The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

morning you lot
this is gonna be quick, by necessity
happy eastah etc
(whatever that means (to you))
did my gig
was it a shambles?
chaos?
a fiasco?
i dunno
you bee the judge
a possibility we gonna put it
on here for ya to downlode

elektra has had some complications
still waiting for news on that

its not easy fiendss
im overcommitted n underfunded
somethin gonna give somewhere

i guess i m gonna be back 2 morrow
give ya a proper bloggey then
love sk

happy goode fryday
you holidaying fiendss
sk has no holidaze
everyyday the same to him
so i envy n pity ya
in equal proportions
gotta feeling todays bloggo maybe
ye olde mixed bagge
in which i pontificate on things
as if anything i can say
will make any difference
but inna way this science of blogging
is a miracle for me
cos (not that ive ever read another one in my life)
im a blogger at the top of his game
im ALMOST a better blogger
than lyricist
and didnt i declare myself the winner
in that field too
i am the judge
the jury
and the recipient
of my systems idea of justice
yes i am a harsh critic
but i apply that to myself
only half a dozen songs
this olde wordsmith dropped the ball on
for a quarter of a century
some people have written better lyrics
than me
but have they kept it up
record after record
in fair wind n foul
i never wrote my songs down to ya
n
i dont write my bloggs down to ya neither
its like yer sittin’ here with me
9 50 good friday
we both been to the icebergs
we did our laps
the water was PERFECT
the temp is about 77 degrees
its nicensunny but not ultra cookin ya
im sittin’ here in the internet joint
the one run by the jap girls
im a f%^&$ing regular here, joe
thats mah machine you be usin’
ah thats better
i putta lotta thyme into this computer here
and its startin’ to love me back
i am programming it with my will n intent
anyway
i watched the preposition
by nicky cave last nite on dvd
fair bit of tomato sauce, i’ll grant you
but um
in the end
i felt like i’d wasted the time n interest
i’d spent on it
sorry nicky
but i did love your book
and recommend it
along with the boatmans call
which i really like
but not the one that came after that
where the singing went up an octave
and it sounded fuckin ridiculous
and the lyrics were a little twee
(kittens in laps ,puhlease,yer sposed to be the prince of darkniss)
but im very proud of ya generally
(as if he cares what i think!?)
and shows that australians
are capable of things
that some other countries cant do
but he sure is a maverick
i think hes capable of anything now…

yeah its good friday
the day they nailed our saviour
why is it good friday, daddy?
whats good about it?
well sweetheart
its good because
the bad guys got jesus
but he hadda die for our sins
so it was good he died
in a bad way of course

look fiendss
i know one thing
i read the bible
cover to cover
i know what jesus message is
its so simple
be a good guy
love everybody as much as ya can
do no harm
try to love god a little…
thats really it
but religion has so complicated this
why?
so the same kinda idiots who nailed jc up
in the 1st place
the important pollys n priests
so they could use this to get hold
of the hoi polloi again
by the balls
with a whole lotta mumbo jumbo
latinate ritualistic supersticious
who can follow any of that
where did that happen in the gospels
no
its accretion kids
look that word up sonny jim
it means that blokes added their own trip
onto the inspired bits by the real deal
so you get yer c of e
yer catholics yer baptists yer luths
yer methos yer presbos
yer united church of upper downs
i dunno
where is that stuff in the bible?
ya see
when i read jesus words
(or whoever the fuck said them
it doesnt matter to me
someone had these thoughts
they are revolutionary
sublime
heart stabbing thoughts)
when i read em
i feel its all so easy
i feel so good
heres the message
take it easy baybee
thats it
if you genuinely take it easy
everything else will take care of itself
people taking it easy
dont interfere with other people
taking it easy themselves
simple
simplistic maybee
but true nonetheless
same as buddha said
just sort yaself out dude
dont worry bout him or her
forget yourself
and youll remember
well
buddha actually never said anything like that
thats my attempt at wryly
transliterating some of the pali sutras
for ya
ha ha
you know what i mean
i can put it in some fancy latinate for ya
whaddya want that for
ok
thats it
go out there and be nice
its easy
so make it easy on yourself
cos breaking up
is so very hard
to do
sjk

yeah fiendss
im filming the film
im halfway thru
im playin an olde music producer
livin in bondi
i gotta coupla scenes at skinny dips cafe
then saturday i film the ubiquitous
“party sequence”
before i go to the sando to slay ya dead
with mah charisma
(which i just had topped up)
boy im such a goode akta
i cannae believe it mah self
plus of course
im getting plenty of offers to do
more akting from the admiring onlookers here
theyre wondering where an actor of my calibre
has been all these years
well i started off acting a child
back in the sixties
then i started acting as a handsome
young popstar
then as a handsome not so young pop star
now im playing an avuncular kind olde guy
that you all can and could love
im playing a daddy
im playing a husband
im playing a troubled dude
who eventually came goode
thanks to yoga swimmin meditation
and all the rest of it
the theatre is the world
you are my co actors
this is the script
feel free to improvise
any how
i gotta get back to my luxury trailer
snort some brain draino
have my steroids
check the botox
etc
i’ll bee seeing ya
sk

thanks for your love n wishes n prayers
ejjk after 6 hours under the knife
op pronounced successful
dont underestimate those wishes
the pscycho-kinesis of good luck
the player on a winning streak
the belief
that changes the shuffle from a deuce
to an ace
it all helps
perhaps as the scalpel falters
the prayers hold it in its course
i dunno
i was operated on once
for my arm
it was busted in 3 places
i was still on the “gear”
i didnae wanna come in from the cold
but it went black
i hadda get it reset
this was in sw. eden too
i hadda get it rebroken
well let me tell ya fiendss
in case ya never had anything broken
cept yer heart..
breaking does hurt
but rebreaking
ah..thats excruciating agony
yer humble hero waking up from deep anaesthesia
fucking screaming
MORPHINE
however already being well along
the road to opiate self medication
the morph did little
to alleviate the fire burning in my arm
im never gonna play the bassey again
i thinks morbidly to myself
i escape from hospital
my arm on fire
score even more medication
down the train station
medicated almost to oblivion
the pain recedes
in the narcotic evening
falling down in my mind
so add that to one more reason
not to get on ye olde gearski
if ya need an op
then the morph aint gonna do much
for the pain
anyway
i must thank lord v
creator of everything
and in whose hand
everything rests
holding aloft the immense spheres
keeping the innumerable universes
revolving in space and time
as they must
and yet
alone with you
in your heart of hearts
and so beautiful and lovely
he lets you have yer hearts desire
if you can really handle it
fill me with your infinite love
let me be like i could
one down
one to go
sk

identical twins
is there anything weirder
than identical twins
there was always at least one pair
at all my schools
i learnt early about the diff
between fraternal and identical twins
we had the abbott twins who were 2 peas inna pod
and we had the holloways
brian had almost white hair and darker skin
john altho he looked like brian
his hair was sandy and he was paler
maybe weighed a little more
a pair of identicals usually reduced me
to some silly state of envy confusion
a willingness to want to penetrate this thing
this doubling up of nature
why did that egg split and become 2?
no body knows that answer
myself
i say
2 souls with same right to egg
“i tell ya what, sis, i’ll go ya halves”
2 souls with something left unfinished
2 arch enemies reunited as duplicates
or
just
2 strangers on a train
like the rest of us
wow i used to hang around sometimes
with these guys the king twins
they were so fucking identical
it took me ages to figure it out
oh those beautiful subtle differences
which your eye can seize upon
so you dont get fooled
so you dont make that ultimate faux pas, pa
ya call em by the other ones name
yeah ident-y-cal twinss
what a fucking trip
all those movies where id groan
when ya realise
oh no it was a bloody identical twin
that did it
the evil twin gone wrong

i saw a film once bout 2 i. twins
somewhere in usa
they play around do this n that
but at dinner time only one goes in
the other waits outside
we eventually come to realise
that one is dead
only the other twin sees him
the dead twin urges the other on to evil deeds
etc etc
oh and the grandmother teaches him how to
see thru the eyes of the birds
oh yeah that my kinda film
why not more of this stuff
and less of copsnrobbers?
shakespeare had twins
he had twins in his plays too
but now ive seen the true joys n tribulations
of being an i. twin
ive seen the confidence
the camaraderie
the support
the gestalt
and
ive seen all the other stuff too
the comparisons
the mistakes
the part of a package deal
double trouble!!
if i hadda buck fer everytime i heard that
you cannot even begin to guess what they share
how their relationship is
because the other one has always been there
right from the second that ole eggy
went splitsville
(and fiendss, they can split 3 ways too)
there she was, the double
the mirror
yer best friend forever n ever
twins fight like demons
ive seen e and m lookin round for anything
they could lay their hands on
scissors vases anything
they go at it tooth n nail
suddenly its over
not a word
all friendly
you cant intervene
one day in sweden one twin rings me up
at my place not too far away
theyre about 6or 7 then
daddy can you come over and punish her
shes been really bad to me
ok im comin right over
i get there
its the twin who rung answers the door
ok i say
im gonna make her sorry she did this..
is that what ya want? i say
she nods
shes determined
give her a smack daddy she says
vengeance in her eyes
i go in the bedroom
the other one in there
i say to her
you better pretend im punishing ya
scream n carry on
so she does
she starts wailing
im yelling n pretending
of course
the other one bursts in
no daddy no
but i thought you wanted her punished
yes daddy
BUT NOT THAT MUCH!
sometimes theyd cry when the other one was hurt
even if they werent there at the time
i tell ya one thing
if you took one of em out on their own
they would rapidly begin to miss the other
and theyd always say i wish she was here
we made up lots of games
walking round stockholm
kicking stones
or suddenly 2 of us
running away and hiding from the other one
we were even still playing that one
last year actually
we went down the coast
stopped at kiama to see the blowhole
which is almost never blowing
one twin uses the toilet
other twin quick as flash
lets hide daddy
we behind a tree
when other one comes out
its starting to rain
and shes realising shes in a strange town
and her father n sister seem to have skedaddled
the other one with me is laughing cracking up like a fiend
i cant bear to see the other one so dismayed
we jump out from behind our spot
ha ha ha
just like olde times..
anyway
i was myself dismayed
to find out today
that i musta been naive
to think one i. twin was
gonna have something and
not the other
minnas got the same condition
i might be goin over soon for a little while
i dunno
i think its all gonna be alright
sk

good monday morning to you
today im goin in to edit the footage
of the cchhru at the basement
ive already seen it
and its gonna be a real silk purse from a sows ear job
believe me
not cos i look like ive thoroughly lived
every one of them 51 years (baybee)
tho i do
not cos of bad sound and mistakes
tho it has these
but for the indefinable magic
that has been lost
the thing that held it all aloft
the glue that held it all in place
you know when people say
you hadda be there
theres some sense in that
i can think of so very very few live performances
that have not withered reproduced
in the sunny confines of yer living room
able to control the volume
ff and rewind
light n dark
pause
stop
the band have lost the hegemony
the audiences clappin n screamin
have receded to a polite smatter
the expressions of exstacy
pain abandonment
the grimacing that a guitar seems to wanna
make ya do
those crowsfoot inducing loud roars
instead of singing it proply
the impossible closeups
that no one would ever see
ah..
no one has ever really filmed us live
and captured it
cos it aint possible
the closest thing
believe it or not
is a single shot
of the whole band
from halfway up the middle
of the audience
thats who the bands playin’ to
not to a camera
six inches above and away from
yer left temple
so ya gotta see the whole band at once
its nonsensical to focus on the singer
thats why theyre a band, right?
i dunno
anyway
ive never felt the magic in live recordings neither
you gotta be there
thats it really
if you aint there
you cant get the feeling
on a cd or dvd at home
youve isolated one alkaloid
out of a whole drug
dont be surprised if the results
are disappointing
now ive realised this my whole life
im trying to think now
of a record that i like thats live
get your ya yas out
is the only one i can think of
and that cos it possibly snuck in
before mah critical faculties
sharpened up to todays
fever pitch
(nothin’ can get over the bar)
but as for anythin else
theyre all disappointin
(yeah dylan bootlegs too)
(and the dead, i cant understand
the dead AT ALL)
and all those tedious bowies double
live bore a thons
its like filming a play
it doesnt work
its wooden
its pedestrian
the cchhru live is a conceit
that needs an audience
it plays to the audience
it cannot play to a camera
the cchhru n cameras
do not intersect
its a one off thing
for that night
on dvd
on cd
the jokes dont make ya laugh
the music dont make ya love
the performance dont make ya live
so whats , uh, the deal…?
i dunno
its filmed now
i must only hope for amelioration
i must placate the inexorable gods
expressed in pixels n blanks
shadow n light
flicker
flicker
persistence of vision
you see muddy
i’ll steal from anywhere

ha!

sk

dear ….
how are you today
me, im fine
its a sunny morning here in bondi
seagulls, azure sky, white fluffy clouds
backpackers, tourists, old men playing dominoes
young girls texting on their poisonous mobile phones
shiny cars disgorge bright passengers
half lives
skin deep
frail old lady meets my gaze
in another time n place
she was a stunner
somehow i convey this to her
she sends me an image
a warm night, a garden
two lovers have detached from the main party
in the light of the lanterns
in the light of love itself
they stand among the shadows
at the edge of the water
the moon reappears
in its rays we see the womans face
breathtakingly beautiful
the solemn planes and angles
her perfect nose almost leonine
her closed eyes
translucent thru the lids

that was me she says
i break off contact
in a another second
i might have seen
that the man was me

bondi markets hauls itself together
an uneasy truce at the waterhole
hippies selling plants n incense n “eastern” stuff
the chinese massage guys
doin a hard sell on ya
then givin ya a good olde pull n push around
fer yer moneys werf
theres people selling hammocks
theres a great lookin asian dude
he gotta be my age
his hair all teased up in some kinda keith richard 1973
he sells military shirts n stuff
with patches stuck on
i got 2 shirts off him
my 8 ball shirt on ultc
n my super service as worn on all white tour
he buys these real cheap shirts
bungs on a lil patch (iron on type deals)
he charges like 65 bux
what does it matter
its the idea ya pay for
he had that fucking idea
and ya happy to pay
cos hes taken all the guess work out of it for ya

in the interior part of the market
people are seeing how THEIR idea is goin
some are cleanin up
others sit forlornly
their macrame pot boilers
and their impressionistic photos
unloved by the hoi polloi
i hate it when ya stop in front of a stall
maybe cos the crowd has almost come to halt
in the narrow spaces
and ya stop and they tell ya the price
of every trinket or second hand book end
on the stall
i was once the sorta junior partner
in a little clothing/market venture once
we werent doin so great
until one day my partner had the idea
of buyin all these scraps of material
that noone really wanted
all different colours
we got loads cheap
then i silk screened stuff onto the bitsnpieces
each one was an original bit
then she sewed all the bits n pieces
each individually silkscreened with
all kindsa stuff
rockstars faces
little slogans like
mandrax made me do it
or
let me take you to the empty place
etc
(insert own early sk ism here)
then she sewed that into this big sloppy kinda
sweater/jumper/pullover/turnover/pushover
these things, my sweet fiendss
sold like hotcakes
and soon we would getting 1000s a week from em
till the bubble burst a few months later
(by then everybody in sydney musta had one
each one was totally unique
i’d be walkin along in paddington
and id see all these snooty modelly types
walkin along with my fuckin logo across their chests
i even screened pictures of myself, a spider
and the words the church
this was in 78/79
so you can see i was doin some forward thinkin
mind manipulation marketing tekkneeks
even back then….)
people
i have rambled away my allotted time
i have other flocks to attend
and i aint even had brekky yet
just 3 gumballs and a bottle
of fiji water
yessaday i had an excellent nepalese veg
at paddoteen market (as evie calls it)
the scene of my brief fashion bonanza back in 1979
full circle now
sitting in the pleasant autumnal sunshine
with b. bouncer bouncing on mah knee
selling tat at the markets was never really my kinda thing
(mind you, there was loads of pot n stuff back there
in those days
so i m sorry to say i spent mosta the time
stoned behind a rack of clothes
freezing my ass off
and plotting how one day
in the far distant future
there would be a world wide web of computers
and that i would write my kinda memoirs
on a machine
instantly effortlessly
transmitted all round the world
in an instaneous flash
really
i was!
sk

i feel betrayed
i feel lost
i think about my blogge
that got sent to magnetic heaven
my poor unknown unloved blogge
that i laboured over with love

fiendss i hadda nice nite lassa nite
i took a cab over to sunny newtown
with george the wurldss brainiest cab driver
hes fuckin’ discussin’ the subtext n semantics of rocknpop
w/me
and its apparent influence on left or boho pollytics
oh yeah
olde sk enjoys this stuff a lot more
than
hot enuff for ya?
or
how about those fuckin’ roosters?
george is one of those guys
who you gotta ask
why the hell is a intellectual giant like this
droppin off guys at the casino in a cab?
george you always gonna be mah driver
in the nite time
(glenny havin the solemn honour of daytimes)
these kinda guys make traffic jams fun
in fact i got into such a heated debait
about something
that i was surprised when i finally realised
that i wassa sposed to be going somewhere
and that i’d actually arrived (baybee)
anyway
i was at the vanguard
where i did a soundcheck for hi fi mike
cos i wassa gonna singa coupla songas thatta nite-ah
great songs
the long way home
and
a new one
i only did the words for
the nite before
great music
sorta euro dancey trancey nancy blah blah bjorky stuffy stuff
i dunno
i hate labelling stuff
cos i hate it when they try to do it to me
what the fuck am i n the chchru?
ive had
mope rock
indy rock
alternative rock
pscychedelic rock
paisley underground(puh-leeze!)
any way hi fi is a cool dude
the whole album is great
buy one cos i’m on there, fer sure
but im shore ya gonna dig the whole cd.
after soundcheck
i went down to arch boheemian artiste n culture vulture
davey c n his loverly wife jeonga c (she from silver korea)
hes made this horrific horror film
it must be excellent cos i can hardly bear to watch
its making my flesh crawl
it is a brilliant film, thats fer sure
but i donna lika feeling this feeling too much
sort of anxiety as soon as it begins
total suspension of disbelief
(or even dat belief)
im also gonna be doing the soundtrack
and its gonna bee nasty
(i hope)
not necessarily my cuppa tee
but i can do it
and i sometimes like too
now dc and jc
theyre pretty arty filmy types
live in a warehouse in gothsville
hes seen more arthouse movies
than youve had hot dinners etc etc
i wondering to myself how could he have escaped my blogge
so long
so there ya go d and j
you boheemian hipsters have finally been recognised
but remember
ya start out hip
you end up hip replacement
thats the way it is

anyway we had vegetarian vietnamese
delishus
we smoked some jazz cigarettes
we hit the vanguard
(naughty old sk had a double red bull n voddy)
i met the other luminaries
who were guestsingers like me
inge liljestrom
connie mitchell
and a guy called iota
who tim po. has just produced
who has a very mellifluous voice
he came onstage in a black long dress
fishnet long gloves n stockings
a big pair of boots
a fur collared jacket
and a lovely red velvet hat
(i think my auntie doris had one like that
at russells christening in 1963)
but
the dude can sing
i was pretty goode i guess
(as per fuckin’ usual)
the clapped
i said goodbye
bade my fond adieus to dc n jc
fled home
n
here i am today
i love ya
sk

i wrote a really long and involved blog
for you today
and as it was publishing it
the system went down
and i lost it
and it aint anywhere anymore
and i feelso bloody sad that that happened
another second sooner mighta been ok
an hour down the drain
its all gone
sorry
bye
ps eks op now tuesday nxt week
sk

strange days indeed
isolated in our heads
like ants deep in the earth
we assume everything
we know nothing
we stumble on fragments
we shout
look
now we know everything
we measure
we assign dimensions
we gauge value
we assess meanings
we search n search for a truth
already discovered
we dig in the dirt
next to a towering diamond
we kill the creatures who are us
in disguise
we cause and we become the cause
wickedness flaunting itself, as usual
same as its ever been
we cry out
how can god permit this?
we are swallowed by the years
traceless we go under
down n round
round n down
we determine meaninglessness as the prime
completely fucking blind
to the ballet of the clouds
the symphonies of the birds
the paintings of the forests
the drama of the seasons
you want meaninglessness
you get meaninglessness
and you get wickedness
science as uncontrollable anxiety
as bill nelson said in futurist manifesto
medicine races along side
half right, half wrong
just like all the religion
like a thousand little angels
on the point of a pin
theres no point in describing
the place that theyre in
like a filigree diamond
filched from a ring…

it isnt what youd thought itd be
we cant imagine what it really is
after all
after all that

you need to be constantly conscious
where?
aware!
look at it all carefully
watch yourself
what are ya doing?
why are ya doing it?
challenge the assumptions
demand the fuckin’ miraculous
but go easy on em
at the same time
hiss at the villains
if you like
remember god
imitate christ
do yer best
man
its so simple
it takes so long
we need it so bad
insist on the stuff
thats had love put into it
thats what ya pay the big bucks for, fiendss
the love
and you thought it was for free?
everything contradicts everything
its a gordian knot
cut thru the ritual
call a fucking spade a spade
if we all did that we wouldnt have to bear
the great weight of loveless mediocrity
suffocating us

im playing with el laney tonito
strandgatan baybee
well
thats enuff for today
i love you
sk