The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

*now with new improved drizzle

ganesha is looking good
nk, who has a soft spot for him, has approved
“but dont call him jumbo” she says

ive given him a nice silver paisleyish cloaky-thingy
i must say he’s looking kinda smart
i must say i think he’s happy with it
the only thing thats really bad now in my painting
is the cars…
trees…i can do trees
cars….ive never tried before and theyre hard to do
like my eyes see one thing
my mind sees another
my hands try to mediate between the 2
the result is some horrible little silly cars
driving up bondi road :
checklist of ganesha in bondi
golden bloody helmut glitt’ring with jewels check
warm pinky red skin that has form check
pearls check
border of eyes check
the houses n shops of bondi check
the veggy-tation check (but needs more work)
the sea check (waves?)
the sky check (clouds?)
the cars NO CHECK horrible and silly
those f@#$ing cars
suddenly i feel like i’m back in school
about 11 or 12 trying to draw cars
i never did
something about them i havent yet grokked
you gotta grok everything
not so much understand but grok
grok was a word invented for a book
but its invention necessitates its use
you gotta grok a bass guitar for egg-sample
you understand it
yes yes
you know it goes boom boom
you know its wood and strings and that
but you dont grok it yet
took me ages to grok it
it wasnt a sudden grok neither
it was a long torturous process
i am not great at grokking
many people grok faster than i
my only superiority in any thing
in that i always perceive the need to grok
and i know when i havent grokked
and i search for the key which will unlock the grokking
i havent found that key for cars
ha ha honey i cant find the car key
my mind just bamboozles my eye
it goes
hey eye
we know what a car looks like…right?
we’ll take over here
right hand this is the mind
we dont need those eyes wasting time
examining how cars look
so i’m taking over here
ok pick up your brush and paint
the hand : well…? what now…?
the mind : well ah…just…oh i dont know..have a go
the hand : how about this
the mind : oh god thats awful..
the hand : you didnt give any direction, mate
the mind : its a f#$@ing car for godsake
the eye : if i maybe so bold…?
the mind : no you may not….
the hand: hey eye , i need some guidance here..
the mind : i know a car when i see one
the heart : the truth is to grok the car switch off the mind
the mind : no no dont switch me off…aaargh!
the hand the eye the heart : good riddance…!
so yeah
not having managed to switch off ye olde minde
i have not yet grokked how to draw cars
instead of my expectation of what a car should be
mem says draw yer hands every morning
well last night i drew myself a hot bath
then i drew the curtains
then bedtime drew nigh
and i drew my sweet wife to me
and then after
i drew sleep down upon me
i drew andrew
andy did
so grok grok grok
ganesha with iffy cars and a cloudless sea and waveless sky
finally, the great australian masterpiece has arrived
done in love
all the ingredients in this painting were gifts
i want for nothing
although having not put the lids back on properly
some of my metallics are forever stuck in their little jars
rip silver and no more gold
stuff is everywhere
the turquoise has reappeared
and is all over the carpet along with a light pink pastel
its quite pretty really
and nothing that a brand new carpet wouldnt fix

i cant believe in one hour
i will jump in the pool which has gotta be no more than 14 today
there are very few winter swimmers down there
a few old russians
a few old aussie diggers who are there come sleet hail or lightnin’
a few regs like jo jo the swede
like dr mark who sells solar panels
or dr penelope
or gary the south african archi-tect
sometimes a few young scruffy musicians
trying to escape their hangover via low temperatures
well…it works
after immersing myself in freezing cold water
and swimming in it for twenty laps
i feel like ive taken some A class drug
without any of the nasty bits
(ie arrest, death, addiction)
no hang on…i am addicted to it
i am addicted to jumping in the pool
almost everyday
regardless of weather or mood
i cant bear to miss it
but its a big price to pay
the time
the shock
the discipline to stay in
the time in the sauna to warm up again
the commitment to keep going
if you can do that
you can reap these strange rewards
unexpected journeys
your mind goes off
as you push through that green glassy water
as you see the sandy patterns on the bottom of the pool
as the sea washes over the side a whole degree warmer
and all foamy like a bubble bath
and your body has gone this peculiar numb warm
and i feel my heart slow down
i feel my nerves relax
i feel my worries fly away somewhere warm
i feel the coughs and colds piss off outta my system
its an arcane and esoteric thing
this cold clear water
and when it rains
and you swim alone in this big pool
and theres only you
and thoughts cease to be thoughts
they become a pure vision of form or sound
wordless realms
i ceases to operate
i am the cold water
my breathing is deep and regular
i swim almost effortlessly
some olde bones and sinews complain a bit
but nothing you cant ignore
the water is creamy cold
you love to be frozen
because in it is….warmth
in the opposite you found the familiar
in the pool
you solve all your art problems
and you realise nothing much really matters
its so easy to pass from one state of consciousness to another
moods come and go
the cold water is patient
but then i grokked it
it took a long time
but i knew it must be possible to grok it
i saw others swimming in the cold water
and i knew there was something in it
so i persevered
and now….

one thing that sure is different about painting n music
is technology
i mean
when you paint youre still using the olde way
theres no new technology
to aid
or master
youre still basically up against the board
with a brush or fingers and paint or pastel or ink
ok theres been a few new things
airbrushing i guess
and that sort of thing
they do on computers like mrkillabee (not me)
(check out that guy …!)
but
most are still doing it a la van gogh or leonardo
contrast this to music
where the developments are constantly making yer head spin
every 5 or 10 years a revolution in music technology
its affecting the music too…they are verily now intertwined
stuff you can do now ( at home)
would have made bob clearmountains jaw drop in 81 in 301
the ease speed and accuracy with which music can be manipulated
of course everybody uses the same programs
then everybody gets similar results
you can hear that now
that “pro-toolsed” sound
that slightly harsh and digital schmear
that first sleepy jackson record got it in spades
so nowadays being a musician you gotta cope with this
you got battles on yer hands right from the word glo
how good are ya on pro-tools sonny jim?
cos if someone in the band gets the upper hand
he’ll be imprinting more of his genius than yours
on yer next mp3
because musics become a semi-visual process (oh dark day!)
and the guy at the screen is king
whereas with painting…
its still just you
only you
no programs gonna slap that oil on for ya baby
painting same as it ever was
music in constant flux
now i am a renaissance man
i can write poetry
i can can compose and play music
i can draw and paint
i can act (a bit)
i tell you all these disciplines inform the other
many shared principles
allow your mind to wander
allow your voice or fingers to move with some fluid grace
allow art into everything you do
i tell you i think about art and music every second of every day
i think of words i think of stories i think of songs
i see shape and form everywhere
i hear melody and harmony in natures divine sounds
i notice poetry in the speech of everyman
i notice when people are acting
i am reconnected to the vegetal kingdom
and flowers blow my fucking mind
blumenkraft fur ewigt
i take it all in
a giant filter examing everything as for its usefulness in art
i am in love with art and music
these things happen so easily for me now
and all i can say to those who wonder why
is
let go
let go
why dont you let go?
let go off your stiffness your rigidity
get some wonder into your mind
you are john lennon or renoir or dylan thomas
its all there for you except youre YOU
and they werent
but its all there
every coloursoundpoem
i’m gonna keep on trying
i’ve got to see where i can take this
its for its own sake now
not for money
(voice of reality: ignore that last remark)
there is a definite pattern unfolding right before my eyes
do i have enough years left
to keep this up
everything i do will be full of love
all of this
but with hard won patience
with strict discipline when necessary
a commitment to no straight lines or bum notes
keep exploring
everybody knows what i can do
why keep doing that?
do something and move on
let it go
oh how i long to let utmw go
so olde now
dont wanna ever talk about it
or sing it
or hear it or about it ever
just keep the silent royalties dribbling in
put it in the movies
yes please
sample it chop it up
cover it
do a disco or emo version
let the veronicas and bobby flynn and matchbox 20 sing it
i dont care
i was done with it years ago i wanna move on
imagine keep getting dragged back to one little point on yer arc
hey numbskulls i gotta move on now
let me go
(voice of reality: i want whatever he’s been smokin’)
no one can squeeze anything else out of that fucking thing
hey i’m painting ganesha in bondi on a huge piece of paper
ah they dont care
utmw makes money and thats all that matters
matter matters
at least utmw aint too bad if you gotta be saddled
it could be and frequently is worse
i dont mind it
but like
yeah uh huh
art/music ramble
yeah

killer awakes before dawn
he chooses a face from the ancient gallery
(freckled tanned getting old)
and he walks on down the hall
he comes to the room of his doodles
doodles?
yes daddy
i want to….
i want to get you to school on time
(so i dont have to go in and fill in the form)
oh sad day
the doodles and i cant get it together
to achieve liftoff momentum
and leave the houses orbit
always something
i cant find my keys
scarlets screaming demanding another kiss goodbye from eve
aurora cant find her bloody flute
i dunno whatever
eventually we walk off towards school
its about 5 minutes away
i start razzing the doodles
hey doodles yer teachers gonna be waiting for ya with the cane
no dad says one doodle
stop that says the other doodle
yep (i say) shes gonna be furious with you
no she wont dad says one doodle
she wont says the other
like a volcano her anger will be pouring out like smoke
i’m raving on now enjoying the sound of my own voice
and she’ll be waving a fiery cane thats going wwwwhhhhooooo
as she swings it round
dad they dont cane kids anymore says one doodle
they’d get fired if they did says the other
bloody hell doodles!
i know that …i’m just givin’ ya a story as we walk to skooly
we dont want that sort of thing says eve
we want something……nice says aurora
something nice they both chime together
ok i say
i’m up for the challenge of something nice
i cast around
i think of george bush fucking up the economy
i think of mal turnbull at an art gallery
i think of the oil goin’ down
and the climate going up
and the ye olde inflation swallowing my royalty cheque
i think of all my mistakes and blunders
but nice…..?!
so i say
well doodles you know….i’m quite a nice guy
i’m walking along holding hands with em
theres a profound silence after my last remark
arent i…doodles….?
the doodles dont reply
but i feel a slight tremor in each hand i’m holding
i hear a sound like suppressed……laughter
suddenly the doodles both break out in their characteristic laffs
eve a rapid fire guffaw huh huh huh huh huh
aurora like an old lady oh ha ha ha ha
whats this? i say
slightly wounded
you dont think i’m a nice guy?
aurora comes up with one of her typical sayings
ah dad ah well ah ya know
its only coz youre nice
that we can laugh when you say youre nice
yeah! says eve but not really following the logic
ok i say scratching my head
i s’pose thats alright then….is it?
suddenly school hoves into sight
are we late?
arent we late?
yes no
yes no
the doodles make a charge for it
we can still do it they say
eve runs off without a kiss
eve wheres my kiss
she turns in mid flight
but her eyes are glazed over
shes like a school zombie now
she kisses me goodbye
but no ones at home
shes already in the playground
aurora gives me a kiss
bye dad
youll forget me the moment you walk thru that gate i say
no dad i wont..she reassures me
yes you will i say
well tonite i’ll tell ya how long it took, ok dad?
ok i say…damn shes fobbed me off again
go to the pool
its very cold in the water
a real shock
someone said they felt under attack in there
it is an instant attitude adjustment
it is a defining moment of the day
its freezing
it knocks the air outta yer lungs
at this point most punters get back out
but us winter swimmers
we stay in
eventually you get a lovely warm numb feeling
as you swim through the icy water
your mind slows down
you can get some planning done
think things thru
the sauna is hot
no “outers” today
just an old russian guy enjoying the heat
i come home
work on jumbo
play with scarlet
who is both nasty and nice
i go out n do yoga
and shes crawling into the crooks of my arms n legs
and sliding over and under me
she’s being the yoga terrorist
we end up sitting there in the winter sun
me cross legged
her on my lap
having a good old natter
she sees the moon in the sky…but its day
its the moon-sun she says
later on the mynah birds start flying in the house
one gets trapped and squirted with some water for its trouble
it goes back out the door like a bat out of hell
aha…i’m armed with waterpistols and i’m a good shot
theres a mynah sitting on my balc
chewing on one of my potted shrubs
i blast the bastard right thru the screen
he didnt even know i was there
now he looks like donald duck
getting a squirt right in the eye
he flies off expressing his shock and awe
clicking and whistling
wow i’m armed and ready
my action however
only escalated the war
the mynahs were trying to get back in all day
despite taking several hits
and dropping some very nasty dollops in my house
scarlet a victim of friendly fire
and no truce negotiated

i keep getting “outed’ in the sauna at the pool
ie i’m sitting there
having done
or about to do my laps
when….
and theres 2 main offenders
one is penelope a lady doctor who should know better
and the other is gary a south african architect
they see me in the sauna
and they have to tell all the others in there
“who” i am
now penelope had twice caught a cab with nelg last week
who i believe is pumping up painkiller in his cab
and she came bounding into the sauna the other day
theres me in lotus position
or quietly engaged in a chat with someone
when
steve steve
i caught a cab your friend drives the really slim guy
and he played me 3 or 4 tracks off your new album
and OH BOY EVERYBODY
DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS?????
YOU DONT???
THIS GUY IS A GREAT MUSO!!!
I HEARD HIS NEW ALBUM I”M BUYING A COPY FOR MY BROTHER IN LAW
WHO SHOULD I BUY IT FROM STEVE?? YOU OR A RECORD SHOP
COZ I DONT WANT ANYONE GETTING YOUR MONEY!
I”D RATHER GIVE IT ALL TO YOU!
HEY EVERYBODY THIS IS STEVE KILBEY!
FROM THE CHURCH!
STEVE… SING A BIT OF UNDER THE MILKY WAY !! GO ON!!
HEY YOU ALL MUST KNOW UNDER THE MILKY WAY
OH ITS A BEAUT SONG I JUST LOVE IT!
OH STEVES GETTING MAD AT ME NOW
BUT YOU SHOULD ALL KNOW HE”S A FABULOUS MUSO …..
etc etc
the other one
he comes in
he cant believe he knows someone in showbiz
even if its only me
it tickles him pink to think
hes sitting there with me and i’m a singer
although hes a filthy rich architect and some big shot
he cant help mentioning it
especially if theres a loada “strangers” in there
especially if theres any females
who he always calls lasses
gary:”a lass”
girl :”alas”
he raves on and on
in his south african way
he raved at this woman till she got up n went out
why did you do that? i ask
cos singing turns women on he says
cant you talk about architecture? i ask
nah doesnt turn em on he says
arent you married? i ask
gary nods quickly …yeah
what about your wife then?
what about her?
does architecture turn her on? i ask
he laughs bitterly
it doesnt even fucking turn me on he admits
what? i say mock incredulously
it doesnt turn you on?
nah gary says
ive built some beautiful buildings but….he drifts away
i imagine garys having visions of himself standing there
in some packed theatre, hefting his white fender strat
(the sexiest guitar ever by dint of jimi n marc)
fuck architecture lets rock he screams
in my imagination of his imagination
i see him as i always see him
dressed in his budgie smuggler swimmers
bit of a pot belly and round shoulders and quite hairy
playing his strat and doing the swim
his backing band is called the veldt
no more songs about buildings or food gary sings
no more draftsmens contracts neither
anyway
he always has to out me in his goodnatured way
later in the change rooms he says
i wish i had job i really loved
i wish i had your fucking money.. i say
for a moment we lock eyes
izzi thinkin’ what i’m thinkin’
i can see it now
boys this is gary, the new lead singer for a while
meanwhile buildings in sydney are newly collapsing
as olde sk tries his hand as another gaudi
(a flamboyant spanish archi)
sitting at some meeting in my 2k suit
they wont realise (for a while) that i’m an idiot
if someone mentions words like angle or foundation to me
i automatically go into a ten minute daze thinking about ambiguity
but just to pretend to live that life….to see if i could get away with it
anyway i’d do more columns and gargoyles and fountains
i’d be good at that stuff
money doesnt buy you happiness.. gary cautions
as he zips off in his sleek black beemer
and i plod off home
oh i am so sick of my own envy
the good lord says when you ever envy another man
it is the beginning of all trouble
and i believe it to be true
i really seem to never learn my lesson

tonite i’ll be rehearsing zoo story with seb
on sunday arvo i’m doing a cuppla songs at the gallerys opening
(mal turnbulli is opening it!?)
which is where we’re doing the play eventually
28 spring st bondi junction
i’m also painting like mad to get a pic finished for the opening
its a big picture of ganesha in bondi and its a jumbo sized job
i’m also appearing at a gig in glebe on 7 oct
which will be a comedic poetry type thing (!?)
thats enuff for now
painkiller available real soon
bye y’all
sk

have been feeling wildly despondent i must confess
despite the most extraordinary subscriptions from lovely reeders
still need to get through august somehow
in september sometime some money will come
its not only all about money however
tho’ uncertainty w/ no dollars is a hard dish to swallow
ive been broke on my own. manytimes..i didnt mind
but broke + fambley is a bad combo
i am seeing how the other half lives i guess
tho i always try to bear in mind
that compared to 95% of ye olde worlde
the kilbee fambley is livin’ it large..
…clean drinking water and a roof etc
yeah september’ll save our neck again i guess
august and everything after…. i keep saying
funny i dislike that band but i like that title
scarlet kilbey is a full on fruity fruit cake
you have to see this one in action to believe it
trip-layer
guilt-inducer
whingey whiney wally
a real childstar with her beethoven hair
her hair is an aura of golden ringletted tangled curls
look im a grim olde geezer
i aint that interested in little girlies hairdos
but scarlet kilbey with her hair done up like a grreek goddess
and a clean face
she has the authority of some great opera singer
sometimes i put something schmaltzy on the ibox
up she jumps into my arms crooning in my ear her la la la
always perfectly in pitch
sing a line to a song to scarlet
there she goes……
and she picks up exactly in the same key
there she goes again
evie has a lovely husky voice too
she may be singing a emc track one day soon
but scarlet the woofle is la bombastica
god her pale blue eyes are like terry stamps
she stares right into yer soul sometimes
she is argumentative
she cant abide anybody hugging
because she owns everybody
and thus
her evie cant hug her daddy
and her mummy cant hug her aurora etc etc
things have to be just right or….
no thats it! she cant tolerate any mockery or hesitation
take her seriously or she may never work with you again
ooh she’d be a good standover man too
she gets up real close and she menaces
she bullies her mother all over the place
shes vocal and physical
she hurls things about
bloody hell
who was she in her last life i wonder…
the queen of bloody sheba?
tibor my $1000 $falcon wagon needed his brakes done
we were thru to the discs i know it
i had to make the rotten decision of getting em fixed now!
instead of waiting till sept
so i go up to my usual place
which is a big franchised group of mechanical repair boys
they good guys
they always fix it properly
but they just always hit you with too high a bill
in my head i said i cant pay anymore than five hunji
yet when i walked in
the guy had me figured for a seven hunji kinda guy
im sure if a druid walks in a suit n a beemer
the guy would figure him for a nine hunji kinda guy
and i’m sure if some real olde geezer hobbled in
this guy would probably hit him the real price
anyway
the conversation was something like this
i want me brakes done
aha!
how much?
well ah..
last time it was about 400
it was? looks it up on computer.(disappointed)…oh yeah
well uh….
probably gonna have ta do yer wheel bearings too
oh?
yeah you know when they get that brown powdery stuff on em?
oh…oh no…yes i know what you mean..(i hopelessly lie)
like theyre about a hundred bux a piece if you need em…
groan…oh yeah…i’m sure..but…
look i’ll have a look…if you need em i’ll do em, ok?
yeah ok…great…only if i need em
of course!
(i’m thinking of saying that olde thing
you know, show me the old parts when youre done
but i wouldnt know my own olde ball fucking bearings
from any olde bit of iron this geezer would show me)
have ya got ABS asks another overalled bloke there
whats ABS? i venture
the geezer on the computer catches his eye n then mine
we all know i’m gonna be paying $700 now
sho-enuff
he rings up in the afternoon
mistah kilbee? its jim from lube king
your car is ready sir
how much?
he reels off a lot of half muttered things i can hardly hear
systemizing the…
complete overhaul of the..forward….socket…cable
bracket…replaced …. gasket….rocker…..oil leek
flushed the …….ashtray…repositioned….repaired..
rust…bucket….dunder mifflin muffler…suspension
inspection….torque..brand new…special bing bangs
servicing the…..whisper…
and then a long sucking sigh as he works it all out
and gives me a generous regulars rebate…say….
seven hundred and ten dollars sir
aha
we all knew i’d be a seven hunji kinda guy
he just chucked the extra ten on so as not to seem impolite
or too presumptuous…
when i get there a nother bloke is manning the cash reg
i ruefully count out my exactly 710 bucks
geezer behind the reg says its 736 mate with blah blah n blah blah
they told me 710 on the phone i hear my smallest voice say
not expecting much
really? he says
he just jumps on the old computer
and changes the price of the bing bongs
from 76 bucks to 50 bucks
ha ha he laughs there you go
he prints out a new one
my invoice now reads 710 instead of 736
gee
and a cynical voice inside me says
yes thats how easy it all is
and no mention of wheel bearings anywhere neither
fuck they just make it all up…!
like anything i guess
like donald trump is charging 27 k to have dinner with him
how did he arrive at that figure?
can you imagine..
charging thousands of bucks to eat din dins with you
why not get em to pay for anything else
eg
a short walk in the park with trump: 55 k
talk to him while youre both having a whizz : 78.5 k
motioning to him while he drives off : 6 k per motion
having him sneer at you across a crowded conference room : 3 k
having him sneeze on you in an elevator : 300 bucks per droplet
watching him eat dinner through the glass while its snowing : 5 k
being evicted by him personally out of yer apt.: 54 k
being thoroughly fired and sexually harassed :43 k
being completely ignored : 24 k
figuring out his hairdo (see: money doesnt get you everything!) 5 k
ha ha ha
i should sell myself out
available for having dinner
starting at .01 k and you buy dinner
ha…ha
i must be dreamin’

lovekiller

sometimes i’m uncertain that i’m truly invisible
i see my shadow on the wall
2 candles flicker and i move like a fly trapped in haze
in the middle of the night gone on all fours
the shadow looms and threatens
my fingers are numb
the stars seem far away
the floorboards are lewdly bare
a picture of some hindu god has fallen down
i cut myself and stare at my crimson blood
i cry and my tears mingle with my blood forming some circuit
i’m back in bed… i’m dreaming
no i’m not…my hand is bleeding
i stare at my crimson blood
i crawl into a room ive never seen before
it all makes perfect sense
i dont expect you to believe me
a self portrait on the wall smirking
the pastel has all smudged like its been in the rain
the rain beats down outside but i cant see or hear it
i love everyone in the world although i cant feel it
i can do anything yet i remain powerless
in the longnight
in the night of fear
in the wee small hours im feeling small
i’m feeling all finished with
i blame myself for everything
what does it all mean i wonder?
in the night without a compass
i cant tell right from wrong
was i a goodman
was i a badman
why did i do this
why did i go against my heart
why didnt i start this earlier
and stop this sooner
why you why
why me why
who are you
who me
yes you
i am you
yes
you are me
yes yes
and thats it
ok fair enough but who do i blame
you blame me
thats me
yes it is
but thats not right….
hang on a minute
im lost
muse :thank the subscribers again
me: another confusing thing….
other me : i am outbound
another me: you’ll never find another me
esteban noche : more magic realism
dr johannes cuspinian : the big red book of spells
illuminati : we dont exist
axegrinder: he dont pay taxes
taxman : no he does pay taxes…just not this years….yet
newspaper :TOPLESS VERONICAS NAUGHTY LOOK
(see page 56 for armenian rail disaster)
donald trump : i wouldnt be caught dead in a cheap-ass blog like this
see i’m channeling everybody
i’m the english channeler
i’m the bass non “straight”
i’m broke but not broken
i’m a molecule of dna in the universes cortex
i’m like a snort of amnesia up all of yer noses
i’m obsessed with my stupid bloody self
and somehow a rat has gotten into my garage
i have no real friends they are all merely accomplices
i am a genius on my own website and i lean on my delete gun
i say this
i do that
what a joke
i have to eat my words
theyre not that nourishing
everyday i spread myself too thin
i whore myself out in participial phrases
i bang my drum down the end of cyberia street
fresh words
fresh words
read all abaht it!
a torrent stream of fresh words
pity i dont get paid a dollar a word
or i would sit here right now and reel off
a cool 5 million
thats right
i’d use words like
embellish
obfuscate
tetra
you see
i never will run out
my words will last longer than the oil
my words will stain the eastern sky like smoke
my hand is still bleeding
my arm feels heavy
quart after quart of precious blood
all moving round and round
my tears and my blood form a circuit
my sweat pumps from my poor pores
in the mirror my hawklike reflection
magic more magic
someone has put a bad bad bad spell on me
lift this curse my reflection would have said
if it could do anything other than shudder
the hindu gods picture has fallen off the wall
i look at my crimson tears
my sweat and my seed form a circuit
the glass moves through the bloodstream
the crimson glass
i sweat
the blood and glass form a circuit
the phone rings
who can it be at this timeofnight
a distant voice speaks
some other language
about the armenian dome collapsing
about the way they pulled hypatia apart
about the peasants who were mascara’d
about gay olde king richard and the blurred crusade
about lyonesse dreaming under the waves
lemuria gone beneath a jungle
bermuda triangle shorts
the instruments have gone haywire
i am kilbey in spades
the time being
these are my occult diaries

did you see that film rosencrantz and guilderstern (or whatever)
it was a great idea
it took 2 characters out of hamlet
and wove em in and out of shakespeares play
they had their own lines and then they had their other lines
they kinda fleshed out their story a little
a great move by tom stoppard the author
he takes this thing from something else thats hugely successful
and well known
and he appends his own star to that
same as” wicked”
what happened in oz before dorothy got there
see?
everyone loves wizard of oz right?
youre already on a winner
so you just write a prequel or sequel
or something that intersects the already known thing
now i guess that got me to thinkin’
hmmm
think of something successful that i could move into …
like …well..the bible…
everyone loves the bible right?
well….ok…i guess not …but still
what happened in bethlehem before jesus arrived
uh….
the 3 wise men…in their own words
doubting thomas …the spin off
pilate…the pilot
survivor: parting the red see
etc
now theres loads of books to jump into or out of
the count of monte cristos big book of christmas stories
narnia 8 : attack of wolves with american gangster accents
war and peace: more war and peace 2
lord of the rings 4: guess whos back…and this time its personal!!!
harry potter : the screwdriver in the axlegrease : the mechanic years
of course you can jump on old records too
sergeant peppers and sons lonely hearts club band
exile on mainstreet : the even numbers
before blonde was on blonde
derek stardust (ziggys brother)
nevermind( this neither)
saturday night fever :sunday morning wobbles
grease :on ice
andy warhol presents the velvet underground and geraldine
you see how easy this all this?
find something you like
figure an angle in or out
bang!
youre attached to greatness and you expand
look i’ll show you how easy it is
pick one of those great train novels
say
inspector derriere on the trans europe express
a bunch of real nasty suspect characters
madame fifi despottyvich…she had a motive
the lieutenant …robertson ponce de knack
lord pingbone the royal but disloyal viscount
hedges the taxidermist
mon beeb-beeb the twisted cardinal
jenkins cod-berry the english cad and dandy who is also a caddy
so all these characters on this train
ok youre saying
hold on tb
this books already bin writ
and sold a millyon too
yes yes
of course
who could forget the dynamited bridge
and the overstuffed old boiler
or when the villain rams mrs futtock in the caboose
its legendary stuff
i know the authoress lady agnes chrispy was beknighted for it
anyway
gee this is so easy and guaranteed
i should do it myself
take some minor character in the story
like grimble the stationmaster
or farquar the ticket collector
imagine farquars life
the day before murder on the trans europe express
imagine him eating his breakfast greasy eggs n a cigarette
imagine him taking his uniform to the dry cleaners
imagine him having a shave and arguing with his brother bert
see him collecting all the other passengers tickets
clop clop! goes that little thing that punches the holes
we see his shiny black boots
we see him arguing in german over the price of a ticket to munster
we see him eating the pickle sandwich bert has packed for him
we see him filing his nails and
we watch him in the mirror plucking nasal hair
and all the time
we know
tomorrow theres gonna be a murder
see….? its rivetting stuff….aint it?
ok
go get em
pick something big
attach yourself
reap the wild euros
and
thank me
20%
at least

a divine god crooned to the void
let there be music
and there was still silence
the void so full of emptiness
longing to be filled by song
more than light
the void craved song
the void screamed at god through its mouthless hole
where is my song?
and the beautiful wonderful god held his perfect finger to his lips
shhhh! listen….!
and there
there…..there it is….oh listen
the rumbling thunder was a deep bass drum
it boom boom boomed in the distance
and the void trembled at its immaculate rhythm
and god stood up tall from the bottom of the deepest sea
to the aeriest realms where atmosphereans dwell
he was immensely huge/ he took up no space
his face was the colour of a cloud before it rains
his eyes brimming with compassion and power
he nodded his lovely head to the thunders beat
the thunder roiled and boiled and boomed
and he laughed
a great white flash
and then the rain began
rattle rattle pitter patter
a snare against the thunders big boom
rattle boom boom rattle boom
his wife appeared a goddess herself
she said whatever this is i like it
and the lightning crashed like cymbals around her haloed head
and morning came so rare and pale
a new new morning
and birds began to sing
singing around the rain and thunder and lightning
look said the goddess
the angels had gathered around
their eyes were closed as they contemplated the beat
as the god and goddess deep groove became apparent
the angels thrilled to their wingtips
the thunders boom boom
the snare rattle
the lightning crack!
birds go tweet tweet tweet
the loveliest angel counted one two three four
and then
oh
their most perfect holy sensual voices
entwined and move within each other
the he- angels push
the she- angels give
they give give give
the voices go round and about and upon and behind
these were the words

oami-pso calyenthis sonvaanae
oami-pso uh huh uh huh
no rholyiemphis no bixi em
shunt yeh shunt id semifor

in english this means

oh my fucking god thou art so beautiful
your wife is a majestic delicious queen
if thou art not cool then who else can be
for you are everything and
she
is everything else

the god was pleased with this
he began

naxion celegriph tramelian em
dran shunt ver-meer empath tes

this meant
in english vernacular
something like

give me one for the money
give me two for the show

his wife then sang

westin ermelian traaph sif ne em
jarudi gog xephem ram bam
ba ba boom

perhaps that needs no translation

the god who was called simply god
instantly populated the world with all manner of things
violin trees
piano monkeys
beasts that groaned like a tenor
cats that mioaued like contraltos
crabs click click clicked like shakers
panthers purred like cabassas
the angels up above kept on singing like larks
the larks below singing like angels
the fishies in the stream going bubble bubble bubble
the cows chewing in rhythmic gulps
the lion hissed in the mountains
the whale under the bluest seas joined in
the bugs wings all going clicketty clack clack
god we’re with you they sing to themselves but god can hear them
music music music whispers the long grass
man suddenly appears stark naked but for a white fender strata -casta
he is a black man with wild hair
he suddenly springs down and the guitar wails just like the whales
yes says the goddess
the goddess of fortune
the goddess of sexual pleasure and winning the lottery
the goddess of good waves and bass guitars
the goddess of eternal wisdom and passionate kisses
yes says this goddess
the guitarist lays into his guitar
let it burn man whispers god
let it bleed for me
the guitarist started to play some chords
these chords did please the lord children
god couldnt even figure out what he was playing
because of the delay and strange tuning
and he was playing it the wrong way wround
his wife stepped forward

ne carrienthon on trovis on wintha..

this morning when i woke up
i had the lowdown fucking blues

ji gog
ne carrienthon on trovis on wintha

i said
this morning when i woke up
i had the lowdown fucking blues

sem trimmaa nopha ullis
sem nestlialien bimma sed

i felt so sad and lonely
lord you know i paid my dues

the surf pounded the shore like a kettle drum rolling on
the mooned even keened and simpered in the sky
the wind lashed the trees
the coyotes howled
the hippos and pigs grunted
the badgers snuffled
the crows cawed like rhythm guitars
the moles underground tapped their tiny feet
the bears growled
the camels snorted
the toads croaked
everything did what it could
the eagles cried
the lambs bleated sweetly
the horses neighed and champed
the great apes clapped and plucked
finally god
waiting for it all to simmer
found his moment
picked up his flute
and blew up another storm
wild was his song
and unbridled did the music run amok
penetrating everywhere
nothing could or would ignore it
gods flute was so on
it rippled mellifluously across the octaves
it defied logic it droned it moaned it telephoned
gods flute with its trills and spills
oh hosanna oh hosanna on high
and then the first song
on the first side
of the first day
was released
and it roared up the charts
everywhere!

.

the gently murmuring long grass
wending our way
the delta land
black angel steps forward
we follow her wandering ways
i memoryless
a merry wanderer
a good fellow well met
hefting my pack without complaint
the warm rain from heaven on my face
drops of His love soothe my burning eyes
we beside the mindless river
we lie on its banks dreaming
no sun
just a gentle grey haze
that goes on forever
one inevitable crow as a point in the sky
a blackness to emphasizing the faded grey
the vegetation is a complexity remarkable
meaning and determination the hallmark of life
the green purpose of it all still remains unknown
to exist but not have to think
decisions all removed
no right or wrong
obeying an imperative to find light
fighting your way out of the darkness of earth
to flower and bloom
wither and return
atoms burn
was there anything ever there?