The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

the devil
what does that mean
that his number was 666?
which number?
or is this some complicated bit of cabbala
tossed into revelations for the cognoscenti?
how could olde jehovah let that dude run riot like that?
why not stamp him out bang! like that
im sorry
but when i look at this earth
and its colours and its processes
and its marvels
the biblical stuff just seems……..pathetic
it seems like it was written a long time ago
by some seriously judgemental old israelites
with long beards and a big axe to grind
oh theres some beautiful parts too
and some ludicrous parts indeed
can you imagine a god capable of creating
the forests
the snow
the lakes
the oceans
is gonna help one lil tribe against another
and say things like
i am a jealous god
gee thats sounds like a human talking …
or whoever it was
running round with a bag of a thousand enemy foreskins
oh yeah thats what god wants
of course
and bears savaging the youths
for laughing at elijahs bald head
fuck him if he cant take a joke!
and the devil
oooh im real scared
hes trying to collect our souls
what for?
why would he give a toss?
and we all know how its gonna end
dont we?
it says so in the bible
gods gonna whoop satans ass, right?
well maybe satan dont believe the bible
after all predictions can be wrong, right?
god its all so utterly ludicrous
and so humancentric
all this
so these 2 cats can play a game
collecting our souls
and all the beasts n deserts n jungles n meadows
are all just scenery for the game
like in a train set
and us…
we’re like the shuttlecocks
naughty lil satan tryin to getcha with the badde stuff
self righteous boring olde gee-hovah judging you
yeah sure
yeah sure thats how it is
thats how this she-bang works
all for humans benefit
like if im jehovah
and i can dream up universes
as if im gonna be so hung up
on what a bunch of turkeys do or dont do
down here
or lucifer
ok he broke free
jehovah gave him free will
and he exercised it
sorry j-man
i dont dig yer rules n regulations
me n a bunch of the other groovy angels are splitting
so we can goof off angel fashion
jehovah says get outta here lu
dont ever darken my doorstep again!
lucifer says
we were already leavin’ !
and this incenses jehovah
and the angels with god
and the angels with lucifer
begin pushing each other about
and soon you got a war in heaven

now i cant believe that olde jehovah
who after all
made all those angels
i cant believe he just dont wade in
and end it
i mean
if he aint the decider
i dunno who is
yet although he wins
there seems to be a bit of a struggle
and what about those other angels that backed the wrong side
they must feel silly sitting in hell
when they coulda had heaven
anyway jehovahs actual lack of omnipotence
i mean everythings always going wrong for him aint it?
adam eating apples
whispering serpents
cain kills his little bro
the tower of babel
david goes bad
then king solly even
its just one thing after another
loads of misogynistic twaddle and unlikely carryings on
quite frankly the “good” guys come off as a bunch
of imperialistic marauding butchering villains
just ask the fucking canaanites
and the big J
he floods the world
he nukes sodom n gomorra
but lets las vegas go….
he just aint coming off as omnipotent to me
nor particularly kind or even “good”
why should one bunch be his “chosen people”
allowed to do whatever they liked to the “enemies”
eg the ones whose land they were invading
justifying the whole thing
with a little rationale that it was ok
cos their god said it was
and whats all this gotta do with me?
why was i raised in a society
where people waved this silly superstitious
n largely tedious book around
saying it was the “good’ book
good for who?
not the canaanites or the cats in jericho
or a bunch of others supposedly massacred in it
im sorry i just aint identifying with the israelites here
i mean their fight aint my fight
and their tent god aint my god
and then a problem enters the bible
into this hodgepodge of law and war and downright plagiarism…
come on christians
the flood and garden of eden are in gilgamesh
thousand years earlier
dont it make ya wonder?
anyway into this largely silly and (to me) irrelevant book
comes something worthwhile
well thats not strictly true either
they started a second book for this guy
the old n new testas are only joined cos some cat said to do it
anyway a new book
a new leaf turned over
and heres a guy spouting some beautiful stuff
no more rape n pillage
no more take his donkey and kick his ass
no more trumpets blowing down walls
just
hey
wait for it..
hey people
try being nice…
there ya go
revolutionary stuff
after all that slaughter n struggle n destruction
we have this enigmatic cat
and hes not that different to buddha really
and who knows if he ever heard buddhas teachings
the gist is the same
dont persecute others
get yer own trip together
people look after each other
live yer lives wisely
love everybody as much as ya can
forgive everybody as much as ya can
boy its pretty simple really
but
its the way these guys put things
they invented these little sutras n parables
so you could understand
where they were coming from
anyway
i dig jesus n his ideas
whoever he was
whoever said that stuff
it didnt say itself….
he was a genius of love
a soothing healing charismatic breath of fresh air
the rest of it
the devil
jehovah
the rules n regs
the justification for invasion n atrocities
dont interest me
666 ooohhh
how scary!!!

sitting here looking at the classic single collection
justa got my copy
david fricke has written some very very kind liner notes
theres some pictures of us
you may never have seen
ha nick ward even gets his mug on here
in his stripey blazer with rolled up sleeves
me im skinny and angular as they used to say
i got short dark hair n a stupid pout
then ploogy arrives all eighteen years of age
a teenage genius of the drum kit
an incredible character
us playing on a tv show 1982
i still had my ibanez fretless bass
making starfish
im actually smiling
peter looking relaxed
ploogy laying down a beat
on what was sadly to be his last real record with us
then live at the roxy
gee am i having a bad hair day or what
pete n marty look glamourous
with jd in ny 1992
a strange pic
then london polka dot shirt
short hair clean shaven
then portland 2004
the era of the modern being
ah we dont look too bad there
back cover
an early balmain shot at richards old house
god what mysterious blokes….
then a starfish shot
then 2003 in glebe spacejunk studio
then a shot from blurred crusade live days
when we had a huge lighting truss
the record itself i probably wont listen to
why would i?
i heard it all before
aint i?
but its a nice package
and you got all our “singles” on one disc
so there you go
it wasnt my idea
but seeing its out
i hope it sells millions
although that
of course
is highly unlikely

was kicking round a footy this arvo
with some other dads from the school
when i went to mark the ball
ie thats aussie rules talk for catching it
and it slipped right thru my fingers
hands
arms
and smacked me right in the testicles
holy fucking toledo
what a feeling that is, thrillseekers
lost my breath
double up
wow
into a new universe called pain
everything else recedes
someone says never mind
you gotta nuff kids…
the kids gather round their fallen daddy
daddy daddy dad they squeak in fear n misery
its ok i gasp
just go away
after that i play football gingerly
i dont care so much if i catch the bloody thing or not
hooo doggie
anyway
thats pretty much my day
warm mild overcast weather here
love
sk

the west and the east merge
the setting sun
the rising sun
the way is a long way away
god reach down to me
in the void of hedonism
in the absence of intoxicants
a grey day dawns
without energy
without qi
without oomph!
i am i am
being me of course
being the being you like me to be
hurtling over hurdles that curdled in my mind
a jumped up jumper of low highs
me and her and little her
drive around in dappled sunlight
we buy food
and watch the monsters of fashion and music go by…
what is the being in me that feeds my thoughts?
some one or two
where mathematics merges into music
where science merges into mysticism
yeah yeah
or where old merges into vintage
all those leap years i looked before i leapt
the lean years where i put on weight
the salad days i ate chocolate
the days of wine n roses were
the days of poppies n poppies
what is that poppy spirit
that it craves to dominate us
out thinking us at every turn ?
like a cold that lasted for ten years….
everything dancing with everything else
or jostling up alongside
the poppy the human
the human says
oh sweet plant
oh you take away my pain!
and the plant says
yes i do
but you dont know the price yet
but the human doesnt hear that
or doesnt want to hear that
and the poppy spirit
enters the human
and its very hard to get it out
and it will pull every trick in the book
to remain
you see the grape on the vine
spirit of dionysus
says drink me down
and laugh and be merry
the coca leaf says
i will make you superhuman
the pot plant just smiles and
its resin catches the sunlight
the ergot on the rye brings visions
of heavy hell n hello heaven
the peyote explodes inside you
and you see for the first time
these things are not remnants of the sixties
these are eternal spirits in eternal contact with mankind
i have known and wrestled with them
i see them now for what they are
neither good nor bad
they are
and they show neither favour or mercy
they contain the best and the worst
they are agents of maya befuddling us
they are in symbiotic relationships with us
just like a fever
they need you as a host
to perpetuate them
to take up residence
where youll never find them
silently asking for more of themselves
fighting back hard when you fight them
showing you great beauty and harsher truths
mans need to change his consciousness
you cant sneer at that
you cant deny it
you shouldnt outlaw it
it is a need
like food or land
but it is a journey
and journeys must needs have pitfalls and setbacks
and there is always some kinda price
you mightnt realise it at the time
some journeys cost more than others
some are very dangerous
and most travellers perish who go that way
i love intoxication
i always have
i always will
im prepared to pay the various prices
but im weary of it at the same time
realising it ultimately is a dead end
what a shame our natural condition was not serene or exstatic
a shame that truth is found in wine
cos so are hangovers
any way
im gonna do some yoga
itself a consciousness changing thing
except when its all over
you feel good
not hollow
like me
today

sweet sweet love
it will last
it will last
love that produces these lovely daughters
outta nowhere
daughters with wild hair like little dryads n naiads
or lovely blonde straight hair and dusky skin
gentle kind creatures who bring more love
music
intoxication
the 4/4 beat of love
goldfrapp
spacemen 3
massive attack
spain
chapterhouse
trex
air
blank n jones
music condusive to love
im not a fighter im a lover
but i will fight for love
music n love so intertwined
music from love
love of music
i am a music lover, lover
make music make love music
i will provide the bass
i will provide the never ending pulse
the deep low end
you know i’ll be there
underneath it all
and my timing is true
i never falter
as i nail the beat
back with 4 beats
4/4 childe
bang bang bang bang!
harmony
weave in and out
rubbing against the melody
unbearably pleasant friction
azimuthal spirit bearing down
spirit come and take me now
spirit come and fill me now
drunken lovely feeling
the low grind of the cello
the flute and the oboe fingered
the drum pounds
the piano tickled
the viola moans
the violin screams extasy
the electric guitar brutalizes
the organ grinds
creamy and overpowering
the electric bass
sits on the bed
way down there
and it nails the beat
it encourages
it hestitates
it pushes
it draws back
it speeds up ever so slightly
and grows larger inside the music
deep into the music where it has lodged itself
pushing into the very heart of the music
insistently exploring
the real power
the power to create
to bring to life
to call down souls to take on flesh again
little love children
summoned hither
our love must needs be personified
these children are the personification
they are music made solid
delightful children with kind eyes
with perfect proportions
with hazel eyes
with brown eyes
with sky blue eyes
children who could have come from anywhere
children who love each other
children who love music
tiny baby with her beethoven hair
child star
bells and tinkling pianos
imagination
this is life
the beat of life of music
musician of lifes lovely beat
coax and feel and command the beat
where it all joins up
where it comes into contact with itself
when the spirit finds you awake or dreaming
and the lion indeed lies down with the lamb
on broadway or sweet eden
eden filled with honey days and forgetful nights
and music all around
songs about the distance and the time
songs no one has ever written
songs that need to be written
else they remain forever inchoate
the souls waiting to be freed
by a musician
to join up the musics inevitable form
and the singer of love songs
that wailing crooning shouting whispering voice
those words of love
the promises of love
the agony of separation
the pleas and entreaties
those descriptions of love
those coded secrets alluding to loves embraces
love embraces music and they produce song
song sings love
song is sung for love by love itself
the instruments tune up
tautening
relaxing
testing
measuring
calibrating
the musicians stroke and feel and fondle the music
the music is personified by the instruments
the instruments made of earth itself
yet earth now penetrates air and ether
with its music
love of fire for water
love of earth for sky
love of ocean for shore
(for sure)
love of child for father
love of mother for son
love of music
love of songs
songs of love
there is no end to this
over and around
in and out
all about
interpenetration now of all spheres
the triple world
past present future
music constant
atlantis sinks to its anthem
which david bowie found
after umpteen thousand years
and he played it on a mellotron
on “crystal japan”
songs come from the future and past
from other universes
from other minds
from the dead
and the yet to be born
songs are spells
hurl them against mountainsides and lo! they open
the pied piper was laying down a groove in olde hamlin town
he begins a lowdown sleazy dirty tune on his flute
and them rats prick up their fucking ears
oh ratty says his song to their greyfurred ears
oh little delicious rat come with me
you gonna get down down in the nicest sewer
darkness and warmth and food and ratty love
disgusting sordid rodent music
oh but look at ratty go
go go go little ratty
all you little rats go go
over the hills and faraway
into the river
drown in this music little rat
and big rat
all drown together in the river of music
in the musical river
where down sitting on the bed is the bass
and the pied piper says
ok cats i did my gig
wheres my bread?
and the burgermeister n his cronies say
too bad, druid
that gig was for fucking charity
and the pied piper
he says
oh izzatso?
and the burgermeister and his crooked pals
who hate music and love
they say
be off with you vagabond musician
we care nothing for your slurs n slides
for your semi-quavers or your trills
and the pied piper
picks up his flute
it was his axe you see
he picks up his magic flute
under the enchantment of music and love
the flute resonated deeply
its own wooden nature
imbued with sunlight and earth and rain
stuffed full of the pipers intent
it was his familiar spirit that lived in flute
in the music lay the coiled spirit
and the spirit was a tiny version of a great spirit
the spirit of love which motivates everything
even
as you have seen
rats
and the piper breathed life into his flute
and the swedish word for breath and spirit is the same
and the piper filled with music
breathed into the flute
and such was his skill
such was his divine knowledge of spirit
and his knowledge of love
the upsndowns of elusive love
and this cat now laid down a melody of such beauty
a melody so fucking unbelievably lovely
oh i cant even begin to describe it
i have only words
but the music had magic
and the old people in the town heard it
and they said
oh whats that strange sad music
but the lovely children heard the music
and they said
oh thats so awesome
and they drifted out of their houses
they left the playground and the nursery
the schools emptied out
and the piper kept on improvising round that melody
in the narrow streets of hamelin
with natural reverb n echo
the magic flute swirled round that town
and the piper breathed a song into it
a song which had sprung from his mind complete
and the song said
childe
listen to me
come with me
wherever i lead
and the piper breathed into his flute
and the children spellbound
were bound to follow
in the jingle jangle morning
they went following him
and he lead them out of the town
into the mountains
and he stood before the mountainside
and he played a stoned groove
a rocky heavy metal mountainside rag
a song the mountain could dig
and the piper breathed the words
open yourself
and the mountain
who was female
an earth mother type
that beautiful mountain
opened herself for love
opened herself for music
opened herself for the musician
who breathed songs into this world
and the piper sang to the children
go in go in go in
and he sang to the mountain stay open stay open
stay open
and all but one child entered
into the mountains cleft
into the arms of the earth
and the piper himself entered too
and the mountain graciously received them
took them into herself
and she closed
and the music suddenly ceased
and the hills were silent
all birdsong stopped
and that one child
that sweet lame child
who had not been able to keep up
he sat and he wept
and i said describe to me childe
tell me about the pipers song
and he said
it was
the sweetest thing
youll ever learn
is to love
and be loved
in return

sorry no blogge yessaday
been “working” on new killer album
doing a song called wolfe
*
wolfe is mad
he cant run with the pack
things went bad
out the back
wolfe is sad
aw i dunno
crash his pad
out in the snow
its like a thousand little angels
on the point of a pin
theres no sense in describing
the place that hes in
its like a filigree diamond filched from a ring
just keep still and stop
howling
wolfe feels good
ah im not sure
if he could
anymore
wolfe cant see
ah thats no good
cant see the tree
for the wood
*
(lyrics reprinted by kind permission of sir dennis hog-wink
monopoly music 2006)
been working with electric guitars n mellotron
a mellotron is an instrument invented in the 60s
it plays back small loops of tape
its like a primitive sampler
jesus its all over every record from about 66 on
specially moody blues
genesis
the beatles n the stones
it has a keyboard like a piano
when you depress , say, a c key
a small loop of tape
of the selected instrument
will play a c note for 7 seconds
then it must needs rewind
and it cuts off
you get a certain technique working around that
it has strings
flutes
voices
trumpets etc
davy bowie went in for mellotron bigtime on diamond dogs
they have a very characteristic sound
and it adds instant “authenticity” to any olde song
like wolfe
theres 12 string guitar capoed at the 5th fret
in stereo strumming ferociously throughout
its a punky-glam kinda song
the bass pumps
the drums crash n wallop
then some television-y clean constant guitar figures
then some shoe gazery floating guitars
then some single notes that bend up n back a semitone
tim called that wolfcub howl
towards the end they come in in stereo
then some strings
some high strings
some low strings
then we find this string patch
that plays this weird little melodic loop
you depress the c note
and itd play this little melody
but the melody was made up of a number of strings
kinda harmonizing in some old1940s movie grab
a dah dah dah da da da daaah
it was real slow
i say to timbo
i bet this works
the song starts up
one two three four
bang!
i hit the c
the punk-glam song starts up
underneath it plays this unrelated string loop
et voila
my instinkt never fails me
it fits like some beatle string arranger on acid did it
all night long tim n i marvel at the trusting of the process
i just pick up the guitar n almost the 1st thing i play is perfect
trust the process
the ether is pouring this stuff down on us
dont resist it
oh its so easy
anyhow
then comes the vocal
i wanted a gruff in yer face vocal
so i go in there
with a special mike that can handle “shouting singing”
get right up close on it timbo says…like a live mike
he goes back in a fiddles around
when i start singing
my voice is whipped around in some kinda echoey thing
purrfect
the song sounds fucking amazing in the headphones
i belt out 3 or 4 versions
i do some doubles
where i try to sing along with the other voice totally wordperfect
it gives a thickness and a kind of chorusing effect
chorus effect is when two very alike things rub against each other nicely
and produce a silvery kinda sound
then i do a soft and melodic vocal
to throw in with the others
then timbo n i bang tambourines at the same time
tims got a little tambo with a “skin”
which he gets quite a complicated rhythm from
ive got an olde plastic tambo n most of the little bells’ve fallen off
im a great tambo player n i bang along enthusiastically
afterwards when we listen to it
tim turns them off
i’ll get some good ones outta here and stick em back in he says
he means he’ll sample a couple of in-time bits
and put it all thru the song
its a common process
you gain things
you lose things
by using it
but its much quicker than getting it right organically
muse : heaven forbid!
after that tim gets some harmony ideas
do whatcha like i say
im outta here
and i leave ‘im sitting there
figuring out some melodies with a guitar
my cd player is busted
so i begin the long silent drive back home
through the city n redlight areas
its raining a little
and i see the peoples faces out there hurrying about
today is nks n my wedding x
we are stretching the celebrations over 2 nights
last night was night one
nk gives me a little card with something v. nice in it
i havent got anything yet
but im up early today aint i?
see you gooseballs in the ethersoon
ttb

you know who i am
and you know what i do
i am this!
i am that!
you tune in to hear me loop around myself
you witness a man going mad
yet you do nothing
you see
you are included in my poetry here
not i wondered lonely like a crowd of clouds
but you did this
you did that
you taking re sponsa biliti
oh im over a barrel here
i dont wanna be all egotistical n write
being being being
i want to inclued you
exclusively
you as the star of my rants
you as the leading light of a new movement
a revolution of the heart
love in action
you will bathe in the glow of warm applause
you sit in the audience
you stand up and take a bow
no no
the audients arent happy with that
its…a standing fucking ovation !
the crowd are chanting for you
you you you
they want you to grace that stage
the great floodlit podium
you stumble towards the end of your aisle
treading on peoples feet
ooh sorry sir
(are you imagining this ?)
you you you
they cry out for you
you check your pocket for your speech
a sudden panic
wheres your speech
what will you say…?
can you make it all up on the spot?
in fronna all theez peeple…?
a few phrases run through your mind
“uh…unaccustomed as i am to public speaking….”
no no thats no good
“it gives me great pleasure…” well thats ok
nah someone’ll mention mr humphries…
meanwhile youve reached the end of your row
and youre walking towards the stage
clapped on by the adoring mob who cannae get enough
the howling cheering audience
you hop up on the stage easily
only assisted by some stage assistants
when they see you up there
they erupt
you take the microphone
ahem! you clear your throat n test the mic
the crowds cheers persist
with a simple hand gesture you wave them down
reluctantly now at last
they sit and the auditorium is quiet
waiting for your words
but
what will you say?
yes, what will you say?
perhaps a long pause at first
while you look around the room
at your peers
your admirers
your fans
your friends n family
your father and your sisters
your legion of well wishers
and all the faceless blurry faces
towards the back
theyre all here
theyre all waiting
waiting waiting waiting
what will you say to them?
how will you bridge this gap?
how will you
hold all of them?
go on then say it
say whatevers in your mind
go on!
quickly now
before the curtain falls
before they get up and leave
before they close the doors
and turn off all the lights
before afterwards
inevitable afterwards
afterwards waiting too
in amongst the audiences
now speak up
now heat up
now rise up
rise up like a bird….

good evening thrillseekers
its yer being back
and these fucking words are just dripping from my fingers
my lovely tapered magicians fingers
well here we are wednesday
the all-fathers day
odin who gave one of his eyes for knowledge
those crazy scandanavian gods
i tell you they knew how to live it up
of course i identified with loki more than the others
but now im ready to play him in a serious film about asgard
which in english means
the garden of the dead
or simply
boneyard
oh i would be the most wonderful loki
look if you are casting this movie
please stop here
your search is over
i am the perfect man for this part
casting odin could be tricky however
perhaps the chap who did gandalf…….
mmm…odin
he is old but strong
wise beyond belief
still sexy tho
muse : uh oh i see where this is going…..
well muse you know it really isnt that clever
the way you read my mind
but now youve spoilt the joke
muse : trust me yebby, they saw it coming a mile off
ok
i could play loki or odin i guess
muse : why not both….?
yeah…youre right..i could be both
muse : what happened with playing king whatsy in prince casp?
they never did the movie…did they
muse : you were a shoe-in, as we said in ancient greece
so you are greek, muse….?
is that why you whisper to me to move to melbourne?
ed : melbourne contains second largest greek pop in world
whos ed?
muse : i thought he was with you
ed : no i am a semi-autonomous function
back to narnia though
does anyone out there know if theyre gonna do anymore narnia films?
goddammit im gonna have to write my own set of brilliant childrens books
so i can play the choice characters when they movie-ise it
someone mentioned king lear
yes thats me too
or zeus
muse :need a bit of makeup n wigs n personal trainers for that gig
thanks a lot
muse : ive met the real zeus, yeblik…..
oh right
god im embarrassed now…is he anything like me?
muse : not really…except the white beard
anyone from those days i resemble?
muse : well….now dont get all big headed now but…
poseidon?
muse : dont make me laugh….
is it a mortal?
muse : yep
the big o?
muse: odysseus? get outta here!
was it either of the ajaxes?
muse: nope
king priam of troy?
muse : ah getting closer
oh at least he was a king then…
muse : he sure was….
not
muse : uh huh ..
you dont mean
muse : i met him ….youre a dead ringer
king midas?
muse : bingo
the king with asses ears
muse : better than an ear on your ass!

i dunno
here we are…..
i see ive slipped into the 100s when i was offline
from the 60s into the hundreds
on the blogge charte i mean
like rip van winkle of the blogge world
no
you little prick whos about to ask
why do you even care?
no i do not care
i will not be rewarded by going up or down
i know i give good blogge!
christ…youre getting
biography
poetry
humour
muse : me
rants
raves
rambles
off the cuff displays of spectacular weilding of the eng. lang
cmon
im erudite
im hip
im working class anti-hero
never worked a day in my life
im like those rappers who jus’ rap bout themselves
im this!
im that!
i remember my friend marc bolan said to me
im the groover n i move right in
when im on the floor the kids yell for more more more..
the trend of the artist to talk about himself
as a primary device in his art
oh i love to talk about myself baybee
im jimmy braggart
im pat ingmyself-ontheback
i can really dig me deeply childe
but its all a laff
yes andy millman im having a laff
do the ladies find my braggadocio attractive as somebody wrote?
nope
im just a stupid manne blurting it all out
oh i dont mind myself tho…….
muse: youre not paranoid youre schizo
and you makes 3 little muse
are you following me?
yes?
bullshit!
this is nonsense
you coulda been reading something really good instead
all the things you coulda read
and you read this
i competed for your attention
and ive got it
so ….
muse : say whatever it is you want to say !
gee….
i dunno
is this writers block?
muse : thats when you cant write nothing
but admittedly this is pretty darn close
oho
minna has arrived
i will ask her some questions
s. why are you here?
m. because …is that the question?…i was bored
s. i hate that word bored….
m.ok i was feeling unsatisfied with what i was doing
so i decided to do something else
s. who is alltime favourite singer?
m.god thats hard….mmmm…david bowie
s. oh thats strange….
m. he always makes things interesting
s. alltime most hated singer
m. christina aguilera
s. yes shes definitely up there….
ok what is your favourite film?
m.the roman holiday..do you know which one it is
s. no i dont….
m. it’s a great story about a princess (audrey hepburn)
on holiday who falls in love with a journalist
writing a story about her.
s. one word please on the following people
1marc bolan
2uma thurman
3john f kennedy
4jesus christ
5 me
m.
1. rock
2. myself?
3. vietnam
4. did he exist?
5. squirrel
s. thank you
the doodles call me the devil squirrel
ok
more questions
s.why is it this way?
m. because God wanted it this way.
s.do you like eggplant?
m. i sure do!
s. isnt it great being my daughter?
m. since this is a steven kilbey blog
and most of the readers worship s.k i’ll have to say :
it’s really great, wouldn’t want any other man to take his place.
s. you have 4 sisters…which is most like you?
m. aurora, she’s as sensetive as me.
s. whats in and whats out?
m. in: openmindedness, sophistication and high waists
out: selfpity, people who take themselves too seriously
and…big boobs
s.why do you like gossip mags
m.you ask me this question too often… i find them interesting in some strange way…
s. did you inherit my good looks
m. of course i did: freckles, bad teeth and thin lips
s. what are you gonna be?
m. don’t have a clue…i’ll see where life takes me,
s. what do you expect from life?
m. knowledge, death and love
s. 3 good qualities you expect in a male?
m. respecful, mysterious and cultivated (HANDSOME)
s. 3 bad qualities?
m. disrespectful, ignorant and selfobsessed
s. that should do
ive got all those qualities..
one last question…
do you remember that nasty naughty little game
we used to play on/with elli
where you and i would suddenly run away
and try n hide…
1did you enjoy it?
2do you think she enjoyed it?
3and how bad am i , daddy, for enjoying it?
m. 1 i really loved that game….i felt like i had all the power…
and it was my revenge for all the times she hurt me
2. non monsieur….the tears weren’t really a sign of fun now ,were they?
3. yes you’re a bad daddy for enjoying making your children cry!
ha ha ha!!!
anyway
thank you minna
special guest *
4 2 day
mmm thats it i guess
oh i think i’ll go n look at my teeth n lips for a while
(sigh)
bye

how hilarious to see myself on youtube
in all my arrogant glory
opining a loada bull
acting like im a marquis or something
success is fun
but failya shapes ya
thats for sure
i dont know how i feel to see myself
its not a problem most people have
or imagine they would have
watching yerself on the telly
rambling on with a penchant for bullshit
lord kill-bee of rozelle
supercilious surly broody moody mean
but not magnificent
people didnae dig my uppity attitude
my sneering and my nasty little smile
admittedly i cut a dashing figure back then
whenever it fucking is im talking about
but my know-it-all-ness ruins my good looks
i come across as an uptight fop
no man of the people
no regular joe
but some clever-dick prick
with a line in big words
la muse: things havent changed much….
anyway
(who let her outta her box ?)
im attracted and repulsed by these visions of myself
is this interesting to you….?
i always wondered how it would feel…..
seeing yer face in mags on tv etc
its just……..
nothing
believe me
youll get no succour from it
if you do ….youre already lost
being on some silly show
acting like a jerk and a right berk
it just didnae suit me
i didnt have the showbiz personality
i could have now…if i needed to
but then
it didnt dawn on me
to play along
but i dont come across as a rebel
more of a prat
its a hard thing to pull off
that thing popular people do
getting the mixture right
mystery
humanity
looks
originality
universality
marketability
i had some in spades
others i had a void suit
now im so tired of all this
to an olde man it seems like trifles
im asking myself what is the purpose of my life
not
where am i in the charts
but the answer to both those questions is silence
i like the new me better by the way
but i wanna relive my life as the new me
the new me i never knew
i wanna go back and have another shot
knowing what i know now
muse: which is?
umm….let me see
gee its hard to put into words
muse: its a feeling, isnt it…?
look the reason i write this blogge
is because ive led an unusual life
which is simultaneously a cliche life too
a modern sob story
on a modest scale of course
thrills n spills
i been hi
i been lo
i seen it up close
the best n worse
i lived my life fully
i did it m-y wa-ay
anxiety still haunts me as ever
famous or infamous
there was no getting away from me
no person
no drug
no fortune
no humiliation
no song
nothing
could get the me outta me
i was stuck with myself
hating and loving myself ridiculously
fucked up on a superioty/inferioty complex
mystery achievement…stop breathing down my neck
i wanted everything n i ended up with almost nothing
i wanted nothing and i got all this
at least i have my dear readers
to some how help me come to terms
with the idiot in the mirror
people to ponder my heartfelt words
and then write a comment
that has only the most tenuous connection
to what im talking about
my brilliance and stupidity encircle you here
i will continue to dazzle n disappoint ya
that is my nature and that is my fate
heyday was yesterday
and that was such an easy game to play
now i place a need to confide away
scarlets got a fever
and my veggie hotdog is ready
tonite more kilbey/kennedy
its getting near finished
see ya 2morroe
keep the comments relevant
ok?
ttb

you say you love me
but you dont know me
very well
and most the stuff i say ive done….well i never did
and all that stuff i denied……
and all the stuff i took
all the money just wasted
all the time being safely reckless
in my bed asleep dreaming it all up
there were no guitars or cars or chicks or dope
there were no nights or days and roads that led on n on
there was only lies
lies that enfold and entwine
where do the lies end and where does the truth begin? you ask
ah yes the lies plural….the truth singular
so many lies but only one truth…is that the truth?
or is it just another lie
gossip gossip laugh laugh
prod prod
moralise
demoralise
you really think i aint across it all and then some
horny dilemmas
sweet paradox
impossible things
thats why you read my words
you must be reading my words
giving me some sort of life
im tired of running through your mind
but watch me
i keep going
oh yes
long may i run
52 but i aint thru
nimble n naive
the knave of blogges
the stealer of time
eloquent tongue tied
elegant scruffy
elephantine tiny
you got no fix on me
elusive
but you always know where to find me
my energy crackles
my words are winged
my hand is so steady
as i complete all the details
those tiny details that make you love me
all those tiny lies
painted on the one great truth
what does this shadow here mean? you ask
nothing
what does this hole here mean?
nothing
what about this gap and this null n void?
nothing nothing nothing
you think you think
i know i know
now i been working at this for five years
five long years
almost everyday ive done something
put my mind into neutral
and ive sussed it all out
and im beginning to see the light
a very distant light to be sure
but there it is
so why why why
waste my time, being
as you can plainly see
time is not a commodity i have in surplus
im coming round the last corner
its all unknown to me from hereon
cant you see im just guessing myself?
who can or will gimme advice out there?
not the troubled brothers
not the dutiful daughters
not the freeked out fiendss
not the manly men or lovely ladies
not the bouncing babies
not the carping critics
not the dead dads
nor the mommy mums
nor the yawning abyss
what do you think i should do?
dont answer that
your evidence is inadmissable
whats in it for me?
and i used to answer myself
time
time is in it for you
now my gauges are saying
youre running out of time
and time to run
and you came out of time
and into time you shall return
but that time will be without me
just like you
you have your relationship with time
i have mine
i have spent my time thinking about time
is that time spent foolishly?
all thought of time is foolish
to possess time ignore time
i am the time being
hell thats just a stupid name i made up
time is oozing out
try and plug that hole
try to find the puncture
ssssssss
its escaping
there goes a whole 2 minutes of your time
as in
your time
the time apportioned to you
by the cosmic all
a slippery being
both of us
time
and
me