The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

killaboy sat down at his little off white computer
oohh that rsi smarts but he perseveres
you know that killaboy cares for you
you can feel it
in these words he keeps writing
we are in the real universe
where nothing adds up
what are you trying to say killaboy
say it say it say it
oh my shoulder
type with left hand
thinks of something to say
gets a littlebit atta time
cant remember what he wanted to say
house is momentarily quiet
my ears ring
shadow of sadness
time flows out of the day
the sun shines thru a hole in the gathering clouds
night waits in the wings
patiently in darkness
ready to take hold again
summer and its promises have fled
leaving this greying afternoon
leaving me here in my may
then came the last days of may
the baby sits on my lap
continuity in action
blue eyed baby
her eyelids impossibly lilac
she watches me type solemnly
she waits impassively
warm soft heavy on my lap
my brother comes over
the baby stares at him the whole time
sulkily
the sky is rent with golden slices of light
the baby is deep in thought
something so liz taylor about her
been typing with left hand
muse: where is the renaissance man today?
me : he hadda day off

sudden
there
its the alleviator
beautyful one
oh alleviator
undenying unphased undulating
swirling around my ankles
avenue in my mind i walk on
poet of the debris
a major prophet
filament of light
light headed n all
remembering you in my prayers
try to see you
you are uncommonly bright
somedays i can
somehow you will
alleviator come to me unbidden
show me your panacea
give me calm then
let me choose my wishes carefully though
dont try to trick me
dont slip away without a word
give me at least some satisfaction
let me see your starboard face
and your tongue of port
your colossal charisma that perpetuates thru weed gardens
mosaic hero of the good fight
unseen orchestrator of fortune
uncredited writer of the soundtrack of my lives
unauthorised soul intruder and slippery felon
oh alleviator give us content
write a story i can believe
cover me in silken chains
call me long distance at short notice
teach me the art of paradox
within paradox is truth
and all truth must contain paradox
or it is some feeble truth
unstretched by paradoxes hard edges
like lord vishnu says
i am this
and i am not this
until i can really understand that……
i realise yoga is indeed white magic as crowley said
to get in sync with myself
and then sync that up to the big thing
thats the great work
or dont work at all
your choice
the alleviator dont care
the alleviator impartial
the alleviator meaningless
it hurts to think
to think it hurts
and it feels like a joke
sometimes no hope for a no hoper
no return
spend your time wisely
you will not be re admitted if you leave
cmon alleviator dont play with me
dont give me im too busy
or
cant it weight
dont hand me a second hand second hand
and say
the clock is ticking over
let me see my contract again
i shouldnt have to ask you
shouldnt have to use all my persuasion
then find out you were gone
all the time
in this midnight blue
like a blurry lamp in a fog
hemmed in some cockpit
racing towards me
atmospheric friction burning you up
pulling us apart
alleviator in your birthday soot
in your decorated austerity
in your silted dream and river eyes
in your car pulled by swans
in your doublesex n third eyes
holy mouth whispering pure filth
angled and finely wrought
like mithril or crushed diamonds
alleviator fill my poem with words you have chosen yourself
alleviator be me
alleviator come back soon
alleviator here i am
alleviator listen now
its high time in the low lands
they are flooded with droughts
things aint gonna get better neither
alleviator can you look into it
wish me success then
wave me on thru the barrier
stay till im gone
until they turn off the lights at least
and the little crowd have filtered out
into the misty night
the marine city
everlasting until now

winter falls into darkness
the silent worm in its lair
the mortals with a crush on life
the oozing of my thoughts
crackle of bones and fire
crawling feeling of nothing
bang!
and then
smoke
some kind of forest
snow
snow?
something moves
black icy water
something huge
the others
harpoon ray
white cloaked
stab!
residue
blackened underneath
not again
not again
not again
the thing endures
the huge dark thing is in my mind
who is me
who is the monster
they strike hard
a piercing shriek is heard
the viper is contained for a moment
the hooks falter
the ropes unravel
its free they scream
a lunge
damaged exhausted
griffin lamb
morsel offering
blade embedded deep
the beast struggles
primitive future now
its now
i rush to the dying beast
why did you do this i scream at them
them who are me
them in here
the they in me
i who are us
why why why
ha ha ha
they intuit for they do not speak
this thing is an abomination
nothing deserves to die like this say i
yes yes yes they cry
cancelled evening
no stars there
what will you do to me i ask
nothing they think
you will be nothing
no thing
a thing no more more or less no
no no no
never either
never to be this thing again
this thing you loved
this lovely thing
my monster and now my life
the life only i could live
alive whilst still alive
buried dead tired
stop now
youre making me sad said the beast as it died
and its tears turned into blessings
that flew up and became the new stars
and they said these stars are not for your eyes
and the others shot the blessings from the sky
who fell in flames upon the distant horizon
and when the world was again dark
they said come with us
where? i said
not where
when
now?
i said
they said
then

soon
will drive to ayer port
pick up fambley
back from 5 weeks in the u.s.
will the bumper still reco nize her daddy
will the doodles be happy to be home
its saying on internet the plane is half an hour late
but i guess i should go
just in case
i’ll have a smoothie at puerto for brekky
i’ll take my book n read (neverwhere by n gaiman)
four girls now
and 2 coming in july
i wish there was one other bloke involved in this…
its too late to have a son…..
oh well
you gotta play the hand thats dealt ya
six queens n an olde joker
does that beat a full house?

and then one of white hippy moses disciples
said
oh mangey panther
i have a question that troubles my heart
and white hippy moses
turned
and saw it was bon bon who had asked
speak up childe
if i can i will answer you
and bon bon spoke with trembling voice
oh wise guy
he said
how does one make love stay
and white hippy moses
said ah…..
first you must make friends with love
and then you must supply love with every necessity
bathe her precious feet in your scalding tears
make your softened heart her pillow of stars
bring her cloudberries with ambrosia and nepenthe
petition her with music and memories
refine yourself
purify yourself
make yourself worthy in her house
speak soft and just words
be a man of peace and light
wear simple garments
do not be afraid to be naked in her presence
reveal yourself as you hope she would be revealed
leave your jealousy behind for love has many lovers
bring love your truth and honour
bring love your finest self decked in joy and laughter
try hard for love, do your best
for love is easily offended
and can depart in a single moment
alas, never to return….

and the people who heard his words
knew they could be true
and all hastened to their own houses
to renew the search for love
sweet sweet love
forever and ever
ah man

this is so easy for me
everywhere i wanted to be
being in time
being in love
surrounded by the stars
enabled
willing at last and forever
5 daughters of my flesh
to carry on
the work
the great work
however they see fit
and somebody in the crowd, a baker
called out
what is the great work, white hippy moses?
tell us that we may share in it…
to change yourself
you are the canvas
you are the instruments
you are the hammers n nails
grow greater than you are
make mistakes n get up
thrive
revitalise
be resilient
be sient
listen!
who is whispering to you
deep deep deep down
so still
the water drip drop drip
air filled with soft humming
underground
blessed darkness
aware from the suns glare
blind transparent fish in black water
common darkness we all share
whence we come thither we go
vibrating the lords sacred names on my tongue
spitting foul blasphemies
do not enter until you are certain
when you open that dorr….
that door you have travelled towards
all your life
go through
turn back
what does white hippy moses care
only everything

dear fiendss
despite everything
inc ryans personal anti rsi video
which i been doing
i have a rsi condition
from typing on this blogg
its now spilling over into art n music
which i cant have
so doctor peter podcaste
has suggested a few days off
my deepest apologies to ya
i hope you dont withdraw too hard
(oh!)
i will be back with some picktures tomorrow
even writing this now is kiiling me
so aloha
sk
slightly too wound up
nth bondi
still working on project…

have an hour to write this before bloggers outage
listening to ipod again on noise cancel headphones
1st up science fiction by divinyls
must be nks track
this is 3rd time this has come up in a cuppla weeks
didnt like grown woman dressed as school girl
it confused me……
i never had a fetish for school girls
cept maybe when as i was at school
and im unsure why there is some tacit implication
that some olde women
(shes gotta be same age as me..)
dressed up as a lamb was sexy
the song is ok…i guess
ooh i should read her biography i spose
next ride
tongue tied from firing blanks
this isnt really what they do best
cos stripped of the noise
theres just some wide eyed jangly blim blam
so next
beechwood park
the zombies
its pretty good
but i heard it a lotta times
when i was “young”
until one day when i was very nauseous
i listened to this album
and forever it imprinted itself on me
and i feel sick when i hear it
…like a lotta music
ah ah
more slowdive
it just aint random
ive lost my manual
explain why it chooses some over n over
ignores others
yessaday played grant track then everything takes forever
off jacky frosty
howcome?
this slowdive is vey lovely
a modest waltzy instrumental
feel the sunshine by blank n jones
not my cuppa tea really
i got this cos my track is on the album
i guess cood come in handy
if youre with yer ladeee…
next
o children
nick caved
lyre of orf
fairly standard stuff
close to a parody now
forster n mclennan live in germany
if the devil had seen yer dress….
no comment
next
the byrds
i come n stand
oh achingly beautiful sad stuff
a song sung by a dead child from hiroshima
” im seven now as i was then…
when children die they do not grow..”
love this songs bleak beauty
tvc 15
wow the olde thin wide archduke is dispro represented
on my my poddo
anyone else getting this?
this is ok
not my fave…oh
part1 by yellow6
they got about 10 records
go get em
if you like this kinda thing
talk of the town by pretenders
perfect pop
this song unfolds in simple logic like a pop equation
nice stuff
is it really written about me….?
(no!)
dead bodies by air
love air but not this one so much
but air are heirs to that french movie gushing euro muzac
i love em
good for many purposes
especially perhaps as a musical background
for les games d’amoureuse…
moss garden by d bowie again
yes superb
farewell fire by boards of canada
tasty stuff
investigate this
because of you
bill nelson
a guy i admire
but this is meady ochre
not worth mentioning really why
its just disappointing
wait till summer the kinks
kinda dylany
or something
6 outta ten
more ride
from tarantula
kinda run outta ideas or something
deep inside my pocket
doesnt work when these guys come on tough
its kinda funny actually
weak….
thorn in my side
eurythmics
must be nks…
pass

the long n winding road
a funny alternative take
oh yeah
such a classic its hard to bee objective
king of rumbling spires by t rex
weird in between track
light all the fires …..
last track
inertia creeps by massive attack
oooh dark

thats it
today working on a secret musical project