The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

been painting some portraits
tricky business
the angles
the planes
the ratios
the shadows
the proportions
faces defy all rules you thought you knew about faces
sometimes you can get it horribly wrong
and it still kinda looks like the subject
othertimes one small thing you cant figure out
and the face looks ridiculous
i’m doing a straightforward face but its hard to get it right
then after days of mucking about
it looks alright in pencil
but when the colour goes in
its gone all wrong
luckily pastel is a very forgiving medium
edges can get moved if they have to
but beware
you make the eyes a little bigger
suddenly the nose is too small
then the cheekbones have lost their reference point
and the mouth is too close
and the chin too far away
the slightest change is a ripple
that flows through the entire painting
trying to figure out what colour a shadow really is
trying to be artistic and realistic
trying to flatter the subject
emphasise the good points
portray the bad because you must
but tone it down
teeth are hard to get right
eyes are obviously important
and a slightly wrong shaped eye can ruin it
noses are surprisingly often shorter than they appear
sometimes your staring at a feature
but you just refuse to draw it the way it is
sometimes i just go into a geometric mode
wherein i see the face as a series of related shapes
it can be frustrating and rewarding
my next portrait will be david mccomb for a planned book
this one i can really go to town on
and im looking forward to it
thats it for today
love
sk

all mylife
ive had the effect
of somehow making grande pronouncements
when i guess im just joe schmoe writing a bit o’ bitter blog
this happened especially at school
when i said i didnt like such n such a band
it always seem implied that not only didnt i like em
but that i thought every aspect of them
and their fans was a loathesome dollop
i have never thought much about a lotta things
i see em on some random newspaper somewhere
i form my kilbee insta-opinion
and i go round spouting it
especially if i consider that its “funny”
now funny is a very interpretable n ambiguous term
and its amazing that fineline between cutting edge
and embarassingly offensive
ricky gervais seems to surf it as a specialty
and i guess a few others
so i guess silverchair is no pet hate or anything at all
its just i see em on all these frontpages in this iconic manner
and yesterday
im looking at the paper
there they are again
and i just asked myself
hey kilbey!
what do you think of silverchair
and all i could remember was that
i’d forgotten the earlier stuff
then i had played to me bits of that orchestrated one
from a few years back
and um……
mind you i was probably the only geezer in australia
who didnt think it was the new sergeant peppers
so musics like that
one mans poison is another mans meat
one mans peppers is another mans sneeze
you know
thinking about it
i need to have two kinds of opinionated bigmouthing modes
one which merely says
i
as an ordinary olde geeza living in 2007
dont happen to like such n such but dont mind me
it is even possible i could change my mind …..
then
i need the
i hate this passionately its ‘orrible
i am prepared to bore you stupid with my loathing
if youll listen, beware rants ahead
may offend some
approach with caution etc
pronouncements of doom
kilbeys own fat-wah in fact
where i urge from my e-pulpit
my deranged army of fiendss
to run rampaging through the western world
urinating on rubby williams posters
and other such symbolic situationist attacks
on the status quo and their demi-gods of hideous ennui
meat would land in this category
along with war
show-biz bullshit and schmaltz
anything dumbed down
ear infections
(but i got prescribed codeine and pseudo ephedrine today!!)
kids shows that are noisy and insultingly smarmy
drunken brutal oafs reeking of aftershave
over made up tarts smokin’ ciggies
awards nights
quiz shows
reality shows
dancing shows
cop shows
lawyer shows
gossip rags n shows
talk and tonight shows
posters of successful real estate salesmen
old election posters especially if its the loser
anything cute
anything in yer face
anything without originality
anything without mystery
game hosts
radio shock jocks ( shockingly amateurish)
dogs just doing their thing any old where
i say
three strikes and theyre out!!
eggplant however it may come
facile pre-learned answers no ruddy way
the pappar-arsey
rehab
tommy hill-figure or any other designer or their name
people who dont take no for an answer
my advice:
no is a good answer
take it and piss off
queue jumpers (less its me)
duck hunters…you silly sadistic sods
oh god
theres so many
parking inspectors dressed like cops with walkie talkies
guys down the beach who throw their girlfriends in the water
politicians who vote to give themselves rises…..vile scum
anything containing gelatine
hair product
foundation makeup
underarm products with aluminium…..nasty nasty
mobile phones that never get switched off
people try to gee you up needlessly
anyway
as i write this blogge
a french guy a kinda friend
has been running in and out
some malarkey with key
and tryin to persuade me
in his thick lovely french accent
why i should put green clay drops in my fucked up n painful ear
hes trying to do a number on me about clay
oblivious to the fact he has already converted me ages ago
albert i say (al-bear)
but steve he says (stieefv)
i get a cut i put it in he says mimicking a sliced open arm
and filling it in with green clay
al-bear i been fucking drinking it i say becoming angry
probably because with my tinnitus the infected ear his accent etc
its so hard to hear what hes saying
yes he remembers
ive drunken 2 whole courses of green clay an (alleged) liver cleanser
apparently it is in europe but here theyre not allowed to recommend
the actual intake of clay here in aust
yes i put it here n here n here n here says al-bear
his arms a flurry of clay annointed spots being pointed out
al-bear i says
yes i’d put it on my neck
or my arm
or my leg
and even on my ….
(i used the word dick here hoping to lessen offence
should he have taken it )
or even up my……(what is that french word?)
but i aint putting it in this fucking ear ok?
google it then he says….
meanwhile a strange storm has rolled in
playing havoc with my deafened ear
sydneys weather is very changeable watch out!
i had a dip in l’ocean this smorning
already poms n irish out there getting horribly burnt
my own daughter evie starr
she got burned in 15 minutes quite reddy , helen
lucky the next day it turned mostly brown
sometimes you even get a nice warm glow as it changes
but elli found this out
and evie too
you go brown
but then
it peels
and under that
is
freckles

1. i hate cricket
what a boring load of codswallop
i particularly hate the way it prevented several of the churches
vids from airing on a pop show in australia in the eighties
because the cricket came before anything
i once wagered a man in the public service 50 dollars in 1976
that more people in our office had heard of david bowie
than dennis lillee or whoever it was
i lost the bet
2. silverchair
this may be unaustralian to say so or something but
i never heard one thing by them i didnt think was awful
3. brendan nelson new leader of the libs…..two chances, buckleys and none
4. ads that promise men their hair back with faked pictures of regrowth:
listen if there was one thing that would make a gazillion bucks overnight
it would hair restorer but it aint been invented….yet
now at 53 i must admit my locks aint as thick as they once were
but i dont think theres really much to be done (readers tips?)
its still nice and brown…the greys all in the beard
but its wispy and fine and thinning
i was walking behind a guy the other day
oh he had such lovely hair
thick black and shiny
the wind playing in it was a delight to behold
if only if only if only i was thinking
and then i saw his face
the lovely hair only served to emphasise his ugliness
and it suddenly all changed
a bit like robert plant
the hair of a sixteen year old girl
and the face of 100 year old debauchee
anyway
i blame my dad for my obsession with hair
he was always saying
look at roger moore , slim
‘is bloody hairs looking awfully thin…
etc
thanks to my dad
one of the first words in my vocab was toupee
he’d always say stuff like
oh yes but he had a lovely head of hair!
and oh god
so many ways to go bald
so many cruel humiliating ways (if you care)
i guess i been fairly lucky
if you lined up all the 53 year old blokes in the world
i guess i’d probably have more hair than say 70 per cent of em
anyway
as ive said
a big thick mop of hair on top of a ugly olde face
can be quite repulsive
(come in sur elton)
keith richards hair went real weird didnt it
micks got a fuckin amazin’ barnett (thats hair to you americans)
(and how did that happen? his dad was completely bald)
but still
i’d rather look like keith
ronnie woods hair
is the kinda hair i really lust after for myself
you could do anything with that hair….
anothing about hair
it keeps the radiating aust sun from blasting your scalp
aint it human nature though to want what you cant have?
funnily enough though
my face is benefitting from my veganism n yoga
gone gone all the cheesy sag and pale jowl and double chin
in its place comes my real face
just as the real me emerges from the wreckage of the heroin days
every one who sees me says
oh you looking so healthy
yes im looking like myself again
but even more
and you may laugh at this
and some of you wont believe it
but i dont fear age if i can age like this
and everyone could age gracefully
if they put some maintenance into it
someone wrote to me a while ago on my comments
asking me what it was like for a once handsome man like me
to now be olde and ugly especially in regards to “the ladies”
well of course, im married now so i dont put it to the test
but i feel more happy about being me now
than i did back then
and my face carries the scars and story of my life
the wrinkles round my eyes my laughter and tears
my frowns and my thoughtfulness
my once visible again cheekbones…money couldnt buy em
thin red lips and yellow teef
my multi coloured beard
my nose which is rather nice but always red
my jawline which has returned
clearly defined against my long relatively unwrinkled neck
my skin freckly and tanned , could be a candidate for skin cancer
my body returning to its real shape slowly but surely
weak arms
strong legs like rock
small hands
broad feet
little body hair
strengthening and becoming more flexible
the opposite of aging
well thats yoga and veganism and swimming for ya
and the gall/ego/honesty to examine this old bag of bones for ya
it aint me
not the hair or the eyes or the balls or the toes
its just a fleshsuit worn by me
and this mind aint me either
its just an apparatus i think through
but im lost in this world of bodies and minds
i like her mind
i like his body
i dont like that body or mind etc
caught up in it
the bewildering superficiality of appearance
yeah
i’d rather chat to a pretty young woman than a fat olde geezer
even though i know that actually the spirit underneath both is god
i ve learnt my lessons but i aint digested em
ants bite me while im doing yoga outside
and i do my block and fucking squash em
and the uni-verse laughs and says
kilbey what a wanker
i make no claims that i’m right or superior or anything
its interesting to dissect this mass of organic material
that has organised itself into steve kilbey
a temporary sent to earth to learn how to love and live
just like the hair thing
im doing better than a lot of em
but trailing a long way behind the goode guys
whoever the fuck they are
(the people who put their own lives on the line)
anyway
i think those hair ads are particularily naughty
the baldies know in their heart of hearts theres no hope (yet!)
but they ,for a variety of reasons get sucked in
its cruel
and its misleading
so a pox on all their houses
i say
as i get older
what does it matter
we’re all worm fodder
beautiful ugly fat thin
its just so hard to believe it, isnt it?
you know youll die… logically thinking
but the thought refuses to take any real root
its a kind of necessary procrastination
the more attachments you have here
the harder it is to leave
thats why jesus said that thing about the rich man
getting into heaven..
look
i really dunno
go on
forget about all this
enjoy your sundae
love
me

one ear down
like vince van go go au go
swimmers ear
feeling tired beyond these years
empty vessel
no thoughts forthcoming
the goose below starts the doof doof
at 3 in the afternoon
the most constant throbbing doof doof
i wonder how a man could like this
music for people who hate music
ideas for people with no idea
the most horrible artificial continuous sound
devoid of feeling
devoid of love
devoid of lightnshade
devoid of melody
devoid of rhythm
devoid of swing
devoid of anything youd really want really
i mean ok
at a dance party at midnight i guess i dunno
but 3 in the arvo by yerself in yer bedroom
it comes running up the walls turning my place
into a giant reverberation chamber
and i find a lovely irony
that it be inflicted on me
who has the capacity to hate it with such vile passion
and now
with earblock
it feels like some earthmoving machine
furiously delving into the screaming earth
as all horrible things triumph in this world
cogs and oil and slagheaps and explosions
war and devastation and mindlessness
the victory of the moron
the gossip mags as bibles
with naked pictures of pregnant aguilera as icon
with television direct injected
soap hopeless opera
lust island (feat. spousal ab-use)
chicken wing bits with beaky bites from kfc
idle winners tell all about big nothing
atheists for jesus w/ rev billie joe crabbe
shopping mall prophets with brand name resurrection
text jehovah and vote for your favourite angel
skype the lord on 1 800 lordylordy
email me at satanworshippingtwitswithmascara@hotmail.com
everybody invites me to facebook
i invite you all to bumbook
i invite you all to a liberal party
i invite you to scuba doobie doo
while i sally fourth with a tally ho ho ho
i see tom cruise is a weirdo
gee that makes me feel better bout myself
i see the good actors the chosen ones
they wear the right gowns
and marry the right person this time
i see the bad celebrities too fat and thin
too rich and unhappy
too stupid to spend all that money the way i would
there they are playing polo in rehab
or accepting an award and being carted off to jail
drunk driving….huh!
supplying a miner with drugs….i thought he’d dig it
consorting with prosty-tuits
is that what you call it?
ice cream and tattoo parlours
shoe shop chain :club foot
new car names:
honda dribble
toyota dollop
nissan smudge
ford sparrow
holden uranus
mercedes slut 500
lexus porker
hummer lump
chrysler elbow
the new bmw groin
rolls royce impress coupe
audi 2 door squirt
new tv shows:
celeb euthanasia
obese olympics
the flying plastic surgeon
cops with bad attitudes
candid bathroom camera hosted by chuck berry
coroner quiz
hollywood blood test
great frauds and real fakers
wrestling chefs
wild animal brawls:tonite whale versus tiger
extinction countdown :tonite froggys numbered days
tasty climate watch : cheese and arctic melts
football statistics versus the cabbala with maddy n becks
southern christian revival techniques :drowned baptists with pastor gnocchi
americas naughtiest death rowers : inside peak with heidi flies
the tonight show with whatsisname and the bald guy in the background
renovation revolution with k. rudd : starving in a garret and pulpmill stucco
homes of the rich and infamous : mafia boss richie prosciutto invites you in
pollution lottery
kids channel : pc syrup and namby pamby dribble
history channel : hitlers toenails part 2 : clips and memories
shopping network : coffin bargains and ammo savings
sports channel : west versus east
comedy central : old mcdonald had a famine plus whats my phobia
science channel : evolution : monkeyman bones and all that

ah phooey
i just ran outta steam
killer

last night i awoke to a pain
an agony
my left ear throb throb throb
blocked
cant hear anything
get up look on net for ear remedies
garlic and olive oil it says
i feverishly crush up garlic
mix with olive oil
pour in my ear
i dunno if it made things better
go to ye olde quack this morning
jesus you stink he says
he syringes my ear
and i jump twenty feet in the air
as a horrible mixture of pus olive oil and garlic comes out
sorry i says
youre sorry he says
i gotta stay in here all day with this garlic smell
he looks in my ear again
lucky you came to see me he says
or you woulda lost yer eardrum by tonight…
its a mess he adds
how can things go wrong so fast?
you should see an ear specialist says quack
but take these antibioticks and lets see ya on monday
if not better then
its the specialist…
so im sitting here
the tinitus in blocked ear is ringing like big ben
oh oh the mofo hurts
oh deep deep pain
much worse than a broken arm
i mean theres pain ya can deal with
and theres pain that fuckin’ drives you up the wall
this earache…..
my lovely wife up and running round in the middle of night
all worried about me
i’m all at sea
moaning and carrying on
anyway
come home from the docs
he says to take a shower
wash the ear out again
then take penicillin and eardrops and my painkillers
so i take off my clothes
getting ready for shower
nk appears
anything else the doctor says i can do for you
yeah yeah
i say
he says you gotta help me relieve the pressure
what pressure she says
all the pressure building up here i say
and i point
but not at my ear
hmmmm she says
you cant be that sick, can you?
well dear wife
i think i just should do anything
that ll get me mind off me ear…
uh huh
i love these alternative treatments….

people
lemme tell you something is going on here
i have a theory that a huge enough destiny
will imprint backwards into the present day
so we kinda remember it all before its happened
of course i speak of my pet political obsession
mr malcolm turnbull
my opposite
my negative
my anathema
yet…..
to bring those of you up to speed here
i give you the brief rundown
if you know this bit
then keep moving down the page
till you find something you like
now get comfy
have a cuppa tea and a biccie
and read on :
1972
against the background of vietnam
t rex
long hair
teenage lurve
jamming in the garage
last year of high school
i was in canberran debating team
the nsw side came down to debate us
we had to put up one each in our own homes
my guy was malcolm turnbull
same age
we hated each other
i couldnt believe an eighteen year old
would look and act like a forty year old
possessed of unbeleavable self con-fidence
malcolm already knew it
he knew he was going all the way to the top
and maybe even further
i guess everybody around him felt it too
his team beat our team
he demolished us
next to his debating skills
his ability to think on his feet
his huge vocab and his toffy accent
next to him we were fucking kids
he was the best we’d ever seen
it was like arguing with winston churchill
this dude was the decider
anyway
you know the other bits
an attempt to dally with our rather large breasted 1st speaker
was thwarted quickly when she told him to bugger off
as we drove home
the atmos-fear in my mazda was icy
malcolm didnt really dig rock neither
so we didnae have much more to say
except of course
occaisionally he’d mutter
something like
how dare she reject….ME!!??
anyway he chatted to joycie
in his smoking jacket
he knew everything about everything
mum was impressed
and issued her famous prophecy
son
say what you like about him
he will one day be the prime minister of australia
and you know what
whatever i may have said
i knew
in my heart of hearts
that had already seen the future
but could not reveal it to me
that malcolm would be the top man…one day
now
ok
yeah you read all that before
but i wanna say it
you overseas readers
watch this
this guy will at the next election become p.m.
no doubt
you see this election
it was all looking so bad for him
his wife wrote letters to his constituency
begging them to believe that her mal was not a toffy nosed snob
if you only knew him like me
said mrs moneypants (of the olde-moneypants)
and suddenly his boundaries got changed
incorporating some serious proletarian hoi-polloi lefty voters
plus a new opponent who was ex mayor and out to get him
plus some horrible posters everywhere
featuring mal next to the now gone john howard
both looking so miserable
and underneath how they wont sign kyoto
(which is ironic cos mal was the one lib who did wanna sign)
anyway
i thought
uh oh
mals gonna get done
i wont be able to say i had the p.m. stay with me
i wont be able to dine out for years and years
on how our joanna told him to flipping well bugger off
and i can embellish and embellish it forever
so i started looking at him very differently
hes very humble now
tho i suspect that
its an act
or
like me
hes just getting older…
anyway
despite it looking so grim before the election
now
mal gets voted back in with a swing to him
howard the leader of the libs gets thrown out of his own seat
costello the next in line spits the dummy and quits
(cos he knew mal was gonna do him)
suddenly mal is gonna be the opposition leader
gimme a crack at rudd he says
mal will have rudd on toast
mal will do rudd and whoever comes next
mal is unstoppable
so what
but the really weird thing
is everybody knows it
already there a hundreds of letters appearing in the papers
all saying
we’ve all always known mal would be the pm anyway
its inevitable…
a couple of useless gooses stand in his way
abbott and nelson
and i tell thee this
mal will do em both and toss em aside
most of the party and people of aust
have already accepted it
what joycie said 35 years ago
we all knew it all along
i wonder what it is that he only ever succeeds
like a poker player on a roll
he doesnt believe he can ever lose
and if you come up against him
you will believe it too
and
heres something
i believe he will be a memorable prime minister
he’ll be around a long time
he’ll see aust is a republic
he’ll make logical decisions
he will be environmentally aware
i wonder what will eventually bring him undone?
once he’s leader he can drop the lightweight humble act
he sometimes put on
to seem less threatening to those he would soon replace
i am in awe of the man
filthy rich a success thru and thru
what gives?
how does this work?
what mechanism propels these men to their destinies
and then
their dooms?

this world continues to amaze
i need to balance the bad with the good
i need to stop wondering why people let it happen
because after all
what could we have ever done
elli n minna come over
we get to chatting about the election
and elections in general
now imagine elli n minna
all swedish leftish and
so idealistic and naive
they are still operating under
a very 16 year old assumption
that this world is fair and or just
someone mentions mr g w bush
elli and minna couldnt believe that
when we told em
he had the election rigged
by various ways
disallowing votes from largely democrat voting areas
etc
how the high court appointed by his own cronies helped him
how the whole dubious malarkey went down in a state
WHERE HIS OWN BROTHER WAS THE GOVERNOR!!!!!!
and climate lovin’ experienced peaceful al gore
did not get the gig that most americans wanted and had fairly
voted him into
but that a blatant cheat and imposter
a privileged and spoilt child
a draft dodging drug using drunk drivin’ business ruiner
a man of very average intelligence and no charm or grace
an untravelled man
an inexperienced man
had
seized the throne in the most powerful kingdom in the world
and everybody sat back and let it happen
elli and minna screaming at me
but why didnt anybody do anything?
im sorry my girls
but what the fuck didja think we coulda done?
a revolution?
cos as far as i know
thats the only way to deal with usurpers and despots etc
but
cmon…
we in the west
we just had to wait it out
till he goes
and then in time
we can all look back and see him
for what he is
just like johnson and nixon and
their belligerent australian equivalents
because this guy has caused
a lot of people to get killed
some of them definitely didnt have to be dead now
many of them innocent families
thats right children were killed and hideously maimed
as in vietnam
who deemed this necessary?
what great statesman persuaded us in the west
that we needed to kill some more children somewhere
to guard liberty
because they hated “our” way of life
and then
and oh this is this ironic twist de la creme
when his own country actually needed him
when serious calamity struck
he was
useless
hopeless
nothing
if you dont believe it go to new orleans
and buy yerself a
make levies not bombs t shirt
but what are we supposed to do about it?
no i dont have no answers
im a pop singer after all
not even a good or popular one either
im just saying
i just accept it in numb denial like all the rest
we pretend these idiots know what they are doing
we KNOW in our heart of hearts they dont….
the job of leading a country
especially a huge and powerful country
requires a charismatic genius
who can speak 5 languages
has spent much time abroad
he should be artistic athletic humble patient
etc etc etc
its the most important thing in the world
cant we agree the system is failing us
look at ww 1
so many of us killed, brothers and sisters
why oh why did we believe it then?
why did we all have to die in this war?
but what could you do
we dont want to go to jail
we dont want a revolution either
we just want to raise our families etc etc
same as it ever was
the top guys should be appointed
like any other top job
the elections are a joke
you need money
you need to navigate the party faction bullshit
you need propaganda and secret backers
you need cronyism and nepotism
all that caper
no real person actually fit for the job is gonna go thru that
the 2 party thing is bullshit too
especially when they are almost the same
except one gets you involved in more wars
where is the choice?
and
should we be the ones even doing the choosing
i mean
as it goes
we the people
havent had much luck
in getting the right guys into the jobs
look at all the complete fools
the west has elected to various jobs since whenever
sorta people who led us into loadsa wars
im not talking just the english speaking west either
europes produced a few individuals
who were responsible for oceans of blood needlessly spilt
no idea is worth one drop of blood
unless it be your own blood you spill
unlike the idea of say
the domino theory
a lotta people died for that
or christianity
a lotta people died for that
or witchcraft
a lotta people died for that
ideas
her brave son who gave his life to save the slogan
anyway
my daughters outrage at “the way things are”
forces me to take on the weary realist with them
i know but what can ya do i just say over and over…..
we need a revolution of the heart
as soon as the next guy comes along and starts talking bout war
if its not a war actually involving somebody invading us
us in the fucking west i mean
yes yes
try and stop wars if we have to
but not start the ones dont need to be started
its never worked
never
ww1 and ww2 were mostly west against west
we annihilated each other just about
and we invented and used atomic bombs
havent we learnt anything?
we need to be more careful
we need to examine the way we’re doing things
we need to take care of the poor and old and helpless everywhere
we need to be compassionate towards the “dumb” beasts
who dont speak our lingo
no more fucking wars
no more fucking bombs
try to entice some intelly-gents into these gigs
like that guy they had in india before they shot him
and old abe and jfk who they also shot
and his bro
who they also shot
hell
they even killed marilyn monroe
and we find out
40 years later
and go
oh….thats just awful
and turn away
go back to deletin’ some stuff outta my ipod
and i say
what the fuck can I do?

genius is pain
but i dont feel a thing
let it (kill) be
i’m the one who saw what you did
i land
you see
im across it
parallel kilbey feeds me songs
there is the secret
now the clouds lowered on the houses
let out your warm rain then
the plants are all iridescent green
drink deep my loves
my deep loves drink
an art that can only be explained by doing it
otherwise
the faith needed
is the guarantee
the long voids where nothing happens…
suddenly!
things happen of their own accord
the fingers know their work
all creative acts flow into the other
is this music or love its hard to tell
or sell
my little rascal there are mysteries ‘pon mysteries
yes you scoff and you scorn
i tell you one thing
the power you want does not come cheap or easy
the short cuts are exhausted or lead nowhere
and
if you do ever get the power
by then
you would have learned
not to even want it
yes revenge is sweet
and regrets are bitter
but you need something plain
to take away the aftertaste of a hard life
the ocean dont care
he swims in its grey green warmth
he dips the lemurian c in the sea
the rain comes in ver-tick-lea
crooked reign crooked reign
raindrops keep falling on my crown (chakra)
everyone has dormant gifts they must needs awaken
i am the time being
songwriter
daughtermaker
bullshitter and more
i worship some ineffable god
who is kind enough to appear
in some way i can understand with my limited mind
not capable of downloading all his splenda
by a million miley miles
i just can view one tiniest bit
a still from a never ending film
you must devote yourself
to anything at which you wish to such seed
love devotion
music devotion
blogge devotion
farther devotion
give yourself
love understanding
understanding devotion
realising more and more
you know less and less
its all stuff inner dream
the further you go in
more emptiness
a gracious emptiness
accepting and soothing
you cant find life
but its all around
but what is life
wither life goes
wear it comes from
inside the seed is nothing
but life is not nothing
but we know almost nothing
we are still savages
we are skins and furs and hides
we are clobber n bomb em
we are give em some stick
we are futurebound emptyhanded
we are footnotes
we are mist
we are temporary eternals
creatures claiming no creator
so burnt by maya we screaming in furies
so some devotion
maybe recommended
its all the same to me
me to same
reverse
upside down
inside out
and
sideways
13 *s

i propose a new music
a music not paying lipservice to the blues
a music freed up from key and tempo restraints
music that can morph organically up and down
slower faster slower
music in which the instruments co operate
not run through their set parts
instruments that operate as a conversation
instruments which illustrate the words
instruments which come in play their bit and depart
instruments content to be points in a tapestry
let the musicians question every single note and beat
and ask themselves
why?
let the musicians open minds match their dexterity of fingers
let their deep traditional knowledge be matched by spontaneity
let the songs be long or short
with without words
in all or no languages
let the aim of this music be to be gloriously Beautiful
every single time
let its standard be ecstatic bliss
let it explore every level of music
let the music be a true accompaniment to the words
as actors are to other actors
not merely the backdrop or scenery
let the musicians dare to embrace any silences necessary
let the singers sing wild powerful songs
let the singers be old and young
let the singers be men and women
let the singers sing every word with thought and feeling
let the musicians strive to bewitch and intoxicate
let startling originality be the most revered attribute
(so long as it contains Beauty)
experiments will not be admired for their own sake
only if they uncover Beauty
Beauty defined as that which exhilarates through its excellence
by the love and thought applied to it
by its classical ideal
and its modern innovations
the pursuit of lovely otherness
the pursuit of the gods own music
the pursuit of symphonic ambience
the pursuit of orgasmic crescendo
intelligence
grace
power
let the words be different
let the words contain truth and imaginative fantasy
let the words be written from love
even if words of hate or bitterness
let them be unbearably poignant
let them rhyme or not
let them be clever or not
let them be sensual or subtle
let them never be oafish
boorish
dull
ordinary
depressing
sickening
whining
ugly
let the music be free
let the concerts be free
let the music be subsidised as we now subsidise war
let the music ring on and on
let the music describe the great universe
and the intricate abstract
let the music come
will it
demand it
expect it
*

writing songs la la la
jamming good with weird and timmy
playing a bit of lead guitar
after all these years
at last i’m getting better
or
at least i’m getting better
people write in
dont reveal the process
other people say
tell us everything
explain it
unravel it
people say
play the song we know
people say
play the song we dont know
people say
be proud
others:
be humble
some say too much
some say too little
i have stifled the fucking clamour of those voices in my head
yes
i understand the principle of too much info
yes
i remember what i said
yes i remember the people i was seeing
yes i remember everything
i take it all in
some one says
from where does your bottomless well of insp. spring ?
it springs from everlasting love, lady
it springs from my ceaseless stumbling around
crashing into songs
capturing blogges from the aether
whipping the little devils into shape
yeah yeah
i know you wanna know bout the songs we’re writing
not my rapper-like ability to spin a bullshit yarn
aggrandizing my stupid self
yeah
they were electric
brutal for my part some of them
i wrang the guitars neck and stepped on the peddles
i sang whatever came into my head
which was almost everything
nodded off over a piano giving me the cold shoulder
pummeled the bass cuffed it round the ears
i only feel like a real man
when i”m insinuating myself threw the air
a low sonic barrage
uh!
uh!
uh!
heat up and sweat i do
we hammer at a sigur ros like thing for about an hour
it seems like life on earth must change
but
afterwards
i sit in carpark doing yoga twists
and i hear the morbid repulsive drone of heavy metal bands rehearsing
i hate metal
death
speed
black
butterscotch with gills
what ever
i loathe it
even more than doof doof
music for teenage boys
made by silly old geezers like metallica
didja see their dvd with the shrinks and stuff…?
how could ya watch that
and then take all the ridiculous posturing seriously
they are all almost….effeminate
oh what a waste of time
of course they are like ravi shankar
compared to sydneys 4th rate metal bands
deafening each other in a black box out here in rehearsaland
all singing in that silly voice
yeah
you know the one
the one where youre POSSESSED!
ooh how scary
ooh how original
ooh how horrible to have to hear it
the moronic fundamentalist satanism of it
i mean
i dont know the dev. personally
but i’m sure
he gets a giggle out of this anxiety inducing bilge
a sample lyric:
im a decaying beelzebub with bubonic plague
im frying in the deepest pit of the abyss
im a sulphur spitting monster zombie gangland dog
now lil baby, can i get a kiss
i’m a pus dripping vampires afterbirth pickled in newts piss
im a worm eating yer guts in a vomit puddle
im a skellington rider eating little girls for brekkie
cmon lil honey, just gimme a cuddle
cos
satan is a mofo
cos hell just aint like home
and the rotten carcass corpses demon fire skull
and garden gnome

see what i mean?
(actually…..hmmmm…maybe on to something…)
thats it
im sitting at the rehearsal studio in alexandria
getting readsy to pull my genius suit on
oh
its all crumpled and torn
ah