The Time Being | Steve Kilbey

guest starring today, for the first time ever !
elli n minna

question 1 : What’s it like having Steve Kilbey as a dad?

E : nothing special really, like a holiday-dad i guess… not that super cool as you guys may think.

M : it feels like I’m supposed to feel impressed, but the truth is that I don’t give a damn… he could be a plumber for all I care..He always speaks his mind, which is good, but sometimes you just don’t want to hear that your new pants are silly! He is not superdad, but he sure does have a great sense of humor! A bad thing is that he sometimes can lay guilt trips on you so you feel really bad..You’d understand if you were his daughter..Like you feel bad if you’re to tired to go to the pool or whatever..Haha…or I don’t know..

question 2 : What’s it like being an identical twin?

E: I would say this is about the 1033434734343944384 time i answer this question, but the answer is always different. Today the answer is : It was perfect growing up, you were never alone, never spoilt.. It’s good now because we share wardrobe and makeup, so i have loads and loads of that kind of stuff.. But it’s soooooo annoying being mixed-up. it’s like people on the outside don’t see us as two individuals, we’re one unit. that’s really wrong. we don’t have any of the same friends, any of the same interests, except clothes and partying i guess.. My worst nightmare would being stuck with her for the rest of my life! ( i love her, it’s not that)

M: I agree, this is the billionth time I answer this question! The upside is that you have someone that you have a really inner connection with, that ALWAYS understands the way you’re feeling and with one look can understand exactly what you’re thinking. But to be honest, it’s mostly pretty bad. You’re ALWAYS getting mixed up and compared, everyone thinks we have the same personality and stuff. SO untrue! If we weren’t related we probably wouldn’t like each other at all. And it’s always this underlying competition; who’s the smartest, prettiest, funniest etc.. Quite tired of it actually….We’re not that special, sometimes I just wish I was “normal”, whatever that is?

question 3 : How did you come to liking The Kooks?

M: Um, I just randomly got sent a Kooks song from a friend who saw their video on some website and I thought they were good, so I downloaded some more of their songs and listened to them this summer..I think their songs are catchy and cute (do I dare to say original?) and I love their Brighton accents, haha…Anyway, didn’t really know so much about them, wasn’t so interested but in November I saw a poster with them on it and that they were having a concert so I went and it was great..I’m not a really big fan actually but I have a t-shirt with them on it so I guess that’s why daddy asked this question..*And the singer is really hot, hahahha…

question 4 : What do you perceive as the differences between teenage life in Stockholm and Sydney?

M: First of all, there’s a big difference between the people in Sydney and Stockholm in general because I think that Australians are more social,open and happier to strangers, like “How are you” from people you don’t know, and I always seem to talk to people I don’t know when I’m here…And that’s the difference in teenage life too, in Sweden, you depend quite much on cliques. It’s not so common that brats and punks socialize for example. You stay with people that are the same as you, and I must say that everyone is very judgemental, prejudice. But the teenagers I know here are really open and invtiting, ofcourse there are ratbags here but you know.. So I would say Stockholm is quite mean and not so outgoing, while Sydney is nice and social…Or I don’t know..

E : Okay, I would say Sydney is like 100 times better than Stockholm. I like the people more, the environment is better, the city is cooler.. ! everything! The girls aren’t as pretty here as in Sweden and the guys are waay hotter here! So that’s just perfect! But I guess I only have this perception because I don’t live here.. Ask me when I live here in a years time!

Final question :
Hopes and dreams for the future?

E : Not getting sick again, feeling like normal in my body, having kids that are perfectly healthy, having enough money, having a nice house in a nice suburb, having a nice clean car and a nice husband.. For my 20’s I hope that I travel around the world, try new things, live and learn from my mistakes, have loads of friends all around the world.. To become a lawyer is my goal right now, but the big question is if I’m up for lawschool for 5 years… One thing I could do is launch H&M in Australia ! I would make a fortune!!! ( the best swedish shop ever… the coolest clothes, the best designers like Stella McCartney, Karl Lagerfeld, Viktor and Rolf.. It’s cheap, everything is like 20 $ aus.. They have it in every country around the world except Australia !!!! wonder why ? ) I hope I live til’ im old and I hope my family remains healthy and happy !

M: My hopes are mainly to just be a good person and to have a good life, feeling comfortable doing what I do. I want to meet interesting and positive people and I want to travel…I also want a couple of party years and just doing fun things.At the moment, my dream is to be a journalist, possibly a music journalist (sk hates them but WHATEVER) and maye write for Rolling Stone or something…staying healthy and beautiful!

***************************************************
meanwhile…
ah…
i er….
think im gonna do some more yoga..
and …
i’ll be back tomorrow with the bumpergate report
thats it
thanks to my readers n subscribers/donors
and a small technical note to them
who do or did send one dollar
paypal takes most of it at that rate
so better to do occaisional lump than constant one buck
but thank you to all concerned
some people have been extremely generous
and i have sold their names n addresses off
to junkmail companies
and mailing list pests
so a nice double whammy there!!!
no no no
everything is confidential
(mrs r kaputnick of ohio
did your husband know you $ent me THAT much??!!)
(and also
mr s hussein of baghdad
im sorry paypal does not except that currency
even if your face is on the hundred whatnot bill)
not to mention
mrs jenny taylor of croydon sydney
who asked for her money back
because shed meant to donate
100 bucks not a 1000
and seeing shes on a old age pension
i actually rang her personally(reverse charges tho)
to explain that
well
basically
finders keepers
losers etc etc
and finally
the guy who had the fertilizer delivered
with the card
“one lotta bullshit deserves another”
thanks
but that was my olde address
an islander bouncer lives there now…
(and he knows where ya live!)
now you may think im being paranoid
but i think with that money flowing
and swelling my coughers
i think the irs are watching me
apparently so many commenters in the u.s.
have sent so much yanqui moolah
down the shute to steve kilogram kilbey
that its created a kinda vortex
and im being blamed as a scapegoat
for your deffy-sit
(ooohhh its a big one!)
so please patrons
slow down
keep to six figure sums
dont put wrinkly money in the slot
a lot of american money has traces of cocaine on it
try and send me those bills in future
yes giovanni dolce of milano
i got yer 50 000 lires
i just bought a swizzle fucking stick with it!
thanks to the lady who said im too poor
to send ya money
but heres something i did at macrame…
thanks, there were mites in the rope…!
thanks to the guy who said
you should be paying me to read this garbage
yeah pal heres yer refund
ker-ching
0$
no but really folks
its very very nice
im coming round all of yer homes
one by one
when ya least expect it
we’re going anti alfa bettic
so soon we’ll be dropping in on all the time being fans
in zanzibar
bye bye
sk

oh muse oh muse
here i am nevets
here i am sweet childe in time
where am where am i my muse
wil-os house little nevets in brrrs-baine
its warm n overcast little muse
aw, your favourite weather tiny nevets
kind wil-o nevets
to let nevets stay here
not nasssty hotel…ooh cold n unfeeling
oh thanks wil-o for my brekky juice
and for the water pressure
now muse i must smokemore
because my velocity has sagged
oh kind wil-o tuning nevetss guitar
no nevetss would never hurt kind wil-o …not now
snap out of this!
oh sorry muse lassa nites gig us unbalanced me
a miasma even you could not penetrate
like releasing doves into a void
our songs n our jokes ….
where did they go
nevetss like your olde dreams
where did they go?
i play for hours n hours
up there in a cold blinding spotlight
my fingers aching n longing to disengage
my throat constricted n numb
i croak out my songs like an olde crow
i play with the dexterity of a doll-fin
we drum up a little little crowd
pygmy ordients
out there some where
like eldorado
hard to pull off the trick in these lounge room conditions
its like i told em last night
theres this film of me about 16
prince valiant hairdo
my silly violin bass unplugged in
(i had no real amp my fiendss)
and im going crazy on this silent film
my fingers running over the bass
at impossible lightnin’ speed
it woulda actually sounded inaudible
except for a few thunka pop slap slap
and the faces im pulling….
every agony n the exstacy grimace n pout
as i try to play every note at once
then my father pans out
to show me standing there
in the middle of the lounge room
only my brother john about 3 or 4 at the time
standing there looking at me
as if nothing ridiculous aint happening
just par for the course stuff for those days
yes i was a tennis racket strummer
me n russell
russell had a badminton racquet…
i’d put on please please me
and do all the inbetween stage announcements
we gonna play anna
and i’d really go over the top on this song
cause i was boyishly enamoured with an anna at school
so i put a lot into my tennis racquet n mirror interpretation
muse…?
im listening nevets…
this was long ago
long before i first contacted thee
oh sweet n blessed day my muse
flatter me not foolish zeitbeing
i am your muse only
and when i die darling muse
do you die with me…?
oh no hush now mortal man
a muse cannot die
i will be transformed into your new muse
when you live in the white future
already foreseen n described n mapped in mimesis
you will call me wendy
oh ha ha thats it in a nutshell
meanwhile we sitting here
at wil-os v. pleasant abode
muse i must burn willows musical branches
must keep searching for the stuff i need
to keep searching for the stuff i need
must keep fighting this fight muse
stop struggling nevets…take some timeoff
a holiday…it would be so nice…
its true muse i suspect my sanity
talking to imaginaries
seeing voices
over n above me
hey ho whos there
mrs doasyouwouldbedoneby
and timebeing lives out his days
only time separating him from the ash
all this you see
and then
the white future
the colourless time
the peacefull moment
the long white night of the tyrant
the silent city
where nothing shall ever happen
is this it then muse?
yes yes maybe
but now we must away nevets
we must train your diamond eyed gaze elsewhere
brisappointment disbane
i just think the conditions werent right
not like in melba-beyorn
it happened there
but not here
tyvarr we say in swedish
fuck em if they cant take a joke
i say mostly when i know im wrong
but afterwoods
a few say
hey it was okay
ok?
sk

yeah
cascading shards of diamonds
living diamonds
the earth yields
sub-atomic bits n pieces
pseudo-ephedrine
everything belongs to her
a process of subtraction
from the marble a noble face emerges
quick the clarion call beckons to us
all
bird-phantoms shriek in the ether
the raw of great jets
and their vapours devouring the sky
bang as we crash into the thin air
somewhere in peaceful fields
i wrest control from the darkening elliptic
you see i quote imaginary poets
i sing songs written in a spiritworld
everytime i take no for an answer
everytime i swim in the rain
the hypodermic rain
needling the waters-skin
examining the nets…are they strong enough?
can natalie hold her picture together with one finger?
im sad now the musics broken
what light can be shed by a simple guarantee?
how many guineas for a pig?
and the naturals live naturally in a natural paradise
and the elementals have shared their hiding places
and the trees used to whisper
before virginia
send those ships back stranger
many after you coming
no turning them
we who thought we were heroes
were the fools n villains
but not me not me not me
they all cry
so i run down to the sea again n again
drowning all those voices in waters arms
wash my cares away in marine warmth
bubbles n soft tiny jellyfish
the tiny particles n pebbles n bits of glass
dancing as the wave lifts them
underwater great rocks grind n move
sea salt weeds flounder current snagged
private avenues leading to plush vestibules
antechambers adorned with fresh red flowers
bacchus grapes columns domino lakeview
naked as the night now
intertwined like vines
we ripple thru purple darkness
i imagine it again
and once more
for safety

g’morning fiendss
its 7.21 here chez kil
the olde zeitbeing is up early blogging away
faining to win the hearts of his patrons
yessaday a big day
an unseasonal cold wet spell has hit syddley
(global warming!?)
well i guess its more christmassy than blazing blue skies
elli n minna however are a little dismayed
theyd hoped for suntans n balmy days
but ended up with pouring rain and restless doodles
talking of doodles
me nk n b bumper drove out to toyz r uss in the horrible big place
as soon as olde sk walks in
just like superman being exposed to green kryptonite
the fluoro lites n the rows of soul-less toys starts doin’ me head in
i start off with nausea and that slides downwards to a dull panic
is this my fault?
or have i just cultivated this bullshit to appear “above it all”?
you know
i do want to be above it all
dont you?
i just feel like all the time i spend on that kinda thing
in that kinda place hurts me..
although i dont resent or begrudge having been there
its just that…
i cant explain..
anyway nk is quite the opposite here
she runs round looking at things
eventually she asks if the bumper cant have her own “stuffed animal”
(an unfortunate saying…?)
shes already picked out this little bulldoggy one
and the bumpers arms go out n shes starts twitchin’ n moanin’
like shes a zombie under a hex…
when shes gets the little bulldog in her arms
shes like a drowning man clutching at straws
a desperate cuddle like shes just found her little lost pup
eve n aurora getta loada stuff
i guess theyre gonna love it
but i guess im no longer a “toy” boy
meanwhile in the elli n minna show
things are par for the course
i blow it when i find out elli n minna are going to a party
all my eloquence
all my knowledge of language
disappears when i argue with either set of twins
and then they
just as i did
when i wassa precocious little smart-arse wally
they correct little details in what i say
i call the twillies doodles
and i call the doodles twillies
often in the heat of the moment
eg
twillies stop strangling the bumper!!!
er actually dad…we’re the doodles….
or
in the car in a bizzy street
quickly doodles i cant stop here
where do you wanna be dropped off???!!!!
daddy you called us the doodles no daddy…..
(and thatd be in stereo in unison, folks)
anyhow the twillies are invited to a party
they immediately go on full defensive manoevres
when i try to “interrogate” elli
while minna joins in with angry jeers n outraged laughter
then their mother rings up
elli talks to her for a while n hangs up
what did she say about the party i ask
elli says its cool if you think so
well well well
hmmmmm…
the phone rings a minute later
seems that mama back in the olde country
reckons elli just hung up on her
and that it definitely aint that cool with her
elli keeps saying whatever to everyone
and i must say in the mouth of a petulant teenager
that it makes me feel like the major from fawlty towers
confronting the sheer immovable obstinancy of youth
i bluster about saying stuff that makes the twillies writhe
n exclaiming in swedish
sydneys a bit harder faster n nastier than stockholm i say
men herre gud minna splutters or “whatever” it was minna
if you read this blogge
i dont remember ALL the tiny details
the way you 2 apparently do
but i cannot complain
because i was exactly the same at this age
especially with my dad
when wed have arguments
my nonchalance over his “old-fashioned” ideals
my laziness n ingratitude etc
would infuriate him…
i never stopped loving the old boy for a moment
but i was amazed at my ability to get this normally placid guy
absolutely tongue tied n ready to murder me
well the twillies are a double blast of youthful euro insouciance
they can handle sydney and theyre horrified
when i say im gonna pick em up
no daddy! no o o o o oh!
well we all get a chance to play every role
it really doesnt seem that long ago
that i was the antagonist
and i was the rebel without a clause
so anyway
thats enuff of that stuff
fambleys can be ruff
tuff!!
lassa nite more rehearsals for the show
we spend lotsa time talking bout the characters
and i find it very helpful
for the 1 st time we run thru the first bit
off the book
no scripts
its a bit like having yer first swim without the floatie
nothing holding you up anymore
i dont do as bad as i thought i might
maybe not as good as i wanted either tho
but its starting to happen
like the choreography of a zebra n a lion
peter n jerry must seamlessly intertwine
we rehearse hard and we back up n down the play
fine tuning n even finer tuning
words n gestures must unravel fluidly fluently
it must seem like its happening
you gotta lock in like a musical duo
it aint about me
im a supporting character
and im glad too
im too olde to play jerry
and i could never remember the page after page
of the jerry n the dog speech
i get a new respect for actors
musicians can drift a little in their heads
actors gotta stay focussed baybee 100 %
you cant slip outta character for even a second
or yer illusion is shattered by a moments loss of concentration
so its quite tiring to run over scenes
again n again
cos you gotta keep giving it all you got
or you dont know what you got at all
the director thinks its going very well
and thats inspiring…right?
today is another overcast day
its so cold i got my socks n boots on
in the middle of australian summer
i believe that some sweet blessed rain fell
where it was needed
and we can only be thankful for that
the twillies are now up n haranguing me
as i write
anticipating todays blogs criticism
elis going whatever whatever whatever again
in my day id say to my dad
dont chuck a william about it
and my dad’d do just that
n chuck a fuckin’ william
whatever that means
thats it!
sk

please please forgive me
there was nae internet in hotel
couldnot blogge yessasday
when i get home too much other things
melbjorne was a good gig
we played for hours n hours n hours
i drunk too many red bulls n jaegers….time warped
i was coming n going at the same time
it seemed i was on that stage my whole life
eternally strapped to guitar
singin’ some song i no longer understand
the black room
the noise of the instruments lingering on
the faces in the audience slipping and changing
eternal song n dance men
knocking out our jive since year dot
we’re early
we do our soundcheque
we’re nice n polite to everyone too
we eat ourr din -dins
they had chargrilled tofu on a med stack
(mediterranean now synonomous with eggyplant n capsicum!)
plus a loada martys frenchfries (or chips as we used to say)
then back to hotel
wow poor olde melbjorne…..
i love this city my little pigs
and ive never seen anything like it…
except here before in the eighties
the entire city is in smoke…
the smoke from the hinterland fires
has drifted into melby
and permeates its streets like a fog
the whole city is full of smoke..
visibility about quarter of a mile
then everything fades to white
everybody still going about their bizzy-ness tho
lygon street in carlton where we stayed
is jumping n bumping
a thousand street cafes with an italian bent
people:wine, women n song…
pasta waiters long blacks n garlick bread
the next morning i buy yet another ganesha for nk
and a wheat grass juice at boost juice
the flight back to syddey is bumpy
i download songs from mwps hard-drive
trespass n selling england by genesis
the kooks cos theyre minnas favourite band
when i arrive home
the whole fambley waiting for me out the front
the twillies help with guitars
the doodles run around
scarlet going oooh oooh ….wow!
then i take some of em for a swim
yeah thats better
the sea washes away all the travelling…
then a gay olde man checks out my wedding tackle in the change room
came close to getting to check out my fist as well
just standing there gawking at me
as i take a shower
trying to keep up a conversation bout the weather
while hes looking at my credentials…
hey mister…be gay in yer own fucking cubicle…ok?
later i walk past him n his little boyfriend
and he says something bout me n they both titter
maybe next time i just should use the ladies…….
which reminds me
a few weeks back i get outta the pool
i walk in mens change rooms
im pulling off ye olde bathers
thinking vaguely to myself
wow that guy over there has strange looking back n bum
when blow me down
the bloke turns round n its a lady….
no lady dont scream….
yer in the wrong room…..ha ha ha
she scoops up a towel
n covers her confusion
n runs away
hmmmm
wonder if i could get away with it so easily…
i also got a lovely massage from a reiki guy
n boy did he have the power flowing thru his hands
chi n prana dripping from his yonder fingertips
the energy was flowing
in n out of my chakras we go
today i gota buy a divan for twillies
who are still jet lagged
then this afternoon more rehearsals for the play
i met an actor at a party who says hes in a musical
based on babes in wood
its on at the oprah house
and it includes under the milky weigh
hes got me some free tickets
he says the audience go crazy when that song comes on
last night baby bumper kicked me to sleep
i been sung to sleep
n rocked to sleep
but this is first time i been booted to sleep
hard little heels in my back
bang bang bang
oh thats nice…
but im too tired to care
i fall asleep anyway
wake up today
she pretends like nothing happened
shes got the twillies cooing n laughing at all her tricks now
oh daddy shes so cute!
yeah thats all she needs is more flattery
cos miss scarlet is rapidly becoming a law unto herself
baby bully-head
anyway
thats how i see it
today
at any rate
thanks to my subscribers
thanks to people who sent me stuff
i have received everything n im very great-full
finding it hard to keep up
neglecting everything n everyone
still aint done my xmas shopping (bah humbug!)
but we have a xmas tree with 8 different lighting permutations
1 blinding
2 headache inducing
3migraine inducing
4nauseating;ly fast
5 more nauseatingly fast
6 even more naus…oh excuse me…
7 hold on to yer baubles folks
8 off
what this has to do with jeesus christos
i am yet to ascertain
wasnt it hard getting candy cane in judea circa 1 bc
could the reindeers have actually been flying camels?
did herod try to kiss salome under the mistletoe?
im confused…what the fuck is christmas anyway…
it seems like a hodge podge of ideas
all superimposed on top of each other willy nilly
the only chrissy card ive received all year
is from the doodles jewish dentist
seasons greetings it said
nicely ambiguous but not offensive
it coulda said
merry xmas
but the real messiah is yet to appear
and thanks for the check-ups n polishing!
theyre are lots n lots of jewish people here in bondi
n eastern suburbs
so hanukah is pretty big here
as well
everyone likes a holiday thats for sure
and ironically
its self employed idiots like me who never get em
no 4 weeks on full pay for the olde kilbeing, steve timeby
just an endless stream of this n thats
until i go to the great northcote social club in the sky
where i will rock forever with hutch n karen carpenter
(i wonder if hes done for her what he did for kylie)
and speaking of her
didja see her french git olivier
after tellin’ the world how he was gonna stand by her
thru “thick n thin”
(aint that a echo n the rabbitboys line?)
well hes run off with a foxier younger chick…!?
whod have thought it kylie?
youd imagine them french playboys ‘d have more gumption
wouldnt ya?
anyway mr olivier..you better watch out if ya ever come downunder
cos we aussies dont like it when our songbirds are jilted
and we’re not that big on the french either
after they cinque our boat the rainbow warrior…
and cos of their unpronouncable language
that makes us feel like philistines
and cos they aint produced any decent music except
serge gainsborough n air
n because
they still eat horse meat in paris!
(look children…heres the mane course)
anyway
thats enuff for one day
i still love you all
thanks to everyone concerned
love yer work
sk

so much in my head
that must be filtered slowly by my fingers
if i get a speech recognition apparatus
will it understand my hipster spelling?
for days now nk reminds me of an incident
and i say
must put it on the blogue
but now silly olde being has forgotten again
tonighty i hit melbjorne with em double you pee
apparantly he vs me you know
its so hard to believe i will leave the calm of my 7 am kitchen
for the smoke booze n grime of northcoat antisocial club
where i will strum n pluck
croon n shout
buckle n sway
plugged into my infallible muse
who will fill my head with sweet songs n words
and angry n sad words
and words to make you giggle or jeer
words about all the words that separate us my childe
words about words that came between us
must i use the same words to decry those words, my angel(s)?
anyway
there’ll i’ll be
good olde me playing n singin’
a good little show-biz trooper for yer commendations n kudos
put me on that small list
of the guys who try for ya everytime
the guys who are still lookin’ for new chord progressions
new ways of saying things
new thrills n spills with electric guitars n drums
we are upholders of tradition
AND
explorers of new realms
we take best from past present n future
WE MAY HAVE ALREADY MADE THE BEST ROCK THAT WILL EVER BE MADE!!
its like a spoon, my little pigs
you cant improve on a spoon
it is already the fully evolved flower of possibility
not unlike , say….well you know
anyway
i must be digressing
cos ive lost the plot a little
oh
elli n minna went to bed about 3 in the afternoon yesterday
have since not emerged
despite offers of food n gossip rags
it appears teenagers will take sleep
over kevvy fedder-lion
if theyre really tired…
last night watched a film called mary
with julie bin-ochee and whatsisname the big black guy
with funny eye
and matty mo-dean
i rate it as a 3n a half outta five
nk gives same rating i guess
7 23 am now
getting closer to the actuality of taxi-airport
flight-airport-taxi-hotel-soundcheck-gig-hotel-sleep
taxi-airport-flight-airport-taxi-home
well i guess tomorrow morning this time
i’ll be in melbourne
maybe if internet is ON i’ll drop y’all a line
maybe waity for later….who can say..
who knows where the road will lead us
only a fool can say
but if im gonna love ya
its fer sure im gonna love ya
all the way……
all the way
sk

lovely cold summer day
forlorn n empty sea beats uselessly
against the shore
elli n minna arrive
we see eve n aurora
performing
in song n dance number
at the pavillion
scarlet starts crying
the seagulls crying outside
the wind comes down from the south
ice cold
in a cafe
sipping warm drinks
the baby gabbles n gobbles a bickie
elli shows johnny her scar
minnas hair has been cut
the falcon purrs along to airport
the rain spits on the windscreen
the coast is wreathed in cloud
riders on the storm
dark wet night coming down
my wife waits up to soothe me
energy has engulfed me
the stars shine on opaquely
as the afternoon just vanishes
like a candle in a library
or a meaning in the hidden
the weary ones come home now
their day has come n vanished
along the coastal margins
the squeezing of big city
apparently im drifting
nothing left to hold me
approaching zero speed now
can you feel the rhythm
tell me what suggests it
tell me who you love me
walking in a circle
around the total centre
circling the salons
and vexing in the contrast
musical vespucci
parallel uni-cycle
oh thats good i grant you
singing all your old songs

tomorrow the twillies come
9 30 in the morning
if youre out at sydney airport
youll see anxious daddy n 2 doodles
waiting for los twillies identicales
anna miranda jansson kilbey
elektra june jansson kilbey
(15 going on 27 says their mother)
minnas been hit in the face with a hockey stick
and an outbreak of pimples
poor minna arriving in oz with bruises n zits
minna has a lot of nicknames
the little cutie (from when shes wassa baby)
glow-worm
minni-bu-de-bum-bum
minnamala
skinny minny
choopa chinnick
mini-stroni
she reminds me of that actress
god i cant think of her name….uma thurman
minnas always been slightly smaller than elli
and tends to be victim to ellis bully
eg
its usually elli who gets minnas white jeans dirty
or borrows her handbag with all her stuff in it
you see ever since the twillies were born
theyve been imposing on each other
stealing the others thunder
raining on the others parade
the twillies actually go to separate schools
so little are they enamoured with being identi-twins
most of the kids at ellis school dont even know
she hassa a sister let alone identical twin
did i tell ya bout the time
minna being thoroughly pissed off with elli
and her unscheduled borrowing
turned up at ellis school
dressed as elli, flirting with the boys
n being cheeeky
people thought it was elli…how were they to know?
elli is the most like me of all my kids
she looks like me
she can act like me too
restless, flippant, iconoclastic
easily bored n argumentative
both the twills are doing ultra-well at school
almost straight As
its been a bit of a bad year for the twills
what with their cysts n their mums tumour
(had one op….waiting for another)
elli is kinda blase about everything now
a little distance to protect herself
the twillies speak with swedish accents
but their english is almost perfect
when they fight n argue its always in swedish
a loada yibber yabber sometimes followed with a slap
elli wont stop taking minnas stuff
n minna wont stop being outraged by it…
do they love each other?
yes
do they like each other?
not that much
its easier for the doodles
cos no one mixes em up
they aint identical
everyone knows evies the one with curly brown hair
and aurora with straight blonde
they know who they are
actually theyve always gotten on better than the twills
neither of them is dominant or even tries to be
whereas elli has always tried to dominate minna
the doodles were playing in their room for hours yesterday
no arguments no fighting, just co operation n fun
the twillies seem to incense each other
and they come to me with problems even solomon couldnt unravel
daddy she kicked me
but daddy she took my blah blah
no daddy its my blah blah
etc etc
when doodles carry on
i say
thats it!
or im gonna smack both yer bums
but you cant say that to the twillies…
you have to listen patiently to the endless petitioning..
daddy make her give me back my blah blah
quite frankly
im an olde guy of 52
i aint in the mood for all this gurlie malarkey
i dont care about yer squabbles
get it together!
n shuttup!
all that arguing n bitching makes me feel pressurized..
i just want a quiet life….ha ha ha…with this bunch…?!
so you can just imagine them arriving..all 3 of them
elli, minna and their perpetual argument
it makes me so sad….
unfortunately as well
elli n minna are deep into the goss rags n teen glossy-tripes
if you wanna know what kevin federlines wearing today
or some other idiots favourite colour
or why tom cruise-missile dropped lucy lastic
just ask the twillies
im geeing myself up here…
im so looking forward to seeing em
and you know what
the twillies dont pull no punches when it comes to me either
daddy i hate that silly music
when i put on bobby dylan or pink fluid
no daddy dont wear those clothes..
daddy how can you be tired..its only 3 in the morning…
then theres all the argy bargy between twillies n doodles
different alliances
random bullying
freezing the doodles out when its teenage stuff
all the carry-on you could imagine between
7 year old twins n 15 year old twins
and scarlet…
i know shes gonna get pulled around, pushed about
then suddenly abandoned
well thats life in a big family, kid
thats the bad bit bout being the baby
the twillies are gonna kill her with love
then suddenly lose interest if lindsay lohan comes on
(whoever the fuck that is)
so ya see i got my work cut out for me
its gonna be noisy expensive n exhausting
ok
i think im almost ready…
bring it on!

sunday morning
sunday morning…
theres something in a sunday…
6.48 sunday
fripp n eno on escape pod
goji juice in hand
thc in bloodstream
pk portrait on bloodred background NEARLY completed
pete completed
yes and some wiley commenter points out
why aint sk the BLACK wiggle?
fuck, i could inject a bit of raw edge visceral humour
for the long sufferin’ adults who are subjected to the wiggles
quite frankly have ya ever seen this stuff?
its enuff to drive even the sanest man(like mee!)
to go stark raving bonkers
its the most patronizing schmaltzy drippy corny
and awkward and mawkish and EMBARRASSING RUBBISH
i dont care if its made for kids
i woodna watched this malarkey when i was a kid!!!
would you?
kids arent all stupid
only some of em
in the same proportion as adults
some turkeys here
some genii there
beware
expose your kidss to this tripe
and bad results could follow
childhood is an important age ya know
if you expose yer kidss to nerdy blokes in skivvies
singing tuneless silly songs
you aint gonna get frida kahlo or johnny lennon outta it
it stands to reason
play em the church
your kids could be quoting the lyrics to the disillusionist
on the first day of school….
cmon
look i aint even gonna criticize the wiggles no more
its kinda like gawking at a traffic accident or something
but jeff n murray n stig
if ya do need a black wiggle with a bit of pizazz
and some new kiddy songs
ones that address real childrens issues
like
“popularity crisis in e flat minor”
and
“sibling strangler”
get the picture….im a vailabull
*************************
last nite me n evie starr attended a galllery opening n xmas party
at an exclusive private soiree eastern suburbs you werent there nyah nyah
bohemian bash in bondi
im just standing back as the attentive blogger
trying to capture it all for you
the colourful dresses swirl around
men with all varieties of facial hair
as we walk in evie spots her best friend from school
and shes off
leaving daddy-oh free to mingle
gee its the usual crowd plus…
society chicks with tit-jobs
gay cameramen
those brazilian types with porsches n pony-tails
where do they get all their money from? (ha-ha!)
theres lucian the director
theres andy whos having the exhibition
the gallery owner comes up n tells me how much he loves chrissy b hinde
too bad mah man…i have 0 free tickets for that
he also says hes waiting for a blind date to show
how long has she been without her eyesight i hilariously ask
another pissed man rushes over
“whos the black girl with the teeth?” he breathlessly asks
(can you believe this bullshit?)
whos the black girl without teeth i ask him back
he looks at me as if im crazy…..
i look around n evies leading a gang of kids
running around and carrying on with a good contact high
i summon her over
her cheeks are all red from running n excitement
“calm down eve!’ i order her
sure dad and runs off to start it all up again
we move out to the huge yard dotted with sculptures
a band starts up
its david lane n some local players
wow
the place starts to fill up
i chat distractedly with a stream of people
steve this is my friend from argentina juan
steve this is joe blow from bingbong row
hi im steve….
see ya later man
theres some flyers there for our play
someone points me out to a pissed english prick
he comes over to me
beery winey breath in my face
OH ARE YOU AN ACT-TOR
he heavily stresses the tor bit of actor
not acta but act-tor
as i try to meekly say no, not really
he regales me with bullshit about act-tors
even tho i keep saying “well actually…”
and finally finishes with
MY BROTHER IS AN ACT-TOR, YOU KNOW
despite all this aggravation
when the idiot asks for a tobacco-less joint
i surprise my self with my good naturedness
as i catch myself saying in my best humble aussie accent
“i’ll roll ya one, mate…”
when its done he snatches it away
greedily inhales half of it
gives it back n then ignores me from then on in
well it was a party i guess
you gotta expect to meet “characters” there
i hate some smartass being a “character” at my expense, tho
some drunk whos turned into w.b.yeats after 2 bottles of plonk
whos cornered ya at a bar and waxing all poetic in yer face
but not lettin’ ya get a word in edgewise
jesus that gets my goat
i look around
and see eve has propped a ladder against a high wall
and is leading a gang of kids in an escape attempt
evie !
i yell
she comes over
did i tell you to calm down n take it easy?
yes dad
do ya think climbing ladders over walls is taking it easy?
no dad
bloody be’ave yerself eve or we’ll both get bounced out…
ok dad
i have a little drink of red wine
oohh cheap n ruff
nasty stuff….mmm…i like it
now eve n cohorts have built a long jump
from some panels that may have been a “sculpture”
evie!!!
sorry dad
the dudes blind date turns up
uh oh
he wants me to meet the b.d. n her flatmate both english
the dude tries to tell em who i “am” but they never heard of me
but under the murky way was a hit in england he insists
no it werent ! me n the ladies say
the dude takes me aside
i like the flatmate more than the blind date he whispers
yeah i could see that coming i concur
what should i do ?he asks
(why is he asking me i dont know!)
well i say..
seeing a blind date is just a random blip
and a blind dates flatmate is another random blip
how can one random blip mind if you prefer the other?
yes yes he says but how will i ever split them up now? he asks
i look around
a band of jammers is jammin some jazz
n eve is dancing around like salome
waving her arms like a greek sybil talking to apollo
with her hair pulled back like that she could be a dryad
shes on a huge contact high from the party
n having a whale of a time
auroras gonna be angry she didnt come she calls out to me
finally im just standing there in the garden
in the darkness watching all the people do their things
the jostling n jockeying for position
the guys carrying on like peacocks
the aftershave n the cigarrettes n the booze n the schmoozin’
just older children thats all, after all
suddenly evie runs up looking upset
i couldnt find you daddy
her cheeks are red and shes all hot n sweaty
time to go miss starr i say
shes happy to leave too
and we exit into the warm bondi night
and we discuss the party on the way home
evies still sleeping in as i write this
laid out by her festive exertions
boy shes gonna be a wild party girl when she grows up
i stifle a shudder
well, maybe not
maybe she’ll change….but i doubt it…
anyhow thats it for today
love etc
killer

overcast warm morning
will write blogge then take los nipper doodelles
to la plage and la mer
buy some pears…yeah you know the usual routine
im list’ning to mimesis 2 the instrumental record
polinski n co are ambient geniuses
unbelievable textures n depths
whirling whorls of marine music
tender romantic piano
distant emotionless shards
aching strings
lovely rubbery double bass….the real thing!
spanish guitars n fizzing percussion
god all i had to do was open my mouth….
how could anyone get this music wrong….?
polinski n colin n co
theyre creating this sublime music
music implying so much
is it possible to wring more meaning out of music than this?
i just had to open my mouth
the music it was filling my head
dragging the words out
rolled up as they were
in my mind
waiting for this music to waken them
this first track i listen to now
im an ideal sk
young sk
or little sk
im in this caravan down the south coast
its in this beautiful little caravan park
tho no one else seems to be staying there
my caravan is always warm n cosy
i seem to live on tea n toast which is always there
i watch the fish in the little stream
maybe i go to the beach
and walk alone that lonely stretch of shore
just like erskine
wondering vaguely where those 2 sets of 2 girls are
but maybe that never happens either
or if it does
the next day i will instantly forget
anyway
i feel like at last
im on holiday
a blessed holiday, fiendss
i aint ever goin’ back to work now
im just reading books and relaxing
drinking tea in the empty caravan park
oh finally gone the constant anxiety inculcated into me
ever since i could think
feeling exposed
feeling stripped of my shields
feeling naked
but now
here in this old but comfy caravan
is peace AT LAST
no more rat race
no more dog eat dogfood
cat eat catfood
but who eat soulfood? world
no more heres yer place on the ladder
no more argy bargy n carry-on malarkey
no more heres your desk n get workings
no more where you been?
no more whydja doo that?
no more im lonely, tired, frightened,hungry
no more oh no i cant believe its true….
no more nomores…..
cant you see
this warm caravan in this silent verdant meadow
these swaying trees
the oaks n gums n the weeping willows
bending down along the stream that runs to sea
the bees n the tiny yellow flowers
my books about…..
my mug of sweet tea
my toast with hanks jam
my comforting darkness inside during the noon sun
my soft grey shorts splattered faintly with paint
my flannelette shirt rolled up to the elbows
theres no one to ring
theres no one to see
theres nothing i have to ever do
just potter about
feeling peaceful
and how long does this go on for
well you see
as each day is almost the same as the last
and same as the next
they blur into each other
the mornings roll into the nights
the nights deliver me up each morning
safe n sound n sleepy
the yellow sun
the cobalt blue sky
the surf gently crashing
(but the time has stopped within my dream sings todd r)
then
one day
an intruder
who
who who is here
who is here in MY holiday?

working on my play
the other actor mr goldspink is absolutely excellent
and he has worked up a chillingly unbalanced “jerry”
an aggressive extroverted headcase from nyc circa 1960
im peter
a boring timid upperclass ponce who doesnt like jerry 1 bit
but hes fascinated and too scared to leave
our director is lucian
he directed the merchant of venice i was in
he works as a superwaiter at corporate gigs
which is a shame cos he devotes himself selflessly
to the theatre
and doesnt seem to get much financial reward
a true bohemian
no where to live
just crashing on couches
and directing the stuff he likes to do
even one show in an alleyway in melbjorn
i just wish this guy could cash in once but good
hes a dedicated thespian warrior
fighting for art n indepent thinkin’
on the fuckin’ frontline of art
and he doesnt own a thing
anyway
the other night he got very excited about zoo story
mainly cos of sebastian…not so much me
but thats ok
im the straight guy, the fall guy
the cowardly custard
i think its gonna be a good play
12 n 13th of jan
bondi nsw
be there or……
(insert your own insult here)

committed to painting 4 new pics of groop
have done moi (black)
halfway thru mwp (blue)
then pk(red)
n tee pee (purple)
what will you read into that
so be it!
so i must paint n paint n paint
thats it
beware!
love
sk