The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

a pulsing red beacon swaying on a hill
gathered unto itself the entire folden valley
and as it pulsed as it lit up
it sucked at the strength of the valley
and the lights in all the houses went off
momentarily
as this great red light pulled the energy into itsself
and sydney a veritable fuckin babylon
who you kidding lady
this place is sodom on the sea
deep into the night i hear the sudden cries and groans
i hear women whimper in fear or some terrible erotic disgrace
sounds tower up and find me in the dark
they choose me
they empty themselves into my ears
they blot out everything else
even my deafened ears tune in to conversations from a mile away
the parties have degenerated into drunken roman messes
people stagger and vomit
the heat of the night
can you imagine it the heat the terrible heat
the summer night making everyone go crazy
the sea and the doof doof doof
the rivers of beer that washed down stupid necks
they bellow out there in the madness
in that overcolourised superimposition
meanwhile natalie lies there i say
what year is this madam is this 1837?
and she cannot answer
shh shhh i say
youve been dreaming of a future
and i stroke her hair
and i soothe her brow
what year is this my queen i ask again
and what new year eve is this
and neither of us can truthfully say
and the floor in our red room undulated
and i disappeared into other centuries for oh centuries
but when i reappeared i said to my love
why she was looking like marie antoinette
with the tiny blonde curls round her fevered brow
just like scarlet
and i said my love the fireworks
as we sat in the darkness
as the children thankfully slept fitfully
marie antoinette and i
her humblest footman or fool
watched the explosions in a sky
unable to tell what was where
and i wondered where i was
and what year this would be
and all the time
i was the the amorous service of that white queen
i gulped vodka and guarana and it swirled into my trip
like a wicked tornado
unleashing a thousand more beasts
i looked down at my tanned arms and my slender wrists
turning into the panther
in the darkness i growled
and waited to be fed by the zookeepers
for whom i had a nasty delicious surprise
in my mirror
i was adonis
i was a skinny olde olde boney man on his last new years
suddenly the real me breaks through
my eyes bulging black birds ravenously devouring the night
my hair soaking wet plastered againt my burning skull
i sweat and i sweat as i glide through the heat
i see my true face
i see my red smooth angular face
i see my face which fascinates me
i see my true nature
the english cad
the villain
the marquis
licentious unrelenting
seizing upon things
dave mccombs portrait pushes out of the paper
check this out i say as we watch
him try to break out of his portrait
his undulating face
he turns his gaze and fixes us
ha ha ha we run away
but it wont all stop
oh baby i want it stop now
but it wont
it wont let me go
i cant tell what im doing
i dont know what im saying
if these spirits have offended….

in the swirling caverns of slightly bent light
the words drifting down into the darkness
receiving nutrients from above
we are just men and women
we appear
we flourish
we wither
we disappear
some as useless as me
spin words out of the nothingness that surrounds us
impermanence is the swamp from which we crawled
oblivion shall be its name henceforth
this is where go
****************
2007 big deal
same old jive, clive
same old 123
same old news years revolution
delerious imbeciles high on idiot glands
their magicless music
causing enervation from 5 miles away
shield me from the rape and murder
release me from my bonds
ive had enough
ive seen enough
guess i needed another swing in the ring
guess i gotta shoulder my responsibilities
guess i gotta save money and save people
guess i gotta burn you a painkiller
who is there left to decipher it
why am i always idle yet too busy to do anything about it?
i hate kilbey
make him go away
im sick of his tricks
im sick of his dips
im sick of his me me me
im sick of him complaining about himself in faux 3rd person like this
im sick of the mess and the half finished detritus of dreams
im sick of the cockroaches and ants and mosquitoes
im sick of the fucking flies and the crawly little worms
im sick of the blocked ringing ears and the heat
im sick of the drugs and im sick of being sick of the drugs
im sick of that voice
im sick of that touch
inside im shrinking from him
inside kilbey
where i have been reduced to a point
in his confused murky skull
sloshing around in a shallow sea
the graves where he buries his old flames
still smokin’ after all these years
is death good
is death bad
is death a white lady
or is death just the cessation of life
is there a hell
will it hurt when i die
how heavy is my soul
will it be this year or the next
if i can get back , will i
or would that frighten you
if you go first then leave me alone please
can you imagine?
2007 a lotta people found out the truth i guess
lotta ways to go
lotta ways to get there
life outsmarts ya
life plays you along
life seems to care and not care
chance is chancey
mayas flames burn and burn
you learn the truth but you still go on in lies
kilbey makes a loada noise
kilbey chucks around some paint
kilbey strings up some words
kilbey becomes meaningless
kilbey is a concept youve dreamt up
your kilbey bears no relation to the real kilbey
the real kilbey doesnt exist
the kilbey you invented is a convenient rationale
no one cares kilbey
why dont you go
see you next year kilbey
go into 08
go into legend
go into shadow and obscurity
we know your tired
we know youve pushed it
we know you cant keep going this way
take the holiday you cant ever have
go away for a few minutes
have a dry cracker and an olde bottle of water
have you gone mad
is this the pendulum as it swings
did you want to make everyone else feel glum
oh sorry kilbey says
oh he looking old in this light
he seems unable to focus his thoughts
he mumbles
he tugs at his ear
listen
kilbey is whispering something to us
closer
closer
we listen
greybeard
thinlips
yellowteeth
whisper
whisper
whisper
what is he trying to say
listen so carefully
finally
we hear it
this is it
his message
have a happy new year
for the time being…..

2008
calenders spin
years tear off like pages and fly away
technology frightens me
its incessant insistence on change nobody wants
its intrusions
its cancers
its speed cameras
its unknown costs
my room full of invisible signals passing through me
pornography, astrology, hotmail, gmail, whole encyclopaedias
all moving thru the air
piercing me deeply
penetrating every organic thing
christmas an empty ritual
the children want the toys
the grownups need a holiday
ok
so we cut down pine trees
and wait for an imaginary geezer
to drop down our chimneys
people slurp grog and gawk at sport
what is this dimension missing from me
that i have been screaming for all my lives?
why does hardly one else seem to miss it?
why couldnt i have been happy with the tinny and tv?
what do i see in my crystalline balls for 08?
more war
more disaster
more politicians crooked bullshit
more people in jail
i dunno
a cure for this or that disease
men and women who sacrifice their lives
someone’ll get fat
someone’ll get thin
someone will run off with somebody else
life will become simultaneously easier and harder
islands go under yet water becomes scarcer
here in bondi
it is like a total beach resort town type trip
ferris wheels
dance parties
irish n english boys carrying slabs of beer
the new mexican palms a’waving
queues outside every restaurant
me n minna n vilma from sweden eat felafels
shady characters abound n then some
drunken pushy thugs n loudmouth bullies
oh all the things that will happen in this bondi night
the heat and the sea and the beer
people hanging off the rafters
the pubs are overflowing
aftershave
sex
youth
violence
money
alcohol
drugs
the promises of the bondi night
the parties full of cocaine and docile beauties
on the balcony yelling thru the cigarette smoke
walking along the shore at 4 am tripping outta yer mind
holding hands with someone you just met from fuckin bulgaria
getting hit in the head with a surfboard
sunburn and cold sweat
the sting of the light
the great european fear of the shark
and spider
and snake
smoking hydroponic weed and havin’ an anxiety attack
the jellyfish leaves welts
the sand is everywhere
in the grass small thistle like things are agony
the birdshit is corrosive…it melts paint in one or two days
the party pills can be lethal
people overheat and convulse on the wrong stuff
idiots roar down one way streets doing 70 miles an hour
parking police are everywhere about their pathetic tasks
old jewish bints in supermarkets rudely push in
parties erupt all over the place
voices call out into the hot breathless night
the sea roars
the music drifts
the losers cry
the winners scoff
the victims wine
the sugar daddies say “what are ya wearing?”
the cops say theyll help ya find ya wallet but dont expect to
the juice bar man says “whos next?”
perry says “pam left me..i got the bizness now”
pam says ” i left perry …i got the bizness now”
the hairdressers snip snip spray spray
the manicure joint cover yer nails in poison colours
the billboards screams best and worst bodies of 2007
the heroin dealer says ” i’ll be there soon”
the guy at the bar says ” my wife doesnt understand me”
his wife says to his friend ” ive never done this before”
the ambulance man says ” ok this is gonna hurta little”
the seagulls fight over the overflowing bins
taxis comin’ and goin’
buses wilting under the strain
the fashion shops open late
a market with jewelry sunglasses n massage
the coke dealer says no more credit
the real estate says your rent has increased
the garage says your blah blah is about to go
the world says be this be that
god says im busy
families clash and divide
things fall apart
the stars recede
the night fades
we are left
in nothingness

it said dont do it
but i did it
i did it for the hundreth time
accidentally
but i did it
what did i expect?
it was ok the othertimes
perhaps they were just being overly cautious
when they said dont do it!
hey steven says grant
what part of dont do it do you understand
dddont dddo it!
anyway
but i did it
i unplugged my pod from the lap top
before it said i could or should
guess what
i killed my baby
i shot my poddy dad
i erased her mind
i blew her cool
now shes empty
my laptop dont even know her name
nothing inside her
full of emptiness
deep sadness comes over me
move on! orders dr polinski
you gotta move on….
but but but
one ray of light
ricki myarmoury
that famed utility player
that guitar slingin’ hippy shaking beatnik
he can help me restock my poor empty one
but some stuff
oh dear
that was it
one offs n lost cds
gone forever magnetic heaven
magnetic field mice trapped in oblivion
today i am cold shut down in disbelief
my ear problems re-turned
cant swim
the kids going crazy
eg
i take scarlet kilbey out for a walk
she wont walk
like an obstinate mule
in the blistering sun
arguing the bleedin’ toss with a 2 year old
you think its funny
but
it ent
*
weather is hot
i feel blasted
powerless literally
nonetheless i percy-vere with yoga
my only saving grace
which almost cancels my other bad habits
but
not quite
fans blow in the house
cockroaches abound
flies buzz around and i swat at em
with my red australia shaped flysquatter
fuck em!
i love that feeling when you connect a good backhand
that ever so slight sound
as the fly gets knocked into its next incarnation
hey knucklehead
yeah you
you can ‘ave a fuckin’ go at me now
you know hypocritical bastard n all that
oh?
you didnt think vegos could swat flies and crush cockroaches?
well this one does!
or dont come in my house!
*
something is missing in me
my compassion…or something
i feel quite angry and restless and unfulfilled
i feel like i dont wanna hear loud noises
or be jerked around
im not hungry
or am i nauseous
should i be worried about my hallucinations
and the blood freely flowing from my hands
i am not crazed but im glazed over n underglass
sod off with yer happy gnu year
spare me your platitudes
no year is ever happy
time curdles in my eyes
and my paintings melt in arctic darknesses
that suddenly appear where my music was
i pound the plane
bound in one single chain
a killer and a heretic
yeah thats right
i think evolution is baloney
so is the war
any fuckin’ war
i think the “straights” are winning if not one
i think painkiller will increase the pain
i think im unbelevably handsome
until i look in the mirror
hey its not fair!
i know im 53 but…….
i believe in hindu gods
who whisper nectar-like
if your heart can ever still its noise
i believe that anyone who says
such n such happened 25 million years ago
is
guessing
i believe life is studded with dilemmas for us to solve
some have no right choice
a choice of agony
or addicted to painkiller
i believe its too late to ask
and i believe its too early to tell
im a smart little monkey with the words
aint i?
if i met myself somewhere
i’d probably punch myself in the doppelganger
im sick of myself
sick of my sick mind
minding my sickness
hobble bubble hippy dribble
toil and trouble
struggle time being
struggle in your delusory webbing and net
i contradict myself
outside myself
up myself
beyond myself
ego screams and screams and screams
quoting my words to myself
listening to songs i couldnt write
i churn out a series of souless seances
i learn a new language
i appropriate funds
i gamble and i gambol
i fleece em
but they skin me alive
i am angry with you
yes you
you know who you are
so so so so so
angry
with you
burning in my hot pitta temper
my mind like the sahara
with no compassion
no oasis of patience
no time for anyone
stop prodding me through my cage
take your implant out of my eyes
let my planet walk away unharmed
kill bush
kill whalers
kill killers
kill time being
kill anyone who disagrees
arrange the executions
execute the arrangements
i painted myself into a corner
i sung myself to a standstill
i gave n gave
i took n took
i lied to you in all honesty
i stabbed you in my imagination
i dived into the peeling back waters
i’m too big for you
its gonna hurt
didnt i warn you?
the children fight and laugh and fall out the windows
my car exploded and blew off my head
and my head gasket
i only have 3 eyes now
i am a reptilian devil dressed up as an olde hippy
i am the strangler of the deep
i am the masked foot of oblivion
i am the kiss of the marsh
i am a sinker
i am a hook
i am vicious bird attacking your back
i hurl insults at the dead flies
i cook my headless mind in a broth of ignorance
people chase me down my street
horrified by my ugliness
they string me up an pelt me with confederate money
voices next door
someone moaning and screaming
infuriated i go over there
and i burn the place down
i rob a river bank and send a duck bill
i writhe in my stupid impotence
i boil my existences
i audition for hell and i got the job
im tired of messin’ with ya
dont make me kill you again
i terrorize rockpools with my agent orange
i demonize satan
i impose on this universe
i crush and crash
i lash and bash
i am everything
you never thought
how good is that?

saw beowulf last night
at imax in sydney
biggest screen in the world
like the size of three story building
plus
it was in the new 3D
forget that olde malarkey with the blue n red cellophane
this is the real deal
look
i thought this fuckin’ film was amazing!
maybe the best cinema experience i ever had even
anthony hopkins as the olde king
malkovich as a slimey advisor
the dude playing beowulf was incredible
course they are in it and they arent
its some kinda hybrid computery doo dah
excellent stuff
only slightly ruined by angie jollys lack of nipples and genitalia
ok i can see the genitalia would not make it
then give her some pants
cos that smooth barbie nothing is ridiculous
but
the nipples
c’mon
a great big pair of bazookas yet no nipples
to me
thats more obscene than the nipples ever could be
jesus
how can a nipple be obscene?
can us grown ups be allowed see the anatomically correct version?
theres also a bit of malarkey with beowulfs whatnot
he strips naked to fight the first monsta
who is a falling apart disgusting ‘orrible thing
(like you know who…that olde singer)
and we can tell by the queens expression
that our hero fights with a broad n long sword
but from that point in
beowulfs anglosaxon weapon
is hidden behind all kinds of convenient things
now i know that people say i look like this guy
and i just wanted to see if we were really similar
in all respects
but now i guess i’ll never know
the film is marvellous in its 3Dness
when he dives in the water
the viewer is suddenly in water too
arrows and coins and blood and bodyparts whizz past
talk about really being there…
i loved this film
i wanna see it again
i give it five stars and two moons
a good one
see it!

dave mccomb looks out from a piece of good quality acid-free paper
his portrait is almost done now
could be easy one of my best yet
he stands in front of a blue sky
a silver lake (in silver paint)
trees and flowers
australian summer
everything is textured
his blue black hair
is a combo of paint n pastels
corduroy jacket
barky tree
leaves
in the endless silence
the dreamy haze
the wide open road
its midday now and shadows of love have fled
strangely enough mccomb is tracking down a familiar figure
miles away the familiar figure is checking his boiling radiator
while the girl simply known as the girl
sits in the car
waiting
we, spirit-like
zoom into this song-painting-reverie
what are we doing here
in this hot day
and this shimmering summer haze?
in the debris of childhood nostalgia
and the burnt australian trees
the sandy tracks running hither n thither
we see the man get back into the car
thinning blondish hair almost bald
strange blue eyes slightly askew
oh such a kind smile
broad shoulders
and small feminine hands
hes wearing a baseball cap and a striped tshirt
a pair of blue serge workpants
why its…..grant mclennan!
yes yes
now grant had told me this
when i had said
that the wide open road was spectacularly wide and open
he had said
and i deemed it one of his jokes
he had said
why steven
that road was my road too
no i exclaimed is this a joke
listen steven he said
look to the end of the wide open road
there youll find cattle….and cane
but why grant why i asked
and how do i fit into this?
grant gestured to the girl in the car
waiting for him to fix the radiator
she who was his
will now be mine
you mean that he…?
yes said grant
and at the very end
maybe even not there
he will give you the clue
that i am the quarry
the elusive otherman
i stole his baby
she broke his heart
now we drive through these songs
and youve painted him after me…
somewhere by a still silver lake
in a painting and several songs and a blogge
and now i guess
your imagination,
dave finds a still smouldering fire
or
a piece of her dress snagged in a thistle
he hears the birds calling in distant trees
he thinks about the girl
he thinks about grant
he thinks about grants songs
he thinks about heroin and he thinks about booze
he thinks how the band will laugh
when they hear how great this new song is
and he fixes his stare on a horizon
determined
forever youthful
gaunt and tall
a vengeful preacher cum lawman
a crazy angry frustrated fun lovin’ genius
a brooding jealous guy with murder in his mind
a lost soul in the west australian wilderness
a deadman trapped in some olde singers painting
his skin pastels
his hair gouache
the lake metallic silver that holly bought me
maybe i dreamed this up
was grant telling me the truth?
was that balmain or a hundred miles north of albany?
mccomb reaches out in the darkness now but shes not there
grant
how do you think it feels….sleeping by yourself?
listen steve
at the end
youll hear it cattle and cain
no grant
no i listened
i keep thinking i’ll hear it
but i never do
go back to the enmore steven
hold on, im coming with you
im almost with you steven ha ha! said grant
he talks to the girl in the car
the runaway girl
mccombs girl, now mclennans
he claps me round the shoulder
we are at enmore early 90s
theyre playing that song that one i love
that one i wish i’d written
the one i want to sing myself
you can sing it steven says grant
anytime you like he says
no grant i say
that song is not yours to give away
meanwhile the band come to the end of the song
where i thought the song and the painting and the road would end
but instead of an end
the band start to improvise around a theme
listen says grant
i listen
my hair on my neck is standing
the ghostly indistinct sound of the pedal steel
the keyboards stretch out like my gouache skies
the guitars interlock against the bass
and grant snaps his fingers
and i can hear it for a passing moment
that familiar riff
that passing nod
that brief allusion
so it was all true..?
i say to mccomb as he pokes through that campfire
he turns and stares at me and his lip curls
kilbey!
and he disappears into the trees
was it true?
i ask grant
still fiddling with that boiling radiator
while the girl waits
and waits
listening to that fremantle radio show
playing a mix of old aussie hits from the eighties
and grant looks at me with his blue clear eyes
that are slightly askew like jesus’ eyes
and he said
is what true?
my song
his song
your song
the painting
the girl
the eighties
anything?
finish the painting he said
sing that song
like you sing my songs
and you sing our songs
but…? i said
but what? said grant
do you think its ok with him? i asked grant
grant smiled
steven i am the last person to ask
and he gestured sadly to the girl
but
grant said
but i would hazard a guess
that hes probably quite happy
so go and do what you wanted to do
while you still can
steven
while you still are able to…..

north bondi
the family sways like a caravan
laden with towels and snorkels and buckets and hats
the white aromatic flowers
the honeysuckle
roses red and cream
lavender
purple berries
the variation in the leaves
the zephyrs amongst the foliage
the quiet of boxing day
the suburbs by the sea dream deep and green
the houses and their lovely gardens
only a few cars on the roads
the weather is perfect
25 degrees
a cobalt blue sky with unusual clouds
a thousand types of trees
red brick houses
mod apts with all cons 3 bed 2 bath
flats old and white
we arrive at beach
the water is full of tiny beautiful weeds suspended
the water is cool and refreshing
it is clean and energizing
i bodysurf the gentle hills of water and weeds
the sun illuminates the glassy bulbs and stems
gold glints in the sand underwater
the people are all happy
tourists from all over the world
big ones
sunburnt ones
beautiful men
hideous women
beautiful women
hideous men
fat kids
skinny old blokes
italian executives with their families
bondi locals with ferocious tans
rubbersuited surfers with cottonwool blond hair
the japanese surfers hair goes orange
young lovers
gays with adonis physiques
indians and africans
swedes and danes and all the rest
all on bondi getting slowly irradiated
under our ozone-depleted sky
yeah gonna be some sore customers tonite-y
scarlet in pink bodysuit with zip
the water makes her scream with delight
to her it is a permanent wonder
a man sells sno-cones in twenty supa-arty-fishal flay-voors
the kids indulge and hit hyperactivity in zero to a hundred in five secs
yeah yeah i know its bad for em
but i had that gloop as a kid and theres nothing wronga with me
as you can all tell by my omnipotence
anyhow the seaside was all you might hope
in this festering festive season
nice vibes
a great assortment of people to goggle at
some excruciating g-string things happning tho
no bloke can wear em
they look terrible on any man be he straight or otherwise
jesus they look bad on everyone really
whats the point?
why not just have a bare bum?
strangely enough
as the cheeks come out
the bosoms are disappearing
bondi in 80s was breast feeders pair o’ dice
i mean swing low sweet chariot and busty substances
funny how the sun and sea de-eroticizes it all tho
its hard to believe for some of my male friends in the u.s.
where bare breasts on beach
is of terrorist threat-like proportions
now that is seriously fucked up
why are a pair of boozies a dangerous thing?
beats me
i thought they were for feeding our children with…?
but im a hippy i guess
anyway i never feel good about seeing some euro pale bint
frying her bluetits in the sun
so im quite happy if they all stay inside
at least in max radiation hours 10am to 4pm
i think its lovely that everyone can swim down there tho
and no one gets laughed at or would feel embarrassed
tho i saw a woman today
a very big woman from england
with a tiny little husband or boyfriend
egging her on
as they frolicked together in the surf
lewdly feeling each other up and snorting
her bikini at least five sizes too small in some places
and five sizes too big in others
this massive woman had no backside to speak of
it was a flat plane
and her cozzie hung off revealing all
from which i couldnt drag my eyes
like watching a house burn down
or an accident scene
it seems half the beach was witnessing these shenanigans
but they performed their courtship rituals oblivious
to the curious humans on the shore
as this giantess left the ocean
her tragedy of a bathing suit hanging this way and that
her tiny white puny man followed behind
and in his eyes
i saw
the gaze of a man in love
and people
their love
made me
feel so
happy
yes it did!

i am the time beeing
i am 53 earth years olde
i am among the best and worst
i listen to oophoi right now on shuffle
i sit in my dirty crowded spare bedgeroom
i call my studio
on my eisel a portrait of david mccomb
stares out into space
and im proud of myself
it looks like ‘im
this portrait and an article im yet to write
will be for a book about mccomb/triffids
being put out by a couple of melbo academics
funny to find myself considered such an authority
david and i were rivals i guess back in the day
there wasnt room for too many angry geniuses in australia
mccomb was younger more spontaneous and weirder than me
i heard about this guy long before i ever saw him
how amazing he was
ye olde killa not like to hear this in 1983 or whatever
people threw the triffids in my face
before i even heard a note
the triffids do this
the triffids dont do that
finally they opened for us at the great northern hotel
i couldnt tell ya what year it was 82 83 ?
i saw half a song
delivered my foregone conclusion of judgement to myself:
fucking amateur hour.
you see the olde killer
neither cares for excessive professional showbiz malarkey
(eg bono chris isaak robbie willy-ams)
neither do i like youth club stuff
(arctic monkeys most punk bands etc)
well
i snubbed em in the corridor
iva always ignored me
and it kinda impressed me that he did
so i thought that was always the way to go
and i tried not to ever have to speak to anybody else
in the music biz
anyway someone told me later
mccomb had said
only a girl would like the church
(remember this was the pretty daze)
and that was that
till in 1984 the triffids got hailed as the next big thing
in english press
i was jealous and envious
in 1984 i was 30
dave was only 24 and he was killing it it seemed
unfortunately the triffids didnt make a lot of money or anything
but boy did they get good reviews
born sandy devotional was hailed as a masterpiece
bullshit i thought
holed up in sweden during a freezing winter
anyway wide open road came out
how could you argue with that song
i secretly(hiding from my own nasty mind) bought b s d
it was/is a masterpiece
now im painting david who i never really met
i remarked to mr g lee
that david would spin in his grave
to think of me singing his songs
and waxing lyrical over his abilities
no no said graham
he would like it
you guys are very similar!
anyway
david
if you out there with grant somewhere
im gonna do my best with this portrait and this essay
it will be an honour to sing with the triffids at the syd fest next year
im singing a load of really good songs
including my favourite
stolen property

had a stupid argument with twillies lastnight
at family xmas do
bad timing killer
but twillies leave their dad only 2 possible options
accept what we do
or we’ll storm off in a huff
listen
i told them
i told their mother n her husband
i told my brother
and whoever else
i dont even know what i want
i dont know what rules to have
i know i dont want em roaming sydney on nye
whoops shouldnt have used word “roam”
they seize on that
and flounce off yelling at me
i tell em sydney is bigger n nastier than stock-home
but jesus christ
they know it all
soon everyone is arguing with everybody
while the twillies have slunk off upstairs
to have fun with their friends
something in my heart says stop now
but i keep going arguing with the swedes
smoking pot to them is absolutely forbidden
while overnighters with boys can be tolerated
me: its the complete opposite!
i hate it when i hear myself arguing on n on
in a loud hoarse voice
this daughter dilemma is a tough one
i need more patience and faith
but some things i’ll never agree with
imagine what itll be like when scarlet is 16
and i’ll be 67
what chance will i have…
but dad all the kids have got implants in their lobes!
i dont wanna be a relic from some bygone era
but theyre pretty quick to cast you as that
if you disagree
with em climbing over fences to get into festivals or something
me!!!
the anti-“straight”
ex junkie poet and rocknroll zero a layabout a beach bum
now im the olde guy who never understands

thanks to h heart
and ryan whos no slow coach
for gifts
and isolde for keyboard thank you
anyone else
im sorry my room is an explosion again
the kids
the gigs
the ears
the broke-dom
the mess
the dope
if i forgotten your gift
thank you
really
i appreciate it
thanks for my subscribers
you are making it possible for me to do this
now
someone sent me some ginseng from korea
thank you my friend
its about a year supplys worth
that should keep my pencil well leaded
someone else from china
sent me some stuff
some medicines
i have no idea what they are
no english instructions
can you please give me some advice here
if youre reading this
ricki
if you reading this blog
ive nearly run out of stuffing for my soy turkey
and the stuffing man is having the day off
so get thyself stuffed if you can
before you come over
anyway
theres always tomorrow
and threemorrow
sk xmas 2007 n bondi aust

further thoughts on fremantle
when we arrived
there was a tight cordon of security
they wouldnt let us in the grounds
peter was coming the raw prawn with some big dumb sec guy
peter points at me
see him , hes a living legend
if he has to walk in, the crowd will rip him apart
the sec guy sticks his big head in to look at me
gee he thinks he sure dont look like a living legend
after a lot of argy bargy we are getting no where
look mate says sec guy
i been told no more cars
we’re fucking entertainers says pete
good says the guy now park somewhere else
in the compound a slim bald headed guy appears
hes dressed in a gold shirt and has a bunch of laminates
round his neck
is that the promoter says peter
it must be i say though i no idea why
i jump out and past sec guy
i walk up to the guy in gold shirt
im in the church i say
uh huh says the gold shirted one
they wont let us in i say
really? says goldman
well can we come in? i ask
he appraises the situation
yeah come in
he waves our car on
and the sec guy fades away
peter drives triumphantly through the gate
the guy in gold shirt walks off
wow hes got some clout here
an hour later the 1st band the smoking somethings go on
the guy in the gold shirt is the bass player
but isnt that the promoter i ask someone else
him? no! hes the bass player in that group. much laughter….
you see folks, its that easy
thats all it takes
to get in to a big gig
a bit of luck n a bit of nerve

i noticed that the divs played the 1st song
for a long long while
before lady christine joined them
in fact
the intro went round and round and round
it wasnt picking up any momentum either
eventually the singing started up
apparently
she was unaware the band was starting up
and was otherwise engaged
you see
all that organisation
and then no one tells the star shes on

in perth i buy nk some bath bombs for christmas
i buy myself a disposal shirt and some stupid iron on patches
my fuck you you fucking fuck patch
is not the hit i had expected it to be
hmmmm
airport
i peruse books
i see pleasure n pain chrissys book
i stand there n peruse it
hmmmmmmm….??!!!
lotsa intimate details in there
god
what a voyeur i feel reading this stuff….
all about charlie and mark m etc
i almost buy it
when i see ronnie woods book
imaginatively called
“ronnie”
woody
the arch diamond geezer
jack the fucking lad incarnate
instantly lovable madcap groover
smoking fags
snorting coke
free basing
drinking like a fish
jesus
look at him on the cover
nearly sixty
his amazing rockstar hair
long after keiths went thin and frizzy
ronnies rooster do is black as ever
perhaps the ultimate in old school rockstar hair
the missing link between keith n rod
talk about heavy weight names to drop
dylan this
clapton that
barbra streisand tony curtis
every blues legend still above ground
and of course
the ever present keith
the blue print for every guitarist ever
from izzy straddlin’ and joe perry
and one million others
keith
wild guntoting smackshooting drinking smoking keith
man
woody
and i tell ya
he is a great musician
his writing style is not that great tho
its a bit superficial
he talks about being locked in bathrooms
for weeks on end
freebasing cocaine
as if its all a bit of a giggle
maybe it is
when yer a rolling stone
and ya can give one to pms wives
and get outta jail free
and maybe it dont matter if you spend 70, 000 on coke
in a couple of weeks
when the dough rolls in like woodys must
or of course
rod and ronnie dressed up like doctors
doing gynaecological examinations of groopies
mmmm not sure how pc that is, actually ronnie
woody laughs it all off
hes just a very lucky geezer having a bit of fun
anyway its a pretty enveloping read
and i three quarters finished it on way home from purf

today
took kids for swimmy
blah blah
scarlet scared of me
when she wakes up and sees me here this morning
boo hoo daddy shes crying
she needs nk to bolster her confidence
anyway
i got wicked game and science fiction stuck in my head
which im thoroughly tired of by now
thats it
seasons gleetings!

free o oval
big rock show
seems they didnt sell many tix
they stick chris isaak on
but still not sold more
they give away loadsa tix
5 thousand or so
little birdy play before us
katy steeel sister of luke from sleepy jackson
tiny girl with hi heels
theyre ok
like pretenders 30 years later or something
they didnot project however
why…i couldnt say
we went on
we were intense
we blasted em with both barrels
i told a few jokes
they laughed
no lights at all it was 630 in summer
crying like a fire in the sun
we play milky whey
yeah hooray hooray hooray
we give em block
a half hearted kinda encore…?
nah
nope
thats it
we slap hands
hey we did well out there
chris isaak appears
hey didja leave something for me up there? he says
hes weird up close
lovely lovely head of hair
weird nose
like matt damon
the rest of his band are goofy chubby dudes
dressed in black cowboy suits
very nice
very friendly
they go on
its getting darker
the lights and smoke starting to work
they start up first number
its a chuggy chuck berry rocker
very basic stuff
the crowd go apeshit
in one second of that first song
chris isaak obliterated everything else gone on before
totally gone
hes got jokes
show biz routines
hammy gags with the other guys
he changes into a mirror suit
he has a loada local girls dressed up in skimpy cheerleader garb
they crowd scream deleriously
a whopper encore goes on n on
he kills it
he slays em dead
afterwards huge crowds rush his dressing room
the drummer chucks drumsticks
and people fight over em like 100 dollar bills
the divs go on
seemed they were strugglin’ but i dunno
we left after 3 songs
all the crew at the gig were telling us
oh boy you guys were so good
we should just do gigs for crew
anyway
there ya go
show biz
never work with animals kids or chris isaak
fuck
back to the fucking bars
signed
yessadaze manne