The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

this is my take
i aint no doctor
but this is what ive gleaned/realised/learned/heard/intuited
over my long years here on this planet and in this body
your body and your mind have the potential to do almost anything
its the most simple and the most difficult thing
its so much more subtle
its so much more obvious
its so well hidden
not trying to be cryptic/poetic here fiendss
first of all
the soul interfaces n drives the body in some tiny gland
in yer brain, literally the seat of the soul
yer mind is not you
its a part of you
the mind is incredibly powerful once leashed
however
if you believe you are your mind
and the mind does whatever it pleases
then that can be a real cosmic cockup
you are an immortal soul
without beginning or end
our “science” here has no way of understanding that
nor do i
but i believe it
with your thoughts
once harnessed
you can change things
the way you want
your body is a lovely delicate machine
it was lovingly designed
and if you treat it right
it should give ya 70/80 years of good service
dont eat meat
yes it has protein and vitamins blah blah blah
but its a heavy dead bit of animals corpse
its sad and disgustin’
and maybe you are what you eat
fruit baybee
cmon you know that juicy fruit gonna give ya life
vitality, fiendss
cultivate this elusive quality
vitality
eat yer veggies
enjoy yer (soy/rice/oat) milk
nothing fake or heavy or chemically fucked up
you know what im talking about
then remember
give yer stomach a break every now n then
dont ever under any circumstances smoke (any more) cigarettes
ive smoked em and they fucked me right up
will never undo all the damage…
a paradox
to get energy ya gotta expend energy
get chi/prana into yerself
breathing exercises/pranayama/tai chi/chi gong
whatever
just respirate
feel that energy which permeates this universe
let it enter thee
alcohol in v. small medicinal doses
at home i drink once in a blue moon
on tour i may have one or 2 drinks a night
to warm up or loosen up or whatever the hell
i do it for
but it takes it toll
and i always pay for it
i recommend cognac or stoli vodka or zwack unicom
these drinks work cleanly for me
but only as occaisional things
a DROP of red wine is never a bad thing
dont smoke too much dope
cocaine n speed whilst being exhilarating drugs
use you up like wildfire
once or twice a year max
exstacy ditto
smack never
lsd mushrooms 2/3 times a year but be careful
now we got that outta the way
you just know im gonna recommend yoga again
its for fat/thin/young/olde people
even americans
and its a system for uniting your three elements
spirit mind body
it works
you gotta put some work in
its a reward unto itself
‘the mere side effects will change you
it works if you work it
but it dont if you dont
got an hour a day
to retune yer system
get it running on all cylinders
whatever
i hope it dont seem i ram these things down yer throat
its just that
i was a cynic
i was a sceptic
yoga works
do it everyday and watch yerself go go
and walk everywhere
take the long way round
climb the fuckin staircase
go swimmin’
go camping
switch off the telly
dont read the gossip rags
try to stay outta arguments…
they suck yer energy right out
vibrate faster
charge things with yer good will n intent
count yer blessings
bend the world to your will
to understand something, love it
evil is the stuff that makes you sad n unhappy
getting olde aint so bad if you can try to improve as well
but better to start improving while yer young
when yer fifty youll have the face you deserve
be yourself
seriously
who you wanna be
dont put on a fucking act
it uses up vitality
floss yer teeth twice a day
find someone you love and stick with em
kids ll fill ya with vitality
and drain it straight back out
ecinacea works
manuka honey works
aloe vera works
acupuncture works
pranic healing works
astral travel is possible
there are ghosts n discarnate entities
there is a god
attempt to establish dialogue in yer own way
or
manuals how to do that
you know what they are
the sea has some special revitalizing element
but so too in clean rivers n lakes
dont raise yer voice …burns up vitality
if someones got bad energy , leave their company
or tell em to piss off
avoid people who make ya feel badde
grape juice has special curative powers…drink liberally
plants in the home
trees n nature make ya feel good
fluorescent lights, tvs, computers
leafblowing machines, aeroplanes,
shopping malls, junk food
all that makes me feel bad
listen to what yer body is trying to say to ya
execise yer will
make yerself do something hard or regularly
reality shows
crime shows
make
you feel bad
microwaved stuff is bad stuff
msg is bad stuff
being angry driving a car burns up vitality
being jealous destroys vitality
ditto envy
dont let em make ya feel bad
dont believe everything they tell ya
its possible that some govts
are cynically, blatantly
fucking us over
just like stalin, or nero
or insert classic imbecile dictator here
war kills people
everyone has to refuse it as an option for it to end
i dunno if school is good or bad
i dunno if inoculations are good or bad
i dunno if abortion is good or bad
so many things i dont have a clue about
never black n white always grey
many sides to one story
one mans meat is another mans poison
one mans fish is another mans poisson
i hate eggplant, cucumber, capsicum
i hate any metal music
and rap
they eat up my vitality
dont overstimulate yerself
be kind to yerself
go easy on yerself
thats my advice
sk

one of the children
another bad dream
its a black rainy midnite
i listen to equatorial stars
the bending notes free my mind
soft tinkles a life at sea
so still
so quiet
minutes rain down from the clock
drowning me in time
outside things come down with the rain
silver things
some good
some wicked
the night surrounds my house
it asks me my name
oh im steve kilbey i say
no not that it says
your REAL names
i think for a minute
for a minute i remember
somebody singh?
i was somebody singh from rangipur
i had a baby elephant
i was a sikh
i was killed in a skirmish with the british invaders
i had a wife and daughters then too
no says the night
what is your real name?
hanssen?
po-ti-hael
adam
i dunno
what do you want? i ask midnight
you always know what i want steve
says the daerkness
between my ears the tinnitus sings
like fripps loops
stretches out forever before me
the tinnitus whilstles every song i ever bashed out
every guitar lick n cymbal crash faithfully recorded
playin’ back forever
no battery needed
dont be surprised if i dont hear
the whole city screaming out for help
cars skid down dark deserted beach road
shady shadowy figures meet in dark places
rain increasingly heavy
a night for strange stuff to happen says the night
are you ready for it?
nah, not really i say
im gonna go to bed soon….
so…….says the blackness
the stars snigger
so what they ask in voices like frosting
what would you know what its like to be me i ask them
the silence resumes
rain patter pitta
clock tick tock ad hoc
alone in this midnite blue
my kitchen feels cosy
you dont keep us out that easy
say the nocturnal voices
the fledglings are getting soaked out there
i take a slug of grape juice
another hit of m. honey +10
sugars hit my system
my body that does stuff of its own accord
holding me down somehow
it really is the flesh that needs suppressing
its a suit n tie
but you gotta take good care of it
you gotta establish union
the night raps on the window again
you fool
it says
its already morning
things are already changing
the honey is making you crave it more and more
can you just eat it like this spoonful on spoonful
no restraint says the night outside changing
into morning
rose grape juice
its fuel
ready for potentiation
no no says the night
sleepy sleepy
dreamy dreamy
see you in your dreams
fiendss

very goode n early morning to ya fiendssss
im up nice n early
eating manuka honey
like liquid sunlight
coursing thru my veins on this cold wintry siddley morning
wow
i just keep spoonin’ this sweet powerful stuff
in ye olde gob
it tastes bloody wunderfull
i bought a thirty dollar jar
yessasday
an’ i’m nearly half way thru it
its ambrosia itself
its gonna make you vibrate faster n faster kidds
pure energy
like those cans of STP you stick in yer petrol tank
this honey makes yer system burn faster n brighter
all food is sunlight in another form
(even disgustin dead meat…in a degraded hard to use form)
yer stomach has to produce heat to break down the food
release the energy/sunlight
some foods like wheatgrass n this manuka honey
they hit yer system n explode in light
hardly any processing to be done
just straight mainline light
other stuff takes longer n more work
i heard of a lady who cured her cancer with a grape juice fast
i told ya that already
you see
when the pressure was off her resources
ie: she wasnt loading her stomach down with loads of
hard to process junk
her system was freeed up to take care of the nasty stuff
like deleting rubbish from yer computer
so you got more memory for other things
(a dodgy analogy, i guesss)
i dunno
you eat a piece of meat
it takes days to be broken down…if at all…
all the time rotting inside ya
taking so much heat n effort n acids n juices
to try n get the energy out
seriously
but this honey
bang!
you got it rite away
fiendss
i beg ye
dont eat meat
its death warmed up
youll nae vibrate in tune with the uni-verse
itll make ya sick n fat n olde
if we all refused to eat the corpses
this whole planet would be free of so much misery
its truly disgustin’
like slavery
and war
and torture
things needlessly dying in shame n agony
things that are connected to us
things that will poison your brain with their dead chemicals n karma
meat is murder fiendss
thou shalt not kill
try it
trust me…

anyway while im having a ranty-rave
on the plane home
i see some truly disgustin’ useless pathetic tv shows
while im tryin to while away the long hours
normally dont have much time for the idiot box
sucking out my will n intelligence
got better things to do…
like thinkin and imagin’ things for myself
anyway
theres this one show comes on
oh god it reviles me..
consisting of a “panel of fashion experts”
and a bunch of silly women
desperate to be models or actresses or just anything
…as long as it involved being famous for half a second
these unfortunate imbeciles are given 4 minutes
chucked into a room full of clothes n makeup
(how sk fucking LOATHES makeup!!)
and then one by one
they strut their sad desperate stuff in fronta the ex-spurts
2 of whom are so obviously fucking gay
i mean
why the fuck are gay blokes advising women
on how they should look n dress
or am i the only one who sees the sheer absurdity in that????
its so ridiculous….what the fuck would they know?
and they werent no oil paintings themselves, lemme put ya straight
and the words theyre using …sexy…sleazy…
lisping idiot cliches “im not feeling your sexiness…”
the women on the “panel” all ugly sick hollywood types
shallow cliche spouting bags
judging these poor fools who so wanna desperately be judged
i feel so sorry for em
now sk is no feminist…
but holy bejesus
aint anyone out there opposing this ….
people, yer beautiful as you are
you dont need this crap
god i was fuming in my aisle seat
then donald trump
and his “yer fired”
more desperate yuppie uber “straights”
scramblin’ fer a piece of the action
whatever you say donald, you big fuckin kingpin
you captain of industry
(boy i’d love to get up close to see how his hair “works”
just like gene simmons..its comin from every which way)
how could any self respecting person run around
at this olde fuckers beck n call beats me
oh please donald make me yer apprentice
im greedy and disloyal n desperate n avaricious
jus’ like you
i dont have decent bone in my body
an’ i wanna get to the top of the corporate dungheap
NO MATTER WHAT
I”LL KILL MY GRANDMOTHER IF YA SAY SO!!
any thing
please dont lemme hear those words
“YER FIRED!!”
i’d say its definitely a no-trumps call fiendss
(thats a little bridge gag for ya)

its like ancient rome before its collapse
a sick fat population worshipping actors
involved in a hundred lil wars no one had the stomach for
a ruling elite with no love or compassion for the poor
and all around
mean n hungry enemies gatherin’
focussin’ in on the soft white underbelly
are we jus’ gonna stand here quietly
and let them dish this shit up to us?
what good is it to gain the world
and lose yer soul
i dont want my daughters to think they gotta be
sexy or sleazy
i just want them to be who they wanna be
without some ugly old bag or fag tellin em
to put more make up on
or lose weight
or shave their legs
or whatever
the panel themselves were the least “sexy” crew
(whatever “sexy” means, i dunno)
why wood ya listen to them?
i tell ya people
be yerselves
find yer own beauty inner and outer
and ladies
believe me
i’m a man
i know a lotta other men
we dinnae like loads of make up or emaciated women
we dinnae care about paris fashion catwalks versace bullshit
we like happy healthy women who think fer themselves
ITS THE TRUTH

i dunno
who have i upset today?
probably someone right now
burning their copy of my records
are we really gonna let the world turn into this?
is that all we are, us humans
flat abs, tit implanted botoxed madeup success seeking travesties
chasing some luxury condo
with wall to wall tv screens n and a microwaved sausage?

count me out then fiendss
i like my people au naturelle
happy, healthy and in tune with the spirit
say fuck you to the “reality” shows
laugh as ya switch off the idiot box
and pick up yer book
or ya paintbrushes
or as ya start a conversation up
you know….gulp…talking to yer lover or family or friends or whatever
go out for a walk
look at the stars in the sky
learn spanish
i dunno
but that screen suckin away yer will and yer time
do ya need it
hell no!!
im sk
im leavin’ ya to it
manuka honey rules

aurora says
dad, is it good to be home?
i say
home is where the heart is
i sense she may feel im evading the question
d’ya know what that means ?
i ask her
then i say
it means wherever yer loved ones are thats yer home
she fixes me seriously in her brown eyed gaze
dad, it also means that your heart is your home

i dig my daughters ever so subtle twist on this old cliche
that invests it with a whole new meaning
a lyrical move i go for often, obviously
a big picture evoked just from the slightest
change of preposition
or order of words

the doodles are already writing songs, actually
good melodies and stuff
evie wrote the cup of gleaming hearts
the song starts
“for the family……”
aurora wrote
i dont know what everything is( because thats what i know)
but it pretty much consists of the title sung overn over
its more of a chant
baby scarlet a humming and cooing all day
nk has discovered powderfinger….!!!???
i never thought itd happen
i am neutral towards the finger
i really like some of it
some i dont really like
but shes got a best of and she likes it, apparently
i guess it takes an american awhile to “get” the finger
which could account for their failure to conquer the states
my self
i reckon bernie onstage has a christlike qualiy
a distant stare, a vulnerability
their best songs are exciting and the rock
in unexpected ways
sometimes they seem like bad company
too meatnpotatoes for this old weirdo
lovely geezers
and church appreciators
one said to me (quite surprised)
i met you outside the rock arena when i was sixteen
and you were……(gulp)..nice
of course ian made a record with grant
the far out corporation
i feel a kinship with them
let them rock n rule the roost here in aust
better them by far than some of the silly ones
also doing big here

in fact im gonna stick their record on as i type the rest
if yer a bloke and you like a kinda neil youngy aesthetic
but a more tuneful singer
and some good lyrics
you should check em out
anyway theyre all billionaires
“cant ya put one of MY songs on yer next billion sellin’ record”
i josh haugy but cmon
i could buy a little house if ya just put ripple
or somethin’ on there

anyway nuff of that
as if those rock giants need space on this humble bumble bologg
a nice flight home
sat next a gas geezer from sri lanka
and hes a buddhist
and we’re off
didja know buddha was the 8th incarnation of vishnu
i ask him
yes, but i only read it recently….fascinating….
and what luck
or is it luck
that lord v sends a lovely bloke
that can discuss these things with me
and hes got the 1st hand knowledge
hes sad about the tamil tigers
theyll never win he sighs..nothing can ever happen

my luggage is there
oh god
the stupid sydney quarantine man makes me open my suitcase
all my shirts n underwear n socks n toothbrush n razor n stuff
explodes all over the place
“its the elephant, sir”
jesus, i got a little wooden elephant i bought nk
christ its a change from the day
some goon dusted down my passport n proclaimed
sir there is traces of the following drugs on your passport :
(type yer list here fiendsss)
anyway the wooden elephant is eventually given the go ahead
to enter this fine country
wouldnt want unauthorised wooden elephants runnin’ amok downunder
would we ?
i guess theyre tryin to keep out parasites
i saw a chubby little american boyscout
get his fuckin’ beef jerky confiscated
bravo!
you just did that kidd a favour mr customs man
australia s the only country where they xray yer stuff
on the way IN ???!!
oh well keep those parasites out
i say

everyone likes their gifts
im not good at buying getting or giving gifts usually
but this comes off well
thankfully
in the arvo
we have a walk on the boardwalk
and its as if michaelangelo has decorated the vault of the sky
with huge clouds suggesting beasts revolving around above us
mauves turn into lilacs n powder blues
the cold sea like metallic pastel
inspiring weather, fresh air
thismorning i take yon droodles to schooly-wooly
hit the pool
its about 17 i reckon, nicen cold
but not freezing absolutely like saltsjobaden in sverige
that was at least 4 degrees colder than bondi
and its their summer
we are used to warmth downunder
i mean its winter here
but i just did me yoga out on the porch
just in my shorts
and the sun felt very nice on my skinn
anyhow i promised to do something
so i gotta go
click yer heels 3 times and say
theres no place like home
(actually i woulda preferred the emerald city in oz
to kansas…but thats just me)
sk

dear fiendish ones
as promised a missive from honkers
just arrived
and am sitting beside a huge window watching planes land
in the distance the improbable city of hongkong
surrounded by mountains n ocean
4 hours before i drag my weary carcass
aboard the flight to siddley

well its been a test of nerves
yessaday i arrive at stockholm airport
and the lady checking me in
jus’ wasnt digging me at all
despite the ole sk charme
she was not taken in
first of all she wouldnae check my baggage thru to sydney
because i’d lost the bit of paper from my travel agent
secondly she hit me big time for excess baggage
about a hundred and fifty bucks
then although i had a tight connexion in london
the plane sat on the tarmac for an hour or so
due to technical problemos
sweltering in the airless cabin
thinkin’ i might miss my flight home
i became panicky n morose
anyway just when i’d given all hope up as lost
we take off
arrive in london
instead of a smooth stroll to reconnect
i gotta enter london
find my bag and bass guitar
re enter airport etc etc
so the lady at customs isnt sure if im the same sk
as the sk from 97 when mah passport pic was schnapped
due to fungal presence of ye olde white beard
eventually she lets me in
and i charge down to baggage reclaim
aware of each elapsing minute racing by
(aint it strange how fast time goes when you got none to lose)
oh gee golly gosh
my big grey suitcase with its jesus and ganesha stickers
is almost one of the 1st things off
oh well t’ings are looking up fer yer humble hero
i wait for mah beloved fender jazz bass
my 7, ooo dollar stradivarius of the bass world
my piece of wood which i have a symbiotic relationship with
my masterpiece of a bass, even on every note
a thing i love like a child
minutes go by
i see all other passengers slowly but surely
pick up their stuff n leave
no sign of my goode bass
i start to panic again
oh no
oh no
i go to the sas desk to report it
im almost in fucking tears
my bass, my bass guitar
is about all i can gasp
to a very disinterested dude
who evidently doesnt speak much english or swedish
he pushes a piece of plastic towards me
covered in different types n styles of suitcases
so i can identify what i lost
no no no im stammering
its not a suitcase
its a bass guitar case
a big oblong brown thing
all taped up where you lot have smashed all
the hinges off on the way here…
he tries to pacify the raving hippy in front of him
just wait…it’ll come
anyway im standing there thinkin’
how will i live without my bass
when a kinda asian lookin’ lady comes walking
across the floor with my instrament in a trolley
ah sweet relief
thank you thank you i say
can i have it
i gotta recheck in
i dont have to long
she wont let me have it
no no she says
you come with me
she pushes me towards the red “something to declare”
customs section
while i had hoped to quickly pop thru the green
theres a queue and sniffy beagles runnin round
and loadsa customs ossifers
(sks pet hate)
what are ya doing i ask her
i got nothing to declare
shes waving this form in front of my face
you didnt declare your gun sir
my what?
your gun
oh fer fucks sake
some idiot thinks my bassy is a fucking rifle
i queue up
its not a gun , its an axe i joke
with the uber”straight” custard officials
finally we unwind all the tape
and they all have a goode laff
when they see my battered but lovely guitar
lying in its case dreaming of our last tour
“dont point it at anybody” says a dour lady officer
that musta been the funniest thing she ever said in her life
even the sniffy beagles stop sniffin’ to have a giggle
i try to tape up the case again n i rush on thru
LUCKILY for me
my cathay flite is from terminal 3
the same one i landed at
im a blur of motion pushing my trolley
that wants to go in the opposite direction of wherever
i want it to go
pushing thru the crowds come to welcome their family n friends home
i go careening outside
into the smoggy londonistan air
back inside
knockin’ people (carefully) outta the way
i get to cathay airlines
more queues
eventually get to the desk
weigh mah stuff
more excess baggage
thatll be 65 pounds sir
sk has no credit card
is there a cash machine round here
yes sir
i race upstairs
luckily theres sixty 5 quid left in my accnt
after having maxxed out my daily withdrawal allowance
that morning in stockholm
buying presents for doodles and mrs nk
(hope she likes what i got her!)
i go back down
pay the money
watch as my poor olde bass disappears down into another chute
its nerve wracking fiendss
i couldnae replace it
A) i dont have the cash
B) its irreplaceable

anyway i get a tomato bagel n a raspberry juice
and jus board my plane in time
christ what a strain on my nerves
im sweating panting n groaning as i sink into my seat
at last some good luck
the plane is half empty
and theres no kidd sittin’ behind kickin’ mah seat
(you ever had that???)
and no obese person overflowing into my space
ah…
i strap on ipddy woddy
to listen to the treasure trove of stuff
ive downloaded from marcus’s record collexion
bonus grace disc
(love kanga roo)
all kindsa stuff
emmy lou harris
sixteen horsepower
plus some eno
dylan
“sister lemme tell ya
about a vision that i saw
you were drawing water for yer husband
you were suffrin’ unda the law”
right on
i pull out my book
if on a winters night a traveller
by italo calvino
which im re reading after a long time
its brillyant fiendsss
do yerselves a favour…
talk about a different approach…
check it out if ya getta chanse
the flight aint too badde
my veg food is pretty unappetizing
but who cares
im on the plane aint i????
anyway that leaves me here in honkers
at the big window
my flite so far off it aint even on the board yet..
i wonder if linda wong is still out there somewhere…?
or what??
i wouldnt mind doing some yoga
but i dont wanna draw attention to meself
or get arrested as a member of falun gong or sumpthing
my coccyx is as sore as all get out
and its hurting just sittin here
but ya know what
you fiendss come 1st
and i promised ya a letter
n here it is
the airport vibrates slightly
or is that just me
backs aching n valium hangover
wow
how do people drop that stuff all the time
feels like i been clobbered…all groggy

also very happy that i can get on the net here fer free
unlike greedy london n stockholm
where ya need a credit card
and i think that my credit rating
is slightly worse than charlie manson or pete doherty
(busted in oslo a day ago with a gram n a half of smack)
actually listen to baby shambles off minnas ipod
what a tepid weak little goose ball
if he wasnt smokin kate mossys crack
he wouldnae getta gig anywhere
spineless little voice
thats the best song says minna
fuck!
i’d hate to have heard the badde ones…
only a matter of time till this boy goes down for a while
everybody braying for his blood
wouldnt be surprised if the swedish snuten
(the cops…literally the snouts)
dont pay him a visit in his campervan at hultsfred festival
the biggy in sweden
which the church have played twice
anyway i cant understand all the furore over this guy
when gw n his merry men continue their outrages
terrorists
communists
drug addicts
we gotta have an enemy, fiendss
just like in orwells 1984
jus’ gotta keep the fight going against someone
so ya dont notice that the ruling classes are fucking us over but goode

any way
any how
im gonna log off me blogg
see ya all back at my kitchen table tomorrow sometime
im gonna wander round n see what mischief i can get up to
at this airport
i love ya
i love ya
ilove ya
sk (jetsetting hippy turkey)

last nite in sverige
swim in the river
walk with my daughters
lunch n dinner
chi gong on an old pontoon in the reeds
ducks n geese n swans
soft swedish sun
never wanna leave
love the ones in aust
but love these 2 too
always a catch
cant ever get it right
one door opens
another door closes
half empty
half full
half ajar
dread tomorrow
in aust right now doodles starting school
sweden its one am
sit on a bed typing to ya
fell so sad fiendss
confused
ah theyll getalong just fine without ya
after all they have before
2 places at once?
elli stop yawning
so hard to walk away
walk away in silence
wouldnt ya know it
thats how life ends….

its wednesday evening here fiendss
only one more whole day to go
before i say goodbye to the twillies
and head off on that long nervewracking flight home
cathay pacific stopover in hong kong
will blogg to ya from there
free internet at the airport
today i wake up n feel bad
cant even muster the enthusiasm to do my chi n yoga
which mighta fixxed me up if i coulda
but it wasnt happning
sometimes you dial the universe
but you get the old “this page cannot be displayed” routine
anyway
normally i’d push on thru
but today it wasnt occurring
i ring up martin k
and we meet up at slussen (the sluice gates)
and elektra jk and her friend julia join us
and we take a quaint little train to saltsjobaden
the salt lake baths
what a lovely trainride past cottages villages rivers n lakes
eventually we arrive in this amazing place
these old baths built on a lake that has exactly the same
salt ratio as yer eyes
its really nice to open them under water
theres a mens side nude
a ladies side nude
and a family middle not nude
hardly anyone there
the water is about 13 or 14 degrees
ah just what i been waiting for
some cold clear clean water
i swim about a bit
the others reluctantly have a paddle
but i m really used to it cold from the ‘bergs pool
then for some inexplicable reason
they close down the sauna
and blow me down if i cant get warm for the rest o the day
they close down the cafe as well
gee it aint my day
but we find a great little place
and i have salad n beetroot gazpacho
remember you can beat an egg
but you cant beat a root…
and get this
a glass of orange juice costs 9 aus$
jesus how do the swedes afford it
come back into town
i have to go straight back to bed to get warm
im shiverin’ n shakin’
then me n minna have din dins at chutney
a nice veg restaurant jus’ round yon corner
and we have a walk n a talk
she tells me her friends think im snygg
(cute)
hey that aint badde being snygg at almost fifty bloody two
but it seems doubtful minna shares her friends opinion
and she already regrets telling me
as she sees it going straight to my vain olde ego
“oh, sk, yer still a handsome man…!”
anyway thats about it
back at markus s place
which has somebodies internet if yer in the right room
so im piggybacking on someone elses broadband
which always tickles me fancy
dontcha jus’ love a freebie, fiendss?
soon im gonna rip my friends voluminous cd collection into
my eye tunes
and eye podd
and hey presto
i can listen to all kindsa stuff anywhere
i must say it changes yer listnin’ habits a bit
i seem to be jumping from song to song
rather than listnin’ to whole records
is this a badde thing, fiendss
current faves getting a caning in the cans
are
romeo n juliet by dire straits
look, i just love that song ok?
juliet, when we made love you used to cry
i love you like the stars above you
i’ll love you till i day
theres a place for us…

memory motel by the rolling bones
which ive taken to playing a bit solo
always loved this one
maybe my fave ever stones song
(and thats sayin’ a bit)
(and billy preston died too, rip)
my nerves are shot already
the road aint hardly smooth
croons micky jagged
and i empathise

underground lovers eastside stories
when you go you go go
talking to a fucking dago
alright
go gb
lotta energy in this one
and another mention of
theres a place for us
(from west side story…a movie i love)

dreambrother by jeff buckley
the wind in her butterscotch hair
why lord why
did ya take jeffrey from us so soon
and leave so many other idiots still out there making
rotten records
this guy haddit all in spades
the looks
the voice
the songs
couldnt believe how good it was when i first heard it
and always guarantees pleasure listnin to grace

mimesis of course
hello…im tryin’ to place a call to australia
(asian womans voice) yes yes which room
uh um im in room 13 on the 13th floor
jesus polinski n the bouys cook up n ambient storm on this one
and that olde sk….blah blah blah
yeah fiendss ya gonna have to wait a bit
i guess a few more munths before this masterpeace
hits the olde market
if ya like sks spoken n crooning words
if ya like long winding weird beautiful songs
then yer got the right address here
not everybodies cuppa tea
the shortest track is about 10 minutes
but plenty to keep ya occupied if you like
this kinda thing

of course a bit of t rex
20th century boy
still exciting me in all its silliness
all these years later
friends say its fine
friends say its good…
rock on boppin’ elf
i’ll be listnin to yer goode records till i die
and avoiding yer bad ones like the plague too
a glaring example of how cocaine can strip yer talent
outta yer soul and leave ya useless
but , marc, yer best is the best
beard of stars( yes raw ramp, one of mah faves)

um well
i guess thats about it for this washed up olde rocker
think i better check me emails n see
if i can get a bitta yoga in
its started to get cool again here in stockholm
and its raining gently
mark lanegan playing in the background
quite enjoying it actually
also heard greg dullies new one twilight singers last nite
very impressed
so thats it
a nice break from all the effing soul searching stuff
here on this bloggy lately
thanks for tuning in
see ya 2morrow for the final swedish broadcast
(narrowcast?)
my last day with the twills until ?
excited to see doodles n the bouncer
who can do lotsa new tricks…
shes trying to crawl and aurora says
look mom, shes doing the dog pose
(mom spelt mom and not mum cossa her jimmy stewart accent!)
and gotta get some lil gifts too, i guess
very sorry to be leaving twills n sweden (again)
but just like that song
im cut in two
love reign o’er me n you fiendish ones
stevie boy

nick cave sings people aint no good
thats not all true nicky
ive known some wonderful people in my time
now im gonna embarrass em
even the ones who dont read this blogge
1st of all my poor old mum
she carried me
a big fat baby
for 9 months
(dont scoff till ya tried it)
she taught me to tie my shoes
and to enjoy language
my mum was bombed every nite in the blitz of london
she hadda leave school real early
to work when she coulda been an academic or something
other than a steno-sec
she didnt always know what to do with her cheeky precocious son
she’d never heard of enfant terribles and i was that in spades
my olde dad you know about
he had the music in him
and the 2nd world war interrupted whatever other plans he may have had
he was much funnier, and more talented than me but i guess
he never got the breaks
besides he was a zen kinda guy
he never complained or cried or betrayed any weaknesses
he died too too young
and i miss him every day
my bruvver rusty
jesus he took some punishment from me
he was a much nicer kid than me
and everybody loved him
anyway we’re great mates now n thats the main thing
bruvver john, so much younger than me
we always been pretty close
now he runs kh and teaches geniuses
a bit more saintly than me or rusty
very patient
the guys i played music with
ken n joe n dave from baby grande
you were right to kick me out fellas
i was a pain in the arse the whole time
and i didnae have a cloo what i was trying to do
dave, youre still one of my fave guitar players ever
i kneel and worship at yer ability to play them silver strings
you were better in 1974 than i could be if i had a thousand lifetimes to practice
dave young also another great player n writer pre b.g.
he lost some fingers in a bike accident but could still play
like a demon
bronny n joanna from the act debating team
we nearly went all the way to the top, didnt we?
and we had a fucking hoot too
peter k
been my buddy for a long long time now
over 30 years
jesus
another natural who i could never emulate
an intaresting character
a devils advocate
he likes to shake it up
i shoulda listened to your warnings more often pk
but i was slow dazzled by everything
mwp
what a fucking trooper
have guitar, will travel
always developing getting better n better
stuck by me thru some very nasty times
and i’ll always appreciate it
tim p
for reorganizing n reenergising the mess
that you came into….
an old boys club going nowhere
the MOST patient man i have ever met
he can deal with anything
and he usually does
easily easily the best drummer
i ever played with hands down
chris gilbey for havin a bitta faith in the beginning
even tho it went a bit bad at the end
KLK who put his money where his mouth was
another of natures gentlemen
stood by watching me self destruct n never wagged a finger
my olde mate martin k
another guy who was ALWAYS there for me when the chips were down
sometimes the only one who was
you saved my ass a few times
and i’ll never forget it
karin j for her persistence n good faith
and helpin me write some songs
and for givin me elli n minna
theyre a credit to ya
her husband gorm who always made me welcome
when he neednt have
my olde buddy markus s
im so glad to see ya again and in love
(he’ll really hate being mentioned here
but i love the manne, what can i say)
my wife nk
who went thru so many junk withdrawals with me
and like klk
never said i told ya so
she just was there
and she loved me hard
and i love her for her beauty n soft words
and cos she gave me a, e n s
and cos we’re such a happy family
my sister in law amy s
what a lovely talented beautiful lady
gave me my first set of pastels too
zoe…youre lovely
wendy her mum
a truly truly miraculous woman
is there anything she cant do?
shes cured a million things
and never laid a finger on me!!
holly j
who encouraged me tp paint
and has helped me realise it
g nunn
ditto for poetry
boydie for nsew when there was nothing n nobody else
to m farrant for the maven…just dont say quirky!
to the guys who started shadow cab n hotelwomb
we’d be almost nowhere without ya
to grant
who ya know i love
to patti hoodlum
whatta lady n harpist
cant wait to see ya
ricky or rikki or however ya spell it
the only guy who can hang round yer house all day
n nobody ever gets sick of
ernst
the dutch norwegian dude
shame it wassa short one in london
to kevvy nejjy
in buda
a real surprise
ya did ya gig with style n aplomb
and
youre a really lovely bloke
james n suzanne b
my true friends
people who put their arses on the line in places other people
dont wanna go
like malawi, mongolia , indonesia
the lil lord
i love that woman
polinski
not gonna swell his head again

and of course
the readers on my blogge
who agree disagree
but
they care
i wanna say a few words of encouragement to mark m
i been hearin about yer troubles, mate
and if my bloggy cheers ya up
thats the least i could do
hope yer improving
to the lady from yessaday
with the nasty nasty growth
i am convinced veganism n meditation
and all the good things are the way to go
youve touched my heart
and we’re praying for you n yer daughters here
to sue c
what can i say..?
all the rest of ya
i dont want a big schmaltzy love in here
cos im really a hard bastard
but you got me hooked on this thing
i cant wait to read yer comments
each day
we got somethin like 700 people a day on here
if ya dont post any comments
go ahead…be a devil
youre my readers
youre my conscience
otherwise if ya didnae exist
i woodnt bovver writing nuffink
at all
anyone whos bought my music
or art
or poetry
i appreciate you had other choices
thanks for flying with sk airways
theyre may still be some turbulence ahead
sorry i aint answered all them questions yet…
i hope to do so slowly
if i didnt mention ya
doesnt mean i dont love ya
i do
we’re all kinda in thiss together
i aint gotta clue where its all going
but im excited…
and honoured
to have y’all part of my life so far
see ya soon
im having dinner with minna glowy
and elli bear
twas their last day of school today..
its a heatwave here…
love
steven

masks of humanity
the tall and the handsome
the legless and lonely
old alcoholic women curse n spit
models stride by, oblivious in their frozen contempt
children urchins spoilt brats orphans
angry businessmen screaming down the line
crooked liars
saintly mages
hungry ghosts on my back
sucking up my addictions
gamblers roll the dice
farmers watch the sky
soldiers keeping peace
hindus n jains
islam n jews
blacks n whites
boys n girls
doctors cut deep
nurses mop up
drivers swerve
the fortune tellers gaze into my palm
the stargazers blind in the light
all these parts i will have played
half angel
half beast
half human
3 quarters of my life evaporated somewhere
years melt
i wake up worried
some bad omen
some intrusion from a thousand years of living
god , coy, elusive, seemingly random
people come n go
seasons in flux
storms dislodge memory
i write songs
i procreate children
i meet n greet
i argue
i pacify
to him im a fool
to him im another fool
a brave coward
a stupid wiseman
everyone looking for something
im nervous when i travel
anna miranda my eldest
mercurial kind jumpy pretty funny
she leaves me a note
“sweet daddy, here are my keys….”
elektra june my second eldest
a swedish helen of troy
beautiful arrogant sharp scornful unconcerned
aurora justine my 3rd child
and closest to me
old soul, brown eyes, haunted every nite by her nascent gift
she says the darndest things…shes so wise beyond her years
evie starr, her non identical twin
tough, resourceful, self centred, a natural artist n athlete
baby scarlet virginia
just a chubby ball of potential…
good natured, cheerful, but bad tempered if ignored
this is my life
this is my diary
this is me
a bundle of contradictions n paradoxes
my mum reads my blogge
she hates it when i swear
my dad watches over me from heaven
patiently waiting for me to arrive
“hey slim, watch yerself” he laughs
my dad who i nicked all my jokes n gags off
thirty years since we last spoke
wendy (a white witch)
says i have the purple aura of a healer
but i chose the electric bass instead
at this incredibly late stage of the game
i choose to drop the masks
theyve done me no good
i actually learn to sing
i actually try to listen to people
peoples sorrow destroys me
it goes straight to my heart and i cry
i have ripped the veneers away
now
im cut open like a fruit
feeling the pain n joy of being a human
i been procrastinating this my whole life
i thought smack would protect me
i thought women could shield me
i thought jumping up on a stage
and making a huge racket would render me impervious
i thought fame would make me lovable
i thought rocknroll had all the answers
i thought bad things only happened to others
i thought everything would be so easy
i thought i could get away with blue murder
and still be red hot
i laughed at the fools
i spat on the down n outs
i scornfully threw a pittance to beggars
i sponsored kids in brazil n india
till i ran outta money that i needed for drugs
i ran with the best n the worst
i ripped and was ripped off
i did bad deals with greasy pigs who robbed me blind
i had bad luck with cars
i lost everything i owned
until i realised it wasnt anything at all
i scrambled up a ladder
i slithered down a snake
i made enemies thick n fast
with my cruel tongue and my piercing eyes
i helped some
i hindered others
i lost people i loved
i found others and i loved them too
i married my wife
who was calm n patient n gave me everything
i started over
here there n everywhere
i read books
i watched pornography
i mainlined speedballs
i took ketamine and floated a million miles above my body
i drank booze n slurred n swayed
i went in studios
with songs without songs
i produced n engineered n mixed
i got good n bad reviews
jealous little cunts tried to cut me down
slobbering syncophants elevated me to geniushood
i resisted change
i made mistakes
i toured the world round n round n round
i did things most people only dream of
i did things most people would revile
i stooped low
pawned my guitars
i got rolled
i got laid n waylaid n paid n underwhelmed
i detoxed n retoxed
changed my sox n my mind
i was all things to all people
i was a nothing
a washed up prodigy
a naive old man
a rude boy
i took the wrong road round
yeah
thats my story
nothing special
i took up swimming n yoga n chi gong
i learnt another language
i learnt to be a father
a little farther down the track
i did stupid dangerous things that involved the ones i loved
i was nice to scumbags n never complained
when i wanted to score
i cursed god
i prayed to god
i search for god
i lose god
i search again
i read the chronicles of narnia to myself n my kids
i idolised marc bolan till my mother thought i was gay
i dyed my hair
i had fancy clothes
i was skinny as a rake
and porky as a pig
i was a teenage zombie
falling asleep to diamond dogs
on top of a stack of playboys
i read the gita
i read the koran
i read the bible
i read trainspotting n the fucking da vinci code
i did push ups
sit ups
put downs
i put you all on
i crashed on peoples couches
i stayed in 5 star hotels n stole the towels n ashtrays
i huddled in caravans smoking rohypnols
i drove a honda prelude that got stuck in second gear
i had a mistress
i had a master
i taught songwriting to people who couldnt write a song
to save their lives
i wrote bad poetry
i wrote good poetry
i pissed off people in the bizz
and theyll never forgive me
i got gold records
i got amalgam teeth
i got earrings n bad hearing
i got grey hairs n wrinkles
i got more energy than most of you could dream of or stand
im sk
thanks for reading my story

my darling fiends
children of the night
oh ive been having a lovely time
i been out in the swedish countryside
with elli n minna
and karin n gorm
and adrian n ossian
about 2 hours from stockholm
is elli n minnas “torp”
a swedish country house
no electricity
no running water
just peace n quiet
a deep cold black lake full of fish
snakes making love in the rocks
birds calling in the trees
mosquitoes biting all day n night
i get my own little “stuga”
a kinda cottage
with a view of the lake
the trees, the reeds a’swayin’ in the soft zephyrs
the green grass
the profusion of flowers
the aromatic pine trees
yes
s.w. eden indeed
if only
natalie n evie n aurora n baby bouncer
could have been there
things woulda been damn well as perfect as things get
in this world
imagine
no tv
no computers
no cars
no noise
listen says gorm
a million mosquitoes a’humming in the woods
i hardly begrudge em their feasting on my english blood
the long long twilights
the stillness at dawn
wisps of mists blowing on the lake
the first morning i awake
i go down on my knees in spontaneous prayer
to the perfect god
for this beautiful creation
everything in balance
was life like this in the garden ?
the weather is warm
golden days
azure skies filled with delicate clouds
messages to us if we could decipher them
we eat all our meals outdoors in the garden
grilled soy sausages n salads
and delicious swedish “saft”
like cordials made with natural fruits n berries
i swim in the the lake
refreshing cold water
basking on the rocks in the sun
like a snake myself
boats go by festooned with flowers n swedish flags
the people call out to me
ar det kallt in vattnet
is it cold in the water
nej! jag ropar tillbaka
no i shout back
hoppa i da
hop in then
i jump in and they all clap my derring-do
i swim to the other side of the lake
half a mile away
totally isolated i take off my icebergs swimmers
and stand naked n triumphant
part of nature at last
watching the small miracles of life
the ants n the lizards
the little schools of fish
oh i wish EVERYONE in the world
could stand here
naked n alone
just me n the trees n the breeze
the glass like lake
i feel so close to god
so hard to believe that somewhere out there
theres traffic n arguments n civilization
i want to stay here forever
i see a pair of birds lovingly swoop n bank
flying n gliding for the sheer joy of it
yes fiends
im very priveleged to be here
i appreciate that
i feel guilty almost to have moments like this
of pure peace
of understanding
of being part of things
no longer a human bean
just another creature taking in the wonder of it all
in my little stuga i do my yoga routine
i read my novel
(veniss underground by j vandameer, highly rec.)
i wish i had my paints n pastels so i could try to capture this
this weather dont last long
3 months at the most
but while its here it is simply MAGNIFICENT
words actually fail me to convey
the serenity
the harmony
i do the washing up n
i strap on my ipod and listen to mimesis
and born to run
as i happily “diskar” outdoors
huge black bumblebees hover in the flowers
small bugs crawl on the table
released temporarily from winter
everything under the spell of summer
karin n gorm potter round doing their chores
the twillies laze around in the sun
getting slightly sunburnt
we drink crystal clear water from a well
we eat swedish cracker bread n tartex
at night i lie in my stuga
dreaming strange dreams of other lifetimes
in the eternal light
it never gets dark
you wake up in the morning
it could be 3 oclock or 7 oclock or 9 oclock
my overactive mind gradually slows down
i become calm
i feel love for everything
even the wasps n nettles
even the stones n mud
this is, at last, the quietness
my ego becomes quite bored and shuts down
good riddance
i just take it all in
hoping to remember stuff
so i can type it all into my blogge
cos i wanna share it with ya
cos its too goode to keep it all to myself
if only the doodles were playing in the grass
if only me n nk could walk these tranquil forests
arm in arm, talking n laughing
i guess ya cant always have everything
eventually we have to pack up n leave
g and k have work tomorrow
and we gonna see ellis doctor
see how he thinks everything is going
but a lovely chance to be with my older girls
who i adore (naturally)
whatever happens after this
i have burned these memories into my hard drive
i will remember this even in my next lives
on friday i leave again for australia
that makes me happy n sad
life is a paradox
a dilemma
i think of all my blessings
even the blessings in disguise
if only this earth could have been like this forever n ever
no winter
no industrial revolution
no wars
no noise
just one never ending summer day in scandanavia
the lake
the sky
the creatures
fiendss
i love you all
behave yerselves
lets speak again tomorrow
sk