The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

now ive gone n done it
just like always
just like when i was a kid
just like olde whatsisname said it would be
my oh my
i gotta recognize this principle
the more you try to be
the more opposite you are
thats one of the conditions i guess
the conditions that we operate under
the human conditions i think theyre called
but even a fool can see
i mean even me
that almost everything we have strived for
has had an almost opposite result
like you become what you hate
and how little richie rich kept throwing away his money
and then stumbling into even more and more and more
and how AA n NA gotta give it away before they can keep it
and the calm before the storm
and trying to push a marshmallow into a piggy bank
and how people fight for peace
and they love to hate
and
i suppose you get the picture
and how the real secret of life is this:
go lightly n carry a big stick
im 52
i want my wisdom n i want it now
i wanna be wiser than the wisest guy
so wise….
well if you cant be young
ya maya swell be wise
is wise sexy?
is wise the new rich?
is wise sending the right message?
gee this wise thing….
cmon, cant i be wise for a while?
cant i ponder n consider n pontificate?
cant i come up with some nifty little aphorisms?
ya see being just a bit smart is getting real tiresome
ive been a smartarse for so long
look i’ll give away nearly all my smart for some wise
i just need a little bit of smart…
to protect me from the other smartarses
they mightnt dig my wisdom…
hang on
i wanna be so wise that even a smartarse will see it
i wanna be so wise that annoying insects n children will cease their bother
so wise that gossiping ratbags become calm in my presence
preferring to read the sutras of buddha
or hesses journey to the east
wisdom…huh…whatta commodity
fuckin scarce on the ground these days sunshine
i tried most everything else now
be there wisdom!
go go
i’ll tell ya this much
i dont think its complicated
i think its real easy
like the first time ya realise ya can swim
something ya always knew
its just gonna dawn on ya
its just gonna kinda illuminate ya
but still
you cant really trust me yet
not until i get my wisdom
im just a baffled punter like you
who got lucky n stumbled on some good tunes
i made up some words you liked
and you saw my picture
n you thought
how quaint
and you read my name
and you thought
hes alright, he is
and you heard my voice singing
and you thought
i could do that
and then one day
the easiness of it all appealed to ya
and you pulled out that credit card
or you reached into yer pocket
and you thought
hmmm
im gonna buy that one day
and the day came
you remember that day dont you?
the fluffy clouds skimming the azure heavens
or was it the the dark eastern winter day
at that little record shop by the train station?
well you took me home and you put me on your stereo
and chances are that you liked it
cos youre reading my bloody bloggie
all these (many) years later
and now
youre thinking
wheres my wisdom?
and youre all patiently waiting for me to say something wise
but instead im telling you about films saying this world is doomed
someone says let those fucking babies melt
and even i know thats not wise
unless you planning on growing some gills
and george
how many amoebae can you fit in a taxi?
and what if a moeba jumps in n says
take me to the germin’ embassy?
and still that ice be thawing
still them prisoners be bound to the ground trial-less
still them evil villains are keeping the solutions to emselves
until its too late
would ya rather be a rich man in an inferno
or a poor man in a paradise?
or a reasonably well off dude in ohio with a smartarse wife?
or someone recovering from something nasty?
or a faded rockstar playing in a vineyard?
or a new born baby inheriting this chemical slagheap?
or are ya just here to read mattdavisons comments?
or did ya come here by mistake n think “fair enough”
or do you still hope for some erotica?
or more about the recording of heyday?
or are you one of the ones hanging back
thinking” what am i reading this bullshit for?”
are you my brothers or my daughters checking for mentions of yerselves?
are you my mothers saying sonny dont swear please
are you my father saying i’ll be waiting here for you slim the day you die?
are you my sisters saying steven where are your sons?
are you my sons saying dad where are your sisters?
are you the cia collecting a file on anyone who says the word “bomb”?
are you pleased with yourself that i have failed to categorise you thus far?
all this but still no wisdom
all this but where is that hit of pure wisdom
like a shot of the good stuff
like picking you up n setting you straight
so i can wade in and put things right
cos its not enough being able to play bass guitar quite well
now i wanna be a sage!
please please please
sagehood for sk
a seer…? sure!
excuse me but this seems a stupid world
the worst idiots (mostly) are in charge
they are ruthless compassionless greedy swine
laughing at their own brazen success
and the limpness of the masses
they certainly do not have wisdom
they most certainly dont even have common sense, most of em
never mind
lets keep on rockin’ in the free world
hey you heard the new bjm demos yet?

what do my four front teeth n
antarctica arctic n greenland all have in common?
theyre all disappearing….slowly but surely
yessaday tooth quack shows me how they look behind
yessir those fuckin’ teeth are eroding away
i am down to the dentine
pls stvn says the jewish south african dentist
in his weird clipped accent
give me smthng to wrk wth
meaning if 2 much more wears away
then he wont have a good anchor bit
to attach new 1600 hundred dollar crowns to
4 of em…
how much is that i wonder…
quick as a flash the little bugger comes back with
sx thousnd fr hundrd dollrs stvn
(and then this is kinda hilarious caper this joker loves)
and then he yells to his receptionist
book stvn in at 8 am tomorrw fr fr new crwns
ha ha ha
he slaps me on the shoulder
but he wants to do the teeth
we discuss the time-frame my real teeth have left…
he shows me 2 fillings that are being uncovered
by the disappearance of my enamel
he tells me when they start to emerge that i’ll have serious problems
still i dont wanna believe him
but i can tell from comparison with past times hes shown me
my enamel is just about gone
kinda like …yeah north south n green
last nite i finally get around to seeing al gores film
of course its shattering
its like the teeth
it has to be sorted immediately
if it can be sorted at all
god
dont we all love this planet more than having stuff?
who can tell china not to burn her coal?
and i still bloody was crying from where you see the old footage
of bushs outrageous n brazen perversion of justice
the olde fuck democracy i was born to rule
and i was livin’ in america then when it happened
i cried then
i cry now
for all the needless strain
needless deaths
this absolutely useless idiot has inflicted on this poor world
anyway
jesus i have to tell natalie to turn it off half way thru
its shattering
i know its taken me awhile to see it
i know most of ya have seen it
if you aint
heres the synopsis:
you know how this planet is running outta time…
oh you do…..?
but not in your lifetime right?
wrong!
this stuff happens fast!
today worse than yesterday
yes it is
measurably so
now i know you dont come on here
to read my boring take on ecology
but i been dropping a lotta hints in a lotta songs
(gee thats really doing yer bit for the planet, you olde phoney!)
no but what else was i supposed to do?
(why not come out straight n say it…like midnight oil..?)
cos they had that base covered…
besides i didnt want my songs to be topical..
stuff i’d read in a newspaper n tried to turn into a “protest” song
but all along in my attempt to reconcile this whole thing
in a perfect rock song
i have mentioned it over n over
can any clever students point out at least 5 sk weather warnings?
theres a bunch of em
get to it
i could tell it was all happening since the seventies
i had no idea it was speeding up like this
the clouds in the sky all rushing by
a stares justa backwards glance…indeed
baby we tried to take n take n take
and we all wanted a little bit of the cake
oh no no no
my mother
my sweet green planet
oh baby earth im so sorry we did this to you
what can we do what can we do
oh earth you was so pretty the way you were
dressed in yer lovely polar caps
n yer bulging tropical equator
and god had made everything work
just so
for now at least..
i dont know how it was or will be thousands of years hence n behind
right now
it was …oh so lovely
why i neednt describe it to ya
we all live here after all…
take a looka round
mightnt look like that too much longer
most of australia is fucked by drought already
the insects have gone bananas here in nth bondi at least
the ants invade n invade n invade
they bite us in our bed
the cockroaches are getting ready for the handover
they wont fuckin’ care when the average temperature on earth is 100
then they can rule as they pick thru mansions n hovels alike
we are the cancer
turned round n bit our hostess on her arse
she must be saying
why why why
did i give birth to you?
i watch the movie
everyone watches movie
we still next day jump in ye olde gas guzzlah…
meat
war
imperialism
fundamentalism
arms industry
its all one big sick joke
that our lovely planet
as big as she is
as beautiful as she is
could no longer endure
the “straights” are fucking it
the “bohemians” are moaning about it
and greenpeace n al gore n a few
very few are doing something
christ what do i know
im a songwriter
i do love this earth
its all i know
and im rather attached to her
i assumed that my children n yr children
would get it more or less the same
now we have driven this beautiful world
to the very brink of ruin
you can no longer assume everything!
whatll go first…my teeth or antarctica?
for both now
its just a matter of time..
only difference is..
i can still get my teeth fixed…
love
sk

and theres some horrible jack hammer going out there
somewhere
im listening to levitation
one of the great lost bands
i actually met bick too, one of the guitarists…
im not feeling so great today
tho im not sure why….
kinda tired n uninspired
yeah baybee
even geniuses have their off days
and so do even i
and im not sure what to write to ya all
i ve done my swim
i went round the back of the pavillion where the trees are
i did my qi gong in the cool breezes
came home had a smoothie
thats it
i gotta get cracking on some stuff
but i feel enervated
it was a very hot still night here
breathless
i had dreams
struggling in the war n the music industry
what year was it?
jesus i struggled n struggled all night long
wrestling my daemons
performing tasks which unravelled at the last moment
can you imagine the horrors a mind like mine can dredge up?
i fought n i hid as i lay in my bed
in my mind i climbed up mountains
and i lived in a house by some coast
and i was trying to catch a plane
and i was waiting for somebody….
maybe even you
at a bridge
and there was a castle…just like in a dream-play too
im outside that theatre with my bunch of flowers
“victoria?”
another actor whose leaving says
she’ll be out soon….she’s coming
“victoria?”
she’s almost finished , she’ll be out soon
says someone else as they leave
50 years later im standing there still
my wilted flowers
my clothes in tatters
my white hair
“victoria?”
a worker comes out of theatre
she’ll be down soon ….she’s nearly ready…
etc
these dreams….
no rest even when we rest……
dream-lives
half-lives
in my dream i play concerts where things go wrong
to people who cant hear n arent there
only slightly more fluid than la vrai vie
my mind feels turbulent n then turgid
this is when i hate being me
time being for the time being
my nightmares have always had the measure of me
anyway that was last nite
today i have dentist appointment
i dont have the best teeth
i usually need a cuppla fillings every visit
and i aint been for a year
now i gotta hear my jewish/south african dentist
tut n i told you so
as he prods n probes the yawning nerve deep black holes in my teef
and racks up them wallet bustin’ fillings that im gonna be needing
now i musta bought this olde tooth quack half a lexus
having spent at least twenty five k on my fangs
the quack wants to replace em all with crowns
he says my dentine is almost all gone
oh only a cuppla grande each
and exruciatingly painful
and after a year or two if yer gums recede slightly
you got the metal bit at the top showing
anyway why spend a 4-tune on yer teef when yer this olde?
you could die 2-morrow and it’d be a waste of money…or what?
so im racing my teef to death cos i reckon i might go before them
uh …this is reading back a bit kinda…uh…negative or something
i should cut my losses and skedaddle
cheers to all kind subscribers everywhere
your contribution has indeed been of invaluable assistance!
paying my olde dentists exhorbitant bills
etc
see ya tomorrow….
or not….
sk

yessaday have nice day at bimbadgen winery
i manage to reconcile being a husband father n son n player
you see my lovely mother came to the winery to see me play too
it was a very hot day
we hadda nice drive up from syddley north n then west
we play the deluxe edish of born sandy devotional
we stop at forest of tranquility rest area
scarlet needs to be unleashed from her car seat for a while
shes been calling out like a baby whale in distress for a few miles
and i feel her restlessness filling the car
poor olde auroras asthmas been getting her down a bit lately
shes been coughing a bit and i wish there was something i could do
shes the most low-keyed of all my kids
i take her for a wee-wee and she keeps up a steady patter of quiet chatter
the bloody kids have no idea how much i love em
and actually they have no where to put all that hope n anxiety
so i just walk along with my hand on her shoulder
we drive thru the beautiful vineyards of the hunter valley
i feel a bit nervous
and i realise i gotta go from fambley man to joe rockstar in about an hour
when we get to the nice cool tent
my mum n her husband are there
mums looking a bit overheated
but im glad they got in alright anyway
n found their way backstage
theres 5 thousand people out there
security men
porta loos
cars parked everywhere
brynny powles is there too
and the doodles n bryn proceed to go crazy until we leave
this means running round flat out
screaming at top of lungs
n not listening to anybody
rikki tikki tavi from the brain-jonesing machete rock combo is there too
and we chat to ash from paul jellys band
who it turns out is a huge fan of the bjm
rikki is suitably embarrassed
we offer ash a smoke but he refrains
i gotta remember my licks he says
rikki n i both laugh
we only remember our licks when we smoke the ‘erb
if youre around after ive played… ash offers hopefully
i wasnt
but maybe rikki got ash to smoke (ha ha)
kelso wandered around with a very “model-y” looking galpal
and i talked to him briefly after i played
and i was glad that i set the record strate the other day
and ya know
im honest with you
and im honest with him
if i make a mistake i’ll own up
i tell kelso im envious of him
but he just smiles
he IS a very very nice bloke
and in a bizness full of idiots n pricks
you can bet its a rarity
the chirch play a bit of a struggley show
but we convert em in the end
block rocks their winery hearts
and we perspire but not expire
in the generous heat
i pose n ponce about
knowing my wife daughters and mother are watching
im up on the big big screen too
sweating n swaying around
afterwards they all like it
even bryn joins in
re-singing under the milky way for me
just in case i wanted to hear it again
we ate some food
hung out a bit
davey scotland n joe lee from baby grande were there
plus my brother john n zoe
the other guys work much harder than me
signing cds n stuff
but i hate fucking doing all that
so i just hang about talking to my mother
who asks where all the drinks come from
shes amazed we dont have to pay
“do you mean they just give you all these drinks?”
she says pointing to our black tubs full of ice n lemonade
n beer n apricot nectar n red bulls n red wine etc etc
doesnt she know that ya get free drinks everynight
which is a blessing im not overfond of booze
finally the doodles n bryn are running round the compound
going im a little train choo choo choo
i decide to join them
its wonderfully “empowering”
(i hate that word)
i get in touch with my inner child
(not that hard to do for me)
and i make a right goose of myself
(as usual)
but then how many 52 year olds
can run round yelling im a little train?
we leave earlyish
im sure i missed out on a party
n a tearfull goodbye with chrissie
but what the heck…?
nice drive in darkness
the falcon devours the miles
a smooth beast
at last
i get a bargain!
anyway
when we get in its nearly midnite
but the bumper whose slept most of the way
is laying down the law
and her earsplitting scream is her power of veto
bumper had a good day at bimbadgen
getting lotsa women (n men) all clucky
and she fitted in pretty well
but now at home
shes grumpy n raining on my parade
my oh my shes a hard lady to handle
anyway today is sunday
have been for swim at beachy already
very hot n steamy
now im off work for a few weeks at least
ah relaxation…
uh oh her comes the bumper
better look busy

today is bimbadgen winery
the last gig of pretenders tour
chrissie said “nice gig” or something to me
as i walked off last night
then she thanked us from the stage
its sad i woulda liked to have been her friend
i mean we both vegans
we both vehemently anti-meat
we both olde
we both play in bands
you see…we had a lot in common…
nevermind
fair enough
but i guess im gonna kinda miss her…..
and …wow….
whatever ya say about her
shes unique
she picks up her guitar n opens her mouth
and out comes something no one else can do
and shes a cool woman in a blokey boring showbiz world
today im taking the whole fambley up to the winery
tims daughter bryn ‘ll be there too
shes a few months younger than the doodles
she looks like a 3 rd doodle too
anyway i guess kelso ‘ll be there too
with his sentimental bloke routine
and the chirch
rocking in the wilderness
under fair blue skies
before the pissed punters
scoffing down the fucking claret n merlot
the sweet stickies(bimbadgen the best)
the cab savs
the shiraz baybee
whatever i dunno what those punters get pissed on
but we get em at 5 in arvo semi pissed n in the sun
rocknroll my brethren
supporting the nicest man in the world
and the best chicksinger ever with about 25 hits
theres the chirch
in the sun
in the rain
standing in a carpark in ohio
or coming to a deadend in the snow in norway
or a midnite cafe in cologne
or a trailer at a festival in orange county
stopping for a can of red bull in arizona where its a hundred n fifteen degrees
hanging round a rat infested alleyway out the back of 9.30 club d.c.
driving thru hail
sleet
bushfires
roadblocks
snow
brainstorms
alien sightings
missing members
breakdowns n start-ups
oh god we’re going the wrong way
no seats on plane
baggage complaints dept
is there anything vegetarian ? dept
but thats only 2 n half hours sleep! dept
the early morning wake up
but you cant wake up
standing in a market square in italy miming tantalized
on a tv show in rome knocking out reptile thru tiny amps
making a video next to a weir in victoria
flying into paris lonely at dawn
hostile customs officers grope thru my belongings
a cafeteria somewhere a fly lands on a sandwich
jumping in the cab saying goodbye goodbye goodbye
up all night on a ferry with a lucky streak playing roulette
black 13
ahh……yes!
in the mud at roskilde
on flat green lawns in holland…pop in the park
arguing in a marquee in dallas
or bumping into damien lovelock at an airport
or seeing thom yorke shopping duty free at heathrow
or having to flush my stash in switzerland n then NOT getting searched
doing yoga on a stairwell in florida looking out over ft lauderdale
standing outside a hotel having a fire drill
stopping for a wee on a lonely stretch in queensland
visiting somebodies mum somewhere in connecticut on thanksgiving
but our black busdriver wouldnt come in
sitting in business class on finnair with a crying aussie roadie
all the business men crossing n recrossing their legs
getting my guitar nicked in nyc
the sumptuous dressing rooms
the tiny black holes of horror
being accosted by complete idiots
being loved so much that youre hated
being disappointing
being ordinary
being tired
being in time
goodbye
goodbye
goodbye

yes blogge fiendss
its the olde killer back here on the prophet margins
riding shotgun on yer shopping trolley
sorting the metaphysical wheat from the chaff
dotting yer eyes and saving you all those nasty commas
well i hate to name drop
but last nites ride to penriff special guest star
was rikki or ricky or whatever permutation he use to spell it..
(why cant everyone be called steve….?)
who of course is the lead rhythm geetar player for the brianjonestown mascara
who actually get mobbed….
that little devil gets me so jealous when he tells me
the bjm get mobbed…?!
why…i aint been mobbed since…
hmmm..lemme see
well once i think i might have been standing in front of simone le blobs chauffeur
and got mobbed accidentally
actually when i come to think of it…
do i really wanna be mobbed…?
its a little like being razzed at school
a whole loada strangers grabbing at ya n kneeing ya in the balls
anyway rikki is in the most bohemian band in the world
they make the church look like the new christy minstrels
and his girlfriend is a yoga teacher
and he lives in san francisco where hippies were invented…
i mean how much more fuckin’ bohemian can a bohemiann get…?
so we drive out to pen-riff way out west
its pretty surreal out here for me
i mean it frightens me a little out here in this farflung satellite
man they never used ta particularly like the church out here way back when
we drive into the ginormous penrith panthers footy club
(do they let mangey panthers in for free tho?)
this place is as big as a small mall
and guess what
the people here are
super super lovely
and although i dont have my tour pass
they happily lead me thru the huge gambling caverns full of pokies
and a lyric comes into my head unbidden
i am a addict
the ice or the dice
theyre both as nice
*******************
anyway
we finally get to ye olde dressing room
and the others wander off
i try to do yoga in dressing room but the ceiling is low
n theres fluoro lights
n i can hear the drums being soundchecked…
i get a bit of fettucini with mushies n peas
but none of that rancid foul parmesan cheese
we have to smoke spliff in the tiny bathroom in dressy room
rotating to get under the fan that sucks the air outta the room
gee i wonder where the smoke goes after its sucked outta here i ponder
probably straight into the managers office says someone
oh wow i hope so says rikki with a glint in his eye
no no no i say suddenly paranoid that the penrith panthers footy team
will bust down our door n cart me away screaming
anyway no heavies consequently materialise
so we asssume the manager enjoyed his whiff of neils purple heads
the cherch play a good show
the crowd are nice n kind
everything is ok
glenny drives us home safely
while i pontificate on about this n that
the grey-blue falcon purrs back into distant city
we listen to closer by joy div
today is today
cood only manage 10 laps of pool
too much red bull n coke
too much booze plonk n romance
too much
but no more or less
goodbye penriff
if you wanna see me again i may be available
tonite the state theatre again
almost like having a real job
we should have a good one tonite!
sk