were great
i dont know what to say to ya always
you said some kind things
“steve, i just wanna say youre my fave singer ever
and you got me thru divorce/disease/the death of my budgie
ad without yer music i’d be a goner”
me “oh, thanks”
i mean what do ya say when people say that stuff
sometimes i cant cope
and i say goofy stuff
try and joke it away
people we designed this music to move ya
just sometimes its hard to deal with it
when ya tell us…
but i appreciate it
i appreciate you
in swedish
jag uppskatter er
you all mean something to me
we are all in this together
im making the music that you wanted to make yerself
ya just didnt have the obsession that i did
to learn to put it together
but im just doing what we all wanna hear in fucking pop music
you know stuff like feeling and evocation
and ambiguity and invocation
and all those ingredients robbie willy-ams
and fleety streety dont put in their cake
i dont why
its free
anyway
the shows were great
it was all goode
no complaints
no rants
people were so nice
chris squire from yes was there
one of the guys from garbage

this smorning
greeted by the horrendous sight
of 4 yankeee waddlers
so fuckin unbelievably fat
2 couples
one black n one white
the chairs can hardly contain em
and theyre tucking into their eggies n bacon n sausages
and croissants n more sausages
fucking turned mah stomach to see these hopeless slobs
feeding themselves to death
no older than me
they then struggled out of their seats
and probably broke the lift
cos these babies werent using the stairs
these blobs need a month on manuka honey
20 laps in the pool
i dunno
cmon say im cruel
but no
i say these things outta concern
stop eating all that shit people
im fucking nearly fifty 2
i rocked for 4 hours last nite
and still had more energy to go
its cos im careful with what i eat
and im careful to keep on moving
i saw some pics of me lassa nite from 2002
what bloated blob i was
before i started my regime
you gotta cultivate vitality
you gotta breathe in the sweet prana that permeates the universe
you gotta walk in the park and talk to the wind
you gotta save a struggling insects life
bless the fledglings in the nests
look at the individual blades of grass
regard the sky with wonder
feel the rain on yer face
get out of yer fluoro lit office
run n skip n jump
me n my doodles e and a
we skip to school everymorning
people say
there goes that olde hippy skipping with yon twinnies
but skipping is hard when ya 52
but its so good for ya
do something people
take up some thing
meditate
contemplate
read the gospels
read the gita
implore lord vishnu to fill yer heart
he cannot resist yer sincere prayers
he WILL speak to ya if ya but ask
f’rinstance
if im sitting home and a or e
half heartedly says “hey dad”
chances are i could ignore em
but if theyre screaming n crying for me
if i think they need me
i’ll be there inna flash
the heavenly mother/father is the same
all you have to do is ask
if yer asking in a cynical kinda show me what ya can do way
he aint gonna come
hes busy preserving protecting creating destroying
universes galaxies cosmos
he aint gonna answer yer phone call for some half assed thing
pray with every fibre of yer being
its hard
its hard to achieve that onepointed concentration
i was in rehab getting off the worst junk habit ever
i been shooting black tar heroin
i was so fucked up after 3 days in rehab
i didnt know what the fuck to do
i got down on my hands n knees
i got no pride left
look what i fucken done to myself
im spewing up green bile that burns my throat
im shaking sweating sneezing shivering
i m anxious like all harry
im insomniac
(the quack says mr kilbey
i just gave you enuff sleeping pills to knock out
a fucking horse, dude, i cant give ya anything more)
i cannot take it anymore
every junk starved cell in my body
is screaming in agony
i go down flat on my belly
to symbolise my total surrender
i pray
i say dearest lord vishnu
dearest krishna
sweet govinda
i am yer child
i cant take this
they say that youll never dish out more than we can take
and now i cant take any more
i put it in your hands
if you out there god
if you listning to your sad n fucked up childe
please now is the time…
im concentrating on this prayer 100 %
its my only hope
this is all true
then the lord
by his extraordinary mercy n grace
he came down into my head
filled my heart n body
soothing warm loving unspeakably beautiful presence
my dear child he says to me in a whisper in my heart
lie back down now and sleep
i lay on my bed
the pain HAS ALL SUBSIDED
i immediately fall into a lovely lucid dream
me n krishna walking the vrindavan, krishna loka
(his own place)
we talk of this n that
i wake up
ive slept for one hour
im refreshed
they fucken bloodtest n piss test me
in the rehab joint
cos they reckon im back on the gear
such was my rapid recovery
of course as my ego kicked back in..
(ego: well of course god would dig ME)
i got sick again
but my sweet lord saved my ass
i dont care if you dont believe this
i know what happened
i dont need to impress ya with some fony baloney
i have never achieved that level of contact since
but i know hes out there
listening to our prayers
consolation available
this is all a test
youre here to learn
god dont intervene
we have free will
he dont strike down the hitlers
or stop the tidal waves
he cant make 2 and 2 equal 5 either
but hes out there loving you thru all yer lives
i had to become a smack addict
i needed some humilty n compassion
i needed to see how the other half was “living”
i had only been a winner
i needed to lose
that was my lesson
i thank the lord for it
i dinnae care bout the houses and studios n cars
n rare fender guitars i put up my arm
fuck that
its just stuff
but it was worth it all
so i got in such a badde way
that i had nothing left
but god
and he was there for me
he’ll be there for you too
and one day
maybe in a million years time
we will see why all the pain was necessary
for our growth
its hard to understand it now
lord why did my daughters have to get cysts in their brains
lord why did ya take grantley from us
why auntie weenie
why god why
its like yer kids asking you why they cant have ten icecreams fer breakfast
guys, you wont understand yet
its for yer own good
i could buy ya ten icecreams
but you wont thank me for it eventually
thats how it is with god
you cant understand her
you cant blame god for the evil men do
thats what this earth is for
to work it all out
its a heartbreaker
believe me, i know
but there IS a reason
dont fall into despair
dont let some idiot in a lab coat tell ya
god is a stimulated cortex in yer brain n nothing more
dont blame lord vishnu for the inquisition
or the holocaust
or yer kitten dying
it doesnt work like that
im not trying to fool you
god is here
in you n me
in everything
we are all part of the one big thing
separation is an illusion
love people n theyll love you
everybody, even hitler, even genghis fucking khan
they all need want love
its an obstacle course
get with it
try yoga
yoke your heart to gods
see where it can take ya
im living proof
i turned it around
anyone can
it aint easy
but its the very very best
the sweetest nectar
the most divine ambrosia
when ya know
it AINT all for nothing
you can write in and quote niels bohr
or kierkagard or nitszcheor whoever the fuck
satre or any other aetheistic “facts” you like
the rishis knew it all ten thousand years ago
the stuff our “scientists” are only beginning to suss
this is all vibration
nothing is really real
we can change things with our thoughts
we can change n improve n become more
than we ever thought
its up to you
its up to me
im heading off to spain now baybee
madrid is calling me
some latin passion
some spanish wine
i love you fiendss
speak to ya tomorrow
stevie k

allo mary poppinss
good morning fiendss
wherever you may roam
here i am in my hotel foyer in london
blogging for thee instead of seeing buckingham palace
or madam twoswords
or whatever all those tourists flock here for…
nope
im here
writing this missive to ya
in bayswater, opposite hyde park
and sydney fiendss
londons hyde park is a lot lot bigger n better than
its antipodean namesake
when i finish here
im gonna have a strolly wolly in the parky warky
ive been up early doing extra extra chi gong n yoga
to try n get my velvet sonorous voice back
and trade in this wheezey olde croak
i been listening to dasi by karnamrita “prayers by women to krishna”
its a kind of western take on some beautiful hindu sanskrit prayers
sri krsna hari murari
hey nath narayana vasudeva
syllables charged with deep magic before the dawn of time
(hey jaime r will understand)
guitars sitars flutes tablas
oh yes, very inspirational

oh yeah
they say im a nice bunch of guys
and maybe theres some truth in it
i never know who im gonna be when i wake up
i know i said some rude things about the motherland yesterday
im sorry i was a little despondant
i aint ever levelling these rants against the amazing buncha
churchites that have been loyal since the word go
i hope you n they realise that
i just wanted it to be as good as it has been lately
didnae wanna fly all the way
just to play a crummy gig
cos i wanna give ya the best

marty just told me chris squire from yes may be coming tonite
unbelievable
one of THE greatest bass players ever
i still listen to the stuff he did 30 years ago
and my jaw drops
man…i wanna meet that druid

dunno how my voice is gonna hold up tonite
2 shows is gonna be pushing it
fiendss youll be proud of me when i tell ya
that i refrained from smoking anything yessaday
at all
trying to save mah larynx
wanna hit the notes etc etc

i cant even remember the last time we played 2 shows on one night..
can we even do it?
fuck, i hope so
or we’re gonna look bloody silly

anyway
here i am in england
talking with my australian accent
except when i meet an australian
then i talk with my english accent

i dont know who i am
i dont know what im sposed to be
a sinner and a would be saint
i just wanna heal everybody
with my music
but im still olde ugly and grumpy
im sorry if you find it frustrating
i do too
i thought i mighta known who im sposed to be by now
im just an actor
everything is a performance
music
sex
life
death
playing our parts
coming in
and dropping out
creating n destroying
today i feel so close to my god
the beautiful lord vishnu
i guess cozza all that yoga i just did
but i still could meet ya tonite
and youll walk away and say
whatta cunt that kilbee izz
remember if you catch me before i play
im too distracted to talk
if ya catch me after
im too exhausted
music is my anaesthetic
its my spell
its my coma
when i play i go somewhere else
and its hard to come back down to earth
and chat about whats been happning in yer life
i cant just switch this on or off anymore
this things coming thru us
and it fucking knackers mee out
so watch out if i dont make with the small talk
im not a good party animal fiendss
im not a good mixer
im not a social type
if ya wanna talk to me
talk to me about narnia or troy
or the mahabharata
or marc bolan
or vegan food
otherwise im not much chop
i know a lot about a few things
and almost nothing about anything else
my poor olde dad despaired about my mechanical abilities(non existent)
so idunno
apologising in advance for my inadequate conversation
if i meet ya tonite
anyway
its all me, me , me
on here, isnt it?
im a self obsessed egotistical narcissistic prick
but i can rock a little too
is it love
is it love
is it love
that makes us rock?

ok fiendss
im gonna leave ya here
think of me
sitting here in the columbia hotel
opposite hyde park
watching the green leaves move in the cold breeze
its a bank holiday
its very quiet
london aint so badde, guv’nor
i take it all back
im ready to be inglish again
my mum n dad are fucking cockneys fer god sake
im english thru n thru
im just a little confused
thats all
i need a little lie down and a rest
i need a months holiday in budapest
i need to see my lovely wife n my kiddiwinks
i need love
see ya tonite
hope the voicebox holds out
i love ya
sk

fiendss
dont ever tell me this aint a weird job
that im not in some weird weird position
no
i aint asking fer yer sympathy for this olde devil
i never do
but its doing my tiny head in
and its only about day 5
(insert own joke here!)
well
for a start
hungary was UNBELEEEVABLE
and unleavable
oh my tiny fiendss
those hungarians
living the boheemian lifestyle
oh budapest
with its green and slightly overgrown and wild gardens
the blossoms and pollen drift on warm breezes
its old ochre buildings
fiendss
you dont think i wanna stay here for a hundred years
the food…..excellent, delicious
the special hungarian liquers
yeah whats that black stuff called
we had REAL absinthe
not that grain alcohol with a splash of wormwood flavour
that ya smugly buy in the bottle-o on oxford st
and ya think ya getting the real deal
now this real absinthe
drunk with the burning sugar n stuff
i can see how it drove a few olde poetic types
right round the twist…
its refreshes some part of ya
that other alco holes dont seem to touch much
typical ole sk raving on about some new drug…right?
but this one comes with a caveat
beware this fire burns
this green fire with burning sugar
it smacks ya into some wormwood place
fiendss
they dont call it wormwood for nuthink
its also the name of the ghastly star
that will come close to earf in its final daze
go figger that druids
any way
yes i had a drop of absinthe
the gig was under a little pond/lake
in the middle of a park
in the middle of bpest
all long unmown grass
dudes sitting round in berets reading kafke
with beautiful magyar girlfriends
everybody taking their own sweet bohemian time
everybody just ambling along in that warm eastern hazy sun
a little bit like stockholm
if the swedes were a bit more fucking laissez-faire
and not so uptight with the gardening
but more inviting than scanda
some strange allure
fiendss this place is a best kept secret
uncrowded
unhurried
anyway the gig is actually under this water
from onstage you can look up thru
a layer of water and beyond it the greyblue sky
this aint no ordinary gig
the people there….a DELIGHT
everyfuckingone of em
laying on the black liquors and jazz ciggies
helping out
lending us stuff
speaking their melodic version of english
we played our whole set to rehearse
that wassa a mistake
cos for one of the only times ever
my voice has begun to give out
all that projection ive been gaining
my ability that i have only got in the last
couple of years
to insinuate my voice into a room and fill it up
i couldnae really do it
until just now
i dunno
a few years
but now im really perfecting it
before that
my olde singing
was almost no projection
no resonance
a style
but little real singing
now im combining the 2
dont worry fiendss
i aint turning into johnny bluesgrunter
im just trying to get this as good as i can
and fiendss
there was lots of room for improvement
anyway we finish soundcheck
theres some weird little fashion/dance thing
going down
people with fur stuck to their faces
and women running round
doing the kinda thing that eve and aurora
do in their “drama” classes when i pick em up
running around “gracefully”
anyway…why the hell not???
the gig was a fucking corker
we had it nailed immediately
we were a little ruff
but our machine sang like a lark
and we pulled off some minor miracle
which is when basically
4 olde geezers
with some acc instruments
took themselves and a few others
to another place for a cuppla hours
the audience were lovely
there were about 6/7 hundred
we did our encores
we loved em
they loved us
it was a done deal
my voicey is now a gruff squeak
(if ya can imagine that!!!)
but fuck it
i have some more absinthe
and wander off to my hotel
which was one of the nicest i EVER stayed at
and i didnt even have a room with a balcony
like the othars
anyway
next morning i do yoga
i have a delicious brekky
in the little dining area
this place is the opposite
of some western fast food fucked up bullshit
this has style grace
its all understated
the furniture and design
some impossible cool that australia never achieves
its fucking european culture at its subtle and finest
not just a capitalistic franchised runway
a real city
trees, gardens, rivers, and statues
and castles
if you like that stuff
well they got it here
and i must also say
that mr k n
who made the whole thing possible
was a true host
and is now promoted to
sir kev of kilbeyland
for services beyond the call of duty
fiendss
it was gonna be hard to top hungary
the next day we spent flying
hanging round heathrow
(like purgatory with newsagents)
we finally get into ireland bout 7 oclock
straight to gig
where we meet the following assorted
lords of the kilbey realm
lord boyd of laytownbuzzard
lord merrick of eternal youth and treesaver
sir richard a, energetic and unchanged
bishop michael farrant a true believer
count belfrank
who made this gig possible
(Oh my dear friend i hope ya didnt lose too many euros on it)
count belfrank, the gift of the gab
the man i shoulda been having lunchy with
when they busted me in nyc
(ha! now i always listen to his advice)
ah..another sprightly young knave
duke rikki tikki tavi maymee baybee
of the incredibly huge rock band
the blah blah blah blahs
(hi anton….ive recovered from meeting you
and i wanna get back in the ring for another swing!)
duke maymee produced the pipeweed
and we hobbits smoked
ok ok
ya saying
what about yer voice
fiendss
it is /was shot
in medical laryngeal terms
the condition is called a fucked up voice
coughing up nasty stuff
i can hardly talk
let alone sing
shut up
the other members had been saying all day
but they do that every day too
by the time we hit dubbling
my voice was a hoarse croak with a strange occaisional
high pitched bit
no longer the velvety crooner
but just a tired olde git
with a fucked voice
and a scared feeling
cos this has never really happened to me before a gig
we come all the way to ireland
and i cant sing
im sorry
nothings gonna cheer me up about that
i wanted to show em what i could do
and i was like a guitarist with one olde rusty string
to play on
the crowd was kinda small and kinda reserved
i guess
not like the hungarians
who jumped right into it
there was a distance i could not bridge
my humour was forced
it fell flat and no bugger laughed
you see
fiendss
ireland and i have a little problem with each other
i never quite “got” it about ireland
and it never quite “got” it about me
thats just how life is
ya cant love and be loved by everywhere
i played abysmally
and felt like wishing
that hole would open in the stage
and take me down to some stygian pit
where i could rail against my disappointment
for EVERBODYS sake
the rest of the band played on
they were ok
but we never transcended
the way we so effortlessly had in bpest
we had exceeded our time limit curfew
and we played only un mo for the on core
which was unsatisfying
im sorry fiendss
you want some honesty
i hadde a terrible gig
i couldnt sing
my bass playing was hopeless
it was nae anyones fault
its just the way it goes
afterwards we met
earl frankie xk and dame janice
and the lovely and divine
nicky see more
of that famous band
the you know whos
a true australian character
comedian, raconteur etc etc
cmon see more
thats enuff flattery for ya
but these guys are amazing folks
almost lift me outta doldrums
back to hotel
very nice actually
much better than what i knows coming in london tonite
im english
can i say this
i feel homeless in my home country
i cant understand the lager
the pubs
the sausages n beans n darts
the stupid obsession wiv soccer and its associated violence
its ridiculous prices (at least for australians)
its awful fucking hotels
its stodgy food
its obseession wiv posh n bex n page 3 royal gossip
bullshit
its a cockney america wiv worse food
england
my england
what fuckin happened to ya
id rather go to any other city in europe
than london
i love my english fans n fiends and family
theres still a lot of brilliant and beautiful people here
but have a look at what flleet street hath wrought
look at prince fucking harry n robbie willy-ams
stay in a london hotel for a week
but im always looking for that mythical london
of the swinging sixties
and now its just greed n souvenirs
and a fucking million people everywhere you look
the hideously poor
the hideously rich
im sorry england
you spawned me
and i know you dont care what i think
but just like america
its all going wrong
ya cant ignore the things ya trying to ignore
yer celebrity culture disgusts me
what do i know
im a halfbreed thats not at home anywhere
i like bondi fuckin’ beach cos its easy
and its warm
and ya pretty much can do whatever ya like
i dont like london cos its cold n grey n dirty n heartbreaking
but our english fans
are some of the most knowledgable n erudite as you can get
i guess i got the same problem with england as ireland
we never really understood each other
you can stick yer whole cockney wide boy artfull dodger routine
but all my favourite bands come from england
cmon england fucking rules music
nuff said
why didnt they ever really like us over there
i guess not everbody can go all the way
we lucky to be playing over here at all at this stage of game
so englands a big screaming paradox for me
i always thought i was doing all my music for the english
i thought they were the only ones whod understand my lyrics n that
but not everything can be popular
i guess it wasnt the surefire thing i thought it was
never mind
i look forward to the borderline so so much
i cant tell ya
not london
but the gig itself
if my olde ruined voicey can regain its former splenda
we will surely deliver on our promise
and fiends
i aint innit fot the moneytravelwomenfame
i just wanna strap on mah fender bass
sing mah songs with my compadres
and i wanna fucking deliver
do what we can do
which no other can do
quite the way that we do
it aint always easy
its a lofty goal
gotta keep tryin’ for it
see ya later frankies
nick c-moor
lovely colleens and oirish laddies
we’re bound for olde blighty
will she take me in her arms n love me?????
i’ll let ya know
same bat time
same bat channel
sk

hiya peeple
yeah
im here
in budapest baybee
its beautiful
its amazing
its hansel n gretelsville
fabulous hotel with all mod cons
jazz cigarettes
lovely restaurant
good food
oh life is hard
but today must start rehearsals
must do some re learning
sorry to give ya such a short one
but tonites the gig(gle)
so i should have the lowdown for ya
tomorrow
i love you guys
and gals
sk

i just sat here typing a fuckin blogg for an hour
and it cut me off
so fuck it
fuck you
and fuck fucking england
machine swallowed my dough
and cut me off in the middle of everything
FOR NO REASON
i love london
yer really get ya moneys werth here baybee
fuck it all
its all gone
im so madde
im fuckin livid
im fuckin fuming
byesk

morning or evening fiendss
i cant tell
im in hong kong airport
waiting for my flight to london
so far so good
my valiums n panadeine fortes are keeping the back pain at bay
i gotta seat on my own on way here
so my claustrophobia didnt bite too badde
ive just turned on my lappy
and got connected straight away
having said all that
not much to report really
on my way to budapest
never been in eastern europe before
and its spring…
im sure therell be a little friction when east meets west
but it cant be helped
there were a buncha hungarian kids at bully high
they were all quite nice too
have no real preconceptions at all
will let it all happen as it wants
i no longer need to control things
the way i once tried to
and lifes easier that way
i hadda last minute panic
when my ipod locked up
but the lovely laetitia helped me unlock
at the last moment too
taxi waiting n everything
was quite despondent
it just needed a little jiggery pokery
laetitia youre promoted to
lady of the sk realm
lady laetitia of coogee arise
for services to the great cause
as you can imagine fiendss
im not really in a raconteur mode rite now
so i may save my battery
wish you all a good morning
night
or whatever the fuck it is where you are
i love you all
bye bye
sk weary correspondent

30 microgrammes of codeine phosphate
or was that 30 millograms?
the black rain slides across the window
discreet music hovers
the wind buffets the house
long dark cloud comes down
hides the hubba bridge and the oprah house
winter night arrives in sydney
in the warm glow of home
in the living room
the room that lives
in the lamplight
soft furniture music
romantic time
we embrace our paradoxes
shudder through changes
i run my fingers over the options
night settles in
lights come on on the hillsides
8 oclock comes around
finds me in a dream
tinnitus rings on in my silence
my world becomes narrow
i get in touch with the deep thing
a frozen lake
a fiery core
so glad to be inside
safe and warm
a roof over my head
raindrops form black and silver circles on glass
i think of rain on chrome
tail lights red in the mirrors
i think of birds in nests
protective wings of my angel
my eyes blurr now
it doesnt matter
the inner light sometimes shines for me
illuminations
nothing what it seemed
it seemed nothing
i underestimate the rain
i turn my collar
to the cold and damp
the phone rings
moment becomes inert
what else is falling out there ?
take this
said the doctor
this is for your fevered imagination
and this is for your broken promises
and take this when you miss home
in the middle of everything
an irish interviewer rings up from dubb-lynne
he loves ultc
well thats a goode start
no steve he says
i really love it man
we talk about grant
i cant believe he was so well loved everywhere
major obituaries and everything
grantley i hope ya seeing some of this
i know youre lapping it up
he says the irish especially loved ya
we finish talking
i smoke some
the rain drizzles n sizzles
sad night
night before depature
quiet
drift away

hi ya people
feeling weary
not much of a blogg today, i suspect
feeling sad to leave the fam n the home
on wednesday
not looking forward to it that much
bit of a cold
back aching still
not feeling like much of a rockstarr
to tell ya the truth
as ian hunter said
you gotta stay a young man
you can never get old
you look like a star
but youre really on the dole

he also said
god aint jive

he also said
pass the salt
to his wife once

i dunno
the doodles have gotten up for school
warm n confused they tumble out of bed
aurora comes n gives me a kiss
mornin dad she says in her jimmy stewart accent
the doodles have lived here 4 years now
they still speak with american accents
sometimes they get confused
they dont know whether to say
bath
or barth
fast
or farst
they dont know whether to say
sidewalk or footpath
sometimes they say footwalk
or sidepath….
im gonna miss my doodles
thats fer sure
but europe awaits
the roar of the greasepaint
the smell of the crowd
actually on a cold morning
sitting here
in the bosom of my fam
i dont really have any desire to sally forth
and take europe by storm
i just wanna stay home
dont wanna get in a cab
get to airport
stand in q
go thru customs
get on plane to singapore for 9 hours
wait around there for 4 hours
then plane to london for 13 hours
then negotiate heathrow
more customs
then plane to hungary
more customs cabs queues
finally to hotel
ah now i can sleep
no you cant
you got jet lag mr killbee
you cant sleep now
in hungary it might be 11 at night
but in austraylia its 9 in the morning
and im ready to swim
then of course next morning
when the lovely and attractive kevin n
drops by to get me
im gonna be ready for slumberland
such is the jetsetting musos lot
look
i love playing
i live for it
onstage i am anaesthetised
oblivious
under a spell
i just hate waiting
i hate travelling
i hate listen to the other dudes in mah band
blabbing on about something i already heard
a million times
i hate the awkward meetings
steve, this is roger bullpitt
hes the head of programming here at KPOX
steve, im yer biggest fan…
whats yer group called again?

i hate it when i walk off stage
when i just played for 2 hours
im soaking wet and exhausted
and some dude immediately storms in
and starts up a conversation
about something …….
jesus…
i hate trying to find vegetarian…let alone vegan food
i hate driving down the autobahn at 2oo miles an hour
in the rain and spray
i hate hotels next door to construction sites
i hate “fans” who love you so much
they wanna have an argument
i hate going onstage without a smoke
(pls take note of that, someone!)
i hate it when i cant get thru to australia
or they charge me an arm n a leg
per minute phone call
oh fiendss
its no bedda roses on tour
i know you dont feel sorry for me
i know yer thinkin’
get out there and rock
and stop complainin’ you olde whinger
the friction
the disapointment
the rip offs
the arguments
the blah blah blah blah blah
i know
i should be grateful
im almost 52 n im still rockin
just get on with it
ok
i will
i will rock all over this world
i will be happy
i will be olde gifted n white
i will be onstage with bells on
i will smile thru the sad songs
i will be polite
even to grovelling wallies
and rude sods
i will treat you all with equanamity
i will be kind n courteous
even when asked to sign
one of martys records
step on my toe, i’ll laugh
knock over my bass, i’ll grin
get my towel damp, i’ll love ya for it
oh im such a changed and nice bloke now
its sickening
no more the grumpy supercilious cynical bastard
of yore
now sweetness n light
humbly glad to be on the road
and honoured to sing my song for ya
thats it you creatures
thats it for today
was that ok
was it enuff
am i still in yer goodbooks?
see ya in buda, pests
sk

no
poor olde sk
his back still aint fixxed
i had acupuncture
i had chiropracter
i had physiotherapist
i had massage
no better
becoming despondent
not least
that i gotta get onna plane to europe
on wednesday
i cant sitting in one spot
for 5 minutes
let alone a 30 hour flight
in a tin can
squashed in between the fat lady and the fidgetty kids
or the nervous alcoholic and the crying babies
or
(insert pasenger from hell here)
i hate fucking flying
i loathe fucking flying
once i merely disliked it
but after the chchurs experience
on the plane when the engine exploded
im not so keen on the friendly skies
“we have suffered catastrophic engine damage”
came on the cap’ns voice
catastrophic!!!??
wouldnt very bad or terrible been enuff
did he have to say catastrophic
the guy next to me(mr d lane)
starting railing against his fate
“what am i doing on this fuckin’ plane…
i knew it was gonna crash”
mwp across the aisle leans over
well olde bean , been nice knowing you…
see you on the other side..
timmy p says
i dont mind us dying
but what about our kidsss?
the captain says
we gonna return to melbourne
we should be able to fly with one engine
an irishman behind me says
if that one blows we could be up here all day….
(no, that was a little levity, folks)
actually
i started praying
i started chanting
hare krishna
hare krishna
please god
im commending my spirit into yer hands
the plane begins its turn around
fucking hell
it just hangs there limp in the sky
like it aint got the steam to do it
ok ok
finally we make it
but im so over flying now
ive flown a billion flights
sydney singapore london stockholm
new york la rome paris
jesus
i had more jet lag than
dutch pierres had hot dinners
im scared, ok?
i dont mind who knows it
im scared!
i hate the air on airpl;anes
i hate the food
i hate the gay aussie stewards
who wake yer up for a sausage ommelette
at 3 in the morning
or the captains who blast onto the
“relaxation” channell
to tell ya that baghdad is just to the right of the cabin
i hate the queues and the suspicion
i hate the searches
i hate the customs
its a miserable thing
and now my back has locked up
or my lock has backed up
so i aint no happy flyer, fiendss
im chicken hearted wreck
im a landlubbing scaredy cat
so pity me
on wednesday
yeah im looking forward to seeing budapest
and playing at dublin village
(answering yer question, lee!)
but i do not wanna fly
its gonna be purgatory
see what i go thru
for your sakes fiendss
it aint all dancing on clouds
i love ya
sk