The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

well we had some fun
we had some laffs
we had some ninnies
we had some controversy
we had the big split a few years back
when the carnivores left en masse
we had lovely generous fiendss
we had envious tiny pigs
we had millions of words
we had over one million reads…well over
still got almost a thousand readers a day
this will be the last on here however
tomorrow …aw you know where to go
much better
i’ll be able to post high quality longer videos
better photos
better blogs
better living thru timebeing
so thats it
a little tear of farewell
a backwards glance
dont look back in anger
just look forwards in anticipation
thetimebeing.com
thats it
aloha blogger
see you for a new blog tomorrow elsewhere
thanks for all the support
steve
n bondi july 25 2010

over in newtown working on starlings record
its a cold overcast day
feeling sad n strange like starlings music
melancholia
what is life?
went to see wendy the white witch
she said i fucked up my last life with anger
she said i was a big shot
she saw me in a tunic (?)
she said i got angry n took the left hand path
she said i walked away from my responsibilities
and went to the left
i said is this actuality or what
she said
maybe thats just the way her crazy old brain interprets it
she said my job in this life is to deal with anger
i am fucking angry
a lotta stuff makes me angry
i was so angry the other night i was vibrating
literally beside myself
i parked in a no parking zone gotta fucking ‘nother ticket
i went into my gnostic lecture
it was about..you guessed it…anger….
for the 1st half i was too angry to listen bout anger
eventually the message seeped in n i was somewhat calmed
you gotta be aware not feed the anger
watch it observe it dont feed it
ok easier said than done i gotta master myself
ok
yeah easier said than done
maybe harder to overcome than the gear
i just want things my way
i want to control people n events i guess
i would at least like my home to be the way i want
it isnt at the moment
im too busy to sort it out properly
n i get upset with it all
aurora mcbunny is steadily improving
scarlet the woofle aka mouse is still naughty
eve k aka the starr is still warm n lovely
im a lucky old geezer i guess
aint heard from my big daughters for a while…
it maketh me sad
the distance physically n emotionally between us
newtown is goth central
in a house full of muso types smokin’ n takin’ drugs but i resist
i just want to be freaking happy for once
doesnt everyone?
but i should aim more to be content
content with whatever comes
wendy says its a test
wendy says my destiny/fate is to do service
what service is that i say?
writing songs?
she says well i can heal but i cant write songs…
somehow i want some herculean task to perform
maybe “just” writing songs is service
maybe if my songs can heal (as people often tell me)
wow what a mystery life is
almost 56 n things are not really any clearer
i do my laps in the coldest water so far in 2010 (15.7)
jump out feeling renewed
but i still go home argumentative n bitter
maybe one day when its all over n put to bed
i can write about it all
but at the moment i cant
except to say things arent the way i want them or ever foresaw them
i know a lotta people got it worse than me
a lot lot worse
but i feel everything intensely
occasionally some smartarse says try having a real job!
remember i struggled hard to get to wherever i am
i taught myself everything
you didnt see me humping amps n p.a.s in out
up n down stairs on cold nights for years
the gigs when no one clapped or even came
borrowing money from banks to buy equipment
all the driving n arguing n setbacks
its not working down a mine
but its not all dancing on clouds believe me
it still isnt
sometimes i wish i was some bloke working 9 to 5
watching telly drinking beer n no existential angst
we all got our cross to bear
and our bear to cross
etc
i always appreciate the support n advice of my readers
i always appreciate the love of my friends
rock on kids
rock on
sk

ps 4 more days to new timebeing site
blog will continue there (dont mourn this one!)
new additions all the time
marten jansson karins bro n twilly uncle
just sent me a fixed up demo karin n i wrote in 86
called pink island moon
i had completely forgotten about it
things like this will be becoming available
everything eventually will be available there
good on ya j coal!
good on ya everyone else

me n the human bunny aurora justine kilbey

i’m just getting by
i have an unwanted problem at my house i cant seem to shake
nothing can move forward with the problem here
aurora is feeling ok i guess
her voice is a little squeaky
i have an interview with the wonder full denny daniel on
http://www.flashbackalternatives.com
on thursday night new york time 9 pm n then again at 12
or you can open your itunes page radio tab n find flashback alternatives
under alternative (gee, duh)
its gonna be a great interview (i hope)
done prior to new york show this year
my new timebeing web page is looking great
its gonna be up n running soon , real soon
26 th july they tell me as the planets align for my e-empire to begin
we gonna have a lotta stuff to start n more being added all the time
there will be much to see n do
tomorrow i go back to working with simon starling
feeling kinda underwhelmed with my inability to go forward
but i will
my nature is to suffer , overcome and then move on
i have before and i will again
heres to new and exciting times
your ‘umble ‘ero
your unscientific scribe
moi

aurora just got her tonsils n adenoids out
i just left her at the hospital with her mother
she was sucking on an icy pole and cracking jokes
she looked like george clooney in oh brother where art thou?
i dunno why i think that but i do
her eyes rolling around in her head a little
i am greatly relieved
i love that childe dearly
amen
thank god

a few weeks back
i got offered a part in a new musical playing at sydney fringe festival
its called “van park” n its written by greg appel
greg was a member of the lighthouse keepers
who had an amazing indy hit with a song called gargoyle
back in the early eighties
gargoyle was a song i wished i’d written myself
russells band the crystal set did a version on one of their records
so i pricked up my ears
when i got offered this part
the part of nebauchenezzar
a mysterious ex rockstar who now lives in a caravan park
down the coast of new south wales
appearing also in the musical is john paul young
the famous aust singer who sang love is in the air
among others
he plays another ex rocker type a more basic n brutal
the play is funny poignant and has some truly beautiful songs
i did a reading yesterday n a bit of a sing
and they have found a wonderful singer/actress
to play the character of gypsy fire
who is married to jpy’s character but with whom nebauchanezzar
is also in love
the play is a real delight
and the songs are mind blowingly good
nebauch is a strange old bird pontificating on life
and moving thru van park in his cloak
i cannot wait to get my teeth into this
its like this part was written for me
we will be doing five performances at the seymour centre in sydney
in september
and will be hoping the play gets picked up for other cities
the band king curly will be backing the play featuring gregs brother steve
i cant overstate how good the script and songs are
and i hope all ttb enthusiasts will turn out to catch this one
im very very excited
and i feel lucky to be involved in such a good thing
yay!
ok

*todays sage advice from billy at the icebergs pool

i hate the tv
it really is a terrible thing
new research shows over 3 hours a day increasing your chance of heart attack
over 33%
sure i dont mind a good wildlife doco or the occasional thing
like deadwood or sopranos or underbelly
but most of it is fucking garbage
especially reality shows
i pity the poor mugs glued to the idiot box
their brains in some half life state
their hearts slowly choking
people without a life
wasting the life they could have watching some stupid show
turn the telly off
put down the beer
ditch the meat n be something
make something outta yerself
its killing ya
its killing conversation
its draining yer energy
it’ll turn you into a used up clown
believe me ive seen it happen
imagine the good old days before it came along
when people’d you know uh…converse n stuff
i could do without it
the next house i have i aint gonna have one n thats a promise
i aint got time to sit there like fool drooling over some old nonsense
go on, i dare ya, turn it off
write a poem
have a walk
do some yoga
LISTEN TO SOME MUSIC!
anything
but the cretin-inducing box and the hollow zombies that worship it
go on
TURN THE STUPID THING OFF N LIVE!!

down in hot swampy texas
the high priests of the dangerous timebeing.com cult
have determined that 26th of july
will be the date of the commencement of the new site
yes believe it if you dare
i gotta lotta stuff up my sleeve, steve
its not all gonna be there all at once
but eventually…
art music blogs rantings ravings FAQs
interaction musings hippy dribble
straight from the mangey panthers mouth
its gonna be a lotta work to feed this beast
but if anyone can than i shall
the videos will be in much higher quality than on here
everything will be better shinier n more satisfying
everything will contain more sk than ever before
if you love me now you’ll love me even more after this
i got many things planned if only half come to fruition
we’ll be wading through stuff for ages to come
i’m hoping we’re all gonna be happy with this
suggestions gratefully accepted
(before being rudely rejected out of hand)
this will be our interface
we you n i will get down to brass tacks
(tacks not included)
(tax not included either)
much behind the scenes footage
etc etc
every child player must win a prize
auctioning off of sk body parts
(anyone up for some used ear drums?)
whatever you want it to be
whatever you say i am i am
coming soon real soon
(how soon is soon?)
people get ready
i hope you gonna really like it
i hope you’ll dig it in spades
thanks to johnny (old king) cole
thanks to kip mccccc
thanks to eek a mouse
thanks to my mum n dad for ‘aving me
thanks to god for all this unbearable talent
thanks to all my fans fiendss n friends
and envious tiny piglets
thetimebeing.com
wow
a site for sore i’s

over here at timbos place
producing an album for a guy called simon starling
its very melancholic in a pleasant dreamy way
tims playing drumbos
wes the famous church roadie playing bass
starling singing playing 6 acc guitar
me playing 12 acc
the songs are so lovely
lovely sad words
lovely simple music
i’m enjoying myself
we have some good feelings here
*
today hadda nother pivotal moment on way to pool
2 pods of huge grey whales rising from the sea
majestic is the word
leviathans swimming as families
again i was momentarily struck by natures grandeur
plus the symbolism for me of jonah
who didnt want to go to nineveh
but had to….
wonderful stuff
thanks for all the interesting comments for the last blog
baby lifes what you make it
sk

whats going on on planet earth
(jord the swedes call earth)
whats going on here?
wouldnt ya like to know?
i know i would ….but the answer remains elusive
are we even capable of being able to grok it ?
is it like teaching a hamster calculus…is it beyond us?
they say we only use ten per cent of our brains
whats going on in the other 90%
i often wonder
how many times you been on the verge of some big realisation
and you just try to put it into words and it evaporates
loadsa times on acid i thought i knew
but the trip ended and i was empty handed
sometimes left with something as profound as
uh, everythings gonna be ok…
not exactly plato is it?
they say loves the answer
i guess theres some truth in that
if you can love everybody;
it doesnt mean love yer lover or love yer friends
anybody can do that but that aint enlightenment
its very hard to love everybody
its hard just to like everybody
its hard just to be even handed n turn the other cheek
i guess thats why old jesus h christos was such a revolutionary
he said love everybody in a time when love was at a premium
a time of brute force and much laying waste
i remember learning latin
there was loads of translation work
a lot of it was
oh mighty caesar we have laid waste gaul
oh centurion how shall we kill all these britons? etc
tough times to live in
then this guy had a new idea
hey be nice to everybody
sounds pretty simple
no one had really thought of it up until then
still very hard to pull off
you stand in a crowd
yeah i could be nice to him
yeah i could nice to her
oh wait…but i couldnt be nice to this person…!
it seems like its all devised to go wrong
man against woman
nation against nation
this crowd versus that crowd
we humans turned on the very earth itself
witness the meat industry n the petrol industry
and all the rest of it
no one wants wars but theres always a loada wars going on
animals becoming extinct
whats behind it all?
what can you do ?
what can one person do?
should we do anything?
or is it merely an obstacle course to negotiate n move on…?
i’m blowed if i know
i’m just a singer in a rocknroll band
n its only rocknroll but i like it
smoking voluminous quantities of pot
sure does not give you the answer
tho sometimes it threatens to
it just numbs ya dumbs ya down
so i’m glad i made the wrench and i’m glad i finally stopped
i have no opinion of the people who wanna carry on
i know its better for ya than drinking thats obvious
still you aint gonna get anywhere spiritually if you intoxicate yerself
you need a clear head to feel the subtle messages of the soul
you need to vibrate quicker and faster
at least thats what i think
thats why i persevere with yoga day in day out
sometimes i just dont wanna stand there doing it
contorted myself into its different poses
sometimes i dont wanna swim in a cold pool either
but thats discipline for ya
you gotta have self discipline
i once read a book by israel regardie an early 20th century magician
he advocated setting yourself a meaningless task that required concentration
n discipline
like for example not using the word “the” for a day
you had to remain aware all day
everytime regardie caught himself saying “the”
he would give himself a small cut somewhere with a knife
thats kinda extreme but can you see the point
to train yourself to be constantly aware
not just sleepwalk thru life wasting your human incarnation
so i practice yoga twice a day most days
i get up earlier or go to bed later just to do it
i do it on tour too even when i’m tired
so in that way i begin to master myself
i been wildly off track for most of my life so theres a lot to master
so when i approach other tasks
i have already got myself somewhat under control
some people ‘ll tell ya i got a terrible temper n i have
theres something to work on
some of the deadly sins losing their grip on me
some of em i’m still in thrall to
rome wasnt built in a day mighty caesar
i am constantly a work in progress
i have seen yoga turning my life around
i have seen good things come to pass for me
i feel people are interested in what i do again
after i nearly blitzed my self out of existence with you-know-what
believe me i’m grateful for this second chance
and i feel yoga and exercise can turn anyones life around
if they can mine
of course pride comes back into the picture again
i mean i’m proud of what ive accomplished
and then my ego runs amok all over again
sloth ive definitely beaten
gluttony isnt a worry for me
envy still got its hooks in me bad
the fucking music industry is built on it
(find a book called “powder” about an envious rocker…
its a real hoot n very realistic)
but pride vanity lust n anger are hard ones to shake
my gnostic mate dp tells me they work together to bring us undone
like generals in a war they mobilise their forces to fuck with us
and its only very human to give in to their combined onslaughts
only very few cats like JC and ghandi n st francis n buddha
have figured out ways to defeat these things that plague us
what am i saying here
i dunno exactly
i’m sick of myself n sick of dancing to the tune of my deadly sins
theres gotta be another way
thats where yoga comes in for me
yoking myself to something greater than me
i dunno what youd call that but its working slowly but surely
a slim trim body is just a side effect of that (ooh theres pride for ya!)
you start to develop some kinda deeper insight into things
for short amounts of time youre actually “aware”
i saw some black birds on the way to the pool the other day
i was walking along caught up in my petty melodramas
n then i saw em
four beautiful black birds flying in perfect formation
so black against the blue sky n white clouds
for just one second i was truly aware
i was right there
living my life to the utmost degree
not in the past
not in the future
but there in that eternal moment
and it was breathtakingly delicious
like nectar
the perfection of it all
this wonderful marvellous universe with its diverse creatures
these birds flying along in synchronized gestalt
and me watching em
freed up from my minds clutter n chatter
better than any drug better than any material thing
better than a prize or a hit record or a fat cheque
better than an orgasm or a medal or anything you can think of
just being just coexisting
just wanting nothing at all
n then my ego says
well there you go my boy youre getting aware
and crash
it was all over
but i was thankful for my moment
it gives me something to shoot for
it gives me a clue about what eternity might feel like
and it was a sweet subtle bliss that drugs n drink would bury
so there you go
i’m gonna try n still my mind a little more
its a turbulent emotional mind
screaming out for constant attention n appeasement
it is the hardest thing to conquer
it has to be done tho
before i can move on to whatever is next
i dont know what that may be
but i want it
i know its sublime
it aint easy to find
its riddled with paradox n obscured by layers of maya
thats my sermon over
goodnight
sk