The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

art

i dunno how ya found me

i was sitting here in the hall of bright carvings

i was waiting for a 441 bus to take me back to 1982

i was mentioned in a show somebody’s mother saw

i was on the phone with grant mclennan

and with lou reed and with kevin ayers

i was falling in a dream that i was sitting in a chair

i was painting pictures that really told a story

i sold my soul for a big advance and a shot at the crown

i waltzed out there and fucked up the moon for myself

i nailed up the comet tailed galaxy in an embassy in the woods

man a city imploded in my head and i fed the stars to a wolf

the delirious sky begun to fry in my little eye n i sigh

the wolf was a prince and the prince was a dog and the dog was a wolf

the world was alone it had no friends

wait until this planet ends

i hear the voice of a lonely snake awaken in winter

i feel the charming disarming drug of choice in hinterland on tour

man the  sea is black as ink n i disappear as i sink in it

woman you stained me blue as woad on the road i blink in it

stupid life i groan and i grown

steven make sure answer phone

steven make sure methadone

steven make sure seed is sown

i call a number sorry disturb the slumber

i mumble my grumbling nonapology

its different time here the minutes within it go fast past

at last we reach the final line

and even though that  wasnt it

its a fine line

its fine

cathedral by the sea

the wild october saturday night is black in the sea

the deep echo of other times

the memory of people long gone away

the rolling waves still cast the spell

the salty air is full of dreams

full of unrequited love

the tongues of evening all talked out

the fork in the road where every one parts

in interim lives

interweaving all stories

improbability builds up

coincidences are stunning

the night is a mill throwing everything out

the night is a robber cloaked in its own darkness

the night is a surgeon opening your chest

the night is an actor pretending to die  on a stage

the night is a fool and it urges you on

the night comes over and has a beer with you

the night you remember the night you forgot

its saturday night and everything is quiet again

the sea hitting the shore the wind in the trees

somewhere this and that are happening

overdosed youth and quarrelling mob

somewhere the traffic screams to a halt

idiots sloshing down booze and dropping E

strangers fuck in a hotel or in a bedroom at a party

hoarse shouts of boys and screams of girls

i am immune

the sea rolls in again

a christmas beetle buzzes round and round

the screen glows

ears ring

eyes ache

my work here is nearly done

october in flume

invoke some nameless force to aid me

a shrewd muse or two or good excuse

a voice to guide us through

a dreaming angel of the spirit who has known man flesh

the templed night under star fields on crepe black paper

take away the stone encased head i said was mine so long ago

the mirage-like empty oases where lions drank

the jagged clauses in a life story by the  blind visionary

in between these rude rocks and penthouse step

west on the shore point

neptune boulevard and its magic ice cream shops that melt in the sun

the speargun i bought to nail leviathan now in pawn and straining

the guitar i had strummed drummed out of its case  refraining

the program i access without immediate success thank you god bless

the jammed station i inherit devoid of almost any merit i digress

before oblivion staggered along in a numb days haze

man  gathering flock like a storm of malchicks in styx anglais

black melody of white blues i choose not to listen

i lose my light but lo it doth glisten

fastening on to flame those who were burned are returned

the drowning desert the thirsty sea they then are no home to me

but voted spokesman for the void i am currently employed

so i speak

i speak of wordless matters

like the insect dreaming in cocoon

the arc of a comet i once saw as a child

the way god strings me along with bits and with pieces

the first blush of shell at oceans dawn mist

the second the sun with its radiance kiss

the third on the billowing waves of green ice

a deep glacial crack all through the merchandise

the earth beyond us is alive and sentient in spades

her great spirit consort dominates  the evenings in certain glades

but now ive got to catch a plane…..now this note fades

cartoon of lives

in a burst of acceleration and a rush of white bubbles

some beast released

the rocks scream out

the earth shrugs off its mantle

a new civilisation sweeps everything before it before it falls itself

greediness and lies can never prevail

it is the way of things

and righteousness can never prevail either

it is the way of things

heaving salt water fills my dream tank

drown in clear green air i fall slowly upwards into sky

miles above the sunken cathedral in the rhine

where the nibelung hammer out rivers of steel

in germany my doppelganger appears on a stage doped

the panther chases half heartedly the spring days

i am faint down in greece with a nymph of the sea

over the pyramids my ketamine dream of somewhere else

a swirl of vicious claws approacheth in the dim sparkled wine dark sea

hideous odour of monster unhinged like a pungent spell

we crouch on the sand spear in hand

my heart beats in another chest like a doom drum

the roman soldier with sunburnt shoulder rolls the boulder today

christ in paris during the plague is pulled away

in devilled tones the ominous drones drop away from bomb bay

in secretive tryst they have missed the gist of holy day

pendulum comes back and its crack of hell

swing to the side but if you decide too late

thing is war wont wait

i fought back in biblical times like a dog who climbs a tree

i swam like a fish through the glittering aegean sea and in galilee

i saw them nail up brothers who stole others in darkness

on the isle of madness it was i in a fever who saw what i seen

the brand new facade of impossible empire in the clouds

the veneer was penetrated by lovely little satan riding on a black steed

i need to calm down all around the sound i cannot heed

in pastures of paradise a studio lot has been set aside for me

acting out my shadow lives in far eternity

the swelling sea

the trumpets blister mournfully

the burning fleet off tripoli

the masked god of dumb loyalty

the mark of sustainability

the sword forged by necessity

umbrage with uncertainty

this was all a dream to me

left rite

i move from without

the tiniest fracture in the wing

the worm within adamant eves apple

achilles healing in afterlife will never surrender

i am the talentless son of a gun bitch

i see shudder within the abandoned egg of space

i feel the molten hybrid star of some new epsilon

i am the broken jar of the warmest reddest wine

the apology of midnight to noon

the film of some naked women with a cellular flaw

the united imagination of mankind could only produce

this squalid festering war-blown wreck of earth

careering along in time blind like a black plane in a storm

i am fears messenger with my eroded phrases of caution

this bastard desert was once a forest my little pigs

this underwater fallen god once a pinnacle of distant lemuria

this decaying boat washed up on a bed of dead salamanders

the bloodfish gather in schools of murder and they drool at the sight of me

my antennae quiver deep in the river of dirty orphan moons

my sonnets of gloom and boom capture no one but you

i connect to my inner whisperer who has faded almost to pink noise

that blurred chris cross electrical moss i took for my brain man

up to my eyeballs in the dross of gods honour i seized upon a spade

i dug and betrayed the ground on which i should have stood

my nettled brain unfettered finally in a paroxysm of the frame

i stood down from ceremonies where phonies gave trophies to phonies

never treat me like a some creature you never seen before

for a poet thats deplorable

for a fool adorable

my task is therefore laudable

SF intl airport

american adventure over

i did 2 shows

i did one exhibition

i did 3 rehearsals

i tramped around san francisco for 2 days

i ate about 10 meals at the veggie grill on sunset blvde

i smoked some medical jazz

i met groovy people like alain johannes and mark mcguire

who played with me and greg dulli

i hung out with thomas negovan and gail potocki who know their art

had dinner with John T my attorney at real food daily

i met davida and pablo and debby w

and casper von dj who i stayed with

i gave money to beggars and people with limbs missing

i cant believe the usa has money to bomb the middle east

yet in san fran the beggars are legion and crazy and suffering and cold and hungry

oh yeah i forgot that’d be socialism to take care of them

we cant have that , can we?

it breaks my fucking heart what can i say?

as far as the gigs went i believe i acquitted myself well

didnt make many mistakes and was pretty vibed up

who knows where this will eventually lead with me and GD…?

now im sitting here waiting to fly back

the flight here was a shocker bumpy and scary

please lord let this be smooth

i arrive home on my twins eve and auroras 14th birthday

scarlet turns 8 on the 17th as well

yeah ok thats it

hopefully see ya all back in sydney soon

sk.. some mexican place at airport

renaissance ponce

here in LA

worn out and knackered

tonight my art show

spent last night at gallery with thomas negovan the owner

he really believes in my art and i am so happy for that

he gave me a crash course in the art gallery scene

i was amused to find it contains many of the music biz’s contradictions

thomas digs many of my arts facets i was unaware were so interesting

he thinks being a pastellist is in itself unusual..he has never handled pastels before

when i first started painting it was watercolour

one day my beautiful sister in law amy showed me pastels and erasers

i can still remember watching her  pushing round the colour with her fingers

and then showing me how you could erase back through the colours

something in  my mind said “yes, this is for you just like bass guitar is for you”

i never looked back

holly jordan has since laid all kinds of pastels on me

huge box sets and specialty pastels like iridescent and pan pastels

pan pastels are applied with sponge applicators and are very intuitive to use

and then there are pastel pencils too

and demi pastels with no paper wrapper you can use sideways

i stumbled into everything i do

thomas told me he likes my use of colour

and the way i mix up psychedelia and classicism

the way i do in my lyrics

all of it i have naively fallen into..none of it part of a plan

he has been watching me awhile..now i am ready

yes i am ready

i met gail potocki there last night

she is one of thomas’ main artists and she is unbelievably good

i was flattered to learn she liked my stuff

google her or century guild to see her incredible work

brilliant painting and brilliant concepts

she is almost a living master

i predict in the next five years she will be huge

anyway seems i got lucky and found an original style for myself

just like in music

my childhood  obsessions fuel my art

the greeks n romans, the bible, the ancient world where i belong somehow

and chuck on top of that my experiences with drugs n dreams

and all the books and stuff i devoured

it all comes pouring out somehow

guided by intuition i have slowly developed my schtick

working in pastel on top of black gouache

fiddling with the fixes

rubbing and erasing and building up layers

just like in music i am finding my own thing in there

its exciting

i am happy to be where i am today

i hope i sell a few paintings to justify thomas’ belief in me

and a big thanks to those who have supported me along the way

those who bought my stuff etc

and especially holly who believed in what i could do all along

it is impossible for me to be here without her support in numerous ways

anyway wish me some luck

these are unknown waters for me

tomorrow i begin working with greg dulli n band

rehearsing our show for wednesday night

at least i am on familiar ground with a bass in my hands again

but the pastels are becoming comfortable to me like the bass

just a lot damn messier

if you are in LA please come

7 tonight culver city

see you maybe

sk ,hollywood (gee!)

 a me in the past

a me in the past knocked this all up

i’m just here today looking around

the view in my skull endless and dim

the purple shades of tipsy evening

still vibrating still expanding

out there the sea again i can smell its swelling waves

the darkening waters through the trees

endless caravan park of flimsy shades

a comet flashes over the showerblock in the bush

and christmas evenings we are still children

the grown ups drink beers and play cards

dad makes em all laugh ha ha ha

we run away away we run away

all around nature prevailing

down at the beach an albatross  crashed exhausted

and lay there turning into sand itself

the jungly path full of knotted roots illuminated by a bonfire on the shore

the threatening storm hovers in memory

we talked to some girls who remained in darkness

up in a dune lying close to escape from the wind

they told us of whales that walked on the land

and a summer snow storm which iced up the fish

and the frogs who appeared on the lawns of the great garden

and black roses with thorns of silvered workings

and drops of blood like crimson paint on my poor finger

the comets tail rained down cosmic rays

and fish writhed in watery agony beneath a black and twitching surface

and all shattered by the fighting birds screaming from the roofs

when i creep home alone its 2 o’clock and i sleep in the annex

i dream of flying flaming over a great city

as i burn up in an atmosphere like this

my mind becomes beautifully empty