The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

believe me there is nothing worse than when your children get sick

when i was in sweden i put some pictures on the net of my daughters head

zipperhead i called her

and there is that big ugly zippered up scar on the back of her neck

but that scar filled me with dread and anxiety

around this time marianne in newcastle england was writing to me

her granddaughter jade has had a lot of operations

a lot of painful invasive awful operations and shes only fifteen

at an age when most kids are getting on with being teenagers

jade has been bravely and stoically coping with one thing after another

an operation to correct the last operation etc

shes undergone a lot for a teenaged girl !

anyway in newcastle theyre having a bit of a fundraiser

because these operations cost a fucking fortune

and

unable to attend that fundraiser

and wanting to do something

i have written a song for jade

and the money from all downloads will go straight to her family

now the song itself was problematical

i wanted to write something magnificent to exemplify jades struggle

this ideal nearly gave me writers block where ive never had it before

the immensity of my task seemed to stop me in my tracks

eventually i settled for a beatley/ glam rocky happy get better kinda song

i think you’ll like it

and believe me the money will be going to a very good cause

its a win/win situation

and jade will be in a lot of peoples hearts and prayers

go ahead now please

even if this is the only download you buy from me ever

and get a song for jade plus instrumental jade mix

its only $ 5 for 12 minutes plus worth of music

thank you

steve xxxxx

http://stevekilbey.bandcamp.com/album/a-song-for-jade

starring astrid aurora and eve proudly modelling their time being tea shirts (sure!!)

it occurred to me whilst talking to holly who handles my art empire

that i had been painting exactly 10 years now

since i began in 2002 as a suggestion of my brother john

who asked me to do some artwork for freaky conclusions

he auctioned it off at the end

and there was a demand for more

and so i started painting

struggling at first then steadily progressing (i guess)

anyway i am pleased to offer you 2 of my paintings on a t shirt

fall in love also the cover of monsters n mirages box set

this a paining from a photo of me for starfish photo session

secondly we have jesus in bondi

a lovely handsome happy messiah strumming in a bondi flat

please feel free to buy a tee and walk around in it!

thank you

sk

the vegetals speak

on a world warm day

the deep sea is green and cold

i am whirled about in it

the earth pauses

the morning holds its breath

something changed today

i cant tell yet what it is

something seemed like it was being manifested

the air was pregnant

an arrival seemed imminent

everything grew stiller and stiller

i waited …..we all waited…

we were somewhere waiting

the stillpoint went on and on and on

i was in a hotel in brighton settling a room charge

i was in a train speeding towards hamburg

i was in the sea in bondi

i was watching the esoteric pyramids of art and music twist in me head

i was at school and in jail

i was ash in the furnace

i wish vishnu wanted me as a sunbeam in his effulgence

i wish i could enter nirvana hotel where the rooms are all black

you open the door to that delicious room

you smile to yourself one last time

as you think about all the bullshit back there

the warm darkness lies waiting containing something  lovely

you take a look around at the outside where its cold and bleak

your skin is so dry

that wind blowing atcha all the time

your body aches from a million insults and whacks

your ears reverberate like fucked up phased cicadas out of their trees

your eyes blinded by jealousy and heat and the silver flash of fame

your hands tremble and shake resembling earthquake

your mind so burned so scarred so hard

you are about to enter your room when you hear a voice

a voice out there in the wilderness calling for help

maybe calling your name its so hard to tell

but your room is ready

youve been waiting a long time

you can just go in and shut that door it wont matter anymore

the voice calls out more faintly

calling for help

you stand there on the threshhold of your room

wondering

what do i do now?

never knew wolfgang was clairvoyant till i saw him get a flash in the street

a beautiful beast alights in the night

in my warmest cabin heart in my soft childhood glow

in my cosy hour before sleep i’m all dreamy

all my memories are soft and red

my dad is dead and alive

in my blessings which i counted on

i roll my dice twice not quite a full house

a pair of coincidences

a pair of choose

a single point of implosion from whence springs forth universes

my man

as i sleep i wrote this poem right now

in my dreamiest dream i am a great poet writing his book

blah blah fucking blah i go

some medieval doctor ponced up in my gown

against a backdrop of castles and towers and forests i go

a man of astronomy a man of the lord

certain rites that unconstrain my soul

i wander in the cemetery come across my own grave

that cant be right !…. i must be confused

someone is waving a flag in my face

go on!  screams the crowd whove gathered around

with my foot to the floor i sped in to a beyond

slow down! warns the law

i hurtle recklessly unable to stop

god in his universal form is almost unobtainable

our ears would burst our eyes would grow opaque

our minds our books our grandest theory fails to contain him …

asking him why he did this or didnt do that……?

why ….its like  a flea asking leo da vinci about his tea..

yet

more and more i feel his presence

one thing at a time

in his different aspects

i feel the blessings of saraswati goddess of art

as my fingers travel over wood and paper and wires and keys

as i try with my mind tho always via my fingers to pull something out

pull something out of this stubborn darkness that does not always give lightly

somehow i have received her sublime blessings

it is with with great love she guides her devotees

now a new voice directs my hand

it guides me over shadow through echo out of hyperbole

oh wonderful spirit i cannot accept your gifts without proclaiming your generosity!

i saw my fathers fingers wander over his piano

how do you know what theyre doing ? i asked him once

i dont know they just do it on their own now ..he said

the music itself would take him and it would make his fingers roam the keys

only occasionally crashing into discord

the spirit that good spirit has possessed and moved through me too

oh great joy and blessings my beautiful children all too singing playing

making and will make more beautiful music for this world

humble servants of a greater creator

who says to the birds sing !

he says to man sing !

man says but what do we sing?

he says to man everything you sing will in some way be me

man says where will i find you when i need you?

but man realises he is in an empty room on his own

talking to himself

mild light

blessed evening warm and gentle

return to the valley come back to the hills

sounds of celebration somewhere in the air out there

the grumble of traffic

the relentless surf pounding in the dark

rumblings of distant future

dogs howl out in loneliness

the whispering leaves moving about as if the trees were creatures

my ears ring faithfully on containing every note i ever played

my eyes dim blurry fogs

i am receding from this world

i no longer apprehend it vividly

it is out there but

planes come in to land

thundering through the sydney sky all lit up

i sit at my desk

i am an imaginary locus

more planes more cars more surf

palm trees full of fruit bats all talking at once

moments yes moments

just lots of moments

spring is nearly here i feel it

one day i swim one day i drown etc

like this evening up the score

scoring an evening like this

The Simple Minds/Devo concert at The Palais Theatre in Melbourne on Friday Nov 30 is now SOLD OUT! Other shows on this tour are listed on our Calendar page.
http://www.palaistheatre.net.au/whats-on.htm&event_id=315

just another angel

jesus christ was an explosion of love

and 2000 years later the world is still filled with the fallout from that event

my daughter scarlet is head over heels in love with jesus

tho she had NO prompting from anyone here

there was a shrine to mary mother of god in coogee

we walked past it and we stopped to talk about what it all meant

i talked mainly to the older 2 girls

scarlet was only 3 at the time

yet as we walked away she began to cry

why scarlet are you crying? we said

i miss jesus already so much she blurted out…

but where did this come from…?

it doesnt matter to me who jesus was or wasnt….

i dont fetishise his death

nor do i examine his resurrection for veracity

i just read the bits in the bible about him and get some guidance

whether or not he actually existed…his ideal exists…

it is typical of us humans to get all hot under the collar about “authenticity”

when its the actually sublime beauty

and the revolutionary manner of the parables

and the way he deals with the characters he encounters

man you could take a leaf out of this guys book

you dont have to worship him

just listen to a bit of that nice advice

the line below here will be left blank for all those who want to

put in something nasty he said amongst all the nice stuff

………………………………………………………….

and he did didnt he i suppose…?

but remember he was a human being

hes just like perseus or hercules or siegfried

hes half mortal half god so the story goes

you can take it or leave it on any level you like

i look back on my own 32 year history in rock

and i read that book by bob lurie

and i realise how myths and rumours and legends and conjecture

and all this stuff inseparable around everything

the way all these different people see me and interpret stuff

and nobody NOT EVEN ME really got the full story ‘cept god i guess

anyway so i just think of jesus and the similarities to frodo baggins in LOTR

like someone in an incredible story who is doing something huge

who at the same time is humble and prepared for sacrifice

attended by only one dear disciple

and hounded by his own rotten judas

carrying this huge weight

this sorrow

this burden he has taken on whether people know of it or not

the fragile balance between good and evil

sauron as a thinly devised satan

but where is the jehovah of middle earth?

ah i have no truck with jehovah anyway

i dont like him or the big bang

both too bloody bombastic and violent and random

good god this earth was created by an artist

no blustering punishing tyrant

no accident ignition of random gases n stuff

this world if you but observe it for one second

if your eyes have ever been opened

if you ever stop to look at it as it really is

very few atheist artists ,my friends

very few atheist musicians

very few atheist geniuses neither

i dont know what to believe in people it doesnt matter

if jesus appeals to you dont feel guilty

if you prefer apollo or diana the goddess of hunting

do them service then

god does not fucking care how you approach him

he is a bit beyond that kinda bullshit you would imagine

the guy who invented the humming bird  doesnt care what you name him

hes not hung up on all that baloney and malarkey

not the cat that causes the planets to hang unsuspended in space

he that sets everything in motion

that maintains it and protects it

and he that destroys everything when that things time has come

he is no prissy quibbling grumpy patriach in the sky

he is immanent in everything

he spins creation out of himself somehow

oh as an artist i regard his handiwork with jealousy

as a musician i seek to emulate or invoke his presence

as a father i hope to incorporate his mercy and love

as a performer i try to channel his energy

my god whoever he is says names dont matter

he says jesus was me he says lennon was me

he says mozart was me he says leonardo was me

he says bolan was me he says angela carter was me

he says houdini was me and yer dad was me

and george harrison was especially me

and he says kilbey you were me too

but he says

you know everybody was me and i was everybody

i play my part so well i forget who i am

like a child lost in a game

i imagine wealth i imagine fame

i imagine death i imagine pain

dont ask me why god allows this and that

how the hell would i know

does someone with an ant farm allow the ants to do whatever they like?

how does jesus fit in to all this?

i’m not certain

i’m not certain about anything except this did not get here on its own

you may have intellectualised god out of the equation

but the blinding evidence of creation insists on a creator

hes all and nothing

he is life and the force which animates living things

without it you have nothing

life is magic

yoga and magic

and music to describe it all

thats all

engine ear

when the aerial spirits of the airy domains burn down to earth

and the necropolis releases its prisoners

and great green heads rear from the boiling seas screaming for more man

when hands reach out of solid stone and roots of rock curl round your calves

when typhon materialises upon the storm

and his black gaze falls upon your white soft skin

and shrieking winged monkeys are loosed like darts from apollos bow

when wicked women and 100 proof whisky obliterate reason

when this world revolts against idiots who continually rape her

they desire only one thing that is total ruination

when terrible weapons are unleashed upon child and beast

when bad men dream their bad dreams of death and blood

(oh the bloodlust cannot be satiated

though it is within us

it can be conquered with abstinence )

when the end is suddenly here like you always knew it would

and beyond the end is the start of god knows what

and god has granted us this autonomy

no we have granted it to ourselves

when this autonomy is recalled by some god in his anger perhaps

or by some dark star who with its rays causes our will to weaken

when eternal night descends dressed in purplish clouds

as if wrought by some heaving hephaestus who hated us inhuman

and that night is cold and bitter full of ice and filthy snow

factories belching out apocalyptic gaseous kisses to the old sad poor grey skies

when sleep and death cannot be found inside a pill or shot

when sleep and death cannot be obtained even on the waiting lists

when sleep and death have been lost in the postponement

when sleep and death can be bought only on black markets

when sleep and death have been denied . please resume your work!

then

you’ll find me on birthday island

strolling with the lord

composing a psalm beneath his blessed palms

in dusks which will last forevers

in mornings of century seconds

in the golden noon of his gorgeous day

gardens of the dead and beautiful

flowers beneath that burning royal blue firmament

the crushing crimson sunsets strip glory from the dying day

and rainbows bridge horizon to horizon

and in silvery midnights you’ll find me in my small abode

in certain yoga asanas invoking this gods grace

or in the darkness with some heavenly consort

with hands of velvet and whispers of moon

adorned with galaxy strings and cosmic oomph

yes i see her now through slitted future eyes

the congress of ying thing with yang thang

bang!

rainbow gardener

another sweet day

the water is green and foaming

lovely dove is homing

i’m combing through pasts i never lived

black cat sniffed the air

i guess this is the beginning of magic

prince among  cats agree with me

its peachy soft in the sky right now

everything so still and quiet

the wilted yesterday in a little vase

it seems to sing something under the silence

the trembling web just beyond the light

on the eve of a strange comet

another night the red stars

i feel the birds moving in sky

i feel the fish moving in sea

i feel the worms moving in earth

i feel the spirits moving in ether

in the dark when everything comes down

a warm embrace a hand touches me

although i am alone someone moves against me into desire

although my eyes are closed i see with my fingers

my fingers  numb i hold on with my eyes

behind every ocean i’m down at the shore

behind every world i’m hung in the skies

behind every clock the time thats next door

i wonder how long i’ll remain here in guise

i wonder what then i’m hanging in for

the pleasures get steeper the deeper you go

its nice but can i come at the price without consent or prior advice?

i fall over  picking myself up

although i am alone the curtains move against closed window

the radiator seethes and gasps like a bunch of little asps

the orange moon soon shed its redness

the risk gone the disc shone on

no oblivion could sunder the orb from the sun

my heart is with the lord in kingdom come

all angels scream out his praises in phases of ecstasy

everyday we will walk and talk together by the limpid pools

oh an idyll the hornbill see how the golden bream race in schools

blue swan horizon decorates my heavenly pad

i hang out with your dad its sad we passed this way

i keep waiting for sleep or a knock at the door

and that sweet day has come back once more

golden winter

man swims in pleasure

man drowns in pain

man kills for fun

man they insane

day over night

night over day

august on julie

julie noted

well i came into town one evening like a real clown

at a bar called the fountain of delights i spent my nights

carousing with women you see in their vulnerability

a captain of industry like me you see subtle with my accuracy

oh i picked up my axe and i started to wail

come back kitty cat get me outta this jail

you trash talking titanic terra bound star

i’m cold in this rain while you drive in his car

my heart is the ocean and the motion of it makes me sick

my spirit is an eagle more regal than a finch

my mind is a masterpiece someone casually smashed

my total is a scramble where everything is hashed

only god who walked among us can ever heal thy grief

worship him with flower or with water or with leaf

whisper any of his name they all the same

think of him let him in let him come let him come

oh i get the shivers and quivers when the immanence delivers

but then it hurts when its over where the emptiness drove her

i follow down a dark thread in my head lying in her bed

in deeper hue the two of you

the jack of wands

lily ponds