The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

mornin’ fiendsss
how the wack are ya
im sittin in the lobby of some hotel
eatin’ mexican guaco salad
im drinkin’ coca cola fer breakfast!!!!???
last nite we got to bed at 6 am
my phone didnae werk
so i couldnt call nk
i almost smashed the useless thing
the intanet didnae fookin’ werk neither
we are now in falls creek virginny
lassa nites gig wassa ok in norfuck
a lovely venue
you shoulda seen the backstage area
does the word sumptuous mean anything to ya?????
there were a suite of lovely luxurious rooms
a huge hot tub (yes i had a dip)
a sauna…
pool tables n ping pong tables
ive never seen anything like it!!!
it wassa shame to have to play the gig…
i felt so glamourous n cocooned up there..
a few idiot talkers in the crowd
they seeem to be mainly women…..
one woman yellin out
YOU HOTTIE!
YOU HOTTIE!!
can someone give her the number of a good optometrist…..
another bimbo… i ask
dontcha ever shut up?
only in the bedroom honey she yells back
gee…is this sexual harrassment????
anyway the gig was pretty good
not amazing…but still pretty good
(amazing by any other bands standards)
after all we drove all fuckin day to get there
and our air cond blew up
etc etc
i aint even gonna bother ya with all our small
technical logistical probs
except to say that everyday
we been driving about 7 hours
anyhow now i gotta leave ya here
we gotta do some radio show
(yawn)
and rush off to tonites gig falls church
(no relation)
where weve sold some tickets apparently
see ya soon
you crazy crazy fiendss
im tired
im worn out
but im gonna soldier on
so that ye may rock
and that thee may roll
bye bye birdie
sk

where are you nevets?
im deep in a dream, muse
im asleep at the bottom of a black chasm
im so far away…
wake up nevets its time you were about
(a phone rings)
from a million light years
my consciousness rises
up n up nup nup
ascending thru my hopes n fears
my past lives
my secret ambitions
up n up nup i go
rising up to myself
my hand goes out
picks up the phone
“steve, hello….”
am i steve?
where am i?
i was so far away
somewhere in a world of pure idea
somewhere out there so far
somewhere in here so deep
“steve its roger kaputnik from the miliapolis bugle…”
auto pilot switches on
oh hi roger…
an interview follows
under the milky way this
under the milky way that
ahh roger..you got the wrong room
under the milky way is in room 1313
rogers got it all confused
he must think its 1986
he must be thinking of the outfield n frankie goes to hollywood
n thompson twins n all the other detritus from those times
did i have to be pulled from my black place
to reminisce about this olde albatross…?
we finish our conversation
roger aint a badde guy
i end up likin’ him
actually
i hang up my bone white phone
i sit up n look around
im in a hot room
in a king size bed
i could sleep in it sideways n still have enuff room
we need one o these at home
we could get everyone in this bed
the doodles, the bumper, the twillies, me n duckling, the lot
the a.c. is switched off
its either ice station zebra
or tropical humidity
and i prefer the latter
i hate freezing a.c.
look around the room nevets, what do ya see
well
i see my ipod sittin’ in its lil charger
i see my lapptopp
i see my suitcase, an explosion of unwashed clothes
n gifts n bits n pieces
i see the tv set i will never switch on
i open the curtains
outside my room is an empty indoor swimming pool
nevets HATES indoor swimming pools
beyond that a riot of green trees
im in the south
im in ….(thinks hard)
im in…durham, north carolina
nothing would be finer than to be in carolina……
(at bully high we changed the lyrics to sixty niner)
in the mor-or-orning…..
wow im in carolina in the morning
but
well i think that maybe there are finer things…
so far
long drive from atlanta
we laugh n argue n listen to music in the vans
i watch the movie shriek by jeffy vandermeer
which features
*my voice
*my artwork
* our music
and queen hashy-putt
you gonna wanna see this moovie
cos its got yer painting in there
in a virtual art gallery
hangin on the wall as fine as ya please
shriek….its a about fifteen minutes long
its weird…ya gonna love it
ya gonna buy 2 copies
anyhow tonite we roll on to
norfolk virginia
virginia where mah sweet wife natalie grew up
(relive yer childhood down in virginia, duckling)
virginia where johnny fogerty went seekin’ shelter from the storm
scarlet virginia kilbey aka baby bumper bumback
whos probably forgotten her ole daddy by now
virginny, where the whole damn thing started
i love virginia
i cant help it
its fuckin’ beautiful
its in my blood
sweet virginia
meet virginia
virgin for short, but not for long
well we wont forget atlanta so soon
still feeling energised by that great night
despite all the starbux n subways we stopped at
(sk has veggie patty…it aint too badde…at least i aint got sick yet)
we last nite pull into this weird hotel
we all have a jap dinner
(sks has agi dashi dofu n tofu hibachi + 4 cold sakes)
we come back to hotel
retire to mr dickinsons room
i introduce him each night as roberto dickensian
hes comin on an playin more n more with us
lassa nite he wants to do some harmony rehearsals
on invisible
robby baby olde nevets is too “tired n emotional” for that
we sit around smokin n laughin and tellin’ stories about “the day”
i really really like this character
hes a real handsome english lothario
a ladies man, a heartbreaker
a basil rathbone for the 21st century
im so glad he came on this tour
an instant rapport
heatherspace you were right
him n us are a good combo
if you aint heard his record fresh wine for the horses..
well
watcha waiting for
its been on high rotation in my poddy for ages
pick one up at the show

now lets see
some real highlights left
new york of course
chicago…always good town fer us
san fran..they like their choich there too
dunno how norfolks gonna bee
deetroit….yeah its usually ok there
sellersville pa…????????????????
where the hell is that?
im listnin to equatorial stars by frippy n eno
sks music of choice to tap blogg to
and people
my people
my wayward flock
my fiendss n fanss n friendss n assorted knuckleheads
WE ARE AT 17!!!!!
17 with a fuckin bullett
sweet seventeen
heaven seventeen
people
cmon people, we’re making it now….
ha ha
we are indeed moving up the chart
displacin’ the non entities hoggin the highway
my destiny is to be number one
i will sweep away the metrosexuals
the naked gay boy (not game to read his blogg)
the sexually impulsive girl
(we used ta call that loose morals back in the 1950s sweetie)
the bottom smacked bimbo
(but i DO like the pictures)
those bloody foreigners n their incomprehensible words
the boring olde other ones
im gonna get there
i think i can
i think i can
i think i can
cmon fiendss
get yer friends on my blogg
make up those numbers
stack the party with my followers
summon the faithful
olde sks going straight to numero uno
im gonna rool bloggtown
im gonna legalise bad spelling n self aggrandisement
im gonna wear a crown of words
and rule from a throne of ether
i am the blogg king
and
i can do anything
if you have jazz or vegan delites for olde sk
jus’ tell em at the merch desk
theyll putcha durectly in touch
remember fiends
im countin on ya
number one
we can do it
im gonna do mah yoga n chi routine now
im gonna have ta turn on ac tho
its hotter than hell in this room now
i love ya
ya big dummies
sk

ok
ok
jus’ like in the films
yer humble hero comes goode
oh atlanta you saved the day
a lovely venue
loadsa people
mwp recovery
we play like daemons
powlesy crashes n simmers
mwp rox n rollz
pk is pk is pk
me?
i pluck some bass
i croon some toons
i shimmy n i stroll
like a chicago moll
wow
i feel like im in a real band
atlanta always been so good n kind to us
always
the south will rise again……
thanks so much to richard n dana for vegan delights
thanks to kevin ns mum n dad
who brought the zwack unicum from hungary
(the black bitter herbal liquor that we all love)
thanks to the people we met at restaurant…mark etc
thanks to keithy dee n rylan
(made ole sk very happy to see ya!!!!
please come to aust soon)
im sittin’ here now
in a very nice hotel lookin’ out over atlanta
huge skyskrapers
a canopy of green trees
a beautiful city
lovely accents
sun shinin’
breezes a’ blowin’
i have an hour left to do some chi gong
do some yoga
before another mammoth drive
to who knows where
somewhere else
the final quote belongs to rob dickinson
who as you may remember is our opening act
hes a very smooth english “cad”
as i said goodnight to him in the hotel corridor
he summed it up nicely
in his toffeee nosed british accent
“real gig, real hotel”
sometimes…
sometimes..
zeniths r us too
sk

this is gonna be short
i gotta leave very soon
and
ive lost my new glasses so
i can hardly see what im typing
dont blame florida
dont blame all floridians
yes yes
there were good shows st petes n orlando n laudydale
there were good people who listened
this is nt about blaming people

last nite halfway thru 1st song marty
gets a migraine, goes blind
(i kid you not)
and leaves the stage
(again)
that leaves me n pete n tim
to do our thing
i wassa real nervous
trying to figure out how we were gonna
roll along on only 3 wheels
sorry no encore
i was kinda flustered
what next?
i know atlantas gonna be kind to us
sweet georgia
keithy f…are you out there?
people
its ok
i love you all
im gonna try to keep on rolling
americas ok
we love the people here
most people in most places dont talk
the tour has been mostly fine
w/ some turbulence
we love our band
we love our audiences
we love to play
dont blame the us
dont blame florida
im sorry if it seems like i was doing that
the beautiful people make it worthwhile
they always have
we will lick our wounds
we will jump in yonder vans
truck our olde asses up ye olde road
we will prevail
i just spoke w/mwp
i think hes gonna be alright
hey its atlanta tonite
one o our fave cities in the world
im only 51 years young
i wanna rock n roll all nite
and drive every day
love
kilbo

are ya sure ya wanna read it?
yesterday we drove 6 or 7 hours from st petes
we got up nice n early
and we drove
n we got lost too
and we sped down huge highways
avoiding cops n trucks n speeding rednecks w/ confederate flags
we go to places where i cant eat anything
the heat n the fumes n the rest rooms
sitting in a van drivin down the endless road
its a hundred outside
humidity turned up full
thunderstorms
lightnin’ strike me again n again n again
we finally roll in to jacksonville late n tired n hungry
(i aint ate anything all day
you see there is no time to explore america
we just gotta get where we going)
and the gig is a fucking hole
no dressing room
no nuffing
the meagre amount of people turn up
they talk all the fucking way thru
why?
a) cos we’re boring
b) cos theyre rude idiots
c) all of the above
mwp who works hardest of all
cant stand it
after all that we put into coming here n playin’
they just fucking yack yack yack
i can hear the conversations over the top of music
the gig is ‘orrible
mwp storms off stage
half the crowd leaves
he comes back
we struggle to the end
we hanga round packing up
i get to bed at 3
we get up at 9 and on the road again
i guess its pointless sounding off here
the rude ignorant hopeless yokels
who talked laughed guffawed screamed etc
all thru the gig aint reading this
the ones who might be reading were the quiet ones
who wanted to hear..
so i guess i thank them
i curse the other lot
im sorry to man who approached me n told me he read this blogge
i was rude n churlish
sorry pal
ya caught me at a despairing moment
i feel like i wanna give up
it was fucking hopeless
even if you were a band whod been around only a year….
after 26 years i need a gig like that
like i need a hole in my head
is that it?
after everything, now this
oh well
i guess if we’d been any good
you might have listened
and if i was half the man
i think i am
i’d just be happy
and nice
and everything
would be
ok
myrtle fucking beach
please shut up
please dont roar all the way thru our delicate songs
please…
pretty please..
aw, cmon..?
no..
ok
take a bass over yer head then you wankahs

sk

what the fuck?
cheer up?
sleep on the sand?
be happy with yer life?
write this?
write that?
count yer blessings?

you want my diary?
you want what i think?
or you want some sanitised version of yes yes very nice?
you want me to type out some namby pamby baloney for ya?
you want me to write some happy songs too?
you want me to be a nice nice guy?
no complaints?
no feelings?
to pretend everything is peachy n rosy?
after all the stuff i write for ya fer free
that i find a cuppla hours a day to send ya this missive
that i religiously write to ya
day after day
you dare tell me what to fucking write?
you think im down on america?
i seen more of america than justa bout an yone here
i been coming here for 24 fucking years
ive lived in la, new york n delaware
am i qualified to complain yet?
jesus christ
I AM LARGE
I CONTAIN CONTRADICTIONS
some days its great
some days its awful
JUST LIKE ANY ONE ELSE
dont fucking attack each other on my blog either
it makes me sick
i dont need any sycophants
i dont need any anti sycophants
i aint no high n mighty fucking hero
im a washed up olde rocker
touring the states
writin’; a bitta blogge
for your amusement
i talk to everyone
fans, fiendss, disinterested passers bye
fat thin ugly rich poor beautiful young n old
i am/ have been all of these
i dont care who ya are
ok you dont wanna hear any negative stuff
no complaints
no downers (maan)
keep it all bright
ok
ok
you can have it just like everyone else then..
hi everyone
gee its so great to be me
its so great to be on tour
floridas real nice
the shows were lovely
the other fellas in the band are so nice too
i mean everythings just so…..nice
there
youve emasculated me
youve turned me into everybody else
and nowv my life is so
nice
nicely done
i nice you
the niceman

good morning baby fiendss
oh sk sleeps for a long time
from 2 in the morning
to 10 am or so
8 hours o solid sleep
strange dreams
(what would ya expect???)
staying in the doubletree hotel
with a big tepid swimming pool
whatta shame
i cant swim in there
its like a chlorine n wee wee soup
a primordial brew
maybe a new kinda life is a brewin’ in there
oh oh i miss my icebergs
the clean cold water….
anyway its a million degrees outside
and humid beyond belief
its florida in the middlo summer….
the gig last nite was unremarkable
house of blues somewhere in dizzknee world
nice gig
nice people
nice dressing room
nice
nice
yawn…
the audience seemed half with it
i dunno
they pays their money
they takes their chances
meanwhile the end of the world is startin up
over in the middle east
what does it all matter if some olde groop
hazza good gig or not
a load more innocent people are dying
i guess i just dont understand
i guess mel gibson is more important
another pissed antisemite swerving all over the road..
but offisher im melly gibshon….
of course im drivin’ all over the plaishh
im fuckin drunk aint i?
i look out from the lobby where i sit
palm trees sway in the warm breezes
a million reclining beach banana chairs
wait for some pudgy sunburnt floridian bum
the flowers twinkle twinkle
lovely big bees doing their gig
what do they care for gibson n his shenanigans
umbrellas,billboards, miles of traffic,
a hurry-cane out to sea maybe?
hurry-cane chris
(whatta pathetic name for a hurry-cane..should be brutus)
soon we will climb in our vehicles
drive on to st petersburg,fla
another gig
another dollar
another spliff
another glass o booze
another corn chip n salsa
another version of under the blah blah blah
another another
its all seeming meaningless fiendss
im detached
im standin outside my self sayin’
why why why
not enjoyin it
not hatin’ it either
just on auto pilot
too much drink n smoke
not enuff yoga n chi gong
no swimming at all
no real exercise at all
small resentments building up
the politics of it all
keep my lip buttoned
dont get involved in arguments
do what i need to do
keep my head down outta the firing range
my orange juice is fake
despite the little smart arse who sold it
assuring me it was real
any resemblance between this muck n real oj is coincidental
couldnt even muster up real juice in florida…?
the fuckin’ home of oranges
cant open hotel window….pathetic idea
cant have a cold shower…ditto
why do things go so wrong
why did the u.s.
which started as the bastion of freedom n free choice
end up with the following choices…
kfc, mcdonalds,bugger king, starbux, subway,
wherever ya go
from maine to arizona
theres ya choices
and itll taste the same
the same lardy olde donut
the same greasy carcinogenic bit of dead chook
the same cardboard burga with rotten bit o chemical meat
the same obese sorry kid serving up the muck
is this the great america and her freedoms
the freedom to have the same rubbish everywhere ya go
why go anywhere
when its all the same olde tripe
a starbux
a room with no opening windows
a dirty tepid pool
why not stay at home
crack open a beer
watch the baseball
grow a beer gut
tune in to cnn
and catch the end o the world
live
24 hours a day
7 -11
with ice

thats it
see ya 2 morrow
sk

cop cars
sherrifs
state troopers
in all different coloured uniforms
silly hats
guns n handcuffs
walkie talkies
radios a’cracklin’
villains in doorways
the cops anathema
they need each other in symbiosis
the keep each other in business
the villains with their balloons of smack n crack
(bought my self a red balloon, with a blue surprise
tooka lovelight out my eyes, mmmm blue surprise)
the villains who run this piece of turf
cranking out the misery of drugs
the cops catchin’ em
cranking out the misery of the law
an eternal play to be acted out forever
people drive nice cars here
the weathers warm so you can roll the top down
the boulevards are wide n straight
and you can cruise along like yer in a song
from born to run
florida is exciting
and excited by itself
theres a wild crazy anything fucking goes feeling
similar but more intense than australias gold coast
the thought of all them legal guns is never far from my mind
i order inna veggie sub
its delicious
have i ever mentioned that the americans can throw together
some excellent foods?
you know i ve always said that the americans were the best audyences
too
up n till now that is
last nights crowd hadda merry olde chat while we played
i can tell ya
no amount of shushing had any effect
we drive 500 miles so they can talk all the way thru
if you read this blogg
if you have a degree in ku fung
or a black belt in ai-kid-thee
or if youre carrying a mace or some mace
or even a retractable battering ram
please feel free to sort out the talkers next time
who will be appearing near you at a gig soon
we aint played in florrieda for 16 long years
we drive all that way
we are RATHER good too
and they talk n talk n talk
dont wait for my command
SORT THE BASTARDS OUT
something like
” ‘ ear, you dont stop talkin n im gonna fuckin’ deck ya!!!!”
thatll get their attention…
and now youve been polite dont hesitate
to be rude
i mean their being bloody rude
to us
and
you
and i dont understand
why
pay 25 dollaros
to scream in someones ear
over the top of a bunch of old hippy minstrels
i do nae for the livin’ everlovin’ life o’ me unnerstand…

i hadda delicious vegan meal before ye olde show
i had to ask a tester to test the scnitzel
so realistic did it seem
but it turned out veg
ooohhh i wish i had that every night
good on ya florida
sks best din-dins yet
rob dickinson asks me in a perplexed tone
why do australians shorten all the words
into something silly
nk often asks same q.
we say brekky, uni, sickie, postie, milko,stevo,tranny,pollies
gazza,shazza,wazza,wacka,arvo,no wuckers, fer ron,intaya,
and it seems our english speaking friends n allies
dont appreciate our spin on the lang
but
sk has had many (mostly olde ) ladies saying
(in southern accent)
oh my my i do so like yer pritty acksent…
where yall fromm?????
then we run thru the predictable convysation
yall play inna band?
witch band is that hunny?
the cherch…..?
the you know god n all that cherch?
no?
oh yalls a rock band callked the cherch?
hey brad (or mike) have yoo ever herd of an ostraylian groop
called the cherch?
nope?
me neither…
well it shur was nice to meetcha
you enjoy plattsberg now, wontcha?
yoo got any cee dees out?
how many ?
hey mike (or brad) these guys got 17 (or 23) cee dees out
well i’m gonna pick one up!

sometimes i make the answers up
i say we’re from iceland
or lemuria
i say that one of the others is a male stripper
and we’re the backing band
that one usually gets a good laff
but its an old gag now
been going on for 20 years now
originally starring ploogy

my hotel is vry nice
ive enjoyed it
i got my washin’ done at last
a big pile of clean warm shrunken clothes
my undies feel like they were made for someone
of about 10
my sox have migrated down past my ankles
well i told ya i was no good with machines
can ya imagine
yer humble but dopey hero
standing there with my big red bag of washing
(laundry santa claus)
ive gotta load of quarters in my handy
ah …
no..
decisions decisions
which is washer
which is dryer
where n when n how much soapy powder
ooohhh don’ wanna put it in the wrong bloody little door
and then hot delicate
cold press
whites n colours
long spin?
rinse cycle de jour?
set the controls for heart o the sun?
i leave it set at wherever the last genius haddit
super hot shrinka with powder overdose
i push in the quarters
(tho i usually give no quarter)
and i wait
n
wait
n
wait
an intuitive hunch tells me nothin is happening
i fling open the bonnet lid of my machine
the clothes lie still under their layer of powder
some turkeys turned off yon tappies
jester or rogue?
anyway
i do finally negotiate the ups n downs
of the washa n drya
now my washing sits forlornly
in an unsorted mountain in my room
i gotta do an intavu in ten minutes
then i gotta sort this mess hall out
and get reddy
hit the road to wherever next
somewhere where the people dont gab all the way
thru our set
i hope
n
thats for sure!
sk

city in the jungle
electrical disturbance
memory of lemuria
forked lightning crash in the trees
alligator tooth flash swamp blur
slithering sound
reptile god sacrifices black lake
union with nature
man inside circle
weilding great magic
princess from other places
somehow became empress here
everything is recurring
this moment on and on
accelerate
now breathe
feel the inward become the outward
and outward inward
hot humid night enveloping us
are you with me?
hot humid night holding us secure
the lord of the universe
holds all the planets and everything else
the stars and suns
effortlessly in place
through his will everything is happening
all that lives now will live forever
all that that has never lived will never live
luxury as a waste of time
flight from material
love only binding it all together
we are part of this
the night opens to accept you at last
music begins on beautiful but mournful instruments
sing, women
sing the song of the endless jungle and the endless sea
sing the songs
that brought you to me
my glimpses are confused
what were you expecting?
this is million years in past or future
these terms no absolute meaning
jungle outside of time
man and beast and spirits and jungle equals one
man and woman equal one
all things as one thing
one thing as everything
the one thing says
so you can dig me as you surely must
i appear as so and so
(insert god name here)
but although i am him i am also not
and i dig the way your people have lived
in this jungle
and have dived deep inside yourselves
and put it all together……
monkeys screaming in the windlashed trees
baboons attack a messenger
witches lizards slow worms
winged eel fingerling
toadface
evil must always be i suppose
someone cooking up a jinx or a hex
voodoo ceremonica authentica
sorceress change
pigs into men
this isle is full of noises
parrots explode from the trees
in red yellow green screech
things caught in traps scream in the wind
the gibbets grim occupant
the plague
ruins
temple and vine
sunset and dawn
prospero
closes his books
the journey is over
but still travelling
the play is over in someway
but the acting goes on
swimming pools empty and glowing
stunted trees
boulevards and palm
ferns
fronds
everything green burst of lives
all take the same sun and earth
and fashion some different aspect of the thing
unique perfect
water miracle liquid bouyant
underwater virgin ghost bones almost glimmer
darkness squeezes the jungle city
the tops burst open and the people climb out
naked stripteasing lantern crowded drunk and brutal
fights break out
teeth smash blood spit rage fist crumpling slow
weapons
fires burn out in the poor quarters
enemies ride in on horsebacks
they spear us as we escape
the jungle strangles them
and closes in again
shiva dances
creation is re enfolded into itself
everything on the point of a needle
are you ready?
the night is warm and inviting
ive lost my head a little
im drinking jungle juice
and im slightly poisoned
and the rains starts gentle again
the jungle luxuriates
the canopy like our roof
we enter the domed house of zeus
we enter the cave where the sybil lives
we swim in the dark waters
we cleanse and purify ourselves
we await instruction
the night and the jungle and the heat are out there
in here is me and god and you i guess
we watch one another
separation anxiety
separation illusion
when you learn to overide the brute
when you can go against yourself
when you can change and change and change
when you are ready
really ready
and only then
and
not before