The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

add end a

the other evening hanging around in the time being green room

i was having a chat to our cleaning lady mrs macgilliguddy

who speaks in a thick scottish brogue

mrs mac-g comes in regularly to update and sort out our vaults

so much of your bloody stuff to look after …she mutters

we get in a bit of a conversation and after awhile

mrs mac-g (Why Steven, why dont you call me Doreen?) says

I’d love to put together a couple of CDs of all your addenda…

to cut a long story short mac-g and i went rigorously through our sources

and we arrived at these two cds divided in to 1960-1995 and 1995 to now

please see our comments below

mac-gs are in italics

here is the tracklisting for the cds you can now download from bandcamp

(or, of course, you can pick and choose to complete your collection)

addenda 1

1uncle dennis sets the scene

this is me reciting poetry at the age of six introed sarcastically by uncle dennis

this was a tape my dad was making to send home to the rellies in england

Well shiver me timbers, this is the cutest thing you ever heard

so cute i may have to …….

mac-g makes a gesture of fingers down her throat etc

2 put you on my wall

this is the first of four baby grande songs. baby grande existed  74-77?

peter koppes may or may not be on here i cant tell

he left halfway through the  bands career

the other players are dave scotland on guitar joe lee on bass

and ken wylie on drums

i dunno if i played anything or not on it….

theres some awful lyrics on this one

i guess you could say it had not occurred to me to be myself

on the other hand i was 19 or 20 or something

This is for all those people who think you sprang into action

already spouting under the milky bloody way, Steven

3 pure white and deadly

inspired by an article i read about sugar……

Christine Keeler indeed my boy……showing your age ..

trust you to have read up on all that grimy bloody business…..

4 getting with murder

me imagining what a rockstar would write songs about

This song is so bad Silverhead would have been embarrassed by it…!!

5 mad damn lash

its like a third rate kiss song or something…..

Now I see why you didnt want some of this out there, young man….

6  statue garden

in 1978 i visited some castle in england that had a statue garden

i sat down on the spot and wrote the words

a year or so later i guess this was ar0und 1980 now i did the music

recorded on my teac 4 track

its not a bad little number at all

A quantum leap forward, my dear boy

Its like you’ve turned into yourself here ,at last!

A rebirth away from that silly saucy tawdry sordid glam rock palaver!

i could imagine you wrote this track yesterday…..

7 electrical disturbance

some of these tracks are from bootlegs

i have long since lost the original cassettes let alone master tape

they have been copied and some have less than average sound quality

i have tried to fix it up a bit but there was not much to be done

but here in about 79-80 i am …living in rozelle now

a huge tropical thunderstorm lit up the big white room i set up in at first

later on i moved my tape recorder  downstairs

but i did this one as i gazed out over sheets of rain

and the tangled masses of the back gardens vegetation

Oh my dear boy…i feel like I’m back in Lemuria again….with Mr Mac-G….

i mean what a magnificent piece..and all on a four track… !

8 ur inside

an instrumental with some intensity

this ones ones sonic clout amazed me to hear it again after so many years

this is about 198o i guess

A virile insistent piece  ……pure genius I say….

9 inkling

same period same days

me trying to rewrite a t rex song and getting close

Adorable!

10. my abstract model

featuring peter koppes on guitar

my third attempt to record this complex song

truly a weird little oddity….

I love something about this song so much

It was revolutionary then and its revolutionary now!

11 youre my idea

me and peter koppes again

apologies for the tech quality here

but its such a good little song

One  just wishes it had ended up on the first  Church record on Carrere…  

12 prophet margin

recorded by marten jansson karins brother

on a porta studio in 1984 in stockholm dead of winter

once again its been bounced around a bit its not the best quality

but again tho its such a nifty little song

olle jansson on flute

I know youre against such things but you could certainly re record this

(but I bet he wont!)

13 spirit of christmas yet to come

a thing i contributed to some long defunct sydney labels christmas record

i guess we’re in about 1985 86 now ….

Bah Humbug! You miserable devil……!

14 cut up (with margot smith)

this piece of music fascinated me when i did it

i was deeply on the gear

i wrote the music

i got margot in and told her to sing whatever she wanted wherever she wanted

she did that about 5 times and got bored and went home for a while

i cut up her phrases and arranged them all on a computer screen

this was 1991

i had never seen music as a visual process before

but for the first time ever

i created a visual pattern with the little coloured boxes that symbolised her phrases

i added and subtracted them from my picture

then i listened to it

this was the result!

2 cut up people cut off from everything else!

Good God! Aching Awfully…One can hardly bear to hear it…! 

But such a beautiful Wasteland you 2 have conjured here….

15 blackrock antitheme

closing credits song for movie blackrock

drums by tim powles me on other stuff and sandi chick singing

Isnt young Sandi a Scottish lass? Yes you can tell! 

My, what a four to the floor pounder this number is!

16 gone for good

same personell as last song

this never got used in the movie

it was for a surfies funeral from his girlfriends perspective

the producer was such a philistine

he could not grok how good my music was (sigh!)

He must have had porridge in his ears if he couldnt hear how good this is!

oooh its a beauty!

addenda 2

1 another day

this is a fragment of a track from an album half finished

that i did in about 1998 with irish musician francis xavier kearns

i fucked it up. i was on the gear and i had enough to last me the entire session in dublin

but i got stupid n greedy and did it all quickly, got sick etc etc

i finally got better to do a tiny little bit

but the good news is that we are going to reconstruct it from original tapes…soon!

meanwhile this is a possible taster…

Great music Steven but the words put me off with all weird carrying on…!

Cant wait for the finished real thing…soon you say….(we’ll see, eh?)

2  aquanaut

done in stockholm with marten jansson this time in about 1998 0r 99

i was again gear affected and i wasnt giving much to the music

marten played some of the instruments

i remember little of these sessions or days

except i was usually either sick or sleepy…

this is the sound of me not really trying

but nonetheless coming up with some pleasant trifles

I like Aquanaut. I like it when you write songs like this!

3 trilemma

yeah stockholm and marten again

he did a good job considering what i probably gave him to work with

Dont be too hard on yourself there. This is actually OK, even by your standards…!

4 bossa

me n marten pretending to be a bar band i guess

You succeeded then! 

5 aquanaut 2

another version

A swampy take

6 as you like it

a song written for a rubbish film

I saw that film (unfortunately) and this song was the best thing in it!

I love the way the music goes up and up towards the end! 

7 mystic western profile

down in a swedish studio with swedish guitarist bengt kirschon

we wrote a bunch of brilliant songs but this is all that survives to my knowledge

lyrics about one of my stockholm drug dealers Christina

great aching guitar …

Yes! Oooh i really do like this one Steven .

I hope one day the rest of it turns up somewhere

8 unfinished kirtan for krsna

hare krsna hare krsna

Hurry up instead !

9 long way home

this was done with a guy called hi fi mike.

never heard of him again this is about 2003

Gorgeous song! Ive always liked this one!

10 the  wrong road

grant n i used to do this live to make up the numbers we needed

ive always loved it to bits

great fucking lyrics

recorded round at michael hanlons in bondi with russell supervising

it was gonna be for a go bes tribute or something

but russell didnt see eye to eye with the guy n it wasnt used…

Captivating performance. A sublime song!

11 falling for you falling apart

a guy sent me this music for a project he was working on

i sent him it back with this vocal on it and he seemed disgruntled with it

huh? i think its a truly brilliant track…one of my best…

any way never heard from him again so here it is….

Never fails to send shivers down my spine! How could they have not liked this??!

12 Zoo42

done with brother JLK at his place in bondi 2004 or 2005?

Very Beatley !Oh come now you must admit that is ! But a lovely track, notwithstanding!

13 the glazier

done with JLK again

for a poetry cd

Some rude lyrics i dont particularly approve of i must say! Mr Glass, indeed!

the australian night

written as a song for some defunct pop star

this is my demo version

hence some of the strange lyrics…

Some tender moments nonetheless for all its Mammon origins!

15 we will fall

cover of stooges song done with ricky maymi adrian and sean hoffmen

for a stooges tribute record somewhere..

Not my cup of tea, Steven….next….!

16 lonely stretch

live version in fremantle wa of triffids classic

with ricky adrian and sean

WOWEE!  You were on fire that night.Tell me, did you splice on the applause (just joking!)

http://stevekilbey.bandcamp.com/album/addendaone

http://stevekilbey.bandcamp.com/album/addendatwo

me today at about 6 20

unidentified nordic aliens in bondi

 

guide me deeper

lemme see realer and realer

gimme abilities i dont even deserve

i am your precocious devotee

i want everything at once but grant me energy

and grant me hunger and restlessness

let me careen ever forwards out of the past

let me express my obsession with spirit then

let me glorify whatever the fuck it is that makes me do all this

keep me young so i can write more stuff

paint more pictures

more music yeah too please

keep it coming i’m waiting

another instalment

i dont want to ever stop now

its all unravelling but its all coming together

i expect miracles i get miracles

i expect disappointment i get disappointment

in the abyss of expectancy i fear no evil

if saraswati oh sweetest goddess you grant me success

yes money too quite frankly i’m broke

but i’d rather finally do that one thing

its all been leading up to ….

nah…or maybe not

a new voice in my head guides me

(it must be you)

thanks then for your spiritual and technical advice

a hand guides my intuition

the astral library of lovely human ideas

oh there lemme wanda !

lemme peruse perus stones whatever the fuck

lemme in lemuria

i paint your vogue edition in people

i organise crime on tape or paper

i send out my tendrils into the future when i am thankfully gone

strolling i hope with christ and krsna by a limpid indian lake

maybe we will form a band or discuss some delicate philosophical point

later the gopis will come out to dance

and we will become intoxicated on the flowers and moon

and time will almost stop

and in the darkness as i move and breathe through my india

my head will explode with every single possibility that never was

annunaki in the uk

they said its all inside you

the kingdom of god and all the answers

yes yes i do believe it

all these years

i been stumbling towards this

in that other 90 per cent of my brain

sealed off from me

sealed off from you

look what i can do with this 10 per cent

its like nothing

yes there is something deep and mysterious sealed in there

in my brain

i am locked out of my own brain lest i become like one of THEM

in the garden of gilgamesh

adam taste the apple flesh

then without warning

the ugly truth was dawning

the ugly truth was that we are created in Their image

the image of the gods

but to confound us they gave us each the gift of genius hidden

ah but we must delve

not in space

not in scriptures

not in earth

but in ourselves

was the tree of life an acacia wattle containing DMT?

was this the knowledge the gods were cagey about letting us in on?

i am a miniature copy of some god or some alien (for what is the difference?)

and somewhere within this head is the answer

the answer to the the most sublime art music and words

and i’m getting closer

why is it in there if not to be discovered?

then i will get in….!

this explains my obsession with nineveh

my paintings of winged geniuses

my constant biblical rantings

it all came from sumer

summer in sumer is super i’m sure

thats from ancient world a verse i never recorded

the hebrews didnt nick genesis (i was wrong about that!)

they are simply retelling it in their own way

wouldnt it be hilarious if the sumerian legend

is more “real” than yer evolution….???

now dig this!

the sumerians sprang outta nowhere

yeah they were the first civilisation to have writing

i remember that from school

but they never told us what they were writing actually

they were writing their creation myth

but hang on

how could a brand new civilisation have myths…?

is it myth or history…?

it became the myth of moses yes

but maybe it was the history of the sumerians…..

you see only a fragment of gilgamesh remains

but it has the flood and the garden of eden in it

anyway

the sumerians say they were created by the annanuki

they (we) were created in their own image

but they locked off most of our brains

so we would appear smart to ourselves

but never smart enough to challenge em

we were created to mine gold

gold for their damaged atmosphere

the sumerians knew of planets and moons

undiscovered to us until within a hundred years

how?

the history of this passes through them to nineveh to babylon

to the hebrews

gilded and colloquial maybe

but its all still in there

investigate it at your leisure if youre interested….

we are starseed, people

i am going to hack back into my own brain

and i’m gonna drag what i find  in there

out

screaming or dreaming  for you

stay tuned

st steven ,beloved of the annunaki, formerly a priest in nineveh

happy birthday to me, you old madman!

maybe me with my sad blue eye

have done some recording with tim

for next church record presumably

is that the next next one or the last next one
or the next last one?
i drove to melbourne with simon starling and talked for thirty minutes
simon starling is a guy with some sad lovely songs
i produced this record for him a couple of years back
heres a link to starlings music
http://www.reverbnation.com/c./poni/135831002
anyway i listened again to this album on the way down
it really is superb
approaching pink floyd before rog became all tyrannical
like on “more” or something
tim p plays drums just like nick mason on here too
a really beautiful soulful and sad record
i heartily thoroughly recommend a listen
could be exactly what youre looking for!
anyway yeah
i take to the stage and i talk
for thirty minutes with nothing prepared…
big deal
i didnt really dig it that much myself…
dont think i’ll do it again
i need a subject like my performance enhancers gig
melby october 13
i’ll be talking about greek hindu norse and christian mythology vis a vis my stuff
(a clue: my stuff is full of it!)
and i’ll be playing some songs and fielding answers
i really am quite the amateur comparative theologian
(as youve already deduced!)
http://www.artscentremelbourne.com.au/whats-on/event.aspx?id=3130
meanwhile
my eldest twins are conkering the whirled
hipper than hip
cooler than cool
playing the game perfectly
avoiding all that slogging it out stuff
they have elegantly and effortlessly become one of the next big things
a complete surprise to me
the girls were always a bit rebellious in that
they didnt want to follow the same career as their parents
you see?
even if you are a singer songwriter your kids wanna be lawyers or something
wow
anyway destiny and inevitable fate finally prevailed
the saint lou lou story is not mine to tell
both parents are sworn to secrecy on pain of death
but let me tell you i have heard some more new lou lou
and verily its hits in spades
2 twin sisters
2 opposites in identical skin
one like the ying one like the yang
identical and yet opposite
from the 2 ends of the earth
i tell you also
the day karin and i met we knew that we were the agents of these 2
and here they are
all five of their uncles and both parents are musicians in varying degrees
ok uncle olle is pretty much an actors actor but he plays a very mean flute
(hear him on some of my bootlegs!)
personally i think they would have been silly not to have followed thru with this
i am happy that this philistine world has immediately caught on to them
i love their first single to bits
and i love the video for it too
it is strange though for this to be happening
people are coming up n asking me about them now
i am so proud that they have created this brilliant music
without any help from anyone in the family
with scandinavian flair and european gravitas
they pulled off this aching loveliness of a song
i also note and salute their producers/co writers addeboy vs cliff
fuck the swedes have a monopoly on this kind of melancholy thing dont they?
and if only auntie lou lou was here to see all this
now my mother joycie bennett didnt mind the saint lou lou vid
but by christ
auntie lou would be having bloody smoke coming outta her ears
esp. considering this rude video is somehow connected to her name!

anyway i love saint lou lou
and i cant wait to hear the results of their london sojourn (maaaan!)
meanwhile have ya checked out summer of love
my collab with alien skin
heres the linky

http://alienskin.bandcamp.com/track/summer-of-love-ft-steve-kilbey
cmon folks buy this
its only one buck!

well that should give ya enuff to be going on with

thanks to holly j for resurrecting this blog from the dead

sk

i am reading the book of mark

it is a separately issued as a small booklet

with an excellent intro by nick cave (no less…who gives it two thumbs up!)

so here we are

one of the five books that really are of interest to me from the bible

the others being matthew luke john and revelations

i do not care for st paul

he is a authoritarian type laying down his rules

the very opposite of our man

now this reading of mark that i will write about begs many questions

i will say that most christians ruin it for christ!

in a typically human fashion we have taken this mans words and

whilst claiming to follow him

we have done the very opposite

so many hindus have said

if you are christians why dont you follow his teachings??!!

and it is a question that needs answering

why the very most “christian'” of people nowadays would dismay christ no end

i mean do you think if christ were to meet say W

he would say good on you mate , youve really understood my message…!

if you think the answer is yes then you should stop reading this now !

cos that aint the message i’m picking up from this guy i’m reading about….

i’m not reading about some timid law abiding traditional picket fence type here

i’m reading a truly wild revolutionary troubled anguished cat

who is basically the ultimate socialist you can imagine

because he already digs that material possessions are traps

and you need to free yourself of lust for stuff

buddha knows that

krsna knows that

sjk knows that

you cant straddle both worlds easily baby

you gotta let it all go!

another thing people say is do you believe in jesus?

and according to whatever i say bombard ya with the pros n cons

history says this

some historian says that…

i dont fucking care!

i dont care if he existed or not…can you believe that?

i cant even begin to answer the question do you believe in jesus?

what?

do i believe in all the accretions and spin doctoring of the church . nope!

i reckon the boy buggering priests have just about put me off …howabout you?

the great wealth and arrogance of the popes

the evil they have done

the witch hunts and suppression of knowledge

the persecutions and maimings …all in jesus name!

for christs sake

yet still the same types are using christs name to justify all the things he reviled

i reckon christ (if he existed) would hate napalm, bullets, sanctions, a-bombs, mines, tanks etc

i reckon he would love charity and help for the aged and poor

i reckon he would advocate tolerance and understanding

yet the geezers masquerading as christians are dealing you out the very opposite!

ha ha that my friends is a great wonder right there…..

there is however from i what ive read so far

the possibility that i am not understanding the bits

that advocate tycoons and wars being good things

perhaps it got lost in my translation

so whether i believe in  jesus  or not….

the question is not framed properly

one must read this book mark with an open mind and heart

can you forget for a moment the idea of some faux historical accuracy

and dig this cat

this brilliant cat at conflict with everyone

with the disciples

with the big knobs in the temple

with the average joe

with the local kings n queens

i tell you this

( i ve read the bible before, i am re reading it now)

jesus and krsna have many things in common

an evil king who murdered infants to avoid a prophecy

but who was not successful in stopping these gods from materialising

and their ability to both confound and fulfil the religious laws of the time

both of them broke the rules in almost everything they did

this is the mark of a true hero a true genius of love

and they both died unfitting deaths for such great and beautiful men

do i believe they actually existed like you and i exist?

like i exist here in my blog?

or like i exist here in bob luries book?

or as i exist in martys amazing recollections in the reissues ?

or as i exist in my songs ?

does it matter?

when i am dead will my life matter as long as my songs make people happy?

so yeah the book of mark

jesus

hes healing people

hes pulling a big crowd everywhere

hes starting to piss people off too

people dont like this kinda healing, give all yer money away stuff!

i tell ya i dont envy jesus his gig!

his own disciples can be the most flaky doubtful crowd ever

after all he does theyre still not sure

they still misinterpret his wishes

no one seems to understand what hes trying to do

what the fuck is he trying to do?

well hes not really sure is he

i mean remember he is a human being

with every temptation and every failing to overcome

he loves people so much he cant help healing em!

he starts healing em and how can he stop?

with his compassion he has fallen into a trap

are they listening or do they want healing n miracles?

its all outta control from virtually the word go

devils unmask him in the street

he performs more exorcisms than youve had hot dinners in the first five minutes

i mean mark sets christ down and hes immediately running

no away in the manger stuff no childhood

did christ go to india?

i’d say he deffo went somewhere n studied something

cos when he suddenly appears getting baptised johnny the baptist can dig it!

i am not fit to do up the catches on your sandals! says j the b

and dig this , this beautiful phrase that christ uses in raising a deathly girl

talitha cumi 

he says in aramaic i guess

man that phrase i never noticed it before

that phrase seeing it written down there

as jesus the most beautiful cat ever

with his heart full of soul

the man of sorrows

and he says in this most beautiful language this magical spell

talitha cumi

maiden rise! it is in english (but thats fucking hopeless!)

oh god how christ loved people

how he loved it when they showed faith and courage

how dismayed at the hard heartedness of the local rightwing mofos

ruining it then as usual

as it is now

same as it ever was!

the wicked kings

the bloated emperors

the cruel ignorant soldiers

the scheming priests

the clueless mob who would eventually turn on him

man his world is full of snakes

and so few ladders

always he is seeking solitude and prayer

he is worn out by all this

doesnt seem like he asked for it but what is he to do…?

he has to glorify god….

now here is a tricky thing

as we realise jesus is a victim of his zeitgeist like all men

he spoke about his father but his father is all our fathers too

but i find it very hard to reconcile JC and crankypants Jehovah

who has every nasty quality in spades that you dont want in yer deity

i mean the israelites are his chosen people ok

but where the fuck does that leave me?

yeah anyway i dont approve of all that rubbish in the old testa

that aint no good book….its a bloody and boring mythology of a desert tribe

that freely borrows from all the myths that came before

and quite nasty in a lot of places!

however with mark

there is something brand new afoot

a revolution

its not the miracles and healing

even without that

its something else

an indiscernable wonder that somehow exists between the words

i will bring you more as i read more

i am a pantheist

i dig all gods because they are part of the one true immanent god

a god so fucking transcendent he makes jehovah look like vanilla ice

this particular transcendent god speaks through jesus to me

but he speaks through krsna to me

and the beatles too

i believe this more than i believe anything else

god is great beyond greatness

and we are tiny parts of this

everything is

so open your heart

and be a part

not apart

believe me there is nothing worse than when your children get sick

when i was in sweden i put some pictures on the net of my daughters head

zipperhead i called her

and there is that big ugly zippered up scar on the back of her neck

but that scar filled me with dread and anxiety

around this time marianne in newcastle england was writing to me

her granddaughter jade has had a lot of operations

a lot of painful invasive awful operations and shes only fifteen

at an age when most kids are getting on with being teenagers

jade has been bravely and stoically coping with one thing after another

an operation to correct the last operation etc

shes undergone a lot for a teenaged girl !

anyway in newcastle theyre having a bit of a fundraiser

because these operations cost a fucking fortune

and

unable to attend that fundraiser

and wanting to do something

i have written a song for jade

and the money from all downloads will go straight to her family

now the song itself was problematical

i wanted to write something magnificent to exemplify jades struggle

this ideal nearly gave me writers block where ive never had it before

the immensity of my task seemed to stop me in my tracks

eventually i settled for a beatley/ glam rocky happy get better kinda song

i think you’ll like it

and believe me the money will be going to a very good cause

its a win/win situation

and jade will be in a lot of peoples hearts and prayers

go ahead now please

even if this is the only download you buy from me ever

and get a song for jade plus instrumental jade mix

its only $ 5 for 12 minutes plus worth of music

thank you

steve xxxxx

http://stevekilbey.bandcamp.com/album/a-song-for-jade

starring astrid aurora and eve proudly modelling their time being tea shirts (sure!!)

it occurred to me whilst talking to holly who handles my art empire

that i had been painting exactly 10 years now

since i began in 2002 as a suggestion of my brother john

who asked me to do some artwork for freaky conclusions

he auctioned it off at the end

and there was a demand for more

and so i started painting

struggling at first then steadily progressing (i guess)

anyway i am pleased to offer you 2 of my paintings on a t shirt

fall in love also the cover of monsters n mirages box set

this a paining from a photo of me for starfish photo session

secondly we have jesus in bondi

a lovely handsome happy messiah strumming in a bondi flat

please feel free to buy a tee and walk around in it!

thank you

sk

the vegetals speak

on a world warm day

the deep sea is green and cold

i am whirled about in it

the earth pauses

the morning holds its breath

something changed today

i cant tell yet what it is

something seemed like it was being manifested

the air was pregnant

an arrival seemed imminent

everything grew stiller and stiller

i waited …..we all waited…

we were somewhere waiting

the stillpoint went on and on and on

i was in a hotel in brighton settling a room charge

i was in a train speeding towards hamburg

i was in the sea in bondi

i was watching the esoteric pyramids of art and music twist in me head

i was at school and in jail

i was ash in the furnace

i wish vishnu wanted me as a sunbeam in his effulgence

i wish i could enter nirvana hotel where the rooms are all black

you open the door to that delicious room

you smile to yourself one last time

as you think about all the bullshit back there

the warm darkness lies waiting containing something  lovely

you take a look around at the outside where its cold and bleak

your skin is so dry

that wind blowing atcha all the time

your body aches from a million insults and whacks

your ears reverberate like fucked up phased cicadas out of their trees

your eyes blinded by jealousy and heat and the silver flash of fame

your hands tremble and shake resembling earthquake

your mind so burned so scarred so hard

you are about to enter your room when you hear a voice

a voice out there in the wilderness calling for help

maybe calling your name its so hard to tell

but your room is ready

youve been waiting a long time

you can just go in and shut that door it wont matter anymore

the voice calls out more faintly

calling for help

you stand there on the threshhold of your room

wondering

what do i do now?

never knew wolfgang was clairvoyant till i saw him get a flash in the street

a beautiful beast alights in the night

in my warmest cabin heart in my soft childhood glow

in my cosy hour before sleep i’m all dreamy

all my memories are soft and red

my dad is dead and alive

in my blessings which i counted on

i roll my dice twice not quite a full house

a pair of coincidences

a pair of choose

a single point of implosion from whence springs forth universes

my man

as i sleep i wrote this poem right now

in my dreamiest dream i am a great poet writing his book

blah blah fucking blah i go

some medieval doctor ponced up in my gown

against a backdrop of castles and towers and forests i go

a man of astronomy a man of the lord

certain rites that unconstrain my soul

i wander in the cemetery come across my own grave

that cant be right !…. i must be confused

someone is waving a flag in my face

go on!  screams the crowd whove gathered around

with my foot to the floor i sped in to a beyond

slow down! warns the law

i hurtle recklessly unable to stop

god in his universal form is almost unobtainable

our ears would burst our eyes would grow opaque

our minds our books our grandest theory fails to contain him …

asking him why he did this or didnt do that……?

why ….its like  a flea asking leo da vinci about his tea..

yet

more and more i feel his presence

one thing at a time

in his different aspects

i feel the blessings of saraswati goddess of art

as my fingers travel over wood and paper and wires and keys

as i try with my mind tho always via my fingers to pull something out

pull something out of this stubborn darkness that does not always give lightly

somehow i have received her sublime blessings

it is with with great love she guides her devotees

now a new voice directs my hand

it guides me over shadow through echo out of hyperbole

oh wonderful spirit i cannot accept your gifts without proclaiming your generosity!

i saw my fathers fingers wander over his piano

how do you know what theyre doing ? i asked him once

i dont know they just do it on their own now ..he said

the music itself would take him and it would make his fingers roam the keys

only occasionally crashing into discord

the spirit that good spirit has possessed and moved through me too

oh great joy and blessings my beautiful children all too singing playing

making and will make more beautiful music for this world

humble servants of a greater creator

who says to the birds sing !

he says to man sing !

man says but what do we sing?

he says to man everything you sing will in some way be me

man says where will i find you when i need you?

but man realises he is in an empty room on his own

talking to himself

mild light

blessed evening warm and gentle

return to the valley come back to the hills

sounds of celebration somewhere in the air out there

the grumble of traffic

the relentless surf pounding in the dark

rumblings of distant future

dogs howl out in loneliness

the whispering leaves moving about as if the trees were creatures

my ears ring faithfully on containing every note i ever played

my eyes dim blurry fogs

i am receding from this world

i no longer apprehend it vividly

it is out there but

planes come in to land

thundering through the sydney sky all lit up

i sit at my desk

i am an imaginary locus

more planes more cars more surf

palm trees full of fruit bats all talking at once

moments yes moments

just lots of moments

spring is nearly here i feel it

one day i swim one day i drown etc

like this evening up the score

scoring an evening like this