The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

my wonderful accountant sir david r
sent me the doctors of madness 2nd n 3rd albums
which i havent heard for a long long time
figments of emancipation, the 2nd, is a real corker
i guess it came out in 76 or 77
it got real bad reviews n presumably sold nothing
but its better than all them new wave records put together
i mean
whod wanna listen to the damned these days….?
anyway
its full of screaming violins and rocking guitars
and one of the best bass players ever….stoner
check out his superb lead bass on “marie n joe”
which is my fave track on the record
fluid lovely stuff
so hard to play a bass like a lead cos the strings are different
but listen to stoners melodic runs n trills just before
he collides with the guitar solo
the lyrics are richard kid stranges usual fare
alienation
drugs
love gone bad
all sung with his peculiar pronunciation
which somehow adds pathos to the songs
“and so it was we talked to the giants
the night air of summer turning cold on our skins”
“the boys in the backroom so cold and thoughtless
theyre insensitive, insufferable, insane”
gee i wish i’d written some of this stuff
when the church first appeared
the critics went on about the byrds and this n that
but there was more doctors of madness in what i did
than the byrds and all those other sixties groups
we looked like the sixties
but i was a seventies freak
and the doctors
be bop deluxe
cockney rebel
bowie
bolan
has always been my mojo
as much as i do love n revere bob n beatles n stones
to find my true sources
you must look amongst these records
a song like marie n joe off this record
probably spawned 10 of my own
not trying to imitate
but trying to re create this feeling
on my own terms
the swirling weird world of strange
his lugubrious pronunciation
the wild and brilliant violin of a chap named urban blitz
(warning: this may not have been his real name)
i love this stuff
gee its holding up well
marie n joe would be a great song in any day or age
real organic fucked up rock music
aaaah! those were the days……

we see our little project take wings n fly
how long has it taken axle-grease to finish
that guns n roses record….15 years?
well me n ricky justabout finish our backing tracks in 2 days
uh huh
and i aint heard axles but i just know ours is better
lindy morrison from the go-bes drops by
we get her to play tambo too
my my..is she besotted with our mr ricky?
fuck hes a good guitarists someone says
as el maymi slashes down a sizzling rhythm track
yeah …hes a visual treat too… she says watching him rock
i play some piano ricky plays more drums
we write 3 newies right there on the spot
i’m fiddling round with a d chord
pumping the bass a little
i move the bass note down to f#
which turns the d into some other chord
although nothing has changed in the top half
the new bass note makes you feel like the ground
has dropped away
or something
i bang out a couple of tunes on the piano
it all comes dead easy
i dont even fucking have to try
( voice in other room:sounds like it !)
the first thing i play becomes the song
rickys drums give the song more shape
we add twelve str n electric guitar
the songs blossom n grow
fingers moving out into the world
in strange unforeseen directions
we give birth to these barest bones
and they mature n grow n bloom
they turn into themselves
ricky is an amazing bloke in studio
he tirelessly rocks n rolls
except fot the briefest naps n cig breaks
hes there first thing with bells on
and hes the last to leave still with bells on
he has a truly excellent chordal knowledge
and a wide knowledge of popular music
and the way its all put together
hes taken the time to separate the components
and he knows exactly what it takes to recreate any classic feel
on drums or guitar or percussion
he did some great percussion while i went home early
and some of it reminds me of “all things must pass”
bass playing was reserved for jonny z
who is THE best bassist in aust
double bassist that is
he comes in
and despite some shockingly sad personal news
he proceeded to knock our dicks in the dirt
with his superb and instant takes on each song
during the psychedelic number
his bow screams across the strings and moans all eldritch
he is truly truly truly amazing
no charts
no nothing
he instantly learns the songs
he starts playing its almost always the right thing
n thats why i aint playing bass on this
now jonny z has given it the swing
by the way
if you are interested in hearing austs bess bassplayer in action
can i recommend “the sea”
which is j z’s solo album
its tres jazzy
its not rock
but gee whiz
its got that groovy thing
us rockers cant n dont do
www.myspace.com/jonathanzwartz
the day ended at 11 oclock after much weird weather
and fierce playing
hooray!

ok
heres where we are right now
k/k is now only 2 songs away from being mixed
simone polinski is mixing it
and its an aural treat
youre gonna love it
it is the opposite of painkiller
gentle songs
spiritual songs
simple songs
songs for love and special occasions
songs for early mornings in bohemia
songs for old souls
and guess what
m kennedy sent me up k/k 2 yesterday
the beginnings
so there ya go……another one off in the distance…
the church
(remember them?)
will have new album and 2 new e.p.s out soon enough
available and coming atcha
soon soon soon
wait wait wait!
gb3 nears completion
i love this record
thats being mixed soonish
me n thee mr ricky plus others
are starting on a new thing today down at the pav
we’ve been jamming thru the nites n days
trying to get a feel for it…..
hopefully will inveigle special guests
top secret tho
hush hush
say no moor
meanwhile
im doing a painting of a friend
cant get it quite right
i have to write my desert island poems list
for an article
i will be going down to melbo shortly
to appear with the triffids at hamer hall 29th
you should see this show
its a hyper feel good tearjerker and it spans
the entire career of one of austs most unique writers
a cast of thousands……
i cant wait for it, personally
i’m listening to songs every day
so i dont get words wrong as per film n syd fest
sorry….nerves….i get my own words wrong all the time
but its unforgivable singing someone elses wrong
IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN!
meanwhile i owe the taxman a fucken forchoon…gulp!
the move to melbo or anywhere is temp on hold
cos we cant afford it….!?
some dim lights appearing at ends of tunnels but….
these days i dont count my soy chicken triangles
until they thaw…..right?
thanks for your attention
thats all
please disperse quietly
the time being has already left the building

i

deer people
i feel uninspired
i feel tired
i feel old
i feel achy
i feel stupid
i feel useless
i feel decisionless
i feel precisionless
i feel like misspelling words if i want to
the red lines of the spell checkah
infuriate me
i feel so nihilistic
i feel like giving up
i feel like swearing
i feel like chucking in the towel
hot muggy morning in n bondi
i struggle but get nothing done
i procrastinate about procrastinating
i see myself in the mirror n i wanna be someone else
someone young n anonymous
someone who doesnt feel everything
some one just drifting along pleasantly
someone not taking it all on
someone happy someone good
a weird itchy rash on my arm
i want to rip it to pieces
i hear things that frustrate me
i read things that bewilder me
i do things that never see fruition
i lose god in my heart
an empty chamber where he was once in residence
i stumble around oblivious
i turn up for stupid things
i avoid the real fight
i make myself promises promises
i dont get my tooth fixed
i dont get my gmail fixed
i dont read n respond to all the mail
i dont get my room cleaned up
i dont get more n more paintings painted
i plot greatness
i achieve little
let me hate myself for godssake
let me truly quantify my loathing
for my evil twin sk
hanging about and ruining things
as per fucking usual
yeah
imagine it
thinking your the bees knees
thinking your the pits
simultaneously
i’m painting a guy
can i get his nose right?
no!
i’m writing a song
can i get the words right?
no!
this exercise was sposed to pacify me
but its just geeing me up even more
ok
i’m gonna do some yoga instead n hit ye olde pool
blather blather
i see the idjit is back on the comms
a pale shadow of his former self
please continue to ignore
ok
now
carryon!

as some of you may already know
the first song that truly captivated me
and set me on the path to writing words
was
angel eyes
my favourite and definitive version is by frank sinatra
and its on
only the lonely
a collection of torch songs
orchestrated by the incredible nelson riddle
im not even sure who wrote it
but its from the forties i’d guess
at 4 years old this song made a big impression on me
such a beautiful song it has captivated me for 50 years now
and ive been singing it recently at a sunday afternoon gig
where i’m playing with some real jazz cats again
the clincher for me to do this humble gig
was that i could sing angel eyes
the players all groaned
angel eyes is a bit of a standard in their world
a bit like asking a rocker for smoke on the water
or something
nevertheless i was determined to do it
and i did
and i thoroughly enjoyed myself…
in becoming reacquainted with this most extraordinary song
i still continue to maintain my fascination for these wonderful lyrics
ANGEL EYES

HEY DRINK UP ALL OF YOU PEOPLE
N ORDER ANYTHING YOU SEE

this was in the days when songs had proper intros
a little way in that was totally different from the song itself
this is a perfect introduction
a setting of the scene
all;so a great line for a singer to sing in a bar or club

HAVE FUN YOU HAPPY PEOPLE
THE DRINK AND THE LAUGHS ON ME

as sinatra sings these lines
the music turns minor and sad
wow
talk about world weary
are the people even listening to him
is he addressing a whole room
or is he muttering this behind his eyes…?

and then the song proper starts
a downwards double bass slinks off
a real smoky bluesy niteclub atmosphere comes down
the instruments all suggest and imply things
stories of love and deceit and heartache

TRY TO THINK
THAT LOVE AINT AROUND
STILL ITS UNCOMFORTABLY NEAR
MY OLD HEART AINT GAINING ANY GROUND
BECAUSE MY ANGEL EYES AINT HERE

wow
try to think
a strange way to start a song
who should try to think
him?
or the crowd in the bar
or is it general advice to all of us
or what…
the song manages to be macro n micro at once
painting in broad strokes
and noticing subtle little details..
but there remains somehow
the lingering reminder of her
angel eyes
he still calls her angel eyes
but now that nickname carries a threat
a sadness
a most bitter irony
was she just there?
did she just leave?
do any of these grinning boozing types here know?
the feeling of her presence still disturbs him
thats why its uncomfortably near
you dont expect to find uncomfortable in a song
but her nearness is a pressure on him
that excited butterfly sick kick in the guts
he doesnt know how its gonna make him feel
his heart aint gaining any ground….
his old heart nonetheless
for more sympathy
for more pathos
his old broken heart
cos HIS angel eyes aint here
she aint his anymore obviously but
him still claiming that she is also carries a threat
as if he will never relinquish ownership until……

ANGEL EYES THAT OLD DEVIL SENT
THEY GLOW UNBEARABLY BRIGHT
NEED I SAY
MY LOVES MISSPENT
MISSPENT WITH ANGEL EYES TONIGHT

evil and jealousy walk on
the devil is an angel after all
who better to confuse mortal men
and inveigle them with gorgeous traps?
the old devil sending out his agents of misfortune
her supernaturally beautiful eyes
oh who has not seen people like that?
now the lustre is unbearable to him
another strange word…unbearable
can you imagine a beauty so strange and alien
that it was almost impossible to gaze upon?
especially when those eyes had turned cold and vacant
especially when those eyes regarded you like a stranger..
and for christs sake
he realises now
his love has been misspent
and thats another weird word in a song
misspent
like a bad purchase
or after the act of love
when a man is said to be spent
its so obvious
is there any need to even say it?

now he feels cynical about her
but he cant help wanting her even more
for all her black magical help and callous disregard
he still loves her
it feels it may have not been the first time
that shes done him wrong

then
the song returns to the introduction
sinatra still urging those friends and patrons
go on get drunk
have a good fucking laugh
you happy people
oblivious fools
he doesnt care anymore
do whatever you like
then the third n final verse

PARDON ME BUT I GOTTA RUN
THE FACTS UNCOMMONLY CLEAR
I GOTTA FIND WHOS NOW THE NUMBER ONE
AND WHY MY ANGEL EYES
AINT HERE

hes outta here
in everyway
anyone can see hes been duped
they probably already knew she wasnt gonna show
hes after the after the new number one
whos slid up thru the ranks
of the men who jostle for her favour(s)
sinatras slipping out the love charts
i wonder what he intends to do about his rival
when he catches up with them…?
anyway as one last attempt at dignity
and harking back to the black magic
the music changes key for the final line
SCUSE ME
WHILE I DISAPPEAR…..!

perfect!

the phoenician night
black as nothingness
i am a cruel man
i am a proud merchant
i am a powerful old bastard
i order my slaves to play music
i eat and drink splendidly
i clap my hands and women appear
i clap them again and they go away
in tyrus is a garden
where i go and smoke lebanese hash
and opium from persia
garden of earthly delights
i bathe in its pools
i lie in the shade of its cedars
i dream in the fleeting shadows of the afternoon
in tyrus i have meetings with people
murderers
courtesans
sailors
magicians
down in the walled harbour
down in the old part of town
with my silver
with my knife
with my man who watches out for me
with my explicit instructions
with my plaited hair and forked beard
wait in the darkness
listening to the sea
listening to the seabirds
listening to the wind
blowing through the phoenician night
and on
into africa

kilbey this
kilbey that
get me another kilbey……
my kilbeys been tampered with…
kilbey said what?
boom boom boom
the boom has burst
live long the new boom
let it bloom again
let the flowers be strewn
dionysus rides in
on a milk white ass
ectstatic rites
the revellers come
the mysteries
as night falls down on us
hot and surrounding
i surrender to drink
yes i lose my head
yes i cant believe the things that we do
the moon so soon
grecian night full of gods
bass guitar pounds in my nerves
i separate and cool off
i evaporate from skin
in the black and harshness
weaving and dealing
giddy lidded middle man
lurching from one thing to the next
hammer on hammer off
a lyre is blearily plucked
someone laughs nearby
in the distance there is a scream
in the sacred groves
the slave girl from thrace….
is she too an initiate?
lover and handmaiden
to the handsome god of wine
under a spell of love
under a sky of stars
i no longer kilbey
voices whisper in the night
i sit stroking a lion
i eat a peach
i under the trees
i mingle freely with unhumans
i move like an arrow in a glade
i disappear into your flesh with a grunt
i follow the white light out of my skull
i die
i remain
i die
i remain
i strip down to my mansuit
i entertain momentous thought
i collect myself again
i appear before you at your prayers
supplicating before krishna
petitioning lady maria venus
i wake up in some future morning bewildered
look in the mirror
some new stranger
his eyes black n huge
his look wild n dissolute

no daddy no
miranda screams at her father
who kicks at the grovelling monster at his feet
no daddy stop now daddy
she interposes herself and begs her father to stop
her father gives the sobbing thing one last hefty boot in its guts
before he staggers back exhausted
shaking with indignation
you fucking …….MONSTER!! he shouts at the monster
the monster begins to talk
its speech is racked with sobs and shivers
its voice is deep and sad
why master why? it manages to burble out
ssssh! monster sssshhhh caliban ! says miranda
dont you touch that thing ! thunders prospero
the monster snorts and hisses
what? demands prospero
you dare put your paws to my childe?
his grey eyes filled with clarified anger
what is this?
the monster seems undecided
whether to attack or supplicate
prospero seeing this says
bring it on, sunshine
suddenly the monster leaps up at him
miranda : no no no no
the monster and prospero grapple awkwardly
the monster leans in and tries to maul prosperos neck
he scratches the magicians arms with his claws
the monster laughs and cries at it attacks
saying the word master over n over n over again
master master master master it gurgles obsessively
something we cant see is hurting it
sometime in the future
crowley will say
there is no devil
sometime in the future
engelbert humperdinck will sing
please release me, let me go
sometime in the future
iggy says
now i wanna be your dog
well, cmon….!
marc bolan now playing an arkadian youth :
walking in the woods one day
i met a man who says that he was magic…..(MAGIC!)
david bowie playing a bystander says
smack baby smack is a all that ya feel
caliban whimpers
i used to be the son of the morning star
prospero bleeding and triumphant
stands with his foot on the defeated beast
is this the taste of victory ? he muses
elvis as part of a greek chorus intones
caught in a trap cant walk out
in texas/ilium
jim bowie says to davy crockett
as they look over the walls of troy alamo :
well davy i sure fuckin’ hope you like quesadillas , compadre…
jim morrison and pam in the desert
he says
i feel like a monkey thats been crucified in space….
in alexandria
tony says to cleo
give me the same deal you gave big julie….
in paris hank miller says
hey anais…my ribbons jammed….
meanwhile
ariel the aery sprite
shoots across the sky
in a golden arc
a virtual rainbow vapour trail
a spirit torch
exploding over the pacific ocean
in north bondi
a shower of silver stars

there is an avalanche
all the books are opened
all the words coming off the page
the spells unloosed
” it is the raising of the complete man in a vertical straight line
any other operation is black magic”

prospero solemnly intones:
in the poisoned robes of Form
i have wandered this island
performed works of divination
commanding live spirit from dead matter
i freed monsters from trees
i pulled seraphs from thin air
i make the birds sing my songs
i make the flowers grow in gods name
i cause the moon to appear in my glass
i scry for angels in the dark summer afternoons
i imbibe the drink of the cactus
it sure tastes strangely sweet as it goes down inside
the cactus sends a spirit to meet me
a spirit in my chambers
mescalito all in green-o
mescalito moving and changing
mescalito with the dry laugh
he holds out his hand to shake
prospero pulls back his hand covered in tiny spines
more dry laughter
the spines are gone
prosperos small tanned hands healed
look at your hands!
now bleeding stigmata
crimson gore in my palms
hole right thru my hands
o mescalito
i’ll give you one-o
green grows old san pedro sings mescalito
am i the fucking nazz? wails prospero
dont nail me up you bastards sings mescalito
oooh thats gotta hurt! says a voice in the future
bang bang bang go the romans
oh fuck oh god whimpers jesus/ prospero /shakespeare
why cant i feel it ? sings mescalito
is it just a lie?
jim morrison goes wand’rin’ round his neighbourhood
liberating cacti in mescalitos name
jesus awoke before dawn
intones prospero dressed in black
he leans into the microphone
as the organ swirls in rococo arabesques behind him
then an interruption
father?
yes, miranda?
father….i want to……
yes …..what is it, my childe…?
father….i want to….leave ….all this…
the audience suck in their breath
voice from another room : what about jesus…?
mescalito grooves to abraxas
i feel just like jesus son he sings
meanwhile in jerusalem, cal
they bang up olde jimbo on a cross
and hes screaming n writhing in his leather
no no no hes singing
bowie playing judas in the crowd says
you couldnt believe you were in this song
marc bolan playing lazarus says
i danced myself out of the tomb
prospero suddenly comes back to his chambers
its late afternoon
on his island in the mediterranean sea
this man has studied nature
and moves in its grooves obtaining results
that seem miraculous to you common era men
prospero looks around for mescalito
but cactus man has gone from this plane
ariel the spirit arrives
why hast thou not delivered that which thou hast promised?
prospero spins round angrily
how dare you speak that way to your lord?
ha! the sprite whirls flaming in the air
even prospero only catches glimpses of her
as she really is
a pale lithe naked winged creature
emitting light and dazzling flashes
why hast thou not delivered that which thou hast promised?
prospero
the magician
a performer
high wire days
long way down
summon houdini
summon anubis
summon yourself
prospero breathes in deep
ok ariel he says
theres just one more thing i want you to do….

suddenly today i wake up changed
i crawl out of my car apace
i wash all these songs from my hands
i labour away at the notes that cling
i lift flute phrases away with tweezers
i am a man
everything is s’posed to be all laid on for me
i walk outside and survey my kingdom
my sword is dressed to the hilt
i cut all attachments
my tongue is on a roll
my hands finger each other
my calves wander never lost
my eyes that hear visions
my mighty heart that pounds in its cage
my hardness that reinforces each delicacy
my whispering thoughts that think themselves
god i’m good
good god, i’m……
i’m good, god
good, i’m god
see
i sift thru it all so you dont have to
my mind is awake
on darkest nights
computing our position
aligning our strange stars
documenting limbos chaos
apprehending crimes henchwomen
pressing the pills of muchlove
i got a dozen buckets of pseud
i got customers stretching around the blogk
i got people ringing me up from antares
saying
“i just bumped into mick, he tells me you know where to score”
i’m into everything
but at the right moment
i’m right back out again
nothings gonna change my world
still i expect no small reward
i’m the kinda person that takes everything you had
and says well whats for dessert?
nothing can keep up
because i move at the speed of melancholy
(einstein computed this to be $49.95)
i dream what others take as reality
for lucifers sake there is no other
now i’m old
i’m a proper sage n everything
dressed in saffron garb age 54
i dispense my advice
arizona take off yer indian shoes
indiana wants me lord i cant go back there
the lights all went out in massachusetts
nothing would be finer than to be in carolina
oh oh alabama can i see you and shake your hand?
texas thats where i wanna be down in texas
californian wine tastes fine
staring down a forty five in west virginny
in the cold kentucky rain
kentucky woman she gets to know ya
she gets to show ya…..
in the meanest time
in n.bondi it is overcaste
my skin develops an allergy to itself
i swim n i sauna n i chat to the locals
the old diggers playing gin rummy
the iron man ivans n the muscle marys
the tourists who wander in our fair boroughs
the weirdos n dispossessed n repossessed
i plough up n down my lane
cursing the johnny come latelys
who dont have the balls to swim in winter
(isnt there a joke in there somewhere)
i swim swim swim swimmy swimmy swim
i listen to my breath bubble in n out
my breath starts to lock into a pattern
my limbs still heavy from xmas xcess
my brain thinks over old times
i overtake n am overtaken
somedays i glide through turquoise heavens
somedays i fight through a saline grey sludge
sometimes i am alone in a lonely pool
othertimes the swimmers jostle n derail
i sit in the sauna watching the surfers weaving dissolving patterns
i walk home pumped up on endorphins…
its a hard fix to get
but its worth the trubble…
colour of the day
blue coming out of grey
sound of the age
a dead lark in a cage
film i’d go n see
a film of tears n a cuppa tea
i am yet to conker the world of ballet
stay untuned
steve xxx