The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

sunday morning
sunday morning…
theres something in a sunday…
6.48 sunday
fripp n eno on escape pod
goji juice in hand
thc in bloodstream
pk portrait on bloodred background NEARLY completed
pete completed
yes and some wiley commenter points out
why aint sk the BLACK wiggle?
fuck, i could inject a bit of raw edge visceral humour
for the long sufferin’ adults who are subjected to the wiggles
quite frankly have ya ever seen this stuff?
its enuff to drive even the sanest man(like mee!)
to go stark raving bonkers
its the most patronizing schmaltzy drippy corny
and awkward and mawkish and EMBARRASSING RUBBISH
i dont care if its made for kids
i woodna watched this malarkey when i was a kid!!!
would you?
kids arent all stupid
only some of em
in the same proportion as adults
some turkeys here
some genii there
beware
expose your kidss to this tripe
and bad results could follow
childhood is an important age ya know
if you expose yer kidss to nerdy blokes in skivvies
singing tuneless silly songs
you aint gonna get frida kahlo or johnny lennon outta it
it stands to reason
play em the church
your kids could be quoting the lyrics to the disillusionist
on the first day of school….
cmon
look i aint even gonna criticize the wiggles no more
its kinda like gawking at a traffic accident or something
but jeff n murray n stig
if ya do need a black wiggle with a bit of pizazz
and some new kiddy songs
ones that address real childrens issues
like
“popularity crisis in e flat minor”
and
“sibling strangler”
get the picture….im a vailabull
*************************
last nite me n evie starr attended a galllery opening n xmas party
at an exclusive private soiree eastern suburbs you werent there nyah nyah
bohemian bash in bondi
im just standing back as the attentive blogger
trying to capture it all for you
the colourful dresses swirl around
men with all varieties of facial hair
as we walk in evie spots her best friend from school
and shes off
leaving daddy-oh free to mingle
gee its the usual crowd plus…
society chicks with tit-jobs
gay cameramen
those brazilian types with porsches n pony-tails
where do they get all their money from? (ha-ha!)
theres lucian the director
theres andy whos having the exhibition
the gallery owner comes up n tells me how much he loves chrissy b hinde
too bad mah man…i have 0 free tickets for that
he also says hes waiting for a blind date to show
how long has she been without her eyesight i hilariously ask
another pissed man rushes over
“whos the black girl with the teeth?” he breathlessly asks
(can you believe this bullshit?)
whos the black girl without teeth i ask him back
he looks at me as if im crazy…..
i look around n evies leading a gang of kids
running around and carrying on with a good contact high
i summon her over
her cheeks are all red from running n excitement
“calm down eve!’ i order her
sure dad and runs off to start it all up again
we move out to the huge yard dotted with sculptures
a band starts up
its david lane n some local players
wow
the place starts to fill up
i chat distractedly with a stream of people
steve this is my friend from argentina juan
steve this is joe blow from bingbong row
hi im steve….
see ya later man
theres some flyers there for our play
someone points me out to a pissed english prick
he comes over to me
beery winey breath in my face
OH ARE YOU AN ACT-TOR
he heavily stresses the tor bit of actor
not acta but act-tor
as i try to meekly say no, not really
he regales me with bullshit about act-tors
even tho i keep saying “well actually…”
and finally finishes with
MY BROTHER IS AN ACT-TOR, YOU KNOW
despite all this aggravation
when the idiot asks for a tobacco-less joint
i surprise my self with my good naturedness
as i catch myself saying in my best humble aussie accent
“i’ll roll ya one, mate…”
when its done he snatches it away
greedily inhales half of it
gives it back n then ignores me from then on in
well it was a party i guess
you gotta expect to meet “characters” there
i hate some smartass being a “character” at my expense, tho
some drunk whos turned into w.b.yeats after 2 bottles of plonk
whos cornered ya at a bar and waxing all poetic in yer face
but not lettin’ ya get a word in edgewise
jesus that gets my goat
i look around
and see eve has propped a ladder against a high wall
and is leading a gang of kids in an escape attempt
evie !
i yell
she comes over
did i tell you to calm down n take it easy?
yes dad
do ya think climbing ladders over walls is taking it easy?
no dad
bloody be’ave yerself eve or we’ll both get bounced out…
ok dad
i have a little drink of red wine
oohh cheap n ruff
nasty stuff….mmm…i like it
now eve n cohorts have built a long jump
from some panels that may have been a “sculpture”
evie!!!
sorry dad
the dudes blind date turns up
uh oh
he wants me to meet the b.d. n her flatmate both english
the dude tries to tell em who i “am” but they never heard of me
but under the murky way was a hit in england he insists
no it werent ! me n the ladies say
the dude takes me aside
i like the flatmate more than the blind date he whispers
yeah i could see that coming i concur
what should i do ?he asks
(why is he asking me i dont know!)
well i say..
seeing a blind date is just a random blip
and a blind dates flatmate is another random blip
how can one random blip mind if you prefer the other?
yes yes he says but how will i ever split them up now? he asks
i look around
a band of jammers is jammin some jazz
n eve is dancing around like salome
waving her arms like a greek sybil talking to apollo
with her hair pulled back like that she could be a dryad
shes on a huge contact high from the party
n having a whale of a time
auroras gonna be angry she didnt come she calls out to me
finally im just standing there in the garden
in the darkness watching all the people do their things
the jostling n jockeying for position
the guys carrying on like peacocks
the aftershave n the cigarrettes n the booze n the schmoozin’
just older children thats all, after all
suddenly evie runs up looking upset
i couldnt find you daddy
her cheeks are red and shes all hot n sweaty
time to go miss starr i say
shes happy to leave too
and we exit into the warm bondi night
and we discuss the party on the way home
evies still sleeping in as i write this
laid out by her festive exertions
boy shes gonna be a wild party girl when she grows up
i stifle a shudder
well, maybe not
maybe she’ll change….but i doubt it…
anyhow thats it for today
love etc
killer

overcast warm morning
will write blogge then take los nipper doodelles
to la plage and la mer
buy some pears…yeah you know the usual routine
im list’ning to mimesis 2 the instrumental record
polinski n co are ambient geniuses
unbelievable textures n depths
whirling whorls of marine music
tender romantic piano
distant emotionless shards
aching strings
lovely rubbery double bass….the real thing!
spanish guitars n fizzing percussion
god all i had to do was open my mouth….
how could anyone get this music wrong….?
polinski n colin n co
theyre creating this sublime music
music implying so much
is it possible to wring more meaning out of music than this?
i just had to open my mouth
the music it was filling my head
dragging the words out
rolled up as they were
in my mind
waiting for this music to waken them
this first track i listen to now
im an ideal sk
young sk
or little sk
im in this caravan down the south coast
its in this beautiful little caravan park
tho no one else seems to be staying there
my caravan is always warm n cosy
i seem to live on tea n toast which is always there
i watch the fish in the little stream
maybe i go to the beach
and walk alone that lonely stretch of shore
just like erskine
wondering vaguely where those 2 sets of 2 girls are
but maybe that never happens either
or if it does
the next day i will instantly forget
anyway
i feel like at last
im on holiday
a blessed holiday, fiendss
i aint ever goin’ back to work now
im just reading books and relaxing
drinking tea in the empty caravan park
oh finally gone the constant anxiety inculcated into me
ever since i could think
feeling exposed
feeling stripped of my shields
feeling naked
but now
here in this old but comfy caravan
is peace AT LAST
no more rat race
no more dog eat dogfood
cat eat catfood
but who eat soulfood? world
no more heres yer place on the ladder
no more argy bargy n carry-on malarkey
no more heres your desk n get workings
no more where you been?
no more whydja doo that?
no more im lonely, tired, frightened,hungry
no more oh no i cant believe its true….
no more nomores…..
cant you see
this warm caravan in this silent verdant meadow
these swaying trees
the oaks n gums n the weeping willows
bending down along the stream that runs to sea
the bees n the tiny yellow flowers
my books about…..
my mug of sweet tea
my toast with hanks jam
my comforting darkness inside during the noon sun
my soft grey shorts splattered faintly with paint
my flannelette shirt rolled up to the elbows
theres no one to ring
theres no one to see
theres nothing i have to ever do
just potter about
feeling peaceful
and how long does this go on for
well you see
as each day is almost the same as the last
and same as the next
they blur into each other
the mornings roll into the nights
the nights deliver me up each morning
safe n sound n sleepy
the yellow sun
the cobalt blue sky
the surf gently crashing
(but the time has stopped within my dream sings todd r)
then
one day
an intruder
who
who who is here
who is here in MY holiday?

working on my play
the other actor mr goldspink is absolutely excellent
and he has worked up a chillingly unbalanced “jerry”
an aggressive extroverted headcase from nyc circa 1960
im peter
a boring timid upperclass ponce who doesnt like jerry 1 bit
but hes fascinated and too scared to leave
our director is lucian
he directed the merchant of venice i was in
he works as a superwaiter at corporate gigs
which is a shame cos he devotes himself selflessly
to the theatre
and doesnt seem to get much financial reward
a true bohemian
no where to live
just crashing on couches
and directing the stuff he likes to do
even one show in an alleyway in melbjorn
i just wish this guy could cash in once but good
hes a dedicated thespian warrior
fighting for art n indepent thinkin’
on the fuckin’ frontline of art
and he doesnt own a thing
anyway
the other night he got very excited about zoo story
mainly cos of sebastian…not so much me
but thats ok
im the straight guy, the fall guy
the cowardly custard
i think its gonna be a good play
12 n 13th of jan
bondi nsw
be there or……
(insert your own insult here)

committed to painting 4 new pics of groop
have done moi (black)
halfway thru mwp (blue)
then pk(red)
n tee pee (purple)
what will you read into that
so be it!
so i must paint n paint n paint
thats it
beware!
love
sk

dear subscriber
please exuse the t. being from attending blogge
the 6 n 7 th of dec.
when he woke up on the 6th he had a high temp
and all his adjectives were slightly flushed.
he seemed off his puns and couldnt not even be tempted
with a small rant.
i made the painful decision not to send him along
and then yesterday
when i heard him split an infinitive i rushed him to
the grammarians who after an examination
said he was suffering verb fatigue
and his conjugations were a liitle swollen.
the doctors checked his diction
and advised a small lay-off
for a few days.
i hope the t. being can catch up all his work
and passes all his paypal exams
yours faithfully
mother of all t. beings

im sorry
yes i was away
2 hard late nights
and then
nks uncle gary passed away
aged only 56 years
uncle gary was a true character
a kind of modern wc fields
he paid for our honeymoon down at rehoboth beach
and when we checked into our room
uncle gary had provided champagne n chocolate strawberries too
he had polio when he was just a kid
and spent a long time in hospital on his own
then when he got out he had to wear a painful n awkward body-brace
he always limped n shuffled along and the polio was slowly coming back
making his life miserable
even getting in n out of bed became a major hassle
uncle gary was nks dads elder brother
and the 1st time i went to delaware to meet her
uncle gary turned up to check me out
there was a knocking at the door the 1st morning i arrived
and theres this larger-than-life character
standing there with a cigar n a pink suit
(uncle g was NOT gay but he wore strange flamboyant clothes)
he beckoned to me
and i hopped in his corvette and he drove me around
givin’ me the 3rd degree
he was a lawyer
and he asked me lotsa questions
but never really waited to hear the answer
just leapt on to the next topic
all the time keeping up a hilarious schpiel
he took us out to a restaurant
which proved to be a comedy routine
uncle g was “fond of a drink”
and he ranted n raved about larry fortensky
(i think he wished he was married to liz taylor himself)
and he kept warning natalie about “english school boys”
implying that i might be secretely gay
he was very un-p.c. about almost every subject
summoning the chef out to ask him about my veggie lasagna
and carrying on in a loud tasteless but completely hysterical fashion
uncle gary instantly became my fave
and although he teased me mercilessly
and never seemed to listen to my mumbled protests
i thought he was the bees knees
his intake of vodka was prodigious and he ate very little food
he usually had a great big pair of sunglasses on
and he was always in a hurry
he could never just sit down n relax
he liked young women with lotsa make-up
and he squired an endless stream of em
attracted by his bottomless wallet n his extreme largesse
he let us stay in his lovely holiday house for a while
and kept on inviting me to drive his ‘vette
but then he never let me
he was outrageously sentimental n then
just as quickly he’d change his mind
and say something caustic
eg a loada rellies saying how clever
the doodles are cos they could, say, walk a little
oh theyre so clever
oh look at em walk
and uncle gary’d mumble
oh yeah..theyre fuckin’ geniuses
which i thought was kinda refreshing
the twillies came over n met him
they were kinda fascinated by him
he exploded into crocodile tears at our wedding
and then turned up at our litttle breakfast
pissed as a newt
paying for everything
and telling tales about himself
and legendary bar room brawls he’d been in
eventually i worked up a hilarious uncle gary impersonation
but it came from a place of love n understanding
so nk wasnt angry when i’d do it
and get stuck in character for a few hours
unable to stop being uncle gary
saying all his usual sayings
which can best be summed up by the phrase
(said in a slightly sozzled deep gruff ruff voice)
fuck em if they cant take a joke
one night after a huge uncle gary impersonation marathon
nk turned to me n said
steven…who were you before you were my family?
marty loves my uncle gary impersonation
often saying in the studio
cmon steve…do natalies uncle
then i’d eff n blind in my american accent
insultin’ every body
wheezing n coughing n pretending to be a little drunk
gary passed away on tuesday
and we all feel shocked
the polio, the drinkin’, the wild life caught up with him
and it was kinda expected
but i feel like i really lost an uncle myself
even tho gary wasnt really much older than me
yesterday i accidentally slipped into an uncle gary voice
then i looked up n said sorry to nk
no she said
i want you to keep on doing it..it keeps him alive for me
so if ya hear me talking in a low gruff american accent
saying
“yeah!” or
“sure, i bet youre a fucking genius!”
or some very uncorrect remark about
something a bit sensitive…
then ya know its uncle gary living on
thru me
a true one-off, break the mold
dont make em like that anymore character
uncle gary
you will be sorely sorely missed
we loved you, gfd
and i hope yer giving the waitresses in heaven hell!!
normal service resumed tomorrow
“yeah!”

good morning well wishers
how now brown cow?
youll be pleased to know
the falcon is now a smooth sleek silent panther
a blue grey blur
king midas did me nicely
fixed my muffla
my a.c. problem
flush my transmission
oiled my greased nipples
n changed my mind
wow
im sailing down the street now
toddy rundgren pumping
“i was born to synthesize, energise n catalyze”
yes toddy, me too..
i got me a big ass olde car now
(actually it is a little hard to park…)
cruising down this shuddering highway
(actually olde south head road)
i got a silver machine!!
watch out you hoity toity olde posh bags in yer bmw suvs
the killer is comin’ on thru nohow!
anyway
enough of that petrolhead nonsense
el mo 2 getting near finished
a few surprises…
i cant tell ya natch…or they wont be surprises
but ya gonna do a dubble-take on some of this
thats for sure
and i guarantee it
im supposed to finish 3 portraits of the band as well
where will i find all this time
they say bring painting into studio
you can paint n mix at same time
sure
and i could juggle too
or keep plates spinning
with one lobe tied behind my back
n a blindfold on
thats the trubble
give em everything
n
they expect everything
so much work for the lazy old being to do
yesterday i get home late
do yoga on yonder balcony
mosquitoes attack attack attack
suck my blood
(i am a red blooded male!)
nasty nasty little biters
had to stop during the tree pose
those female mosquitoes all over my lovely calves
and i dont want em ruined with nasty bites
i want them to remain a pristine wilderness
of suntan n muscle
cmon they are beautiful …..
am i allowed to say this?
i mean the rest of me is…..alright…
but my calves….oh my calves
and my doom never to be able to see em properly
always have to bend n twist n reflect
not the biggest calves youll ever see
just the secksiest….easily
in fact if you see a better set of calves than mine
drop me an email
killahcalves@leggy.org.asm
and send me dubble yer money back as a deposit
if any one else has better leggies
i’ll keep the money….ok?
sorted
my calves are actually negotiating with sir dennis hand-jobbe
from xyz records about doing a solo album
course its gonna be instrumental
(calves cant sing, silly)
featuring
i kneed you
spank my ankles
toeing the line
vanilla thigh
n groin injury
oh ho ho ho
(dont you wish this would stop?)
we already got a foot in the door here
and my calves are appearing in some new shorts
n films soon
hop in to yer record store
n demand the killers calves
before this whole joke is milked dry
(disgruntled subscriber in east cheam says
i thought he was telling us about fucking hayday today
and then we get this loada bollocks bout his calves!)
anyway
allow me my levity, fiendss
im working so hard im going bloody balmy
but thats how you like us olde genii
slightly nutty
its one of the perks of the job
be serious for twenny years
then become a total looney..
eccentricity they call it
oh olde steve…hes a bit…eccentric
ye see….im not just a crazy olde bastard
im a venerable eccentric gentlemen
a V.E.G.
now us V.E.G.s are getting kinda rare
now pablo picassos gone..
its really only bobby dylan, lenny cohen n me left
(not necessarily in that order)
im like a national treasure
but no ones treasuring me much
im like a vintage car
driving myself slowly mad
im like an old master
with no peace
although it breaks my heart to leave ya
fiendss i mist bid you a fond adieu
see ya tomorra
24 hours for you
an eternity for me
love
left n right calf
x x

good mourning fiendss n fiendettess
thank you to my subscribers
i appreciate your continued financial support
well its monday , isnt it?
i got so much on…
finish mixing el mo 2 monday n tuesday
wednesday night katoomba gig with mwp
thursday tv show interview
friday rehearse 2 man play(opening bondi jan12)
saturday or sun ..record tribute track for grant record
monday clean up spare room …a mammoth task
tuesday twilliepops arrive
and muffler now completely obnoxious
must see midas the muffler king
greedy fiendss write in
tell us about heyday
tell us about mats
slow down fiendss
ive spoiled ya by giving ya 2 much 2 soon
landsakes, we gotta stretch this out
make the stories last…..its a long journey
pace ourselves
eventually
i promise you this
everything will be revealed
when this process is over
youll know everything
everything!
continue to have a track on #1 album this week in aust
craig obey vs the cherch
hear them cents tricklin’ in to my cavernously empty account
aint it funny
you take the 1st verse of an olde song
ya put doof doof doof
ya got a new song
ya in the charts n evvything
wow
is that all it takes
will anyone ever do a new version of obeys version
so its roger kaputnick vs craig obey vs the cherch
a tag team number
its obey , hes twisting the cherchs first verse
oh thats gotta hurt
but whats this…?!
kaputnicks got obey by his doof doofs
hes applying pressure to his crotchet
the cherch are on the ropes
kaputnick does his atomic drop
hes gonna diss obey….
ouch!
he aint gonna be doing no remixing for a while…
silly aint it fiendss….
anyway
that still leaves me here
overcommitted
underwhelmed
and feeling tired just contemplating it all
i ve run out of goji juice too
nk n doodles + bumper
bought xmas decorations yessaday
and it seems only a matter of time
before the hall is decked with boughs of holly
and baby bumper is wearing tinsel n icicles
quite frankly i hate xmas decos…bah humbug
whats it gotta do with baby jesus
who is santa n the grinches love child
who was born to set free frosty the snowman
and the magic xmas tree who was pining away
until the 3 wise guys brought their chrissie pressies
and he said bugger the frankinswhatsis n the mer
gimme the gold ,baybee
and what did the verging mary spend all that gold on..?
a copy of craig obey vs the cherch?
and joseph
he bought marys story, did he?
and what did he get for christmas?
more fucking aftershave?
and donna n blitzen n rudolph the red nosed
landing on the roof
waking up kelly next door
and she comes out
and starts abusing santa
there you fucking are…you red clad sorry son of a bitch!
think you can drop down a girls chimney
give her a present
then piss off fer a year, do ya?
and keep ya bloody reindeers of the hydrangeas
well i gotta surprise for you claus…
(sound of struggling)
“no kelly, dont empty the red sack…
aw hell kelly, all the childrens presents……all ruined!”
now piss off to maroubra, you yuletide wanker
“no, kelly, dont kick my sleigh…aw please
aw kelly now the bells dont jingle….”

xmas in aust is a joke anyway
its hot
its unxmassy
its a heathen hedonistic excuse to drink beer
n lie on a beach
i aint giving no presence to no one
except kids
so dont hang around yer po box waiting for my gift, ebenezer!

last nite saw a very good show on peter cook n dudley moore
about their partnership n split
wow
i dreampt about it
and was glad when i woke up
brilliant comedians those 2 boys
try n see bedazzled
thats the film they based that awful one with liz hurl-lee
n bend-on phraser on

i guess thats it my fiendss
its 20 to 8 in morning
doodles are up n drawing
the weather is iffy
must swim
do something bout my muffler
get in studio
n
panic!

thank you children of the night
i appreciate your support
sometimes its hard being a raving genius
kicking against the pricks who run this show
i made p=a for you
not for them
and to answer mr missions oft asked question
twas i twinklefingers playing piano on mistress
(i channelled my dad!)
but when we delivered it to a-wrister records n tapes
they were like, well….whats this sposed to be?
can we change the title?
i already had previously written an essay
for a’wrista
explaining
(can you fucking believe this)
explaining why i wanted to call starfish “starfish”
they wanted to call it under the milky way
(gee some imaginitive einsteins at work there)
so i think
they wanna explanation
i’ll give em an explanation THEY WONT BELIEVE!
so i set about typing the most hilarious
over the top
pseudo-hi brow
andre breton-ish
loada olde tripe
about starfish
the word
the connotations
the drift, the travel, the cosmic
the interconnection of all fucking things
the meaning of life contained within 2 silly bles
star fish
of course a’wrista writes back
oh steve…well seeing its like that..of course
starfish it is
of course i couldnt just say to em
ah…well i wanna call it starfish cos i like it!
not everything has meaning
nor is it desirable even that it should
starfish was a good title
it made something deep inside light up
something intangible
something beyond n before description
it felt right
i pick up a guitar and start singing a new song
because it means something?
hardly ever
because it feeels right?
usually always
thats why i call em “straights”
they have no imagination
they cant just go
ok
yeah
i can grokk that!
its dig-able, baybee!
i fought against “straights” from the moment
i bought me first guitar..
always been some unimiginative gooseball
waiting to spoil my vision-splendid
no you cant do that!
no you cant play that!
no you cant write that!
no you cant record that!
why not?
because you cant!
why are there so many “straights” in the music biz?
cant they have their thing and let us have ours?
the ent biz is where less powerful “straights” are attracted
the sick n weak ones who cant survive amongst their own
attracted by the naivety n trusting nature of musicians
they crowd into the pool
eating up the small fry
and taking great chunks out of ya!
people yesterday saying our vids (bar one or two) are shonky
i agree with ya
you think i wanted that ?
you cant put pictures to my songs
a visual explaining
or decoding
or suggesting
or implying
just ruins our music
ive had so many fights
so much sulking screaming whispering meetings standoff
ultimatums accusations balls-ups waste of time n money
it was some unimaginitive “straight” super-imposing his malarkey
on my lovely song
but i like ung.mo n bell-eyre n toofast n tearitallaway
there ok
they dont ruin the songs, do they?
almost with you is a bit stupid but it was 1981
actually its too much grief thinkin’ about it
and all the money wasted on stupid vids
that we wouldnt ever see
(we never saw the money/we didnae wanna see the vids)
sk at loggerheads with someone or other
fuck it!
i do wanna do no more vids
and now i olde n ugly its better that way
cherch n vids dont go
yes yes
tantylised only really good one
i think utmw rather silly actually
theyre all just sorta mediocre
it wassa dark day for music
when videos became de rigeur
criticising rock vids is like
shooting a barn with a shotgun from point blank range
there aint no point
their full ludicrousy and absurdity is apparent
many vid directors are admen down on their luck
failed tv directors tryin’ somethin’ different
they aint got the quals to reinterpret my fuckin’ lyrics
with their exploding toasters n long red fingernails
with their dry ice n men dressed in overcoats
with their close-ups n fade-outs
they didnt have the vocabulary
it wasnt sposed to be seen
it was sposed to be heard
the opposite of children….
listen
dont get me talking
i hate most of our vids
and most of everbody elses
occaisionally a good one comes along
thats quite a trick!
but most are music-killing rubbish
utter n vile tripe
of the highest philistinic order
visual anathema wanna make ya tear yer eyes out
rather than watch its shallow bloated nonsense
you should read the treatments ive been sent
ive been stunned by the stuff thats been suggested
in the end you have to try n trust somebody
xyz records wasnt gonna give olde sk the budget to make a vid
besides i didnt know how to do it either
i didnt wanna do it
videos ruin my songs
so the whole thing is a tricky n painful subject
out of my hands
beyond my control
just getting me upset
then n now
breathe deep
im gonna let it go
goodbye
sk

ya see
now im working for ya
i respond so much quicker to yer ree-quests n dee-mands
and a very pithy commenter yesterday
was saying c’mon kilbey stop complainin’
you were in it for the money n fame etc
and yes my perceptive friend
thats a given
i still am, if it comes my way
but that dont mean working with idiots aint painful
in fact
does it have anything to do with it at all?
kinda…..
i guess
i confess
i thought you all knew
i want(ed) to make beautiful music AND lotsa money
after all at what i do im one of the crem de la crems
a crem de menthy
i see no real contradiction
one does not cancel out the other
im a master craftsman of songs in the melancholy school
of course i wanted reasonable remuneration (a fortune!)
and pear group recognition (divine fame!)
baybee who can ever realy say what their motifs are
i wanted the glory the money the lurks n perks
n whatever else they was givin’ out
but that never cancelled out my desire for lovely music
can ya understand this important distinction?
i hoped for the cash
but i never delivered you trash
(beginning of sk rap?)
i bet michaelangelo gotta fortune for the cistine chapple
he should have
just like me baybee
i did score big
for the greatest melancholy album ever made
by anyone anywhere
thats right
p=a
i got 125 grand publishing advance on that one
my one big kahoona ever
1991
wow
the xyz conglomerate
coughed up a hundred n twenny five gees for my next batch o songs
and they got their moneys worth too
these are great songs especially for the times
everything i’d ever wanted to do
i finally did on this record
the fucking widescreen cinematic wraparound
the walls of noise
the snaky bass lines
the infinite varieties of guitar sounds
i loved gavin mckillop
a producers producer
a funny clever shrewd warm hearted scotsman
he n i made a great team
we both wanted to make the same record
marty n peter both firing in top form
jay dees excellent n inventive drumming
+ his calmness and voice of reason
unfortunately i was in the “honeymoon” stage of opiate addiction
it was like ye olde devil sittin’ there waiting
till i finally cashed in a little
and he calls in the demon handling my case
an’ he says
ok now break out the heroin
i also was smoking eating drinking opium
anyhow anyway
you can hear it on this record
the ponderous slowness n depth
the warmth n sickly sweetnesses
the disconnected voice
turning dark words
its a masterpiece
rolling stone said at time its rotten
rolling stone in new encyclo says its brilliant
masterpieces arent easy to swallow
fucking hell!
some people buying a cd arent even looking for a masta-peece
they just want that tune they heard on telly
and maybe some more like that
they dont neskaserrily want the rise n fall of western civ.
as described by a rocknroll band
we wrote it easy
i was indeed connected into some opium universe
its like a mousetrap
i mean
a mousetrap kills the mouse
but it DOES have some cheese, right?
so for a very very few months
the opium n smack filled my head with ideas
new ideas
ideas i cant articulate or i woulda actualized ’em
sammy tailor collaridge type ideas
grandiose vistas
whole lifetimes in one opium dream
most is gone upon awakening
but the poet can struggle to recount
a tiny reflection of the vision
this then
was
p=a
what more is there to say?
i wrote the lyrics in feverish trancelike states?
yes i did
i snorted white powder off a black piano
and i wrote n wrote n wrote
i was like a receiver of messages from somewhere else
it all came whole
i didnt write it
i dreampt it up
the six string bass lines
the keyboard lines
dripped from my fingers like i been playing em forever
the other guys all brilliant too
they were high by osmosis
they were picking up
on this thing we were stumbling into
i smoked joints full of opium
a new way to get high
i saw the pot as the treble
the opium as the bass
the opium was playing my white six string bass those sessions
now my mother will say
why oh why sun all the drugtalk?
because thats the thing about this particular record
i paid a terrible horrible price
i still am
no one gets off scot-free from the gear, the scag, the stuff
but nonetheless
jesus
its an english tradition
poet + opium = good(for a short time)
sorry
thats how i saw it
i dont now nessacelery
its half true
please keep yer indignant antidrug comments to yerself
i aint glorifying it
or am i?
i cant tell
you’ll have to be an adult n decide for yourself
if you think im being foolish
thats ok
im just an olde olde rocker
spinning a yarn about some stuff
that happened a long time ago
some of the other people involved
occaisionally indulged
others like jay dee
were dismayed when o.p 8
reared its very ugly heads
but thats the biz
drugs booze women plane crashes greek mythology
i wrote swan lake for my new twins e n a
it got some good reviews
someone wrote in mm or nme or sounds
that the record would have all the shoegazers
running to their mummies to ask for new fx pedals..
ha ha
i liked that
p=a is an effected record
its cavernous reverbs
its pre-echoes that suck up to your earline
backwards things swoosh by
fizzy percussive zit zit zit tshhh!
the guitars!
mayhem n delicacy
these guys finally emerge as themselves n no others
pk paints huge backdrops n delicious melodic neo-classical
mwp screaming hovering howling pretty
jay dee bang bom boom boom boom
bass goes throb a throb a throb
can you hear the whammy bass?
thats the six string bass high up on beginning of olde flam
i felt sure we’d made a marstabiece
it seems
however
the world in 1992
did not want
an opiated pre-raphaelite swooning album/poem
but it wanted pearl jamb and
i oh i oh oh im still alive
and stone temp-hill pykelets
and wait till the dogzza found her…
so boy we copped some bad reviews
and boy
did that confuse me
i’d gone n done it!
we’d gone n done it!
me embarking on junkiedom n hard times
mwp embarking on all about eve
pk embarking on solodom
jaydee embarking back to other gigs
g mc k embarking on to other gigs
i still reckon its brilliant
its my berlin
its our #3 record
its our diamond dogs
our systems of romance
the fact that it flopped enhances its appeal
you gotta love it more cos no one else did or could
it deserves your love
its a nice record
its cool
dig it
if
you
can

sk

x